150 Best Paul Rudd Quotes

Mike: I heard that weddings are a forty billion dollar a year industry.
Dr. Ross Geller: Yeah. And I'm responsible for just half of that.

Scott: [shrunk down to a child's size; runs into Pym's car after going undercover in a school]
Dr. Hank Pym: Hiya, champ, how was school today?
Scott: Aw, ha ha ha! Alright, get your jokes out now, can you fix the suit?
Hope: So cranky.
Dr. Hank Pym: You want a juice box and some string cheese?
Scott: Do you really have that?

Scott: We did it! We really did it!
Peter: No, don't jinx it! Ahh! Doesn't anybody here watch horror movies?

Dr. Bill Foster: Calm down, Hank.
Dr. Hank Pym: [strained] So help me God... the pills.
Hope: It's his heart! He needs his pills. Please, Dr. Foster. They're in the tin. Please. He could die! For Chr... come on!
Scott: Help him!
Hope: Dad, just hang on, all right? Just keep breathing. Stay calm.
Scott: Help him, man! Come on!
Hope: The Altoid tin!
Ava: [Foster grabs the tin] Wait!
Scott: [as Foster opens it, giant ants spring out; one cuts their restraints] Thanks, guys.

Jimmy: Not to be a Johnny ask-a-lot, but you haven't had any contact with Hank Pym or Hope van Dyne, have you?
Scott: No.
Jimmy: You sure? Because it's only a matter of time before we get 'em. It was their tech, so they violated the Accords, too. And associating with them breaks your deal. And, uh, I don't need to remind you that any violation of your agreement means 20 years in prison. Minimum.
Scott: I haven't talked to Hank or Hope in forever.
Cassie: They hate his guts.
Scott: [sarcastic] Thanks, peanut.
Jimmy: How'd you do it, Scott?
Scott: Do what?
Jimmy: The card trick.
Scott: Seriously?

David: You know how I know you're gay? You have a rainbow bumper sticker on your car that says, "I like it when balls are in my face."
Cal: That's gay?

Rocket: Quill said he stole the Power Stone from Morag.
Bruce: Is that a person?
Rocket: Morag's a planet, Quill was a person.
Scott: A planet? Like in outer space?
Rocket: Oh, look, it's like a little puppy, all happy and everything. Do you want to go to space, puppy? I'll take you to outer space!

Mike: Ah.
- Um, uh, you know, I'm divorced.
- Uh, Phoebe... Phoebe says you're...
- You've been divorced?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, I'm sorry.
- I don't really like to talk about it.
- That's okay.
- We'll talk about something else.

Josh: Look, I'm just curious. How many hours a day do you spend grooming yourself?
Cher: Some people are not lucky enough to be as naturally adorable as you are.
Josh: Stop it, you're making me blush.

Scott: Is that building alive?
Veb: Yours are dead?

Kang: Gotta say, Janet was a lot more help.
Scott: You know Janet too? Does everyone down here know Janet?
Kang: She didn't tell you about me?
[Scott nods his head no]
Kang: Guess that's not a surprise.

Scott: [trying to reach Hope, Hank, and Janet through the radio in his helmet] Hope... Hope... Hank. Can you hear me? Can anyone hear me?
Cassie: Oh my god.
Scott: [Scott retracts his helmet] It's okay.
Cassie: What are we gonna do?
Scott: It's okay! It's okay! We're okay! We're okay! It's gonna be okay!
Cassie: You're saying "okay" too much.
Scott: Eh alright okay. Well it's because we are. We're okay! We are fine! Hey, we're gonna find them and we're gonna go home.
[Cassie breathes heavily]
Scott: In the meantime, look around. It's beautiful. All right we're outside. It's like we're camping. We love camping.
Cassie: We've never been camping!
Scott: But we've always talked about it.
[Cassie spots a suspicious glowing sphere above in the distance]
Cassie: Is that Sun moving?

