Top 300 Quotes From Dr. Daniel Jackson
Monk: Lightning flashes, sparks shower, in one blink of your eyes you've mis-seen.
Jack: Lightning you say?
Monk: I only know a snowflake cannot exist in a storm of fire.
Jack: What?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Jack...
Jack: No, I - You know me, I'm a huge fan of subtlety, but that's downright encrypted!
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Sorry, don't worry about him.
Monk: The sun is warm, the wind is wild, the grass is green along the shores. Here no bull can hide.
Jack: I don't know about that.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Jack, he's speaking in the Zen Koans. Whatever theology he follows may be an original basis for Buddhism on Earth.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well that's very nice. I'll be sure to call the Dalai Lama when we get home.
Vala: There's a 70 percent chance that if we dial manually we'll be able to establish a connection and a 50 percent chance that the bomb will just go off.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: That's 120 percent.
Vala: Well, there's some crossover where we establish a wormhole *and* it blows up.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: [over radio] Jackson, did you catch any of that?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [over radio] Yeah, 100 percent chance we should have brought someone that knows what they're doing.
Jonas: Don't get me wrong. I love the job.
Daniel: Well, yeah, who could argue? I mean, lousy hours, constant peril.
Jacob: Then enter the right combination.
Major: We tried. What does Selmak say?
Jacob: Try again.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Very helpful.
Jack: [Daniel, human again after being ascended, has no recollection of who he is] You were a member of my team, SG-1. You're a friend of mine. Last year, you died.
Daniel: I'm dead?
Jack: Obviously not. You just... sort of died.
Sam: As far as our computer is the dialing sequence to P3X 584 ran perfectly normal.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Except for the fact we ended up 12,000 light years off course.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: What's goin' on?
Young: Daniel!
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Sounds like him. At least the loud, grating part.
Colonel: You've got that look.
Teal'c: To which look are you referring, O'Neill?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: The one that says, "I have misgivings about this mission, but deep down I know we're doing the right thing"?
Colonel: No, the other one.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Oh.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: General.
Brigadier: Colonel. We've all met.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Yes, actually we know each other's life stories.
Brigadier: That snippiness?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Is that a word?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [Addressing what he thinks is a Kull warrior] Hey, how's it going? Guess it's just you and me, huh. It's a little strange, isn't it? See that weapon I shot you with should have killed you. What's even stranger is you guys usually don't take prisoners either. I mean it's kinda kill first and... no, that's generally just about it, just the killing.
Vala: Ow. Ow, you hit me!
Dr. Daniel Jackson: You hit *me*.
Vala: Yeah. You know, we could just have sex instead.
[Jack has filled a crossword with Ancient words]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Jack, this is it.
Colonel: Now see, I assume we still speak the same language, mostly.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Sphere: Planet. Label: Name.
Colonel: Following still you not!
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Sam is right, we are not equipped to take these guys on.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: I have no intention of taking anybody on. I'm just going to pose as a buyer.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: You?
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Well no offense Jackson, but you do not strike me as the drug dealer type.
Emmett: I just, uh, came by to, uh, give this back to you. I'm not gonna use it.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Wait. I want you to.
[pause]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: You know I died in this room? Ascended. Doctor Fraiser did everything she could. I mean, she went three days without sleep. Even in the end, she didn't wanna let me go. I owed her a lot more than I ever gave back. I thought a lot about what you said about, uh, Kristofsky. I think this shows what Janet Fraiser was all about.
Emmett: Me too.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I want other people to know.
Vala: Oh, I had a baby. You know, I never thought I'd agree with my father, but now I'm starting to remember about how he used to go on about you nurture them, and then you raise them, and you teach them the best that you can, and then all they do is break your hearts. I always assumed that his experience was just tainted by me.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: What are you talking about?
Vala: Well, she started of out all sweet and innocent to begin with, and now she's hell-bent on domination of the galaxy.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: What? How old is she?
Vala: A few hours!
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Their whole world is in flames, and we're offering gasoline. How is that help?
Teal'c: We are in fact offering water.
Colonel: Thank you.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I was speaking metaphorically.
Colonel: Well, stop it. It's not fair to Teal'c.
Sam: Sir, the asteroid's core is composed almost entirely of Naquadah.
Jack: Of course it is.
Sam: It makes up about 45 percent of the total mass.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Of course it does.
Samantha: Sir, what makes you so confident?
Jack: Because Lya is a fair and insightful person who will vote our way. Besides, she likes us.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Lya likes everyone. That's the Nox way.
Jack: So what does he really want?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: You heard him yourself. He wants sanctuary.
Jack: I'm not buying that.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: He gambled we would show compassion even to our worst enemy. He was right.
Jack: You think he orchestrated this? Let me tell you something. The only compassion I showed him was by not blowing his head off.
Teal'c: I have witnessed once powerful Goa'uld enter the service of their conquerors in exchange for life. When Apophis himself was a conqueror it gave him great pleasure to see his enemies so weakened.
Captain: But we're a long way from being his conquerors.
Teal'c: But we are greatly responsible for his downfall.
Major: He lost an army when you destroyed those two ships in orbit.
Captain: Bra'tac did say that seriously weakened his place among the Goa'uld System Lords.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: So his blood is in the water and all the other sharks are having a feeding frenzy.
Teal'c: And he has come here seeking refuge.
Jack: Well that's tough. I say we beat whatever information we can out of old snake boy, open that gate and toss him back to the sharks.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Is it just me or does that look like an Asgard beam?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: It does, which makes no sense. Why would they take our gate?
Brigadier: Yeah. Usually they ask nicely before they ignore us and do whatever they damn well please.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: What the hell did you say?
Vala: I think at first it's what I didn't say. You see, apparently there's a blessing you're supposed to recite over the leaves before you drink, which nobody warned me about. Then I think it's what I did say. I was trying to politely explain what was going on and then his wife started screaming and accusing me of being overcome. At which point I believe I suggested she might want to think about procreation... with herself.
Alternate: We won our freedom in the Battle for Dakara. And on that day, not only did we defeat Ba'al and the Replicators, you ensured that Anubis would never again threaten this galaxy. And then all Jaffa were united under our new leader, Bra'tac.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Bra'tac? Really? That hasn't happened here yet.
Alternate: And with the new threat to this galaxy, I returned to SG-1.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Right, along with Col. Mitchell, myself, and eventually Col. Carter, who rejoined following her...
Alternate: Following her honeymoon.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: What? No, I was going to say following her stint on Prometheus. Honeymoon?
Alternate: Indeed.
Jack: It's true, Michael. We came to Earth to hide among your people a long, long time ago.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: From a galaxy far, far away.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Teal'c and Bra'tac believe that the only way to eliminate all of the System Lords is to recruit as many Jaffa into the fifth column as possible. Now only when their numbers are sufficient would it be possible to rise up and unilaterally destroy all the Goa'uld at once. Even then, Ba'al controls the super soldier army, which cannot be turned. So even if the rebel Jaffa can someday take out the majority of the System Lords, there'd still be a massive war to fight. The problem is though, Ishta doesn't wanna wait. Moloc is continuing to order the deaths of all female Jaffa born in his domain. And her underground railroad to Haktyl can't save them all. Even now she's organizing a rebellion to overthrow Moloc. Now Teal'c and Bra'tac are trying to convince her to see the bigger picture.
Brigadier: What was my question again?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Um, "How's it going?"
Brigadier: It seemed so innocuous at the time.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Tell us about Va'lar.
Teal'c: I have not heard that name in years. I trained with him under Bra'tac. We served in the personal guard of Apophis.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: What happened to him?
Teal'c: He failed his god.
Colonel: His god? You mean that scum sucking, overdressed, boom box voiced snake in the head? Latest on our long list of dead bad guys?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: This is the Hall of Might?
Gairwyn: You were expecting something different?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well... uh... maybe a hall?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I hope it's important. I was right in the middle of translating that cuneiform tablet we found on P3L-255.
Major: I still have to finish recalibrating MALP 3K sensors for long-term reconnaissance on P5X-3D7.
Teal'c: I was unable to complete my Kelno'reem.
Colonel: I was just about to do something important.
Teal'c: Should we not wait until Colonel Carter returns from Washington?
Major: She's still there briefing the President on the scenario that played out in the alternate reality where the Stargate was made public.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Well that's taking longer than it was supposed to.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: It could be a good way to examine what might happen here.
Major: Sounds like President Hayes is having a hard time just getting past the fact that he wasn't President.
Teal'c: We located this vessel in a field several miles from here.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: We were onboard trying to override the command code when it was remotely activated and flown onto the roof of the school.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: That's right. You brought us to you.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: After that, it was a simple matter of activating Chimera. It's an Asgard holographic projection system. It made it look like we beamed in.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: And you might've gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for us meddling kids.
Jack: What kind of archaeologist carries a gun?
Daniel: Uh, I do.
Jack: Okay, bad example.
Shen: [In Mandarin] How's your Mandarin?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [In Mandarin] Not as good as your English.
Shen: [In Mandarin] It shows.
[Indicating Mitchell]
Shen: You're bringing him along?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [In Mandarin] We have to babysit him.
[Shen laughs]
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Yeah, that's very funny.
[In Mandarin]
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Screw you!
[Shen and Jackson do a double take]
Major: Yep! Just like old times. Except, I'm here against my will and you look like Marcel Marceau.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Yeah. You know, some things change, but others stay the same.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I don't know anything about the ship.
Kull: But you are very attractive.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: ...What?
[the Kull warrior slowly walks up to Daniel and stands just in front of him]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [very fast] Hey, you know, big guy. I'm flattered, really I am, it's just that, uh, you're not my type. And I'm more than a little disturbed that I *might* be yours.
[the Kull warrior begins to remove its helmet. Daniel screws his eyes shut in horror]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Whoa, whoa, whoa, you don't have to do that! Don't, don't, don't! NO!
[He opens his eyes and realises that the Kull is actually a beautiful woman]
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: What's wrong?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Ah, nothing, I guess I just wish my first trip to Atlantis wasn't under such desperate circumstances.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Ah, it's just another mission, Jackson.
Vala: One upon which the fate of the entire galaxy hangs in the balance.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: And he goes on those all the time.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [Chaka attempts to apologise to Colonel O'Neill for getting he and Daniel captured by the slavers] Jack, it's not his fault.
Colonel: Daniel, I'm chained up in a bad man's barn with a bunch of Unas, whose to blame is not at the top of my list of concerns. Yet.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I did a time-line Boolean search for religion, cult, Set, Setesh, Setekh, Seth...
Jack: [interrupts] Yadda...
Hank: Another SG-1 came through twenty minutes ago, which puts the count at twelve teams, not including yourselves.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, at least we're in good company!
