150 Best Emily Procter Quotes

[going through evidence]
Calleigh: Nasal mucus... and it isn't even my birthday.

Calleigh: I think it's a good thing that you can't leave.
Holly: I know
[with a grimace]
Holly: This place is like prison.
Calleigh: [Chuckling, while looking around at the lushious surroundings and laughing people] Trust me, it's nothing like prison.

Horatio: You're saying she married for love?
Calleigh: I know. Wonders never cease.

[during an autopsy]
Calleigh: What is that? Some kind of insect?
Alexx: It's an ant.
[to the corpse]
Alexx: Girl, you need an exterminator.

Calleigh: What have you got?
Lieutenant: Nothing. Not a pen, not a piece of paper, not a paper clip, nothing. Who travels with an empty briefcase? That's odd, right?

Calleigh: No wonder Jason recanted his story. He must've been terrified of his father.
Jesse: You're so sure it was Mathew Sloan?
Calleigh: Yeah. I mean, he did shoot somebody this morning.
Jesse: I was there, Calleigh. Look, you've seen this guy's file. Before today, I mean, this guy's done everything, everything he can to get his life back together. I mean, first this Darren Ripley guy takes his money, but he couldn't find any recourse for that. Then he gets a TRO thrown at him for making harassing phone calls in the middle of the night. The guy works two jobs. That's when he's off. Hey, you've worked doubles before. How many times have you gotten off work, you called somebody not realizing what time it was?
Calleigh: Once or twice.
Jesse: And the medication that you found in the van, he was taking that so he could see his kid. That guy did not beat his son.

Calleigh: French lace - from the window at the Moreno house. It's also used on high-end toupees. It gives a more natural look to the hairline.
Tim: Lace on a rug.
Calleigh: Un-huh.
Tim: Well, shoot me if it comes to that.

Calleigh: Wow, I think I should dump Tox and get into DNA.

Calleigh: That's not fair. Why do you get to go?
Eric: Because I was there when Horatio ordered the helicopter.
Calleigh: But if you're going to search the whole city by air, don't you need an extra set of eyes?
Eric: We're just working Zellar and Davis' comfort zones. Thermal viewer.
Calleigh: The body is cold by now.
Eric: Well, thermal viewer can detect vegetation distress caused by proximity to a decaying cadaver.
Calleigh: I expect pictures.

Calleigh: That smells good.
Eric: What, cafe Cubano? Put some hair on your chest.
Calleigh: Don't you just say the sweetest things.

Calleigh: Only tool marks will tell.

IAB: Receptionist, two techs unaccounted for.
Lieutenant: Sounds like Danielle. Who are the techs?
IAB: Ben Perkins, Sara Clark.
Lieutenant: Okay, put 'em up in the elevator. Let's see how he did it.
Ryan: I'll check into it.
Lieutenant: Calleigh, how are we doing on the surveillance footage?
Calleigh: The system's web-based, so we had to disable it to blind the hostage-taker from seeing what we were doing.
Dave: We should have it back up soon.
Lieutenant: All right, so we comb the footage; lobby, reception, parking lot. See if we can get an ID.

[first lines]
Natalia: Hey, Calleigh.
Calleigh: Hi!
Natalia: I'm sort of surprised to see you. I thought you'd be taking a personal day.
Calleigh: Why's that?
Natalia: Well, didn't Eric get out of the hospital yesterday?
Calleigh: Yeah, he did. The department lawyers have advised that he and I not have any contact until the investigation into the armory shooting is closed.
Natalia: Well, you at least got a chance to tell him that you didn't try to shoot him on purpose, though, right?
Calleigh: But I did shoot at him. He was a suspect fleeing an active crime scene.

Calleigh: Let's suppose it's Lloyd the stepdad. Do we have any evidence to support that?
Jesse: Well, you mentioned he had a broken arm.
Calleigh: Yeah. Hospital said the boy suffered a distal radius fracture two weeks ago.
Jesse: Well, Mathew lost custody. Hasn't been allowed to see his kid in three weeks. So he's not responsible for that.
Calleigh: That's true. You know, what if this didn't happen the first time? What if the broken wrist is a result of repeated abuse?
Jesse: Do it hard enough often enough, you get a radius fracture. It's the stepdad.
Calleigh: Mm-mm.
Jesse: What? Well, what are you thinking?
Calleigh: Look at the size of the bruises.
Jesse: All right, what about it?
Calleigh: Well, these pictures are to scale. You're roughly the same size as Lloyd. Put your hand next to it.
Jesse: [doing so] My hand's bigger than the bruise.
Calleigh: Your hand is bigger than the bruise. Whoever jerked this kid around had a smaller hand.
Jesse: Like a woman's. Someone's gotta talk to that poor kid.

Calleigh: Is everyone out?
IAB: We don't know. We're doing a head count right now.
Calleigh: You got any idea who these guys are?
IAB: Well, witnesses say it's one guy barricaded in Firearms with the hostages. Where were you when it happened?
Calleigh: I was in the locker room. I heard it, I couldn't see it.

Calleigh: Who exactly owns this place?
Eric: Deed is in the name of a living trust with no named beneficiary. It's untraceable.
Calleigh: Looks like old money. Not exactly warm and cozy.

Alexx: Whoa. Found something else that might belong to the bad guy.
Calleigh: Three-eighty Beretta Tomcat.
Alexx: That's what I like about criminals: not the brightest. Leaving the murder weapon at the scene. That's good.
Calleigh: Unless it's not the murder weapon.
Alexx: Why is that?
Calleigh: It's fully loaded.
Alexx: Maybe there was one in the chamber.
Calleigh: [checking the chamber] Well, the only way to tell for sure if this is the actual murder weapon is to find the bullet and the casing.
Alexx: Then start looking. 'Cause we've got a through and through.