Hope: [hearing Scott describe his dream] What color was it?
Scott: Red.
Hope: Where there horses on it?
Scott: Oh, boy.
Hope: It's where I hid every time that we played.
Scott: It doesn't sound like you really got the gist of the game.
Hope: [hugging Hank] She's alive.

David: You know how I know you're gay?
Cal: How?
David: Your dick tastes like shit.

Smart: [points to a TV playing a Michael McDonald DVD] If I get the set, will you throw in the DVD?
David: Tell you what. You *don't* get the set and I'll throw in the DVD.

David: Dude, you look like a man-o-lantern.

Phoebe: Are you sure this is safe?
Grooberson: History is safe. Geometry, that's safe. Science is all particle accelerators and hydrogen bombs. Science is giving yourself the plague and gambling on the cure. Science is reckless.
Phoebe: Science is reckless.
Grooberson: Totally! Yes! It's punk rock. It's a safety pin through the nipple of academia

Hope: Oh, my God. You *didn't* destroy the suit?
Dr. Hank Pym: WHAT?
Scott: Well, it was your life's work, Hank. I couldn't destroy that. Before I turned myself in, I shrunk it down and mailed it to Luis.
Dr. Hank Pym: You sent my suit through the MAIL?
Scott: Hey, the postal service is very reliable, you know? They do tracking numbers now. Like UPS.

Cher: I want to do something for humanity.
Josh: How about sterilization?

Mel: I'd like to see you have a little direction.
Cher: I have direction!
Josh: Yeah, towards the mall.

Scott: [sees Sonny Burch on a ferry that sails away] How did he even have time to buy a ticket?
[tries to shrink down to his miniature size by pressing a button]
Scott: Won't you just, one time, please, work!
[successfully shrinks down to his miniature size]
Scott: Yes! Oh, alright, I need help. Yes!
[calls in a flying ant, though it is eaten by a bird]
Scott: Oh... sorry.
Scott: [calls in another flying ant, but it is again eaten by a bird] Hey! Come on, man! Not cool!
[the same thing happens with multiple other flying ants]
Scott: Murderers!
[one flying ant catches him and starts to fly him to the ferry]
Scott: Yes! I'm gonna call you ANT-onio Banderas!
[another bird eats ANT-onio]
Scott: No, no!
[lunges off the flying ant and starts falling]
Scott: ANT-onio!

Scott: So, uh, how do we find the lab?
Dr. Hank Pym: After we lost it the first time... I put on a new tracker... of sorts.
Scott: [a swarm of ants in the sky forms a giant directional arrow] That'll work.

Desmond: Indie rock or Rock rock? Rock rock. 'Cuz the bad boys get the chicks! I mean, look at you. You're single and you're very nice, Pez. There's a correlation.

Pete: Marriage is like a tense, unfunny version of Everybody Loves Raymond, only it doesn't last 22 minutes. It lasts forever.

Luis: I mean, we gotta land this bird.
Scott: He ain't goin' anywhere. And the expression is "land this fish."
Luis: No, it's "land the bird." Just like you land the plane. You gotta land the plane to be in business.
Scott: I know it's silly to get hung up on these kinds of things, but I do.
Luis: How am I gonna land a fish? It can't walk. And if it swam up on shore, and it battled a hawk, who's gonna win?
Scott: You've really turned me around on this thing.

Pete: Just don't ask me to lend you any money.
Ben: Can I just - have some?

Douche: [sees Frank] Oh, so now you're gonna come at me, bro?
Frank: Oh, I'm coming at you!
[prepares to punch him. But Darren tries to grabs Frank]
Douche: Okay, we got him. Easy now, easy now.
Darren: Well, it's hard when your head's up my ass and you're yanking on the scrote!
Douche: Look, sausage... I relish the fact that you mustard the strength to ketchup to me!
[to Mustard, Ketchup and Relish]
Douche: Yeah, that's right, shut your mouths.
[to Frank, cackling]
Douche: I sucked a juice box's dick, and I'm shoved up a God's asshole, and this is the weirdest thing that I've done so far, bro!
[takes a bite of his torso, Frank screaming in pain]
Brenda: [gasps, shocked] Oh, my God! FRANK!
Douche: I'll tell you who eats shit: Gods do, bro... I'M A FUCKING GOD!
Darren: Good-bye, little sausage.
[prepares to kill Frank]

Darren: Fuck you, weenies.
[throws a package of screaming sausages into the garbage can]
Darren: [sighs] Fuck, I hate this fucking job!