Master: [about Vala] She displays the wisdom of a battle seasoned warrior.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: She's a mother. Close enough.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: That warm, fuzzy feeling you're experiencing may be the effects of a device that's inhibiting your ability to concentrate and focus your powers.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Symptoms may include dizziness, irritability...
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Nausea.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Mild nausea, and a condition known as hotdog fingers.
Damaris: It makes no difference what you do to me. But know this, the Ori are all-seeing. They are already aware of this affront to their eminence, and shall strike down those who dare to defy them.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: [Mitchell looks up] Nothing yet. You?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Drawing a blank. A little thirsty.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: That doesn't count.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: No, it doesn't.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [as Sam and Jack bring an unconscious Teal'c aboard] He's been shot!
Colonel: He resisted a little.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [O'Neill returns after helping Teal'c search for Tanith] Did you find anything?
Colonel: No, he's still looking.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: You've been out there for hours.
Colonel: Yeah, it's a whole Jaffa revenge thing.
Jack: What's your situation?
Daniel: I'm hiding. What's yours?
Jack: Carter and I are on the planet.
Daniel: You're gonna have to be a little more specific, Jack. I haven't had a chance to look out a window lately.
Jack: You're hovering over Jonas' home world.
Daniel: Why?
Jack: I wish I knew. Are you in any immediate danger?
Daniel: Eh, depends what you mean by immediate.
Jack: Daniel.
Daniel: I'm fine. I got a location on Jonas' cell from the ship's computer. I'm on my way there right now. I just gotta couple of problems.
Jack: Like what?
Daniel: Well, I'm not sure how to shut off the force field protecting his cell, yet.
Jack: You said a couple?
Daniel: Yeah, actually, I'm a little lost at the moment. And I've only got about, uh, three hours left before the Tok'ra isotope wears off and I'm visible to the ships sensors.
Jack: So business as usual then, huh?
Daniel: I dunno. Is it?
Jack: Yes, we do this kinda thing all the time.
Daniel: Oh well, good. That's-that's comforting, then.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I'm sorry, I just... Sometimes I just... I forget what you've been through... IF you've actually been through any of that. Are you messing with me?
Vala: Is it working?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: G-get out! Go! Get out!... GO!
Jacob: How's it going?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Oh, swell. It's kinda like Goa'uld Mardi Gras here.
[SG1 has just been tortured by drug dealers]
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Look, for what it's worth, guys, sorry I dragged you into this.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [blasé] Oh, it happens all the time.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: You know, I've never been on a-a stakeout before. Shouldn't we have, like-like donuts or something?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I'm just gonna talk to myself here for a while, 'cause you're not gonna talk to me and... Not that you guys are very talkative, but, uh...
Kull: [in a very deep, Goa'uld-esque voice] You may prove useful.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: OK, now we're gettin' somewhere. Where's everybody else?
Kull: I transported them onto the Al'kesh.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, you kept the wrong guy, 'cause I don't know anything about the ship.
Kull: But you are very attractive.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: What? Hey, you know, big guy. I'm flattered, really I am, it's just that, uh, you're not my type. And I'm more than a little disturbed that I might be yours.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Lose the weapon; move away from the console.
Vala: I liked you better tied up.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Against the wall. Lose the weapon.
Vala: This suit still absorbs zat blasts.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I'm covering your head.
Vala: Still, you should probably make me take it off.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I think I'll turn the ship around first.
Vala: I don't know. If I had me at gunpoint, that wouldn't be my first choice.
Sergeant: [subtitled "You Russian spies?"] Vy sovetskih shpionov?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [subtitled "No!"] Nyet.
Jack: Daniel?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: He just asked if we were Soviet spies, I just...
[Jack gives Daniel a pointed look]
Sergeant: [to Jack] Come with me.
Jack: [gets up] Sure. You bet.
[Daniel turns around to face the bunk, pinching the bridge of his nose]
Jack: "Nyet"?
Chief Mst Sgt. Walter Harriman: Doctor Jackson, we've just received a communiqué from the Rand government.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [reading the communiqué, to Kane:] They want to talk.
[Cut to Daniel and Kane sitting in an underground jail]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: This isn't exactly what I had in mind.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Whether or not a god really exists is not as important as whether or not a belief in god really exists.
Colonel: You wouldn't be saying that if we were talking about a Goa'uld.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Your government stopped responding to our communiqués months ago. We assumed that you...
Jarrod: Completely destroyed each other? Not quite yet.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I was going to say "no longer wanted our help" but, that'll do.
Apophis: I demand kal mah.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I'm not really sure, but I think what he's asking for is...
Teal'c: Sanctuary.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Right.
Major: Why?
Jack: I think some rival Goa'uld just kicked his ass.
Jack: Is everyone clear on that? Daniel?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: What?
Jack: Good.
Receptionist: I'm sorry, I can't let you inside the complex without clearance.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: We're looking for people who are already inside the building.
Receptionist: If you give me their names I can check and see if they're here.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Okay, one of them is named...
Colonel: Eamon.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Eamon.
Receptionist: And his cousin Murray?
Colonel: Murray! Yes, that's them.
Receptionist: Yes, they're here.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Can we come inside now?
Receptionist: No.
Colonel: Alright, here's what I'd like you to do. Pick up that phone, call Mr. Whoever Runs This Place...
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Hagan.
Receptionist: Sorry, but I just can't do that.
Colonel: We're old friends. Tell him Mr. Man Who Has The Stargate is here to see him. He'll understand.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [about the Ancient knowledge in his mind] You can't handle it, can you?
RepliCarter: I can. I just need time to process, share it with the others.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Like the universe it's infinite. It's not just knowledge and information, it's understanding on a level that you'll never reach.
RepliCarter: Why do you think that?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Because you're a machine.
RepliCarter: So are you. Just of weaker construction.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: And that's where you're wrong.
RepliCarter: We'll see.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Just another routine trip to save the world sir.
Dr. Daniel Jackson,25841: Indeed.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [Daniel returns to the mines in royal robes after being healed, visiting the remaining SG1 members who presumed him dead] Hi guys!
Sam: Daniel! Oh... wow!
Jack: Surprisingly difficult to kill you isn't it?
Teal'c: We are pleased to see you, Daniel Jackson.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: They'll never see it coming.
Brigadier: Which is one of the advantages of a totally insane idea!
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Yeah... Where'd I learn that from?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, we were kinda hopin' that you could, um, like, beam them out, or...
Jacob: [chuckles] Beam them out? What am I, Scotty?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Wait. Wait!
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: What? I was lookin' for the light switch.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: New guy!
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Hey, you touched that.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I-I know how to read that.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: You done this before?
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Uh, fight a knight in armor, no, can't say that I have.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, you're doin' good.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: You could fit every pyramid on Earth inside this thing and still have room to spare.
Jack: Yeah, can you imagine heatin' this place?
Major: My access code isn't working. They must have decided we're a security risk and locked us out.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: So you can't get in.
Major: I didn't say that.
Daniel: On the other hand, it's kind of an opportunity.
Jack: How's that?
Daniel: Well think about it, I mean if you knew in advance that everything was going to go back to the way it was then...
[Teal'c stops writing to listen to the conversation]
Daniel: you could do anything. For as long as you want, without having to worry about consequences.
[Daniel pauses as O'Neill rises from his chair]
Jack: Excuse me.
[O'Neill leaves. Teal'c nods to Jackson and also leaves]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Can you tell me why you stopped me from killing Anubis the last time I was Ascended?
Oma: Because if I didn't stop you the others would have, and they wouldn't have been as nice about it.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: You mean they wouldn't have erased my memory and left me naked on a planet?
Oma: That was your choice.
[Daniel looks at Oma incredulously]
Oma: Okay, maybe not the naked part.
Prior: We are beacons on the road to enlightenment.
Cameron: No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.
Dr. Daniel Jackson,: Nice work on the metaphor.
Cameron: Thank you.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Yeah, I think we have a problem here. I figure that flashing wasn't good news, and the fact that in Goa'uld it says... Warning, Warning.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [about to land at Atlantis] I wouldn't miss this for the world. You know the number of times I tried to get here?
Vala: Only two of those times were my fault.
[on a mine]
Major: Uh, it's flashing green. Green is good?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: No.
Major: Bad?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Bad.
Major: How bad?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Very, very bad.
Major: Dad!
Major: Look at it in terms of optics. We must look like major players now.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Most of the system lords were killed by the Replicators, we defeated the Replicators.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Wow, we look cool.
Major: Don't let it go to your head.
Colonel: Didn't you guys leave here in a submarine?
Major: We, uh...
Daniel: The last thing I remember, we were being pulled into the...
Major: Not really sure what happened, sir.
Colonel: Here's a thought: We just exchanged hostages. It's just a thought.
Teal'c: Most often, dreams are merely the mind's way of dealing with desires that cannot be fulfilled.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Oh. So basically, I'm destined never to get a good night's sleep again.
Teal'c: Knowing your past experiences, Daniel Jackson, I do not know how you have slept well before now.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Thank you, Teal'c. This conversation has been disturbing on... many levels.
Vala: I hate long goodbyes.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [quickly] Okay goodbye.
Vala: Don't I even get a hug?
Vala: [Daniel hesitates then hugs Vala. Vala walks towards the Stargate but Daniel grabs her wrist] Daniel, don't make this harder than it already is.
[Daniel removes a stolen jewel from her hand]
Vala: Oh. Can't blame a girl for trying.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Yeah, I can.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I'm energy now.
Colonel: How's that workin' out for you?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Good actually. Very...
Colonel: Good.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Very good.
Daniel: Now, this line recurs several times: "Domavatus vestul motabilum."
Malikai: "Conqueror of time."
Daniel: In this context, I'd say more like "Master of the uncertain past."
Malikai: You're a skilled linguist, Dr Jackson.
Daniel: Thank you. I had the opportunity to hear the language spoken a year or so ago, so...
Vala: What? We're already trapped in here. How much worse can it get?
[there's a rumbling and the ceiling starts dropping]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: How 'bout that much?
Vala: It was a mistake the moment I said it. The moment.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Who makes a movie out of a series that only lasted three episodes?
Teal'c: It allegedly performed well on DVD.
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: If he speaks again, I'll shoot him.
[Sam mouths 'Thank you']
Dr. Daniel Jackson: But to answer your question, we are introducing another stargate into the equation. Teal'c should have it in position right now.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: If we can make a connection between that gate, and one from the Pegasus galaxy...
Dr. Rodney McKay: You're gonna try and make a jump.
[to John]
Dr. Rodney McKay: Don't shoot me. You know I can't help myself.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: So, we go in disguise; pretend to be foreigners.