Eric: [about one of their victims] You know, Calleigh, this guy's Russian mob, too.
Calleigh: How can you tell?
Eric: These Russian mob tattoos, they read like a criminal résumé. The cat on his chest - that means he was a thief.
Calleigh: I always forget that you're half Russian.
Eric: Yeah. I went through a phase when, uh... I wanted to learn about Russia and my family's history. Didn't always like what I found.

Walter: Hey.
Jesse: Hey.
Walter: Gang's all here.
Calleigh: Did your John Doe come through here?
Jesse: Yeah. This is, uh, where he met the guy that shot at him with the flare gun.
Calleigh: All right, so at some point, all three of our victims passed through here. Do you recognize this girl?
Jesse: Or him?
Walter: How about this guy?
Ricky: Hundreds of people party here every day, every night, man. It gets crazy. I don't remember those two guys, but it doesn't mean they weren't here. But her? Her, I remember.
Calleigh: Really? Why?
Ricky: She was a pain in my ass. Out-of-her-mind drunk; had to give her the boot.

Frank: Laundry system's almost fully automated.
Calleigh: Well, that would explain why she wasn't found until the end of the cycle.
Frank: Yeah. You know, any evidence from our killer on her was in that washer's gotta be destroyed.
Calleigh: There's actually a debris collector on the side.
[retrieving it and taking items out]
Calleigh: It's for large items so that it doesn't mess up the plumbing. Got a sock... sunglasses... money, Chapstick. There's a lot of stuff in here. Could be from our killer, could be from our victim.

Calleigh: Damn!
Ryan: Everything OK?
Calleigh: My firearms proficiency is up. Six months goes by fast.
Ryan: Well, you left firearms. So it's not such a big deal is it?
Calleigh: I like to stay current.

Garrett: You can't prove I didn't touch that rope somewhere else. Someone could have stolen it from my shed.
Natalia: No, we know that you strangled her, because we have DNA that proves it.
Calleigh: Okay, here's the thing: you're going to go away for Hannah Wilcox's murder, there's no doubt about it. There isn't a jury in the world that is going to find any sympathy for a corporate executive who's killing for a profit sheet.
Natalia: And you're not going to last one day in prison, because executives are right down there on the food chain with pedophiles.

Calleigh: You can spot a Glock cartridge from a block away: rectangular firing pin impression, breach face shear. This casing's no Glock. It isn't your Chief's weapon.
Warrick: [holding up an evidence baggie] Well, whoever this guy is, he's a lousy shot.
Calleigh: Five casings, no hits.

Ian: [after Ryan dismisses him] You aware that Al Capone was brought down by an accountant?
Calleigh: [Staring at Ian, the CSI accountant] Are you bragging, or do you have something?

Ryan: So, we found coveralls and a tool belt stashed on the top of elevator. I'm guessing that's where he also put his motorcycle helmet and his weapons.
Calleigh: Okay. This is what he looks like in the lobby. Unfortunately, we still don't have a good look at his face, and the Firearms camera was knocked out before we could get a look at him.
Ryan: [looking at the logbook] I got a Ted Wells who checked in at 8:23 a.m.
Calleigh: No, that's not gonna do us any good. That's the same alias that he gave Horatio. You know what? I'm gonna backtrack and see if we can figure out how he got here.
[rewinding the surveillance video]
Calleigh: He drove himself. All right. That means the van's probably still in the parking lot.
Ryan: That's great. I'll grab somebody and head over there. By the way, Ted Wells has been checking in all week. That's probably how he snuck all the weapons into the lab.

Calleigh: Your turn! I jumped the dumpster at Joe's Stoned Crab. I'll help you.

Calleigh: French lace. From the window at the Moreno house. It's also used in high-end toupees. Gives a more natural look to the hair line.
Tim: Lace on a rug?
Calleigh: Mmm-hmm.
Tim: Shoot me if it comes to that.

Calleigh: Great! So we're working together on this one.
Peter: You called, Cal.
Calleigh: For an expert opinion. Do not try and big foot my case.

Calleigh: They where cookin'. Donna Karan size two, daughter too young, ex-wife size ten.

Calleigh: Tripp said you put out a BOLO on a young lady.
Lieutenant: Have we found her?
Calleigh: We found her car in the Glades. Apparently, there's blood at the scene.
Lieutenant: Okay, so let's go back to the scene and turn over every rock.
Calleigh: You want to work it as a murder?
Lieutenant: I'm trying to prevent one.

Eric: [about an ex-girlfriend] You remember Gloria?
Calleigh: [fondly] Oh, the crazy one.

Calleigh: I'm wondering if someone could point me in the direction of Lieutenant Fred Dorsey. He's in Special Investigations Unit.
Larry: How about I point you to my unit, and you can work the night shift with me?
Jesse: I'm sure your wife would take issue with that, Parker.
Larry: You science guys. Always the buzzkill.
Jesse: [Parker leaves] Sorry about that. They're stuck in the Stone Age.

Lieutenant: Take a look at this.
Calleigh: [inspecting an entry wound] Looks like a medium caliber. Maybe a .32 or a .38.
Lieutenant: And the bullet may still be lodged in the fuselage. Do you think we could find it?
Calleigh: Does Elvis wear a white jumpsuit?

Horatio: I don't see any blood.
Eric: Human body has eight pints. It should be all over the floor.
Calleigh: She couldn't have been killed here.
Eric: We've got to find the original crime scene.
Horatio: Yes, we do. Before our killer kills again.

Horatio: [gunshots] Nice Shot.
Calleigh: Hey
Horatio: Are you busy?
Calleigh: Oh, I'm up to my ass in alligators.
Calleigh: There was a big shooting on the causeway yesterday. 54 expended rounds, not to mention Detective Hagen is riding me like a Gulfstream Park pony.

