Top 30 Quotes From Edna Krabappel

Edna: [to Bart, after he revealed the situation] No matter what you've done, I always thought there was a spark of decency in you, Bart Simpson, but I was wrong. I never thought I'd say this to a child, but you are bad on the inside.

Edna: You made a dummy of me?
Bart: I use it to workshop my pranks.

Edna: skinner ive moved on r romance is iin the history books and there is nothing left worth highlighting.

Bart: You need to go out once in a while. When was the last time you washed your hair?
Edna: Two weeks ago.
Bart: That's better than me, but you still need to go out.

Nelson: [Sprays Gatorade on Mrs. Krabappel after a dogeball game]
Edna: Hey! I'm not the coach!
Nelson: I know... I just wanted to see if you were wearing a bra.
Edna: [Put a hand to her chest and smile at Nelson]

Bart: I need someone to dance with so I can zing my sister.
Edna: All right, but you'll have to do your homework. Just kidding. I've given up on you long ago.
Bart: Just move your girdle, Yertil.

Edna: So I get paid to do nothing all day?
Principal: I'm afraid it's not that simple.
Superintendent: Who's in charge of this meeting, Skinner?
Homer: [whispers to Marge] I thought I was.

[Skinner hands Edna Krabappel an ice cream cone]
Mrs. Krabappel: Oh Seymour, you shouldn't have. It's going to go straight to my thighs.
Principal: Well Edna, it just might have some company.

Ned: One cran bran for the Flan man.
Bart: Here you go.
Edna: What did he ask for?
Bart: Beats me. I just gave him a banana.

Edna: Today, we're going to read about Washington crossing the Delaware.
Nelson: I'd rather see Bart's mom in her underwear.
Edna: The British side was under the command of General Howe.
Nelson: I give Bart's mom a general wow!
Bart: Stop that, she's my mom!
Nelson: Keep-away with Bart's mom!
[Throws calendar to Milhouse]
Milhouse: Oh, Mrs. S. You can tuck me in anytime.
Bart: [Aims slingshot at Milhouse] Okay, buddy. Lower the eyebrows, nice and easy.
[Milhouse lowers one eyebrow]
Bart: Now the other one.
[Milhouse lowers the other eyebrow, but then raises it again; Bart hits him with slingshot]
Milhouse: Ow! It's stuck! Now I'll have a quizzical expression all day.
Nelson: I'd like to get quizzical with Bart's mom.
[Bart tackles Nelson and they fight]

Edna: Bart Simpson. What would your father say if he knew what you were doing?
Bart: He'd say, "I'm a grown man who's scared of my son."
Edna: I find that hard to believe.
Bart: Oh yeah? Look.
[points to Homer]
Homer: [writing "I'm a grown man who's afraid of his own son" on chalkboard] How many more, sir?
Bart: Fill the board, then wash my car.
[Tosses set of keys at Homer]
Homer: But these are my keys!
Bart: What was that?
Homer: My keys... ter is ready for another whooping, sir.

Bart: Make me write something on the chalkboard a thousand times.
Edna: We all got tired of that chalkboard years ago.

Edna: You're darn lucky to have Ned Flanders as a neighbor.
Ned: Language.
Homer: Yeah, language.

Edna: Bart, you had a month to do that assigment. You started thirty minutes ago.
Bart: Thank you, thank you.
Edna: That wasn't a compliment. You have crushed my dreams of teaching ever since I saw "To Sir With Love" as a little girl.
Nelson: Ha-ha! You're old!
Edna: It was on VHS in the '80s.
Nelson: Outdated medium. I stand by my "Ha-ha!"

Edna: Honey, I know you feel guilty that you cold-cocked Homer.
Ned: Please don't say that word in bed.

Principal: It's not like the Who to be tardy. I'm worried.
Edna: [hearing music in the distance] What's that?
Captain: [looking outside with a sextant] Argh! 'Tis the Who! By my reckoning, they're in the scurvy depths of New Springfield!
Moe: Homer stole our rock performance. That fat, dumb, and bald guy sure plays some real hardball.
Sideshow: Who's ready to riot?