Jack: How are you gonna do that?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, I speak 23 different languages. Pick one.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [Daniel finds Jack and Kasuf in his apartment] How'd you get in here?
Jack: You left the base before we could catch you so we thought we'd stop by and see you here.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: How'd you get in here?
Jack: Got sick of waiting in the hall so I let us in. You need a new lock, by the way.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: You sure you're okay with this?
Vala: Why does everyone keep asking me that?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Because she's your daughter. And no matter what she's done, it must be difficult to see her treated this way.
Vala: Let's get something clear. She's not my daughter, Daniel. The Ori impregnated me against my will and forced me to bring her into the galaxy. I was an incubator. A shipping crate. And nothing more.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Actually, General, the Tollan refused to give us any technology.
Jack: Offered us a nice fruit basket, though.
[the gate disappeared]
Sgt. Mackenzie: One minute we're getting coffee, the next minute the gate...
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Wait a minute! Wait a minute. You were getting coffee?
Sgt. Mackenzie: Umm... It...
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I'm joking. I'm joking. It's just a joke.
[Teal'c has started hallucinating about his wife]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Woman? D-Did he just call me a-a-a woman?
Colonel: Yes, I believe he did.
[Daniel has been cleared to attend a briefing after having lost his memory]
Daniel: Besides, who am I gonna tell? I mean I don't, uh, I don't remember anybody, right?
Jack: Good one.
Daniel: Thanks, Jim.
Daniel: [Daniel Jackson has just found Jonas, who is being held in a cell by Anubis] Jonas!
Jonas: What happened?
Daniel: I don't know.
Jonas: Whatever it was, there's not enough power to maintain the force fields.
[touches flickering force field guarding the cell, is stung by force field]
Jonas: Ah!
Daniel: You okay?
Jonas: That hurt.
Daniel: Arm?
Jonas: A little numb.
[gauges force field]
Jonas: I think I can make it.
Daniel: Well, you better... I don't wanna have to take you outta here in a dustpan.
Senior Airman Simon Wells: She's dead because of me.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: No. No, she's dead because a Jaffa shot her. She was doing her job. Same way you were doing yours when a Jaffa shot you.
Senior Airman Simon Wells: I can't make it feel right.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: It wasn't right. Nothing about it was right. But it also wasn't your fault.
Colonel: [whispering into his microphone, testing radio communications with Daniel's house] Hey, Daniel... Daniel! Are you sleeping yet?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [in normal voice] Yes, Jack. I'm fast asleep.
Major: Ba'al is in Adria?
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Yes, sir. It's the bad guy equivalent of cordon bleu.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: It actually makes sense from his perspective, sir. Not only has he taken on a more powerful host, but Adria is also in control of the Ori army.
Major: So he convinces them to do his bidding and not hers.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, when you think about it, their goals aren't all that different.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Control of the galaxy, worship by millions.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: And if the Ori are dead, he'll never be called to the carpet by the boys upstairs.
Major: What do we do now?
Teal'c: Kill them both.
Daniel: [into the radio] Sam, Jack, it's all clear. You can come out now.
Jack: [into the radio] In a minute.
[turns back to Sam. Daniel flicks his eyes nervously, viewing the celebration; Jack resumes kissing Sam]
Dr. Samantha Carter: [muffled, after something in the ship sends out sparks] I can fix that.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [Looking at the Stargate] You miss it?
Jonas: Yeah, I do.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, judging from what you've got to deal with back on Kelowna, I'm not surprised. I'd take life-threatening danger over one of those council meetings any day of the week.
Daniel: What's this? Artifacts?
Major: Yes.
Daniel: You found all this and-and you didn't contact me?
Major: We were going to.
Daniel: They've been moved.
Major: Well, they were in the way.
[Daniel gets a sour look on his face]
Jack: Daniel?
[pats Daniel on the shoulder]
Jack: Go to your happy place.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [after watching the Wormhole X-Treme preview] Well, that looked... familiar.
Jenny: You said that you were in trouble with the establishment.
Jack: And... we are.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: We are.
Jack: Just not the establishment of this planet. It's true. We came to Earth to hide among your people a long, long time ago.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: From a galaxy far, far away.
Samantha: So you built that... stargate?
Narim: Yes.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: *Way* smarter than we are.
Jack: Ours is bigger.
Vala: I still think it's cause for celebration. So I say we go out, have lunch, and I'll pay.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Pay with what, exactly?
Vala: Well, Daniel will cover me until I get my share of the loot.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Loot?
Vala: Yeah, from all the treasures we're going to bring back from our off-world travels. What, I have to wait until I'm off probation before I start collecting?
Thor: Your projectile weapons proved effective in fatally damaging the Replicators.
Colonel: Some.
Thor: Your technology and strategy for destroying the Bilskirnir was successful.
Colonel: Yeah, but you guys...
Thor: The Asgard have tried to stop them. You have demonstrated their weakness may be found from a less sophisticated approach. We are no longer capable of such thinking.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Wait a minute. You're actually saying that you need someone dumber than you are?
Colonel: You may have come to the right place.
Major: Thor, with all due respect to your situation we need SG-1 here.
Major: I could go, sir...
Colonel: I don't know, Carter. You may not be dumb enough.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I just wanted to let you know that I'm okay, and I will talk to Pyrus tonight at dinner.
Sam: You get dinner?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Yeah, there's some sort of feast in my honor, or something.
Jack: Feast? There's a feast, is there?
Vala: I don't mind telling you, I've been looking forward to this little date all week.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I wouldn't exactly call it a 'date'. It's...
Vala: Oh, I've watched enough of your television to know what a date is, Daniel. It's a romantic event typified by dinner, movie and/or karaoke and, usually, culminating in a night of...
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Okay, this is definitely not a date. It's, it's two friends and coworkers out for dinner.
Vala: [Vala looks disappointed] Oh.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: No offense, Jackson, but you do not strike me as the drug dealer type. In fact, you're not even close.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I think I'm as close as you are!
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Come on! You're miles away.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Teal'c, which one of us is closer?
Teal'c: I believe the three of you to be equidistant.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Oh, please! Mary Poppins is not even in the running!
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Hey!
Teal'c: Appearances may be deceiving.
Jack: One man's ceiling is another man's floor.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: A fool's paradise is a wise man's hell.
Jack: Never run with... scissors?
Colonel: She made a pass at me.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Sam?
Colonel: Anise, Freya, one of 'em.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Really?
Colonel: The host half.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Uh... that's odd.
Colonel: You're telling me. Odd timing too, don't ya think?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Yes.
Colonel: Apparently the snake likes you.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Really? You know, I think these are the Jack O'Neill moments I would probably miss the most.
Jack: ...And after that, I kind of lost my temper.
Major: What exactly does *that* mean?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Let's just say Jack made a reference to Freyr's mother.
Oma: The Universe is vast and we are so small. There is really only one thing we can ever truly control.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: What's that?
Oma: Whether we are good or evil.
Samantha: Well, he can't actually make us do anything we don't want to, sir.
Dr. Janet Fraiser: Then why did I have to treat your arm for a burn? Didn't you say Urgo was responsible?
Urgo: I didn't mean to!
Samantha: He didn't mean to.
Teal'c: It was not his intention.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Isn't that why we're doing this, all of this? The Stargate program, the budget? Isn't so we can go out and meet new races, gather advanced technology, possibly learn about ourselves in the process?
Vala: Oh, come on. You do it to meet women.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: She has a point, sir.
Major: I've been thinking I need to get out on an off-world mission or two.
Vala: We have to steal it.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: We are not stealing the map!
Vala: Nightfall. Sneak in under cover of darkness.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Maybe if I can just talk to Osric and convince him that our cause is virtuous.
Vala: Oh, that's brilliant. And while you're distracting him, the rest of us can steal it.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: As we discussed the situation we realized we could pinpoint the source of the phenomenon to a precise window. Specifically the interim journey between the two gates.
Cameron: Did she just say "we"?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Pardon me?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: She said we. You said we?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Ah, me and... myself, I suppose. The other Samantha Carter.
Cameron: Right, finally someone who can keep up with you.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: [Smiling] Yep!
Teal'c: This indicates it belongs to Sekhmet.
Agent: Who was that?
Teal'c: A Goa'uld who at one time was loyal to Ra.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: From what we know, she was a powerful ally of his. He would routinely dispatch her to rule planets in his stead, quell rebellions, oversee mass executions. You know, all the fun stuff.
Colonel: What's with this Jomo Sicko thing?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Joma Secu.
Teal'c: Events do appear to be repeating themselves.
Daniel: Since when?
Jack: Since we went to P4X-639.
Major: We haven't been to P4X-639.
Jack: Yes we have.
[to Daniel]
Jack: "No we haven't." That's what you were gonna say.
Daniel: Of course that's what I was gonna say.
Jack: Okay, bad example.
Major: [It has been established that Mother is a Reetou] Charlie, how did your mother control the iris?
Charlie: Mother came ahead of me weeks ago. She observed you and how you operate the iris. Then, when the time came, she opened it for me just as you do.
Major: She just typed it into the computer?
Captain: That is how the computer behaved, sir. As if it was being overridden by another console.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: So the Reetou can operate things in our phase?
Charlie: [Looks at Mother and then back] Yes.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Yeah, you would think that a race smart enough to fly around in space would be smart enough to have seat belts.
Jacob: I just prefer not to crash.
Alternate: [Alternate Teal'c pushes Mitchell into a bulkhead, knocking him out] Wouldn't it have been easier to zat him?
Alternate: Easier, yes. But far less gratifying.
Alternate: Did he just insult me?
Jack: I distinctly remember sitting here, listening to Carter prattle on about solar activity and a... corona... something.
Major: Coronal mass emissions - I was just about to bring it up.
Jack: There you go, how would I know that?
Major: Maybe you read my report.
Daniel: Maybe he *read* your report?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: How's Sam?
Jack: Hammond recommended a psych evaluation.
Teal'c: Do you believe Major Carter has become mentally unstable?
Jack: No more than the rest of us.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [Looking at Teal'c's apartment] Wow! I like what you're doing with the place. Sort of... Jaffa chic with a east African flair.
Teal'c: I have discovered there are many programs on television which offer advice in the area of home design and decoration.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Yeah, I'm a little more into the History Channel myself.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Are we still doing movie night?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Yeah, why not?
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Yeah, I've already picked something out.
Teal'c: Old School.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Starship Troopers.
Teal'c: Is it humorous?
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Is it ever.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: These are Tobin numbers. This is 1, this is 2, this is 3...
Major: Wait, wait! What about zero?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: What?
Major: Zero. Why didn't you say zero?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Uh... because there's no zero in the Phoenician numerical system.
Jacob: What if the Tobins added it?