Calleigh: [hands Eric a pistol recovered from a pawn shop] Pawn-shop owner said he wiped it down before he planned to move it. Nobody wants to buy a dirty gun.
Eric: There's pawn-shop clean - and then there's CSI clean.

Dr. Keith Winters: We keep a computerized log of every procedure. Now, after Sara's death, Carlos suggested that we... erase the record, and I refused. Unfortunately, doctor-patient confidentiality prevents me from showing you anything without a warrant.
Calleigh: [handing said warrant to Dr. Winters] Oh, here you go. Be careful. The ink's still wet.

Calleigh: Well, I know that this sounds terrible, but... let's hope he cut her to the bone.

Calleigh: Why'd you leave ATF?
Detective: Because you guys blew my cover. I couldn't do that anymore.

Eric: [finding the victim strung upside down] Never seen a body this pale before. There's no blood in it.
Calleigh: It's very difficult to remove blood from a body if the heart's not beating, so more than likely, she was alive when this happened. Dispatch said an anonymous male called this in?
Eric: Yeah, anonymous male caller.
[looking closer]
Eric: Take a look at this. This is weird. She's got two puncture wounds in her neck. They're not from a needle. Those are bite marks.
Calleigh: Bite marks?
Eric: Yeah.
Calleigh: I hate Halloween.

Calleigh: This is interesting.
Jesse: [taking a sheet of paper] The wife filed a petition for sole custody of her son three weeks ago.
Calleigh: The Arringtons didn't say anything to me about it.
Jesse: Sole custody on what grounds?
Calleigh: It says "Pursuant to the minor's affidavits in family court." You know, the boy, Jason... he had a cast.
Jesse: Well, papers concerning a minor are usually sealed.
Calleigh: Well, let's figure out a way to open them.

Ryan: Your parents trust fund. It's a matter of public record.
Calleigh: There's a morals clause in there that says if you stay clean and sober until you're 21, you get this.... Breakwater Key.
Ryan: That's a whole island, isn't it? Wow. My parents are leaving me their lawn mover.

Rick: You couldn't provide a description of the suspect.
Calleigh: [firearms expert] He was carrying a Smith and Wesson .459 wood-grain grip with an adjustable rear sight *at my head*, Rick!

[reviewing a sex tape belonging to their victim's neighbors]
Tim: Now, that's different.
Calleigh: Someone's been doing yoga.

Dr. Alexx Woods: You're not even going to ask me why she'd slip Dennis eyedrops?
Calleigh: I'm a lawyer's daughter. I don't ask a question that I have the answer to.

Lieutenant: Listen, I'm going to run down our rapist's cellmates, phone records, and visitors. See what he's got in his back pocket.
Calleigh: Okay. I've got some shoe prints that might be able to help us. I'll show you when you get back.
Lieutenant: I'm not coming back anytime soon.
Calleigh: You're not?
Lieutenant: Tomorrow is Shaw's parole hearing. If it goes his way, they're going to crack those gates immediately.
Calleigh: Yeah, and you want to be there.
Lieutenant: With enough evidence to put him right back in.
Calleigh: Okay. Working as fast as we can.
Lieutenant: Take care.

Creepy: Come on, Blondie, flash me.
Calleigh: [turns to reveal badge and gun] That hot enough for ya, or do you want to see my gun permit?

Paula: False imprisonment?
[scoffs]
Paula: I should have put her on the slow boat to Haiti when I had the chance.
Calleigh: What you should have done is treat her with basic human dignity.
Paula: [indignantly] While she sneaks out for nooky with the local drug dealer?
Calleigh: [to officer] Cuff her, please.
Paula: [trying to fight the officer off] Get your hands off of me!
Calleigh: All right! Look, lady, if you do not get into that car without further incident, then I am *happy* to add resisting arrest to your rap sheet.
Paula: Remember, I pay your salary.
Calleigh: [walking Olsen to the car] Then I deserve a raise.

Calleigh: [noticing a GSR stain on Tripp's pants] Did you fire your weapon today?
Sgt. Frank Tripp: No. Why?
Calleigh: You're glowing.

Detective: Where have you been?
Calleigh: I took a drive, got some fresh air... apprehended an escaped felon.

Eric: Leave it to you, Calleigh, to find something good to come out of a hurricane.
Calleigh: They do alleviate global warming.

Calleigh: I really appreciate you asking me to help with the case, Horatio.
Lieutenant: What do you see?
Calleigh: Well, the car's been underwater, so we're not gonna find any usable prints, fibers, or hairs. Front end's damaged.
Lieutenant: [opening the driver's side door] The airbag is deployed. Could that have happened when the car went in the water?
Calleigh: No. I don't think so. I've got transfer here, and you don't get transfer from water. It looks like the car came into contact with steel or maybe concrete.
Lieutenant: Okay, so that means someone crashed it before it went in the water. Don't we need propellant to inflate the bag?
Calleigh: The impact will ignite the propellant, and that generates the gas that fills the airbag. It basically works like the primer of a gun.
Lieutenant: And just like a gun, wouldn't there be explosive material on the driver?
Calleigh: Yeah. Wow, I never even thought about that.
Lieutenant: Calleigh, when I was back with the bomb squad, we used to do the Greiss test for nitrites. Why are you smiling?
Calleigh: Because this is what I was hoping it would be like when I got here.
Lieutenant: Me, too.

[Calleigh catches Hank Kerner at gunpoint]
Calleigh: Drop the gun. Get down on the floor.
[Hank tries to move]
Calleigh: Uh-uh. There are two ways this goes down. Either way, you're dropping the gun.
Hank: If I give up now, I go to the chair.
Calleigh: Ten years of appeals, or you can go right now.

Calleigh: They blocked off the causeway. How do you expect to get through?
Ryan: That's why I got the brass pass!

Horatio: Nice work. Have you considered a transfer to S.W.A.T.?
Calleigh: I don't look good in all black.
Horatio: I beg to differ.