Mrs. Krabappel: I don't have to worry about leaving you alone because I have a spy.
Milhouse: You promised you wouldn't tell!
[Everyone turns to Milhouse]
Milhouse: Which you didn't do. I guess we'll never know who the Milhouse is.

Bart: Hey wait a minute, man. You don't have to leave just because Superintendent Chalmers tells you to. You've spent your whole life following orders. From your mother, the army, Superintendent Chalmers. For once in your life, stand up for yourself, man.
Principal: Okay, Bart.
Mrs. Krabappel: Let's go, Seymour.
Principal: Okay, Edna.

Bart: You shouldn't be punished for something I did. You should just go unpunished forever.
Edna: Half-assed apology accepted.

Edna: In all my years of teaching, I've never raised my hand at a student.
Homer: But you learned. You grew.
Marge: Homer! You never strike a child. Just leave the crust on their sandwiches. They'll get the message.

[Bart is about to destroy the school with a tank]
Edna: [monotonous and indifferent] No, stop, think of the children.

Lisa: In the Swedish public schools, the students grade the teachers on their performance...
Principal: Outstanding notions! Each more implementable than the last.
Edna: It's a shame you can't stay to discuss them. Here's your schedule for the day.
Lisa: [looking it over] "Photo op helping kindergartners take off snow boots", "move the brushfire hazard needle". Um, shouldn't I stay here and work on school policy?
Principal: Lisa, you were elected to be seen and enjoyed. Don't hide your light in a smoky back room, making dusty old decisions.
Lisa: [giggling happily] Well, I am proud of my light.
Principal: But just in case you want to do any more thinking, I'm proud to present you with an official key to the study hall. Use it anytime you like.
Lisa: You mean I can come to the school after hours, weekends, even during the summer?
Principal: Yes, it's like you're Harry Potter without the magic and wonder. Just sign these authorization forms, and you can be on your way.
[she does so, and he leads her out]
Principal: [chuckling] That little girl should learn to read things before she signs 'em.
Lisa: [coming back] Excuse me? I was wondering if I should read what I just signed.
Principal: Oh, it's just standard key release boilerplate.
Lisa: [leaving] Okay.
Principal: Boy, she'll believe anything.
Lisa: [coming back again] Key release boilerplate? I find that very hard to believe.
Principal: Mm-hmm, and yet there it is.
[ushering her out]
Principal: I'll just lock this door.
Lisa: [coming back yet again] Boy, this key opens everything.

Superintendent: Now to turn on this malfunctioning air conditioner.
[White clumps fall out of air conditioner]
Edna: Is that ice?
Superintendent: No, spider egg sacs.
[Spiders hatch and crawl into mouth of sleeping man]
Superintendent: He's a science teacher. He'll know what to do.

Lisa: Nelson, you're running for president?
Nelson: I'm not saying I have all the answers, but I do have all the answer *keys* to every test.
[students clamor around him]
Nelson: [passing them out] Fractions? Dinosaurs? Foreign money? The first Thanksgiving?
Edna: Nelson, what are you doing?
Nelson: Real estate license exam?
Edna: [taking it] My ticket to freedom!
Lisa: [dismayed, as the students all start chanting for him] I'm doomed.

Edna: I'm proud I dated all those men.
Comic: [shouting from outside the window] I still wear your bra!
Edna: Maybe not proud. I'm stuck with it.

Edna: Only one way to get rid of her: the nuclear option.
Homer: How much plutonium do you need? I must warn you, it might take me twenty minutes to get it.

Milhouse: Mrs Krabappel? How will we know if we fall in love?
Mrs. Krabappel: Don't worry children. Most of you will never fall in love, but will marry out of fear of dying alone!

Edna: Okay, now who can pick out the predicate in this sentence?
Homer: Ahhh!
Edna: What is it now, Bart?
Bart: Night terrors.
Homer: Ahh! Cobras!

Edna: Aww, that is the most romantic thing I've ever heard... which is kind of sad when you think about it.

Principal: Edna, control your student. He's ruined more school assemblies than the sun in the northern window.
Edna: I tried, but he's uncontrollable. Frowny stickers mean nothing to him.