Major: He's right! Inventing technology with this level of sophistication would require a zero.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Why?
Major: Just trust me. It's a math thing.
[Bra'tac comes to the SGC]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: This is Dr. Elizabeth Weir. She's the new leader of this facility.
Dr. Elizabeth Weir: [extends her hand] Hello.
Master: [concerned] Has Hammond of Texas fallen in battle?
Dr. Elizabeth Weir: No, sir. He's-he's fine.
[Carter has just killed Seth with a Goa'uld hand device]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: You killed him.
Jack: [In an undertone] Hail, Dorothy.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Unfortunately, what we didn't get were any corresponding gate addresses, and the process of going through that library page by page looking for clues could have potentially taken years. So I knew we were gonna have to narrow the search parameters a little. That's when it hit me. Sir Gawain.
Cameron: Wasn't he one of the knights who says 'Ni'?
Jack: I do appreciate that you were the one that came to see if I was okay. That... that means something.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Ah, actually, no, it doesn't.
Jack: Na?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Um... we, ah, we drew straws. I lost.
Vala: How dare you assume that I acquired those bracelets through anything but honest means. I may have a less than perfect reputation...
Dr. Daniel Jackson: You told me you stole them!
Vala: [Speaking with a Goa'uld voice] We want to stop these people from falling victim to the Priors. That's what I'm going to do.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: This is not what I had in mind.
Vala: What your mind may or may not be able to imagine is really none of my concern. Now kindly get out of your god's face.
Colonel: How's the leg? Can you walk?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: It's just a deep, bleeding gash, but it'll be fine.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: I thought these people trusted you. Why are we sneaking around avoiding everybody?
Vala: I already told you, they won't recognize me dressed like this. Fortunately I left a couple of spare outfits.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: What is it with her and her wardrobe?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: You know, I think we could probably explain to them...
Vala: It will only take a second. Can a girl have a little privacy?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: No, besides I think I've seen just about everything there is to see.
Vala: [Smiling] Right.
Major: Why don't you go back up to the infirmary? I promise you I will notify you as soon as there is any news.
Dr. Daniel Jackson,: Sir, I know that there is no reason for me to be here. But I just... I feel like I should be here. That's not totally true. I feel I actually should be up there with them.
Major: Now you know how I feel most of the time.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: A member of this facility gets kidnapped unchallenged, it's no wonder he doesn't think we can protect him.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: But we can protect him.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Yeah, by locking him away for the rest of his life.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: What can you say? There's a downside to working for supervillains.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: My lungs are burning.
Jack: Well, at least it's a dry heat.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: When I said that I wanted to get the team back together, work with you guys, learn from ya... I did not mean every waking moment for the next 50 years.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: You said that yesterday.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: [blank stare] I did?
Teal'c: [staring at his food] And the day before.
Vala: And the day before that.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Oh... sorry. I'll just... shut up now.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Jack, the markings on the wall are a language. It's a Bible. Uh, no, actually it's more of an instruction book on how to reach this ethereal plane of existence, some kind of other world. It's only natural the Jaffa who found this place would have interpreted it as passage to the afterlife.
Jack: Whoa, slow down there, grasshopper.
Colonel: Sure you got everything?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: You wanna try and reprogram that mine without the proper translation?
Colonel: Thought of a laptop?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Oh, I have one. I just couldn't find Beck's Ancient Phoenician Symbology on CD at Archeology.com.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Menus?
Oma: We don't need them here. Just order what you'd like.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Okay, I'll have the truth with a side order of clarity, please.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: We've been up against some pretty bad guys before.
Major: Uhhh... not so pretty. Overdressed yes.
Colonel: I'd be happy to debrief you all after I've debriefed myself for a nice hot shower.
Major: Permission to shower granted. In fact, I insist on it, Colonel.
Colonel: Bad?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I wasn't gonna say anything.
Dr. Svetlana Markov: The gauge must be malfunctioning.
Daniel: But it's Swiss.
Vala: Oh, now this brings back memories.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: How's that?
Vala: Isn't this where I beat you up?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [defensively] No.
Vala: No, I'm pretty sure that right there is where I crushed your...
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Alright! Excuse me, kids.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: You really want to go, don't you?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: It's Atlantis. It's... everything we've been working for for seven and a half years.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: I know what you mean. Unfortunately, I think General O'Neill has other ideas.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Let me guess, he says he needs you here.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: His exact words were, "Over my dead body."
Jack: Alright, I gotta know.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Yes, I'm about to activate it.
Jack: No, no, no, no. Not that. What the hell does 'Kree' mean?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, actually, it means a lot of things.
Jack: Uh-huh.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Loosely translated it means attention, listen up, concentrate.
Jack: Yoo-hoo?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Yes. In a manner of speaking.
Daniel: Jack, it's not that I mind rejoining SG-1 and exploring the galaxy, meeting new cultures, jeopardy, saving the world, that kind of thing. We get paid for this, right?
Jack: Cronus doesn't know that. And Nirrti doesn't know what else we know.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Which is nothing.
Jack: Right. But she doesn't know we know nothing.
General: What are you suggesting?
Jack: I'm just saying, maybe it's time we take a page out of the Asgard book on dealin' with these Goa'ulds.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: You're gonna bluff.
Major: Wait here.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Yes, you go down the dark hallway alone and I'll wait here in the dark room alone.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, we have a couple of options. Number one, we give up. We use what's left of power and life support to make it to the nearest unoccupied gate world. There's a small chance we'd make it. From there we head to the Alpha site.
Jack: Number two?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: We take off and hope that our radio signal can be picked up by the Asgard in time to inform them that this was a Goa'uld attack disguised as a natural disaster.
Sam: There isn't enough time for that.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I know.
Jack: Is... there a number three?
Sam: There's no three.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, maybe there is. Teal'c, you said Naquadah wasn't native to our solar system.
[Teal'c nods in acknowledgement]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Which means that the Goa'uld must have towed it through hyperspace by ship.
Teal'c: A mother ship.
Sam: Daniel, that's it!
Jack: What's it?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: We don't have a mother ship.
Sam: But the effect only has to last a few seconds.
Jack: What only has to last a few seconds? What?
Sam: Choice three, sir. We expand the ship's hyperspace field to encompass the entire asteroid. We take it out of normal space long enough to avoid the collision with earth.
Jack: [Long pause] Is there a *four*?
Daniel: Can you do me a favor? Could you keep an eye on this plant thing for me?
Teal'c: I will keep both of my eyes on it, Daniel Jackson.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Name's... Olo. Hans Olo.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [Daniel Jackson is seated at a table examining a book and looks up] What the hell are you doing here?
Major: Well, it's nice to see you too.
Jack: If we want to find out who's behind this, we have to do what the Asgard do.
Daniel: You mean bluff?
Jack: Yep. We just need to do it without revealing what we know.
Daniel: Which is nothing.
Jack: Right. But they don't know we know nothing.
[in a scout ship, being questioned by a mothership]
Jacob: All right, we're almost finished. Sam's just finishing up.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Uh, that's good, 'cause I don't think they bought my act.
Jacob: Why? Who'd you say you were?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: The, uh, Great and Powerful Oz.
Jacob: [shouting] Sam!
Dr. Daniel Jackson: It's no question that these bugs were the Priors' follow up to the virus.
Teal'c: And it appears that they were designed to circumvent any attempt to forestall their destructive nature.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Deny them crops and their physiology adapts to an alternate food source.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Yeah, us.
[after making a trick shot in pool]
Big: How the hell did you do that?
Major: You wanna go double or nothing?
Big: No. I think I'll cut my losses.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [chagrined] smart move
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: So, what's the deal with the accent, or in your father's case, the lack thereof?
Vala: Well, the accent, like most of my other good qualities, I got from my mother, my charm, my wit, my good looks.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: What'd you get from your dad?
Vala: Some minor food allergies.
Teal'c: Chelnak!
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Direct translation: Very cool!
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [One of their captors pulls out instruments of torture] You're not a real doctor, are you?
Morgan: You may enter your query verbally, or by entering it manually on the console before you.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I'll speak, if that's all right.
Morgan: Of course, but note for future sessions, manuel input is required for most system interaction.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I think I had her in Grade 5.
Major: This is the sun that Vorash is orbiting. It's a regular main sequence star with a core temperature of about fifteen million degrees and enough hydrogen to burn for another five billion years.
Colonel: Yeah?
Jacob: We wanna blow it up.
Colonel: Wow.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: That's, uh...
Colonel: Ambitious.
[Only Nick can hear or see Daniel]
Jack: Daniel said you should come along to make it work?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Wait, I never said that. You're taking advantage of me.
Nick: Yes.
Major: Would anyone care to speculate how a boy could be aware of our most classified information?
Major: Well, sir, it-it could be him.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: There is a physical resemblance.
Major: But he can't be more than 15 years old. Are you saying Colonel O'Neill has somehow regressed more than 30 years overnight?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Stranger things have happened.
Teal'c: Name but one.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, there was the time he got really old; the time he became a caveman; the time we all swapped bodies...
Burke: Is that that thing that made that guy do that thing?
Dr. Daniel Jackson,: Yeah, it's okay, it's off now.
Jack: Good. That's good.
Dr. Bill Lee: Yeah, at least we think it's off. It's not glowing anymore so...
Dr. Daniel Jackson,: Glowing thing really gives it away, so if it's not glowing anymore it shouldn't be on anymore.
Dr. Bill Lee: [to Daniel] Do you want to hold it?
Dr. Daniel Jackson,: Nope.
[Daniel hops twice sideways away from Lee]
Burke: [laughing madly] That's crazy!
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Wow, this coffee's great!
Samantha: I was just thinking that.
Jack: Yeah, is that cinnamon?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: It's, uh, it's chicory
Jack: [contemplative] Hm, chicory.
[Teal'c unscrews the lid from the coffee pot and drinks the contents]
Samantha: Teal'c?
[He continues to drink as everyone looks, then finishes]
Jack: Isn't that hot?
Teal'c: Extremely.
[the others look shocked]
General George S. Hammond: Just stay on the base. We're going to need to keep an eye on you for the time being.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I feel fine.
Teal'c: As do I, Daniel Jackson.
General George S. Hammond: For someone who just drank a half gallon of steaming hot coffee?
Jack: Right.
[Vala has just healed Daniel with a Goa'uld device]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: You're a Goa'uld.
Vala: No. But I was once a host to one.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Which would explain the naquadah in your blood that lets you use Goa'uld technology.
Vala: And how I can quickly learn to fly this rather primitive ship.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Yeah, so primitive, one would wonder if it was worth the bother.
Vala: Well, in this case it's the size that matters.
[Glances downward]
Vala: Actually, pretty much in every case.