Detective: You've racked up no less than nine complaints from your neighbors about early morning ruckus.
Steven: And every one of those was rejected. I abide by the city regs. My workers don't start till eight a.m. Besides, both my next door neighbors party till four in the morning. Nobody does anything when I complain about that noise.
Detective: So you decided to throw one of your neighbors into the wood chipper?
Steven: What?
[sarcastically]
Steven: Yeah, in the middle of the day.
Detective: The wood chipper guy was the only guy scheduled to work here today, wasn't he?
Calleigh: And Mr. Corbett, you did know that he leaves it on during break? It gives you access to the murder weapon.
Steven: Well, I've been home all morning.
Calleigh: The murder took place at your home.
Steven: I meant I haven't left my house.
Calleigh: Is there anyone who can confirm that?
Steven: Oh, yeah. My lawyer.

Calleigh: Detective Caine asked me to come and get the vehicle, so...
Eric: Well, it's all yours. You can take it. I just have one question. You want to give me your phone number now or... later?
Calleigh: [laughing] Does that work?
Eric: Yeah, it works all the time. Well, most of the time. Actually, it's never worked, but I'm gonna keep trying anyway.
Calleigh: Well, I wouldn't bother with me, seriously, because I wouldn't even socialize with anyone remotely related to my job.
Eric: Okay. We'll see.

Calleigh: And Moreno's wife said he liked to stay up late and watch TV. My guess is he got jumped right in the middle of Letterman.
Tim: Top ten ways to get your head blown off.

Calleigh: A feather?
Eric: Yeah, it's a feather from a duck.
Calleigh: Wait a minute, you're saying that first of all there was a killer bear, and now there's a killer duck?

[searching for Eric in the Everglades]
Calleigh: What if he collapsed in the water?
Lieutenant: He's out here, Calleigh, and we're gonna find him.

Polygraph: [Doing a lie detector test on Calleigh] Is your name Calleigh Duquesne?
Calleigh: [after Calleigh inhailed cocaine] Yes. And my nickname is 'Lambchop'. But only my dad calls me that!

Calleigh: Is it just me, or have people gotten a little too casual about seeing a dead body?
[she and Alex look out at the Beach, currently holding a group of laughing and talking spectators]
Alexx: Easier when decomp's is at a distance.
[turning back toward the body]
Alexx: Believe me.

Peter: Hey, are you OK? Field Agent told me about the Leo and Sienna thing on the bridge. Crazy stuff.
Calleigh: Word travels fast. I'm surprised you're willing to set foot in our lab with all the information leaks around here
Peter: If you're referring to our fraud case, I'm sorry.
Calleigh: You knew that bank was part of our investigation and you said nothing.
Peter: The bank closure was in front of a Judge. If ownership found out, they could have blocked it. There was too much was at stake, Calleigh.
Calleigh: We're on the same team.
Peter: I know that. But right now your lab has a credibility problem. We have to be careful until it blows over.
Calleigh: I don't think this is gonna blow over. Everytime I see you, there's a new reason not to trust you. Excuse me.

Calleigh: Are you Okay??
Natalie: I just have a touch of the flu.
Calleigh: Didn't you just have the flu??
Natalie: My Luck!
Calleigh: Are you sure you're alright?? Cause you're really pale.
Natalie: Oh yeah. It's worse in the morning.
Calleigh: Well, if it's anything, Chicken soup always works for me. When I have the flu.

Calleigh: Detective Caine, did I speak out of turn back there?
Lieutenant: You did, but you're asking the right questions. Okay?
Calleigh: Thanks, Detective.
Lieutenant: Okay. You know what? Call me Horatio.

Calleigh: [Calleigh about a fender-bender shooting] People might play nicer with a fender bender if they realized that 3 out 10 people stash a gun in their car.
Alexx: That true?
Calleigh: Yup.
Alexx: Then I'll think a little harder next time I flip someone the bird.

Lieutenant: So, Fred, what can you tell me?
Fred: Well, elemental composition of the bullet that Dr. Woods pulled out of the victim matches the batch of bullets that were found at the house. Now, it doesn't put the gun in Bowers' hand, but this is, uh, pretty definitive.
Calleigh: Excuse me, but I believe that analysis is flawed.
Fred: Are you questioning my science?
Calleigh: No, I'm not questioning the science, just the interpretation... sir.
Fred: I don't know if they told you at that fancy institute, but bullets packaged at the same time and from the same batch are elementally identical.
Lieutenant: Hang on a second, Fred. Officer Duquesne, continue, please.
Calleigh: A study done by the Department of Justice is finding that bullets packaged months apart in separate batches can have the same lead composition. Therefore, your link between the husband and the victim is unfounded. I mean, anyone could own this bullet.
Lieutenant: Fred, did we see this study?
Fred: It's worked for 40 years, Horatio. That's good enough for me.
Lieutenant: But, Fred, things are changing, and we need to change with them.
Fred: We don't have any other way to compare bullets. You drop the ball on this one, and we're back to zero. What do we do then?
Lieutenant: Look for more evidence. Officer Duquesne?
Calleigh: Yes, sir?
Lieutenant: Can I have a word?

Calleigh: I guess somebody will always think it's easy to make a hundred.
Horatio: But we... we know different, don't we?

Jesse: [entering the space shuttle] Wow! Do you understand, when I was a kid, I pretended everything was a spaceship? I can't believe we're actually standing inside of one.
Calleigh: Would you pay two million dollars to go up for the ride?
Jesse: Are you kidding? In a heartbeat.

Megan: This person's goofy footed. He keeps his right foot on the board, pushes off with his left. That's not as common.
Calleigh: And you know this how, Miss Three-Inch Heels?

Ryan: I thought Peter Elliot was helping us?
Calleigh: He is. At my Request.
Ryan: Doesn't want to get his, uh, pretty suit dirty? Where is he?
Calleigh: I don't know. Maybe he's emailing Quantico. Having lunch with his fiancée.