MTV: If y'all gonna get down, then Wesley Jackson and the MTV News Crew want in!
Brian: What's MTV?
Ron: I think it's a venereal disease.
MTV: The most requested video of the day, a new band called Burgundy Sucking Chestwomb.

Derek: Wow. You're glowing.
Susan: Thank you.
Derek: No. No, Susan, you're, like, really glowing. You're green!

Cassie: Why can't you just leave my daddy alone?
Jimmy: Oh, Cassie. This must all seem like a bunch of confusing grown-up stuff to you, huh? Well, think of it this way. Your school has rules, right? Like, you can't draw on the walls. Well your daddy went to Germany and drew on the walls with Captain America. And that was a violation of Article 16, Paragraph Three of the Sokovia Accords. Now, as a part of his joint plea deal with Homeland Security and the German government... he was allowed to return to the U.S. provided he serve two years under house arrest followed by three years of probation. And avoid any unauthorized activities, technology or contact with any former associates who were or currently are in violation of said Accords. Or any related statutes. Ok, sweetie?
Scott: Wow, you're really great with kids.
Jimmy: Thanks, I'm also a youth pastor.

[At Madison Square Park, Ron runs into Jack Lime and his team]
Ron: [shocked] What the hell?
Jack: Well, hello, Ron. You out for a jog?
Ron: Jack Lime!
[Parents and children scatter away]
Ron: Where's everyone going? Please, I don't have time to talk, okay? I have to be somewhere.
Jack: Well, that's funny. 'Cause I got nowhere to be because you pretty much destroyed my career. Do you realize what it did to me, by making myself call me "Jack Lame"?
[yells]
Jack: It was a living hell!
[panting]
Ron: I'm telling you, you have to let me go!
Jack: Oh, don't worry. Four against one. This'll be over fast.
Brian: Maybe not so fast!
[Champ, Brick, and Brian appear to the rescue]
Ron: My news team! Thank God!
Champ: Ain't a day that will be or has been that we don't Ron Burgundy's back.
Jack: Not a problem. When I done with these mutts, I gonna wipe my shoes on the curb.
Brick: Oh, yeah, Jack Lime? When I'm done with you, my mom's gonna pick me up and take me home.

[after a botched first attempt of time travel]
Scott: Someone peed my pants! Not sure if it was the baby-me or the old me.
[pauses]
Scott: Or was it just me-me?

Grooberson: Did you catch anything?
Phoebe: It's inside the trap.
Grooberson: Right now?
Phoebe: Yes.

Monica: [to Phoebe] OK, it's 2100 hours. Time for your toast.
Mike: Do I have a minute to go to the bathroom?
Monica: You had a bathroom break at 2030; pee on your own time, Mike... Now, in regard to the toast - OK, you wanna keep them short; nothing kills a rehearsal dinner like long speeches. OK, you just get in, do your thing and get out.
Mike: Is that what you say to Chandler?

[on Phoebe's lack of social skills]
Grooberson: [jokingly] Maybe she'll take up pole dancing?
Callie: She's not that coordinated.
Grooberson: I don't think that matters.

Darren: Wait, Snap out of it, man! Slap it! Slap yourself in the face, man! Oh, man! You lost your mind? Is this even? No, wait! This isn't real! Now, this can't be real!
Douche: Oh, it's real, bro.
[Darren reacts, points to douche with a gun]
Darren: [gasps in horror] A talking douche?
Douche: It's cool, bro. Chill, okay?
Darren: No, no, no! This is too much, this is too much! Too much! Breathe, man!
Douche: We both want the same thing... Like, I'm feeling honestly the two of us could like collaborate together. Like a mash up, bro.
Darren: A mash-up? I don't understand! What's happening?
Douche: You don't need to understand.
[getting inside of his crotch]
Douche: You just need to relax and open wide.
Darren: Wait, what are you doing?
[He got inside of his crotch, groaning]
Douche: Oh, yeah!
Darren: Dude, that went up my ass!