Colonel: Okay. Show me your stuff. Bust me outta here.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I can't.
Colonel: Why not?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I'm not allowed to interfere.
Colonel: You're interfering right now.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: No, I'm not.
Colonel: Yes, you are.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: No, I'm not. I am consoling a friend.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: What if what happened to Lieutenant Astor happens to you?
Colonel: Maybe it'll help Carter. Her brain's worth a lot more than mine.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: You said "Hell," right?
Jack: Well, I'm gonna end up there sooner or later. Might as well check out the neighborhood, huh?
Adria: In our time together I've really come so see in you what draws mother's affection.
Daniel: Affectia what?
Teal'c: Given the dangers we may face, it was decided that we would proceed alone.
Alternate: So if this plan goes FUBAR, we're the only ones to go down with the ship?
[Mitchell indicates that he is right]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [wryly] Well, there's plenty more where we came from, right?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Where are you gonna be?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Seattle.
Agent: How the hell are you gonna get there?
[she gets beamed out]
Agent: Prometheus.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Beats flying coach.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: So, push on blindly then.
Colonel: Blindly, yes. But we still have our slightly heightened sense of smell.
Martouf: The Tok'ra believe that Sokar is about to launch a massive attack against the System Lords.
Jack: Isn't that good news?
Teal'c: The chaotic and feudal disorganization of the System Lords' fragmented rule is a far more vulnerable target than that of one powerful Goa'uld.
Martouf: Especially if that Goa'uld is Sokar.
Jack: He's really that much worse than the others?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Of all the gods he picked to impersonate, he chose the Devil.
Vala: You should give me a weapon.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: No.
Vala: There could be an icky creature down here left to protect the treasure.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: For hundreds of years?
Vala: Some sort of stasis or hibernation. What if it senses our presence and awakens hungry for human flesh?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: That doesn't sound quite like the Ancients' style.
Vala: Still...
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I'm sure if there is a monster down here it's going to be much more scared of you than you are of it. Especially once it gets to know you.
Major: Colonel Jack O'Neill, Major Samantha Carter, Dr. Daniel Jackson, allow me to introduce to you Lieutenant General Vidrine.
General: Colonel.
Colonel: General.
General: Major.
Major: General.
General: Doctor.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: General.
[Daniel asks for a translation over the phone]
Teal'c: "Banished to oblivion."
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Right. Okay, uh, thank you.
Teal'c: If you require assistance, I would be more than happy to return to the SGC.
[O'Neill looks annoyed]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: No, thanks. I-I think I can take it from here.
Teal'c: Are you certain?
Colonel: Give me that!
[takes the phone]
Colonel: Goodbye, Daniel.
[he hangs up, removes the battery and throws it away]
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: I'm just a glass half full kinda guy. We found the cure to the Prior's plague and we got it out to the planets that needed it.
Teal'c: And it has been some time since the last reported outbreak.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: That's right, so I'm chalking that one up to the win column.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Look, all I'm saying is let's just not get carried away. Yes we stopped them this time but you can be damn sure they're already thinking up some other means of spreading fear and destruction through this galaxy.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Yeah, that's why we call 'em the bad guys.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: And by the looks of things the next one's going to be something big. Priors are already starting to step up the rhetoric with all this talk of doomsday when all shall witness the final battle between the light and darkness.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: That's what they said about Tyson-Holyfield. There's always a rematch.
Vala: [sarcastically] I apologize for ever doubting your masterful skills at negotiation.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: He's doing the best he can.
Vala: Yeah, that's what terrifies me.
Jack: We both know you can't stay away.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Then I guess we're both wrong, 'cause I'm gone.
Jack: Give it a week. You'll miss me.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Yes, all the salty, bad-tempered insults, all the illogical arguments...
Jack: Okay, you'll miss Carter and Teal'c.
Harry: You should try one of these. It called, uh...
Garan: Ojun fruit.
Harry: Right. It's sort of a cross between a guava and a mango.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Sort of a "guango"?
Harry: I like that! People, henceforth ojun fruit shall be called guango. So shall it be!
[the people cheer and applaud]
Harry: I get to name all kinds of stuff. You should see the Grateful Dead Burial Ground.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Teal'c, how do Jaffa couples handle their problems?
Teal'c: On Chulak, a dispute between a man and a woman that cannot be resolved necessitates a pledge break. It must be requested by one and granted by the other.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: And if that doesn't work?
Teal'c: A weapon is required.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Yeah it's the book some of the villagers were walking around with, it says on the front um, The Book Origins, blessed are the Ori.
Vala: I think you should take a look at it.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Oh I think I've seen enough, I mean prostration for 6 hours, give us strength, you know it's all very clear.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I agree with Sam. We don't know enough about what happened on that planet, yet.
Colonel: Need I remind you, Dr. Jackson, of the dangers that we're trying to defend Earth against?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [sarcastic] Oh, uh, could you? I mean, go slow.
[the elevator Jack's in has shut down and Daniel has appeared behind him]
Daniel: Jack, Abydos is in trouble. Anubis is on his way. He's after the Eye of Ra. I have that replica Catherine gave me, it looks like this. Now, I'm pretty sure the real one is located in some secret chamber in Ra's pyramid on Abydos, but I'm not sure where exactly. According to legend, there were six eyes including those held by Apophis, Osiris, and Tiamat among others . Each is powerful on its own. Now if you use them in combination it increases that power tenfold. Recently, Anubis has managed to track down five of the six eyes, and only needs Ra's to complete the set. He's looked everywhere Ra used to hang out except Abydos, now he's on his way there.
Colonel: I was sure that was an Asprin I took this morning.
Daniel: Jack it's really me. It's me. You have to help. You have to find the Eye of Ra before Anubis does. I mean keep it, hide it, destroy it, whatever. It doesn't matter. We don't have much time.
Colonel: Hey, Daniel. How you doin'? Long time. How are things in the higher planes?
Daniel: [turns his back on Jack, very aggravated, then turns back around] Hey, Jack. Long time, no see. How-how-how you doin'?
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: [laughing] Relax Jackson, I spent two weeks with these guys. You've got nothing to worry about.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, considering what happened the last time we were here, you'll forgive me if I'm a little cautious.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: We'll be fine.
[the group are being ambushed and captured by Jaffa]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [blade to throat] We still fine?
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Yeah, we're fine.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Good, just checking.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Wait a second. If the stones worked the way Daniel says, shouldn't General O'Neill have been able to see elements of Joe's life, as well?
Daniel: Theoretically, yes he would.
Jack: [to Joe] Bowling league, Thursday nights?
Joe: You saw that?
Jack: You got game, son.
Daniel: Wait a minute. Jack, you've been seeing parts of the life of a barber in Indiana for seven years, and you never mentioned it?
Jack: Yeah, sure I did. I know I did.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: No, no you didn't, sir.
Jack: I didn't?
Daniel: You didn't find it the least bit odd?
Jack: Actually no. I found it quite relaxing.
Vala: Came to see me off? That's sweet.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, we've been through a lot together, and I just wanted to come here myself and make sure you were... thoroughly searched.
Dr. Svetlana Markov: Pushing the engines harder will only burn them out again. Next time I may not be able to fix them.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: And if we stay here we'll run out of air.
Dr. Svetlana Markov: If the pressure keeps increasing at the current rate the sub will implode long before we run out of air.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Or that.
Major: I figure we have maybe an hour.
Dr. Svetlana Markov: I agree. The front bubble will be most susceptible. It will be the first to go.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Err... can we stop agreeing on how we're going to die and start doing something about it?
Jennings: Where the hell did he come from?
Hoskins: He had the wrist device.
Jennings: Any chance there's more of them on board?
Hoskins: It only lets one person up at a time.
Brooks: [Voice filtered through radio] Hoskins, this is Brooks.
Hoskins: Go ahead.
Brooks: The cloak's been disabled. I don't know if I can get it back online.
Hoskins: [Into radio] This position is compromised. We need to get out of here now.
Brooks: Yes,sir.
Jennings: What about them?
Hoskins: We can't take them with us.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I don't mind going for a little ride.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Me neither.
Hoskins: Sorry about this, Dr. Jackson.
Colonel: Take a break. Fraiser says Teal'c needs a little pep talk.
[acts proud]
Colonel: I've been practicing in front of a mirror for an hour.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Not 'peppy' enough?
Colonel: Not really...
[Dr. Jackson nods and gets up]
Jonas: [has just been freed from Anubis' ship by Daniel] Okay, how do we get off this thing?
Daniel: Cargo ship.
Jonas: Which way?
Daniel: [facing three hallways] Uhhhhhhhhhh...
[points at first two before choosing the third]
Daniel: This way!
Jonas: You sure?
Daniel: Nope!
Jonas: Right!
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Hey, has anyone stopped to think how this thing might possibly work? I mean, how do you kill something that's pure energy?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, technically, Merlin's research didn't refer to killing. A better translation would be 'neutralizing' or 'canceling out'.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Well it still begs a lot of questions. How do you aim at something you can't see?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Clearly it can't be a weapon in the conventional sense. See, Ascended Beings transcend ordinary space-time as we know it. This device would have to do the same thing.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: In other words, you have no idea what it might be.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Yeah, pretty much, that's it.
Daniel: I've encountered this script before. It's, uh, similar in pronunciation to a language on our planet called Latin. As near as I can tell, the main body of the text represents a planetary history.
Malikai: I agree... But isn't it time for you to return through the Stargate?
Teal'c: SPOILER: Senator Kinsey seems most displeased.
Colonel: Yeah, well, that's a crying shame.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I just hope we don't regret giving them those gate addresses.
Colonel: I don't think we will... the first one being a black hole, and all. They get progressively darker after that.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [about which System Lords are coming] And the last one is Lord Yu.
Dr. Elizabeth Weir: Yu?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Eh, don't. Every joke, every pun, done to death, seriously.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [a reply to the Ori ships] "Then to Tyolus, say to the people of the low plains, seek not the wickedness amongst your neighbors lest it find purchase in your own house."
Damaris: We are beacons on the road to enlightenment.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: No. You're dark side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Nice work on the metaphor.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Thank you.
Dr. Elizabeth Weir: The President has authorized me to pursue negotiations with the Goa'uld.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Okay.
Dr. Elizabeth Weir: You don't think I can handle it?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I didn't say that, but... if I may, you don't sound all that confident.
Dr. Elizabeth Weir: Well, as you said, I have brokered my share of international negotiations. This will just be my first interplanetary one.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: The System Lords can't be trusted, either as a group, or individuals. They're posturing egomaniacs driven by an insatiable lust for power. Each one capable of unimaginable evil.
Dr. Elizabeth Weir: See? Why should I be nervous? Sounds like an average day at the United Nations.