[after Eric was released detention following issues with his immigration status]
Calleigh: [jokingly] You missed out.
[they hug]
Calleigh: I was going to marry you, but your dad stepped in.
Eric: [laughing] What makes you think I would say yes? Maybe I met somebody special on the inside.
Calleigh: I doubt his cooking is as good as mine. Hey, why don't I take you back to my place, I'll make you a traditional American dinner since you are new to our country?
Eric: Sounds good... but danger has been following me everywhere I go.
[Shaking her head, she kisses him]
Eric: Calleigh, I'm serious, I don't want anything to happen to you.
[She kisses him again]

Calleigh: Do you honestly think he's innocent?
Eric: I think that we're both after the same thing. The Truth.

Eric: I.A., uh, recommended that the State Attorney's Office not take the case any further.
Calleigh: You're kidding! They're dropping it? How'd you find that out before the final report?
Eric: You're gonna laugh.
[Eric holds up his phone]
Eric: Twitter.
Calleigh: Unbelievable.

Eric: Hey, Cal.
Calleigh: We narrowed the geographical profile of our suspect.
Eric: [derisive laugh] What'd he do, hawk up his address?
Calleigh: Yeah. Take a look.
Eric: [looking under a microscope] What is it?
Calleigh: Mercury, asbestos, and lead. Kerosene, distilled petroleum. It's jet fuel.
Eric: Ground Zero.
Calleigh: There are thousands of cases of upper respiratory inflammation reported by people who were living in the vicinity of the 9/11 attack. So, I'm thinking our suspect routinely expectorates phlegm in order to clear his throat.
Eric: Dad might have been in New York on business during 9/11.
Calleigh: Except I don't think the Spelmans are the kind of people who would spit in the house. I'm going to compare the DNA to the parents, but I'm thinking that the spit belongs to our killer.
Eric: They call Miami the Sixth Borough. Guy might've moved down here, be a local by now.
Calleigh: I'll run it against local databases.

Calleigh: [after Walter tells her where the eyeball should be] All right, let's start there.
Walter: [Shaking his head] Uh, no. I'm going to let you handle that one. Eyeballs are like my kryptonite!
Calleigh: [Big teasing smile] Good to know.

Warrick: $500 for five dollars worth of honey? I don't think it's worth it.
Nightclub: Those are mostly for decoration, but once in a while, some bigwig comes, takes one of 'em out of here.
Horatio: [searching through receipts] Wouldn't it have been easier to put these in order? This is gonna take forever.
Calleigh: Maybe not. I've got a receipt from two nights ago.

Kenwall: That's the first drink I've had in six months. What do I do now? What happens now?
Calleigh: Take another one.
Kenwall: What? That's what got me here in the first place, Calleigh!
Calleigh: You came to me for help, I'm offering you help. Take another drink.

[to a DA]
Calleigh: I didn't realize evidence took sides.

Tim: [Having stepped out of the interigation room] I am sorry... I don't like her.
Calleigh: What does that have to do with anything?
Tim: [sighing] Nothing...

Calleigh: Hey, Tom. Have you got anything on our girl yet?
Dr. Tom Loman: She has broken bones, but no bruising, so I know she was dead before she went into the wash.
Calleigh: Okay.
Dr. Tom Loman: This bruising, however, is consistent with an antemortem injury. Looks like blunt-force trauma.
Calleigh: Poor thing. She was just beaten and thrown away. Do you think that's the cause of death?
Dr. Tom Loman: Certainly looks that way. I'll have to see how bad the underlying damage is.
Calleigh: All right. I'll get back to you. Thanks.
Dr. Tom Loman: Okay.
[finding something in the victim's shoe]
Dr. Tom Loman: Calleigh?
Calleigh: Yeah?
Dr. Tom Loman: I've got her room key.
Calleigh: The Ciel Bleu Hotel. One step closer to finding out who she is.

Darren: My clerk tells me you want to cash a check for $100,000?
Ryan: Actually, we want to give you an IOU.
Darren: Funny. Get out of here, or I'm going to call the cops.
Calleigh: Look, we are the cops, okay? We've got a hostage situation. People's lives are at stake. Here's our paperwork.
Darren: O-Okay, y-you know what? You can't just come in here and clean me out, okay? I mean, how am I gonna get my money back?
Calleigh: I understand what you're saying, and I'm sorry. But if you have any other questions, you're gonna have to get in contact with Horatio Caine.

[Calleigh's father unexpectedly shows up at CSI]
Calleigh: [suspiciously] Okay, what's happened now?
Kenwall: Why do you always make it sound so bad?
Calleigh: Did mom take you back?

Calleigh: Aren't you supposed to be off this case?
Dr. Alexx Woods: Jones got the report. Can't help it if I can read upside down.

Calleigh: Take a look at this. It's that guy Jesse Cardoza.
Ryan: The new transfer from L.A.
Calleigh: He used to work here with Horatio back in the day. He wasn't supposed to be here for another week.
Ryan: You think he's armed?
Calleigh: No. Look. There he is at reception, checking in his backup.
Ryan: Well, I don't think the HT would've known he'd taken a police officer hostage.
Calleigh: I'm afraid that if he figures out this guy is a cop...
Ryan: He's gonna kill him.

Calleigh: So, Horatio wanted me to get a statement from you about today. Why don't we start with, um... who's the girl?
Jesse: What girl?
Calleigh: [pantomiming taking notes] Girl you were stalking.
Jesse: Okay, you and Ryan really need to stop texting so much.
[Calleigh laughs]

Calleigh: Miss, have you been charging your drinks to room 17301?
Courtney: Yeah, of course. That's my room.
Calleigh: So, you're Courtney Heywood.
Frank: Can we see some identification, please?
Courtney: You show me yours first.
Frank: I'm sorry?
Courtney: Who are you guys?
Calleigh: We're with the Miami-Dade Police Department.
Frank: So, let's see your stuff. Your... uh... ID.
Calleigh: [taking it and holding it up for comparison] Thank you. She's Courtney Heywood.
Courtney: Can you guys tell me what's going on here?