Phoebe: [Mike is going back to his apartment after two days at Phoebe's] I want you to stay!
Mike: I want to stay, too, but I've gotten about as much use out of these boxers as I can.
Phoebe: Why don't you turn them inside ou - ?
Mike: Done it.

Phoebe: Yeah, I changed my name. Meet Princess Consuela Bananahammock!
Mike: What...? Well, I guess I'm gonna change my name.
Phoebe: Oh yeah? To what?
Mike: Uh... Crap Bag.

Pete: Do you ever wonder how somebody could even like you? The biggest problem in our marriage is that she wants me around. And I can't even accept that? I don't think I can accept pure love.

Scott: Come on, Woo. I've got three days left. Why would I try to escape?
Jimmy: Sorry, Scott, but rules are rules. You trip the perimeter alarm, we search the place. Keel to stern, soup to nuts.
Scott: [an agent accidentally drops something and it breaks] Thank you. It was an accident. My foot went through the fence.
Cassie: Our flying ant crashed.
Scott: [seeing Woo's look] Hey, you try and entertain a ten-year-old when you can't leave the house. You know the lengths that I've gone to?
[conjuring a playing card]
Scott: Close-up magic.
[conjuring the card from behind Cassie's ear]
Scott: I learned that.

Cal: You're gay now?
David: No, I'm not gay. I'm just celibate.
Cal: I think... I mean, that sounds gay. I just want you to know this is, like, the first conversation of, like, three conversations that leads to you being gay. Like, there's this, and then in a year it's like, "Oh, you know, I'm kinda gonna want to get back out there, but I think I like guys," and then there's the big, "Oh, I'm... I'm... I'm a gay guy now."
David: [smirks] You're gay for saying that.
Cal: I'm gay for saying that?
David: You know how I know you're gay?
Cal: How? How do you know I'm gay?
David: Because you macramed yourself a pair of jean shorts.
Cal: You know how I know *you're* gay? You just told me you're not sleeping with women any more.
David: You know how I know you're gay?
Cal: How? 'Cause you're gay? And you can tell who other gay people are?
David: You know how I know you're gay?
Cal: How?
David: You like Coldplay.

Mike: [to Phoebe] Phoebe, I love you. I mean... I missed you so much these past few months, and I thought we were apart for a good reason, but then... I suddenly realized that... there was no reason good enough to keep me from spending the rest of my life with you.
David: [interrupts] Kind of a step from the toes of what I was gonna say.
Mike: [to David] Sorry David, but she really has to know this.
David: [to Mike] Alright, but after this, I want to see you outside...
[Glances out the window]
David: If the rain stops...
Mike: [to Phoebe] You're the most incredible woman I've ever met. How could I lose you? Now... I don't actually have a ring.
David: [interrupts] Uh... I have a ring.
Chandler: [reminds David about his 1/70th of a carat diamond ring] I wouldn't brag too much about that thing big guy.
Mike: [to Phoebe] Phoebe, will you marry me?
Phoebe: ...No
David: [ridicules Mike] Um... Ha Ha
Phoebe: [to Mike] I love you. I never needed a proposal from you. I just needed to know that we were heading somewhere... that we had a future...
Mike: [to Phoebe] We can have any future you want.
David: [after a brief moment of silence; interrupts] 'Kay well I'm uh... I'm gonna take off
Mike: [to David] David, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry!
David: Just so I know, uh, if I had asked first...
Phoebe: I... would have said yes, but that would have been wrong.
David: Please, you don't have to explain... I mean... perhaps I hadn't gone to Minsk, things would have worked out for us. And I wouldn't have ruined my career, or lost that toe to frostbite. It was a good trip!
[walks away]

Marge: So whatever you did to my husband was too effective.
Dr. Zander: Yes, one of the most common complaints about therapy.

[Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff hear the Ant-Man calling]
Scott: Hi! Uh, is anyone home? This is Scott Lang. We met a few years ago? At the airport? In Germany? I got really big.
Steve: Is this an old message?
Scott: Ant-Man? Ant-Man... I know you know wh... I know you know that!
Natasha: That's the front gate.
Scott: That's me. Can you buzz me in?

Josh: Do you have any idea what you're talking about?
Cher: No. Why, does it sound like I do?

Scott: [raises hand and stops Kang mid-monologue] Mr. Conqueror? Sir?
Kang: [annoyed] What is it, Scott Lang?
Scott: [in one breath] Who are you,
[points to M.O.D.O.K]
Scott: what is that, what the hell's going on and can I go back to Earth now?

Phoebe: What are you working on?
Joey: It's a "welcome home" sign for the baby.
Phoebe: [Pointing to a big smudge on the poster] Is that the baby?
Joey: No, I sat on the paint.
Mike: [Mike enters in] Hey.
Phoebe: What'd you have there?
Mike: It's a welcome home poster for the baby it'd be a lot better but I didn't have enough time to work on it.
Phoebe: [Mike unrolls the poster and shows everyone] Honey that's gorgeous.
Joey: [Jealous tone and facial expression to Mike] You know the baby can't read.

Josh: Hey, James Bond, in America we drive on the right side of the road.
Cher: I am. You try driving in platforms.

Pete: Never do what they did.
Charlotte: I'm gonna do it...
Pete: You are? Uh oh, someone's getting homeschooled.

Scott: Hey, Hank. It's been a while. Um, I don't even know if this is your number anymore. And I'm... I'm probably the last person you wanna hear from, but... I just had a really weird dream. And I know that doesn't sound like an emergency or anything, but it just felt very real. I was back in the quantum realm, and I think I saw your wife. And then I was your wife. I mean, not, you know, in a weird way or anything. You know, hearing this out loud, I'm thinking, uh, it's not an emergency. I'm sorry to bother you. I'm sorry for a lot of things.

Scott: Ca... Captain America...
[shakes Steve's hand vigorously]
Steve: Mr. Lang.
Scott: It's an honor. I'm shaking your hand too long. Wow, this is awesome!
[turns to Wanda]
Scott: Captain America! I know you, too. You're great!
[sighs, then grips Steve's muscles]
Scott: Jeez... Uh, look, I wanna say, I know you know a lot of super-people so... thinks for thanking of me.
[Steve grins]
Scott: [to Sam] Hey, man!
Sam: What's up, Tic-Tac?
Scott: Uh, good to see you. Look, what happened last time was...
Sam: It was a great audition, but it'll...
[chuckles]
Sam: It'll never happen again.
Steve: Did he tell you what we're up against?
Scott: Something about some... psycho assassins?
Steve: We're outside the law on this one, so if you come with us, you're a wanted man.
Scott: Yeah, well, what else is new?

Hope: What took you so long?
Scott: Sorry, I had to come up with a name for my ant. I'm thinking Ulysses S. Gr-Ant.

Ant: [internally damaging the Iron Man suit] Oh, you're going to have to take this to the shop.
Iron: Who's speaking?
Ant: It's your conscience. We don't talk a lot these days.

Dr. Zander: You're serious? You mean you lay your hands on your son's neck?
Homer: Yeah. I guess it's the way I was brought up.
[Flashback to Homer as a boy]
Grampa: Homer, your grades are a disgrace. No more TV for a month.
Homer: Why you little...
[Strangles Grampa]

Mike: [speaking his vows to Phoebe] Phoebe, you are so beautiful. You're so kind. You're so generous. You're so wonderfully weird. Everyday with you is an adventure. And I can't believe how lucky I am. I can't wait to share my life with you forever.