Jack: You're obviously misreading a basic philosophical difference of opinion on how to handle a crisis.
Daniel: Oh please! We have a-a difference of opinion on just about everything!
Jack: Give me an example.
Daniel: U-u-u, I don't know! Pick something! How - how about - how about mythology!
Jack: Rumors, lies, fairytales.
Daniel: You see! See! See! See! See! See!
[jumps around in a circle in frustration]
Daniel: Mythology is one of the primary motivations for cultural development!
Jack: Maybe it is! What's that got to do with *filming a plant*!
Daniel: Exactly!
Jack: What does *that* mean!
Daniel: I don't know!
[they silently look at each other]
Jack: [calmly] Okay. What was that?
Daniel: I don't know. I don't feel so good.
Jack: I've got a headache.
[Anubis raises his hand to activate the weapon]
Daniel: Stop!
[Her'ak fires his staff weapon at Daniel but the blast passes through him. Anubis rises from his throne]
Anubis: Stop me, if you can.
[Daniel raises his hands and they start to glow]
Anubis: Strike me down! Do it now or I will destroy Abydos!
[Daniel raises his hands higher and directs the energy at Anubis. It appears to be blown back as Anubis raises his hand to defend himself]
Daniel: No! Don't do this!
[Daniel is spirited away. Her'ak looks terrified]
Her'ak: [to Anubis] You are indeed all-powerful, my lord.
Anubis: What you just saw was not my doing.
[Her'ak seems confused. Anubis once again sits down]
Anubis: However, this is!
[he activates the weapon; it focuses on Abydos; a beam of energy is directed at the pyramid]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Vala, this is a military vessel.
Vala: I know, darling. I've stolen it before.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, just try to be, uh...
Vala: My charming self?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Just a little less talk, a little more "shut the hell up".
Jacob: what were you thinking, anyway? Retrofitting a death glider? You should have known better. The technology you're screwing around with is way over your head.
Major: That is the most arrogant... I can't believe that that just came out of your mouth!
Jacob: Well, it's the truth.
Major: You of all people should know.
Jacob: I am uniquely qualified to know just how technologically infantile the human race is.
Major: Infantile?
Jacob: Yes, in comparison with the Goa'uld and Tok'ra, you're very young.
Major: You... you are so...
Jacob: There's nothing wrong with being young, but you've got to learn to take small steps. You can't just slap a US Air Force sticker on the side of a death glider and call it yours. Advancement like that has to be earned.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Um, aren't the Goa'uld, and the Tok'ra, for that matter, where they are by stealing the technology from other races?
Major: Yes!
Jacob: Yes, but the Tok'ra were flying around in ships like these when most of the people on Earth thought it was flat.
Major: [on phone with Daniel] Well, if the DHD could have prevented the problem, maybe the DHD can also fix it. Is there any chance you can get the Russians to give us their DHD?
[Daniel looks in at the negotiations]
Colonel: This is impossible at the moment.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [to Sam] Not without giving back Alaska.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Jack, up until now, every time I set foot through that gate I was thinking about my wife. "Maybe I'll see her this time." "Maybe this is the one." Now, every time I go through, it's - it'd just be some place... where that hope used to be.
Dr. Steven Rayner: As I recall, the last time I saw you, you were giving a lecture to an empty room.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, it was full when I started.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Most cultures on Earth recognize that there's a significant gap between the experiences of men and women. Among the Masai of East Africa, each newly wed man is required to wear his wife's clothing for a month, as a way of gaining insight into her life.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: If only it were that simple.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: The point is, while rituals and customs may vary, almost all cultures put significant pressure on single adults to form bonding pairs. In ancient Persia, if a girl died a virgin, they would go so far as to marry her corpse off before burial.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: That's horrible!
Dr. Daniel Jackson: The groom was usually quite well paid.
[Dr. Weir puts down a file and looks out the briefing room window into the gate room, seemingly in deep thought. Daniel Jackson walks in, notices her gaze at the stargate, waits a moment, then speaks]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Amazing, isn't it?
Dr. Elizabeth Weir: I don't really care!
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Okay.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [Near the end of the episode] Hey, Jack. Did I miss anything?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Shifu. This is General Hammond. He's the leader of this facility.
Major: Welcome to Earth.
Shifu: A spark lights a flame but the candle will only burn as long as the wick.
Colonel: If I may, Sir. I think what he means is the wick is the centre of the candle and ostensibly a great leader like yourself is essential to the whole ball of wax. Basically what it means is, that's it's always better to have a big, long... wick.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: You lied to me.
RepliCarter: What?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: You promised you'd leave Earth alone. There's Replicators infiltrating the SGC right now.
RepliCarter: How can you know that?
[pause]
RepliCarter: While I was in your mind, you were inside mine.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Took a while to figure out, fortunately you were too distracted to notice. Some of the Ancient knowledge really helped too, thank you.
RepliCarter: You tricked me.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: You tricked me first.
RepliCarter: You should never have told me.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Too late. For you that is.
[she attempts to hit him and he grabs her arm]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Trying to leave? Sorry, a little more time in Danny's world.
RepliCarter: My brethren will not stop. You cannot control them.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Not yet. But I'm learning.
Jack: [Testing to see if Machello really is Daniel] All right. Describe for me the dress your sister wore last week when I took her out.
Daniel: I don't have a sister, Jack. And if I did I wouldn't let you near her.
Vala: I never killed anyone, I never tortured them, I was a wonderful god. Just ask them.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I think we will.
Vala: Why? You don't believe me?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: That and I'm not totally convinced they're ultimately going to follow your command, not should that be the only reason they don't follow the Priors.
Vala: I am still supposed to be their god. I can't exactly go out there and ask them if they're going to listen to me.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I wasn't expecting you to.
Vala: What makes you think they're going to tell you the truth? You're supposed to be my faithful servant.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Then I'll sort of explain we're not so faithful as you like to believe and if necessary I'll also tell them we're plotting to kill you.
Vala: I have heard better plans.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: I kinda like it.
Vala: Shut up!
Daniel: [O'Neill's arm has been dislocated during a skirmish with Unas] Uh, if we go back to this planet, you're not comin' with us, are you?
Jack: [looks at his arm] It's doubtful...
Daniel: Yeah, that's too bad. I was kinda hoping you'd take command of the mission...
Daniel: [explains to Major Carter] Colonel Edwards has no experience dealing with the Unas.
Jack: Nor you.
[Daniel ponders this, nods head in submission to valid point]
Jack: He's an ok guy, Daniel. He's just under a lot of pressure.
Daniel: Yeah.
[sigh]
Daniel: Yeah. I- I guess I just spent a lot of time breakin' you in, I just didn't wanna have to start with a new colonel.
Teal'c: You think I'm crazy?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: No, not yet. We just met.
Teal'c: We haven't met before?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: No, no, I don't think so.
Teal'c: I'm sure we have.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, maybe in another life or something like that, you know if you believe in that sort of thing. Some people do.
Apophis: Who are you?
Daniel: Name's Daniel Jackson. Uh, if you give me back my eyeglasses, I could actually see you.
Teal'c: He claims he's of the Tau'ri.
Daniel: You weren't supposed to tell him that.
Apophis: The Tau'ri have no Chappa'ai.
Daniel: Oh! Sorry, guess I was wrong. I'm-I'm sure your information is correct and - In fact, I'm usually quite wrong, quite unreliable actually. I'm - To be honest with you, I'm-I'm insane.
Apophis: Speak!
[pause while Daniel doesn't speak]
Apophis: Bring him.
[Teal'c hauls him forward]
Apophis: I think there is much you can tell me.
Daniel: Well, if you wanna know about the early settlements of Mesopotamia, I am somewhat of an expert...
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: We're surrounded by rock here so there's no way the bugs are digging in. We've got the entrance covered. Everything's going to be fine.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Until we run out of bullets.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I'm confident.
Jack: Me too.
Teal'c: As am I.
Vala: Being stuck on this ship is worse than being stuck at the SGC. I-I-I tell you, the last time I was this bored I took hostages!
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I was there.
Daniel: Jack?
Jack: He's a barber.
Daniel: Broke into your house?
Jack: Yeah.
Daniel: Second week in a row.
Jack: Mmmh-hmm.
Daniel: Alarm.
Jack: I'm thinkin' "dog".
Joe: You could try locking your front door.
Vala: She wanted me to give her a name
Daniel: And?
Vala: Adria. Told her it was my mother's
Daniel: Not?
Vala: Step-mother. Witch of a woman.
Daniel: The more I get to know you, the more I understand.
Vala: What?
Daniel: Nothing.
Heru'ur: Once I have conquered Aphophis I will make slaves of your people.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: No; I don't think so.
Vala: So no IOA? No Reynolds men? No television program about dancing with supposed celebrities?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Actually, that part was real.
Vala: How very disturbing.
Colonel: I'll say it again, I don't like the idea of going into this unarmed.
Colonel: And... I don't care.
Lieutenant: I feel better just knowing there's an archaeologist watching our backs.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [holds up a knife] Yeah, which end do the bullets go in again?
Colonel: I'd be happy to show you.
Dr. Janet Fraiser: There is a tiny abnormality, but for all intents and purposes, it's him.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Tiny abnormality, like the fact he's suddenly quite a few years younger than he's supposed to be?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: The monk is just someone who's sort of taken up a curatorship.
Jack: Kind of a janitor?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: More of a guide.
Jack: An usher?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I'm not a hallucination! I'm real!
Nick: Hallucinations always say that.
Dr. Lindsey Novak: [hiccuping very loudly] Please ignore me.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: It's hard to.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Uh, you should probably prepare to return fire.
Major: For the record, I'm always prepared. I just have to press this button here.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Right... I just-I thought that's what you're supposed to say, so...
Major: I know.
Jack: Weren't we just somewhere else?
Daniel: Where?
Jack: Some planet.
Daniel: When?
Jack: Just now.
Daniel: No.
Jack: Sure?
Daniel: Yeah.
Jack: [Dr. Fraiser has returned Daniel's glasses and he is better able to see] Do you recognize me now?
Daniel: Has your hair always been that way?
Jack: What?
Daniel: Never mind.
Major: What's eight down?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Um...label. With those empty spaces I think the answer is supposed to be identification. Thirteen across is sphere. Jack, this is it.
Colonel: Now, see I assume we still speak the same language...mostly.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Sphere...planet. Label...name.
Colonel: Following...still...you...not!
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Praclarush taonas. I...I think you wrote the name of the planet we will find the Lost City in the crossword.
Colonel: Bit of a jump?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Why else would you do that?
Major: The clue for seven down is "celestial body" and he wrote Uma Thurman.
Colonel: Yes!
Major: The news must have come as a shock to them.