Jesse: [after hearing Carmel's version of the evening] Alright. Well, we'll just have to check the video surveillance just to be sure.
Carmel: Take it up with my boss
[She smiles and leans into him]
Carmel: , Dimples.
Calleigh: [as Carmel walks away] All right, "Dimples." You heard her, let's go get the footage.
Jesse: [Looking uncomfortable] Yeah, no. How about You take it up with the boss and I'll see why Sean wasn't here with his pals?
Calleigh: Fine
[She smiles/laughs walking away]
Calleigh: Fine.
[Jesse looks around at the dancers and lets out his breadth before leaving]

Calleigh: Oh my Gosh. Why is it so cold in here?
Dr. Alexx Woods: I don't want to lose what little of her I've got. When you pull a body out of the water putrefaction goes into over drive.
Calleigh: Well, tell me you at least have enough for cause of death.
Dr. Alexx Woods: Don't know yet. What I can tell you is, her fingers were cut off.
Calleigh: You sure it wasn't the wild life?
Dr. Alexx Woods: No, they only go for the meaty parts: the lips, ears. The fish finish the job, but someone got them started.

Calleigh: Run and shoot Ryan, our crime scene is going under.

Calleigh: We're gonna need to see that room, and take a look at your personnel files.
Dave: Why? I thought Jake was in a car accident.
Ryan: He was, but somebody killed him before that.

Calleigh: Hey, Walter, what are you doing here?
Walter: Hey. My vic partied here. Had a VIP bracelet from this spot.
Ricky: Great. More cops.
Walter: Mr. Cooperative here is Ricky Halpern. Club bouncer.
Frank: Ricky! Just the guy we were looking for. We got one of your prints in our investigation.
Ricky: Mine?
Frank: Uh-huh. Does your boss know you're a felon?

Calleigh: Courtney, we found a dead body this morning. She had your room key.
[showing her a picture]
Calleigh: She look familiar?
Courtney: Wow. Um, no. She doesn't look familiar. Sorry. Um, but I have been a little drunk for a couple of days. It's...
Calleigh: [getting it] It's spring break.
Courtney: Yeah. I thought I dropped my key card yesterday on the beach. Half-expected to come back to my room and everything be gone. Should I file a report or something?
Calleigh: I don't know. Is something missing?
Courtney: I can't find my iPod. But I thought I just lost it.
Frank: And you have no idea how she ended up with your key card?
Courtney: No. But when I say I was a bit drunk for a couple of days, I was actually a lot drunk.

Missy: I didn't do anything wrong.
Calleigh: You were driving a car used in an officer-involved shooting, Missy. Why did you run from the police?
Missy: I was scared. I didn't want to get in trouble.
Calleigh: See, the correct answer was "What shooting?".

Detective: So, what were the Mala Noche packin' up in here? Brand new putters and they're heavy!
Calleigh: Hey! That's evidence.
Detective: Wouldn't help my game anyway.

Calleigh: Dad, you walk as quiet as a mouse!

Hank: This ain't over, bitch. I'll be seeing you.
Calleigh: Well you know what the thing is, Hank? It doesn't really matter if you do, because even if you get rid of me someone will step in my place, and if you silence me, the evidence has it's own voice and it keeps saying over and over, "you". You and your bullets. You know what, and by the way, where you're going, I think you're going to be the bitch.

Horatio: How's Frank?
[Who had just been shot at]
Calleigh: He's not happy but he came through the whole thing unscathed.

Calleigh: Guess what our substance is off the dead lawyer's shirt.
Ryan: Uh, well, considering that it came from the undercarriage of his car, which was pierced by his bone, which incidentally I'm really glad I wasn't there to see, my guess is... motor oil, 10W30.
Calleigh: Try soybeans.
Ryan: Soybeans, like ethanol?
Calleigh: No, as in bio-diesel. One hundred percent bio-diesel, in fact. It's rare, so it should make our hit and run car easy to find.
Ryan: Well, it's nice to know that our killer cares about the environment.

[Calleigh and Speed have gone to see Vivian, a Southern woman, who bought an artifact that is evidence in a crime they are trying to solve]
Tim: You just destroyed any fingerprints the killer might have left.
Vivian: Well I had no idea,
[feigning regret]
Vivian: I'm terribly sorry.
Tim: Yeah, sure you are. You know what, we're going to need to take that from you anyway.
Vivian: Oh no you don't. This cross is mine until you youngsters bring me a warrant from a sitting judge.
Tim: Is that the sacred part you were talking about there, Vivian?
Vivian: You must be a Yankee.
Tim: Yeah, I'm from Jamaica, Queens.
Calleigh: He's doing his best to serve the great state of Florida, Mrs. Kensington. He's a bit of a rebel himself. So if, uh, if it wouldn't be too much trouble would you mind if we got the name of the person who sold you the artifact?
Vivian: Well I might just be able to find that information for YOU somewhere.

Eric: Hey, Great to see that smile.
[walking in while Calleigh is ending her call]
Calleigh: [embarrassed, but smiling] It's nothing.
Eric: [smiling back] Who was that, Jake?
Calleigh: Um, yeah, I told them that if people would stop killing each other, we could have a proper meal.

Calleigh: [to the victim's mother] 'Choir girls don't make the A-list', isn't that what you told your daughter?