Veb: Hi.
[Startles Scott]
Veb: Oh sorry, um did you drink the ooze?
Scott: [confused] Why can I understand you?
Veb: Oh that's the ooze. Hey everyone, the ooze worked.

- It's ridiculous.
Ant: I think you look great, Cap.
- As far as I'm concerned, that's America's ass.
- 2012 BLACK WIDOW: Who gets the, uh, magic wand?
- 2012 CAPTAIN AMERICA: S.T.R.I.K.E. team's coming to secure it.

Charlie: Mr. Anderson? Can I ask you something?
Bill: Yeah.
Charlie: Why do nice people choose the wrong people to date?
Bill: Are we talking about anyone specific?
[Charlie nods]
Bill: Well, we accept the love we think we deserve.
Charlie: Can we make them know that they deserve more?
Bill: We can try.

Andy: Take your porn with you.
David: I'm not taking it.
Andy: [following David to the front door] Take your box o' porn!
David: It's my gift to you.
Andy: No, I don't want it. David it's not... just... just...
David: [shouting] Andy for the last time, I don't want your giant box of pornography!
Andy: No no no, just- Come on man! So uncool!
David: No...
[continues shouting]
David: Uncool? Uncool is trying to give an honest man a big box of porn, Andy!

David: Hey, Paula.
Paula: Yeah?
David: I gotta tell you something. I'm really excited about it. Uh, for the first time today, I woke up, I came to the store, and I feel confident to say to you that if you don't take this Michael McDonald DVD that you've been playing for two years straight off, I'm going to kill everyone in the store and put a bullet in my brain.
Paula: David, what do you suggest we play?
David: I don't care. Anything. I would rather... I would rather watch "Beautician and the Beast". I would rather listen to Fran Drescher for eight hours than have to listen to Michael McDonald. Nothing against him, but if I hear "Yah Mo B There" one more time, I'm going to "Yah Mo" burn this place to the ground.
Paula: You're such a smartass. Get back on the floor.
[Paula walks away]
David: [cough-mutters] Ah-fuck you!

[on the phone]
Phoebe: Listen... is Ross near you?
Mike: No, I just left.
Phoebe: Well, you have to go back in.
Mike: What? Go back? To the land where time stands still?

Grooberson: [after being a terror dog] I'm bleeding, why am I bleeding?
Callie: Oh, you headbutted a park bench.
Grooberson: Okay.

Mike: [Referring to Monica and Chandler's twin babies] I want one.
Phoebe: Which one? I'll try to slip in my coat.
Mike: Seriously, you want to make one of those?
Phoebe: One? How about a whole bunch?
Mike: Really?
Phoebe: Yeah, we can teach them to sing and be like the Von Trapp family.

Josh: We might get Marky Mark to plant a celebrity tree.
Cher: Oh how fabulous. Getting Marky Mark to take time from his busy pants dropping schedule to plant trees. Why don't you just hire a gardener?
Josh: You know, maybe Marky Mark wants to use his popularity for a good cause - make a contribution. In case you've never heard of that, a contribution is...
Cher: Excuse me, but I have donated many expensive Italian outfits to Lucy, and as soon I get my license, I fully intend to brake for animals, and I have contributed many hours to helping two lonely teachers find romance.
Josh: Which I'll bet serves your interests more than theirs. You know, If I ever saw you do anything that wasn't ninety percent selfish, I'd die of shock.
Cher: Oh, that'd be reason enough for me.

Chase: What is this?
Hobbs: It appears to be a full-length documentary film about the exploits of our prisoner Renegade.
Paul: [Voice over on video] Liv Moore understood the stakes when she took over Seattle's largest human smuggling organization. She was there when her predecessor was executed. She resuscitated the organization when others believed Fillmore-Graves' attempt at intimidation had succeeded.
Chase: Is that Paul Rudd narrating?
Hobbs: Yeah, sounds like it.
Chase: Paul Rudd, he's a good get.

Pete: [quoting Back to the Future] Where we're going we don't need roads.