Colonel: Ah, not really.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: What Jack is trying to say is that if they were surprised, they'd never show it.
Colonel: They don't get excited in general, General. It's like an entire planet of accountants.
Guard: This hospital is closed; I'm afraid you'll have to go someplace else.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I said, I think I just electrocuted myself! Do you have any idea what that feels like?
[guard steps out to block Daniel's path]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [shoots guard and bystander with Zat gun] Something like that.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Let me ask you a question. Who would you trust with your life more than anyone else in the world? Don't worry, I won't be offended if you don't pick me. Could it be Teal'c?
Jack: Sure.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Ah, Teal'c, just refresh my memory. What was your previous occupation?
Teal'c: I was First Prime of Apophis.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Right. Did a few nasty things back then?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [about Vala] So you're saying that she could be alive somewhere in the Ori home galaxy?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: It's possible.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, we wanted to send them a message.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Jack, you have to believe me.
Major: Why?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: "Why?" Well, because, oh, I don't know, the fate of the galaxy hangs in the balance.
Major: You know, that old chestnut's gettin' a little... old.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: What year is it?
Captain: 1999 more than likely.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: So this is all a hoax.
Jack: Big hoax. I'd say so.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I have more questions, but that can wait.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: We have got the best jobs in the world, don't we?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: I'm gonna hit the shower.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I'm gonna find a doctor.
Teal'c: We are indeed suitably employed
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Yeah, it was a good day.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I remember when we were first trying to get the Stargate to work, I would come here and just stare at it for hours.
Dr. Elizabeth Weir: Is that a-a gentle reminder that you've been an important part of this since the very beginning?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Subtle, huh?
Kasuf: In the days of Ra, when he returned from a journey, a great storm would blow through the desert.
Colonel: It's just wind. Wind happens.
Major: We're talking about a wind that blew out of an active Stargate.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: And formed a sandstorm.
Kasuf: You forget it said the name Sha're.
Colonel: Ahh, well, it's not like a burning bush or anything.
Kasuf: I have seen many bushes burn.
Colonel: S'pose you have.
Daniel: Jack. Wait up. Um... I was thinking about what you said about, uh, a beam coming out of the altar. SG-15 took digital images of the carvings on the ruins. I was thinking there might be some sort of clue. Unfortunately it's the equivalent of 400 pages of alien text.
Colonel: Looks familiar.
Daniel: It should. It's something that you spoke for a few days. It's a variation of the writings used by the Ancients.
Colonel: If you're lookin' for help translating it, you're barkin' up the wrong genius.
Daniel: No, I realize the Asgards returned you to normal, which is fortunate, I... suppose. But if you give me details about the layout of the ruins it might be...
Daniel: Wait a minute. I thought the reason why we brought the ship was so that we didn't have to walk.
Dr. Samantha Carter: You can't just fly into an alien city. The mission is stealth recon. Meaning undetected.
Jack: Meaning *shut up*!
Daniel: Look, if you guys really are the only ones that are going through this loop, then you're gonna have to remember these things.
[hands a document to Jack]
Jack: [glosses over the document in his hand] Fine! How hard can it be?
[Daniel turns the upside-down document around for Jack]
Major: What's it doing?
Major: Flying, Sir.
Colonel: MALPs can't fly.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Apparently they can.
Colonel: Shouldn't there be a memo on this stuff?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, if they even get a hint of the fact that we can't use the Ancient weapons to defend ourselves, trust me, this game is over.
[pause]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Too dramatic?
Dr. Elizabeth Weir: At this point, not for me.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: This is interesting. This is a-a reference to Merlin's prophetic abilities. There's a-a similar myth on Earth, that Merlin could see the future because he actually aged backwards in time. It's not meant to be taken literally, but we have seen that a lot of legends and folklore have a-a strong basis in fact. Avalon, Atlantis...
Teal'c: The Easter Bunny.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I guess there's a few exceptions.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Ten minutes after that C4 goes this whole mountain is going to explode.
Teal'c: I am aware of that.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: So the fact that we're staying is based upon a completely informed decision.
Teal'c: It is.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Yeah, just making sure.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: We don't know where it is now, but we do know where it was: Giza, 3000 B.C.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: You can't be serious.
Brigadier: What?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: It's the only way.
Brigadier: What?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: No, we agreed.
Brigadier: If I have to say "what" one more time, heads are gonna roll!
Dr. Daniel Jackson: We have a time machine. We can go back and get the ZPM.
Brigadier: She wouldn't let me go back and watch the Cubs win the World Series.
Daniel: Why are you so quick to jump to the conclusion that I'm crazy? I mean I'm dangerous, I'm out of control? It's 'cause I'm kinda acting that way, aren't I?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: So we'd be looking for a needle in a haystack.
Thor: A haystack of infinite size.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: That's big.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: You know when Vala first disappeared, when the Ori gate was destroyed, I refused to write her off. Although the odds were against it, I believed somehow she'd found a way to survive. And it turned out I was right. I want to be right again.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Ugh, the sun is beeping.
Dr. Elizabeth Weir: I've been awake all weekend. I-I... The reality of this is-is-is... It's an adrenaline rush.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Hey, at least I know you have a beating heart!
Ba'al: You didn't think that just by calling out its name, you'd suddenly be able to control it?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I don't know. Name magic is common in most mythologies. To know something's secret name is to steal its power.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: So what are we supposed to do, just start guessing?
Vala: Daryl the dragon.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: How about Smokey?
Teal'c: Perhaps Puff?
Vala: How do we get Arkad to tell us all the pieces of the puzzle?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Oh, that's the easy part. See, we capture him, lock him in a room, and threaten to let Teal'c kill him.
Vala: Genius.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Thank you.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: [re: the number of mission files] No, I'm pretty sure it's 1,263. Pretty sure I've read all the files recently.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Actually, you haven't read 30185.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: 30185. What's that?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: We can't tell you.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: What do you mean, you can't tell me? I have the highest security clearance known to mankind. What is 30185?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: We were sworn to secrecy.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Why even mention it to me if you're not gonna tell me what it is?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Sorry.
Vala: Can you tell me?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Oh yeah, we can tell you.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Well, it has to do with the time that the gate sent us back to 1969.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Well that can't have anything to do with me. I wasn't born until a year later!
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Actually, it was *nine months* before he was born.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: [taken aback] What?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: You hafta remember, it was the sixties.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: C'mon. You have to have known that Jack's always taken an interest in your life.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Jack. O'Neill?
Teal'c: Indeed.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Remember when you were chosen for the 302 program even though you thought you weren't going to get in? How about when you were chosen for SG-1?
Vala: [Giggles] Wait, are you saying that Jack O'Neill is...
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: -my daddy?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: It's all starting to make sense now, isn't it?
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Oh, I'm being punk'd, aren't I?
[Daniel walks into the holding room]
Young: Daniel, will you tell them who I am? Please?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Okay, love to. Who are you?
Major: Welcome back, Dr. Jackson.
Daniel: Thank you. Thank you very much.
Major: You have no memory of who I am?
Daniel: None whatsoever.
Jack: Neither do I, sir.
Waitress: What can I get you?
Colonel: Um, three of the biggest steaks you've got, with everything, rare, and baked potato.
Waitress: You got it!
[She starts to walk off]
Colonel: Excuse me... That was for me!
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Yeah, I'm gonna have three as well.
Colonel: Four?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Four... Four is good, yeah.
Major: Me too, and French fries with mine... oh and a diet soda!
[O'Neill and Jackson give her a funny look]
Major: I like the taste better!
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Daniel, these are VX rockets.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Yeah?
[Danial picks up a cylinder of blue liquid]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: What's this?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Methylphosphonofluoridic acid.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Which is?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Nerve gas.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Okay, putting that back.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: They say Chaka is their leader. They must recognize that he wouldn't leave without them.
Colonel: Daniel, dogs sniff each other's butts, and they're friends for life. We still keep them as pets.
Major: No offense, Daniel, but it's not like you don't have some issues to work out.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Oh, yeah.
Major: Maybe you should talk to someone.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I thought I was.
Vala: You need to tell these people the truth.
Vala: I have a lot of needs, Daniel. But I assure you that is not one of them.
Teal'c: If you do not tell them the truth, we will.
Vala: Yes, and who do you think they are actually going to believe?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Look, commanding these people to obey you and not the Ori is not going to work, especially once that Prior comes back.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: And we do not want to get into a god off. Especially since we know you're not even close.
Vala: Daniel, why don't you let me do it?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I can do it. Just uh, do me a favor. I need some help.
Vala: Okay, what?
Vala: Go to the panel by the rear exit.
Vala: [Vala goes to the rear of the cargo bay] Okay, now what?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Stay there, shut up, and let me finish.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: That still doesn't explain the proximity issue. I mean, if the stone General O'Neill touched was kept here, how was Joe able to see everything that happened to the General off-world?
Daniel: I think he was getting most of it from when Jack was writing up his reports right here on the base. The stone was being stored just a few levels above.
Joe: That's why the stories were so easy to write. It was like someone else had done most of the work for me.
Jack: [disappointed] And you say they all got rejected?
Major: A lot of numbers and letters keep popping into my mind... SG-1, DHD, GDO.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: It sounds like gibberish to me
First: Kelowna will accept nothing less than equal representation.
Eremal: Really? Kelowna is solely responsible for this problem.
First: Need I remind you that the stargate is in our possession?
Tarthus: For the moment.
First: Is that a threat?
Tarthus: It's an assurance that when it comes to the survival of our people, we will do whatever is necessary.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: What, so now you want to go to war? My friends are trying to save your world, and you want to destroy it?
Colonel: Oh, save your breath, Daniel!
[to the Langarans]
Colonel: You folks are done.
First: I don't understand.
Colonel: Well, you see, we actually like the Madronans. They're nice people. And we've decided there's no way we'd subject them to the likes of you. Deal's off. You're toast.
Tarthus: General?
Major: Colonel O'Neill's right. You can stay until we hear back from Jonas and Major Carter.
Colonel: That's what you get for dicking around.
Teal'c: Since it is their planet, is it not we who are the aliens?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Actually, the word alien refers to anything characteristic of a very different place or culture, anything really strange relative from our own perspective.
Jack: Think we call you alien because you're from Chu'lak? Ha.
Teal'c: And yet, knowing what Apophis did to Sha're, would you not trade it all for the opportunity to crush the life from his throat with your bare hands?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, I'd be lying to you if I said I'd never thought about it but that doesn't mean I'd do it, given a more rational option.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [after being captured, Sam and Daniel are interrogated and shown a scan of Teal'c's symbiote] That's very good! Did you draw that yourself?
[pause]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Is that a duck?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: So, how are you gonna get me in?