Dave: Direct line is up. Speaker will allow everyone to listen in, but only you'll be able to talk to him using that. I will be recording everything.
IAB: Are your men in position?
[affirmation]
IAB: Okay, cut the AC. I don't want this guy getting comfortable.
Lieutenant: And I don't want him on edge, Rick.
IAB: Tell him it's being repaired. SWAT's in position.
Calleigh: Rick, the firearms lab was designed to be bulletproof. Even if you could see in, you couldn't get a shot to penetrate.
IAB: This was a coordinated attack, and we're covering all scenarios here.
Dave: Calleigh, surveillance is back up.
Lieutenant: Rick... they have to keep their distance.
IAB: Look, I know the hostage-taker made you point man on the phone. But I'm SOC; SWAT has tactical command here.
Lieutenant: This is my lab and my responsibility.

Calleigh: You got a theory on how the mother and daughter ended up all the way in Miami from Las Vegas?
C.S.I. Night Shift Assistant Supervisor Catherine Willows: Well, we don't actually work theories. Do we, Warrick?
Warrick: No, just evidence.
Calleigh: We're much more fanciful down here. Aren't we, Horatio?
Horatio: I think that's a fair description.
Calleigh: My guess is this belongs to a Taurus 9, made in Brazil. It's a cheap Beretta knockoff, and you may not see many of them in Vegas, but we get 'em down here all the time. Which makes me think this guy wasn't fleeing Las Vegas.
Horatio: He was coming home to Miami.

Calleigh: Suero came looking for his million.
Ryan: It proves Leo and Sienna are crazy. They killed a cartel boss.

Calleigh: All of a sudden, evidence isn't just evidence.

Calleigh: Well when we get close to tool marks and ink processing I'll call you.
FBI: If you don't, you'll be hearing from my boss down at the Homeland Security Office.
Calleigh: Well. I've got goosebumps.

Calleigh: I see things other people don't.

Calleigh: Horatio's got a suspect on ice. He won't stay that way forever. I'm taking this to DNA.
Jim: OK, but this is my lab now.
Calleigh: All due respect, this is my evidence. You want the results, I'll be in DNA.

Calleigh: [checking out a murder at a crematorium] I used to think I wanted to be cremated when I die, but now I don't know.

Calleigh: So, all we have to do is lift these papers and see if either one of them pops for nitrites.
[checking one]
Calleigh: Husband's negative.
Lieutenant: Let's try the gardener.
Calleigh: It's a positive result.
Lieutenant: Wow. That is amazing. We just put Hollings in the car.

Debbie: I think the nicest thing about the film actually is that we get to handle guns, and I had never done that before.

Calleigh: Why fill in the number? Why not just sand it all the way down?
Tim: I don't know. Maybe it's a guy thing.
Calleigh: What? They'll add on or cover up, but they won't mess with the chassis?
Tim: You know what, you're scaring me.

[Ryan has picked up a piece of evidence without wearing gloves]
Calleigh: You are one of the most meticulous people I have ever worked with. What are you doing?
Ryan: What are you talking about, what am I doing? I made a mistake.
Calleigh: You don't make mistakes. You certainly don't make mistakes like that.

Calleigh: Take smells good.
Eric: A little cafe cubano. Put some hair on your chest.
Calleigh: Don't you just say the sweetest things.

Calleigh: What kind of a person does that? I mean, just puts a girl out with the laundry?
Frank: I don't know. Blame it on spring break. Guys think of it as a vacation from common decency. They do whatever the hell they wanna do with no... no consequences.
Calleigh: Well, I'll tell you what. There are *gonna* be consequences.

Jack: Don't make me call Lt. Caine.
Calleigh: I wouldn't make my LT take a call from you.

Calleigh: So you're going to shave before you go to IAB?
Tim: It's a polygraph test, not a portrait.
Calleigh: Well, you know, presentation is everything.

Calleigh: [walks into gun vault, smiles and sighs] I love my job.

Calleigh: The other victim had a head wound too. Is that right?
Dr. Alexx Woods: Yeah. But that bullet isn't yours, Calleigh Honey. It went on an ambulance ride.

Suspect: I swear. I didn't touch her.
Calleigh: You don't have to touch somebody to shoot 'em.

Waiter: I didn't touch her
Calleigh: You don't have to touch somebody to shoot them.

Calleigh: [Trying to hold back her obvious contempt] You know, the truth was there the whole time if you had bothered to investigate.
IAB: You don't know my job.
Calleigh: Lucky for you, I know mine.
[Turning and walking away]

Ryan: You always take his side.
Calleigh: Funny. He says the same thing about you.

Frank: You okay?
Calleigh: Yeah, I guess. It's just when you're a kid, spring break is supposed to be the best part of your life, not the worst.
Frank: Yeah. Got anything to go on?
Calleigh: First and foremost, it's clearly a body dump.
Frank: Yeah. A cherry of a dump site. Hell, almost every hotel in this town uses this place.
Calleigh: So they all send their sheets here?
Frank: Yeah.
Calleigh: Well, that's gonna make IDing the body a challenge.

[about Horatio]
Detective: All I'm saying is, that's one hell of a lonely road he's walking.
Calleigh: I know. That's why I'm walking it with him.

Calleigh: Has your ex-husband approached you or attempted to contact you in any way?
Tanya: No. Here's a picture of Mathew.
Calleigh: Thank you. Have you got any idea where he might go? Friends? Other family?
Tanya: We haven't seen him since the restraining order was issued last month.
Calleigh: You have a restraining order against Mathew?
Tanya: When I filed for divorce, he didn't take it well.
Lloyd: Yeah. He acted like it was her fault he lost everything they had to that fraud, Ripley.
Calleigh: So, are you saying that you believe your divorce had something to do with business dealings with Darren Ripley?
Tanya: I knew that guy was no good, but Mathew wouldn't listen. He lost all of our savings. After I left him, he would call at all hours, just show up at my work, wanting to explain himself.
Calleigh: Tell me about the restraining order.
Lloyd: He showed up a month ago, freaking out, picked a fight with my front door, and then ran off like a coward.
Tanya: That was the last straw. I didn't feel safe. We got a TRO, which only made him angrier.
Calleigh: Could have been what incited today's incident.
Tanya: Who knows why Mathew does anything? He had to agree to get on meds just to get visitation rights.
Calleigh: What about your son? Does he have a cell phone? Would Mathew try and contact him?
Tanya: That's exactly why I won't let him have one.
Calleigh: Well, I'd like to talk to him anyway, if you don't mind.