Jacob: Yu will be among the System Lords attending the meeting.
Major: I thought you said he was going in as a slave.
Jacob: The System Lord, Yu.
Major: Little joke there.
Colonel: [dryly] Funny.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Sorry, didn't mean to wake you.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: No, uh, I wasn't sleeping. I was Kelno'reem-ing. Teal'c taught me the fundamentals.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Did he mention you should remain conscious in the process?
Daniel: Look, all I know is that the place you're searching right now is not it.
Jack: Then, where is *it*?
Daniel: Did I just say, "all I know"?
Jack: Everyone turn away. I want no witnesses.
Vala: Don't worry. I'm not gonna hurt you.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Thank God.
Vala: Much. I hope.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Detonating the largest warhead ever built by man is not exactly the historical footnote I had in mind.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Not to mention the guilt you're going to feel for vaporizing a perfectly good Stargate.
[Gestures to the Prior]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: And that guy.
Vala: Oh, he's probably looking forward to it.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [On the 5000 year old video tape] You see, the thing is, we're not sure we're gonna make it back. Um, the chamber where you discover this tape should be discovered shortly before we're set to leave. Hopefully the timeline hasn't changed at all. Let's see, what are some recent major events. Uh, communism recently failed in Eastern Europe. Um, they should be well on their way towards democracy by now. Henry Hayes is President. What else.
Dr. Samantha Carter: Henry Hayes?
Brigadier: Secretary of the Interior. President Kinsey was less than amused when he saw that portion of the tape.
Teal'c: Sokar is a Goa'uld of ancient times. He was once ruler of the System Lords but was defeated by an alliance of Goa'uld many centuries ago. Apophis and Ra were among his conquerors.
Captain: Where did he go?
Teal'c: Apophis himself believed him destroyed. Obviously, he was mistaken.
Jack: If he was almost wiped out how bad could he be now? It's rhetorical Teal'c.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: His name is also very old in Earth mythology. He was the most feared deity in ancient Egypt, the original god of death.
Jack: Got anything a little more up to date?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I don't know what he has been up to lately but according to the Book of the Dead there was a time he ruled all of Earth. His lands around Memphis were covered by darkness and inhabited by serpents.
Teal'c: Unas. The first host of the Goa'uld.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well that makes sense. If the Unas were the first ones there had to have been a time when both form of Goa'uld host coexisted, Unas and human. Kind of like Neanderthal and human.
Jack: Which is he?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I don't know but his portion of Tuat or "Other World" was filled with lakes of fire where the wicked were thrown into as punishment after torture and mutilation.
Jack: Hell.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Yeah, basically he was the original Satan.
Jack: Well isn't that special.
Gate: [Over the PA system] Incoming traveler.
Jack: Speak of the Devil.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: We're stuck.
Vala: No we're not. Well, when we fail to make the scheduled check in, General Landry will dial in, at which point we'll ask him to send a naquadah generator and a laptop with a dialing program and that's that!
Dr. Daniel Jackson: We knew that! I thought that when I said that we're stuck, that you would know that I meant "until then."
Vala: Well, then you should say what you mean.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I don't think you want me to start doing that.
Vala: I don't think you want to start thinking what I think.
Oma: [talking about ascension] Many roads lead to the great path. Only the willing will find their way.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Okay, well I'm willing. So let's go. I mean, you know, do your thing. Glow me.
Daniel: They're getting something we want, we're getting something we want.
[repeated lines]
[decoding and translating text in successive iterations of the loop]
Daniel: Okay, this section of the text seems to deal primarily with their arrival on P4X-639...
Major: So, has it occurred to anyone that we're defying a direct order?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, it's not like we haven't defied orders before.
Major: Well, yeah, but that was to save Earth.
Colonel: Earth. Steaks. There's a difference?
Jack: [Jack and Daniel are in the infirmary. They have just had a major argument on a planet] Listen I, uh...
Daniel: No, no. Um... sorry, you were gonna say...
Jack: No, it's just that, uh... Well... you know...
Daniel: No I know, I know. I know. You know that I...
Jack: I know. It's obvious there's something...
Daniel: Something, something wrong with us.
Jack: Physically!
Janet: [enters] Well, there's nothing wrong with you.
Daniel: What?
Janet: Well, I've run every test I could, short of exploratory brain surgery and you're both in perfect health.
Jack: Huh.
[in the Farscape sequence]
Vala: [as Aeryn Sun] Call me fahrbot, but they're gonna have our mivonks on a platter if we don't Starburst the draz out of here.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [as Crichton] The cluster's been damaged. We're not goin' anywhere.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: [as Chiana] Oh, dren.
Teal'c: [as Ka D'Argo] Hezmana!
Vala: [as Aeryn Sun] Frell.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: [as Stark] Son of a hasmot!
Asgard: [as Dominar Rygel XVI] Yotz!
Dr. Daniel Jackson: So, Teal'c, who are they?
Teal'c: My knowledge of the Goa'uld Moloc is limited. However, I am unaware of any Goa'uld who would permit his women Jaffa to be warriors.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: They seem to be well trained.
Teal'c: All females receive training. They are expected to defend their home world with their lives if their men are called to battle.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I can't help but think of the ancient Greek amazon mythos.
Colonel: Yes. Me too.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: They were female warriors who occasionally captured men from other tribes in order to mate with them. Would often, um, would sometimes remove their right breasts so they could more easily fire a bow and arrow.
Colonel: I see neither bow nor arrow.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: No.
Colonel: Wait, you don't s'pose that's why they want us, do you? You know, the three of us.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: To... to mate with? No, no, I don't think so.
Colonel: 'Cause you know me, I'm all for helping people.
Major: [incredulously] Oh, God.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Teal'c's like one of the deepest people I know. I mean, he's *so* deep. Go on, t-tell them how deep you are! You'll be lucky if you understand this.
Teal'c: [lifts one eyebrow] My depth is immaterial to this conversation.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Ooh! See?
Colonel: No more beer for you.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, maybe you could try coming up with something better than inappropriate sarcasm.
Jack: You want sarcasm? Nice to meet you.
Dr. Sarah Gardner/Osiris: Where is my brother, Setesh?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Uh, you mean Seth? Uh, he's dead. We, uh, we killed him.
Dr. Sarah Gardner/Osiris: You lie.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: No. No, we also killed Ra, uh, and Hathor, and, uh, who else? Um, Sokar.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Mind if I ask what you need trinium for?
High: Trinum is combined with a number of elements to create a compound that is used in various Tollan technologies.
Colonel: Do you people practise being vague?
[repeated lines]
[the time loop resets]
Daniel: [to Jack O'Neill eating Froot Loops] Anyway, I'm sorry, but that just happens to be how *I* feel about it. What do *you* think?
[the Tok'ra have showed up with a box]
Anise: You may call me Anise.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Anise?
Anise: It means "noble strength".
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Um, I'm Daniel. It means, uh, "God is my judge".
Colonel: I'm Jack. It means...
[gestures at the box]
Colonel: What's in the box?
Colonel: [Having just found Marduk dead in a sarcophagus] What about this writing? Any mention of a back door?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: No. This portion of the text deals with the final fate of Marduk.
Colonel: I think we know the final fate of Marduk.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, apparently, he was such an evil tyrant that his own priests rebelled against him. They sealed him in the sarcophagus and placed some thing in there with him. There's no direct translation for the word, but I'm assuming it's a reference to the creature that ate him.
Major: Are you saying he was eaten alive?
Colonel: The sarcophagus would have done its best to continually keep him alive, so... it probably would have taken a while.
Lieutenant: Bozhe moy!
Colonel: Okay, that's officially the worst way to go.
Brigadier: I didn't let you go in the first place. What makes you think I'm gonna change my mind?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Because...
Brigadier: Can you try to do better than that?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Because they're going to need somebody who can translate Ancient. I'm the most qualified person left on the planet for the mission.
Brigadier: Which is exactly why you're gonna stay right here.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [desperately] Because I'll quit!
Brigadier: Why don't you just hold your breath? You haven't done that in a while.
Daniel: Is that my stuff?
Jonas: You weren't using it anymore.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Yep, I'd say you're stuck alright. Oh come on, Sam, you've been running the same diagnostic program for four hours now, what makes you think the results are suddenly going to change? Sa-am, Hello-o!
Major: Were you this annoying when you were ascended?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I dunno, depends on who you ask. I thought I had a certain je ne sais quoi. Timing was so-so.
Major: No offense, but I really don't have time for this. This is ridiculous, you aren't even real.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, I'm not so much me, as I am... you, really. Part of your subconscious mind. So, am I real? That's up to you, I guess. Although the Socratic implications are quite fascinating.
Major: Daniel...
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Look, you just need some help, that's all. Can't you just try to go along with this?
Major: You're me, talking to me.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Yeah, basically.
Dr. Sarah Gardner: You know, I must have read everything you've ever published.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Everything?
Dr. Sarah Gardner: Yes.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: What a waste of time.
Teal'c: Have I not conducted myself as a typical member of this community?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [nods] Mhm... No.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [to Teal'c about Vala] Okay, just to clarify, when I kill her, I die.
Aris: Dr. Jackson, if you don't mind treating my wound.
Daniel: I'm an archaeologist.
Aris: I know, but you're also a doctor.
Daniel: Of archaeology.
Dr. Rodney McKay: [to Hammond] I give this no more than a 50/50 chance of working.
Lieutenant: According to the tape, it worked for eight years.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Hm.
Daniel: [wormhole is established] Wow.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Well, I'm certainly glad it's not me going through that... um... thing.
Jack: Any idea what to expect?
Dr. Samantha Carter: Not really. According to the tape, we're going to be de-molecularized, transmitted over two thousand light-years through subspace, and then, uh, remolecularized on the other side.
Major: I did not need to know that.
Jack: OK.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Gateship 1, you're go for launch.
Jack: Gate ship?
Daniel: [with hand gesture] Well, it's a ship that goes through the gate.
Jack: [somewhat reluctantly] Alright.
Dr. Rodney McKay: [to Hammond] What? It's a ship that goes through the gate. Gateship.
[pause]
Dr. Rodney McKay: Well, I thought it was clever.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I got it! I made the connection. Sir Gawain to Gwalchmei, Culhwch, and Olwen. Verus Gen Bree.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: [to Cameron] And you say *I'm* hard to understand.
Jack: Hey, if you'd been listening, you'd know that Nintendos pass through everything.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I heard.
Jack: Everything.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: [talking about a firefight in an office] Witnesses?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: One. Some guy who was working overtime, spent most of the firefight under his desk, but was able to provide the descriptions of three individuals: big, tattooed, chain mail pants.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: So it's either our Jaffa, or KISS is back on tour.
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