Calleigh: This is my first case of death by winch.
Jesse: You haven't changed much since the day I met you, have you?
Calleigh: Oh, my gosh. That was my first day, wasn't it?
Jesse: [laughing to himself] Yeah, I remember - the very enthusiastic lateral.
Calleigh: I was right to be! This is a great lab.
Jesse: Yeah, it's certainly not the broom closet I remember.

Calleigh: So, how do three people get shot in broad daylight on a busy street and nobody sees anything?
Horatio: Sniper.

[viewing video footage of their suspect, to corroborate her alibi]
Eric: [realizing Amanda was masturbating] I'm guessing, but... I think we can probably find thousands of witnesses all over the world who could corroborate her alibi.
Calleigh: [turning the video off, half-smiling] Then we do not need two more.

Detective: Where have you been?
Calleigh: I took a drive... got some fresh air... I apprehended an escaped felon.

Calleigh: You know, it's bad enough when you're in that awkward stage between boy and cold-blooded killer, but it's even worse when grandma's kiss links you to the scene.

Calleigh: [arriving at the crime scene] That's the first time I've taken a car ferry to a dead body callout.
Eric: [chuckling] 911 operator, uh, listed this as the address. Caller didn't leave his name, but she said the voice sounded like a male.
[the door opens, apparently of its own accord]
Eric: Whoa. That's creepy.

Calleigh: Hi. Calleigh Duquesne. Don't ask how I spell it. Southern.
Catherine: Catherine Willows. Southern... Vegas.

[Horatio & Calleigh look at the wreckage]
Calleigh: Is it as bad as it looks?
Lieutenant: It's actually worse than it looks.

[stand-off with a suspect]
Calleigh: There are two ways this goes down, and either way, you're dropping the gun.

Wendy: I signed a non-disclosure agreement with the TV station. It's legally binding.
Calleigh: So are handcuffs. It's your choice, Wendy.

[1997 flashback]
Calleigh: You must be the tow truck driver.
Eric: I prefer "automotive recovery expert".

Zach: I didn't come to Miami to kill anyone.
Calleigh: If you did. You're never leaving.

Calleigh: Ship's sinking.
Ryan: We better work fast.

Vincent: That's a good story. I enjoyed that. But you forgot one thing... I'm a lawyer, a damn good one.
Calleigh: You know what? You're right, I did forget one thing; Michelle's blood wasn't the only one we found on the ring. Benito Ramon's was there as well.
Eric: And the cremated ash. And the chances of that happening to anyone but the murderer are about a million to one.
Calleigh: You may be a lawyer, but I'm a CSI. A damn good one.

Paula: Marie's not going anywhere.
Calleigh: Ms. Olsen, we have evidence linking her to a murder.
Paula: That census guy? That-that's impossible. She's never left my sight.
Calleigh: Okay, look. Are you going to bring her out, or do I need to go in there and get her?

[transitioning between two parallel conversations]
Steve: Why do you want my shirt?
Calleigh: Because every contact you make, no matter how small, will leave a trace.
Lieutenant: It's called Locard's exchange principle.
Arnold: I don't get it.
Lieutenant: That's okay. We do.
Steve: Sounds like a lot of hocus-pocus.
Calleigh: Actually, there's an entire forensic discipline based on this principle.
Arnold: How come I've never heard of this on TV?
Lieutenant: Because guns make the news and science doesn't.

Ryan: She's a pretty good actress.
Calleigh: She's not *that* good, she only does reality TV.

Ryan: I took this criminalist seminar, evaluating evidence, the visiting lecturer said that the CSI's job is to think outside the box; "Sometimes the best tool is the stud attached to your earring," She said.
[Then looking at her]
Ryan: Those are nice earrings by the way.
Calleigh: [Smiling back at him] You took my class!

Dwayne: Nice cakes.
Calleigh: Oh... CHARMING.

Lieutenant: Calleigh, the bullet?
Calleigh: There was no bullet.
Lieutenant: Well how did the pilot get shot?
Calleigh: He didn't.
Lieutenant: [a close up of a rivet loosening appears. The pressure fires it through the cockpit where it hits the pilot] A rivet runs through it.

Calleigh: Oh, my gosh, this is the lab?
[laughing]
Calleigh: It's so messy. It looks like a broom closet.
Jesse: Oh, it used to be.
Calleigh: Is this why you're leaving?
Jesse: No.
Calleigh: Well, thank you very much for your help.
Jesse: Anytime. Oh, and, uh, good luck, Calleigh.

Horatio: [measuring the distance of their sniper's nest] Six hundred and fifty yards.
Calleigh: That's six and a half football fields.
Horatio: One shot, one kill. This guy's either military trained or police.
Calleigh: He's Marine Corps, probably. They're the best snipers in the world.

Ryan: Oh, there he is. Nice of you to show up.
Eric: What's your problem, Wolfe?
Ryan: Must be nice to work on Delko Time. Cherry pick cases. Work when you want.
Eric: I had something I had to take care of. You need any help, Calleigh?
Ryan: Yo, Eric, it's too little, too late.
Eric: If I thought you could even understand what I'm going through, I'd explain it to you.
[Calleigh steps between Eric and Ryan]
Calleigh: Okay, You know what? That is enough. I get it.
[Turns to Eric]
Calleigh: Eric, we are fine. If I need extra help, I will call you.
[Turns to Ryan]
Calleigh: You're in the elevator with me. We're leaving now!