Hope: [seeing the Wasp suit materialize] Scott?
Ant: What're you two just standing around for? We gotta go find that lab.
Dr. Hank Pym: What about me?
[an FBI jacket and cap materializes with a pair of sunglasses]
Dr. Hank Pym: Perfect.

Dr. Hank Pym: Just tell me you weren't lying about the suit you took. Tell me you really destroyed it.
Scott: I did. I destroyed it. I swear.
Dr. Hank Pym: I can't believe you destroyed my suit! That was my life's work.

Jimmy: You got away with it this time, Scott, but I'll be seeing you again.
Scott: Where?
Jimmy: Huh?
Scott: Where will you be seeing me again?
Jimmy: Like, in general I'll see, like, the next time you... do something bad I'll be there...
Scott: Oh.
Jimmy: ...to catch you.
Scott: You'll be watching and...
Jimmy: Yeah.
Scott: I thought you were inviting me somewhere.
Jimmy: Why would I do that?
Scott: That's what I was wondering. Why would you do that? I...
Jimmy: Like a party? Or dinner or something?
Scott: I don't know, I thought you were...
Jimmy: No, I meant...
Scott: ...planning the evening.
Jimmy: No, I meant to, like, arrest you.
Scott: No, that'd be a little strange.
Jimmy: Like, I'll arrest you later again.
Scott: Take it easy.
Jimmy: Okay.
[turns to leave then turns back to Scott]
Jimmy: Did you want to grab dinner or something? Because, I mean -
[Scott shakes his head no]
Jimmy: Because I'm free...

Scott: You can read minds?
Quaz: Yeah, and I wish I couldn't, because everyone is disgusting.
[Reads Scott's mind and is disgusted]
Quaz: Would you please stop thinking that!
Scott: What?
Quaz: [Reads Scott's mind again] That! Please stop!
Scott: I'm sorry. It just popped in there.

Mike: If I had known the last time I saw you would be the last time, I... I would have stopped to memorize your face, the way you moved, everything about you. If I had known the last time I kissed you would be the last time, I never would have stopped.
Monica: Kiss him you fool!
Phoebe: What?
Monica: Did you hear that speech? If you don't kiss him then I will.

Dr. Hank Pym: I'm tracking your signal using subatomic frequencies between .2 and .9.
Scott: I'd narrow it to four and six.
Dr. Hank Pym: That's too tight. We could miss you.
Scott: Look at us squabbling again.
Dr. Hank Pym: Fine. All right, between three and seven.
Scott: Our first fight in decades, and it's over just like that.
[the system locks on]
Scott: Bullseye.
Hope: Source lock.
Dr. Hank Pym: It's you.
Hope: [laughing in triumph] We got it!
Scott: You have to meet me at these exact coordinates. In the wasteland, beyond the quantum void. It's very dangerous, especially on the human mind, so be careful. Time and space work very differently down here. You have two hours. After that, the probability fields will shift, and it'll be another century before they align like this again.
Hope: We'll find you.
Scott: I know you will, Jelly Bean.
[suddenly "waking up"]
Scott: Nope. Nothing. I got nothing. No sign of Janet. Perfect.
[looking around]
Scott: How did we get up here?
[realizing they're holding hands, he looks suspiciously at Hank]

Scott: Anyone seen a Southern gentleman carrying a building?

Dr. Hank Pym: Relax. No one's gonna recognize us.
Scott: What, because of hats and sunglasses? It's not a disguise, Hank. We look like ourselves at a baseball game.

Callie: I have an allergy to science.
Grooberson: Have you tried Benadryl?

Veb: Hello
[startles Scott]
Veb: Hi. Did you drink the ooze?
Scott: [confused] Why can I understand you?
Veb: Oh, great that's the ooze. Hey everybody it worked! Ooze worked!
[everyone surrounding them cheers]

Kang: Janet stole something from me. My ticket out of here. And you're the only one who can steal it back.
Scott: And why would I do that?
Kang: Because you want to get out of here. And I need to get out of here. Because I know how it ends.
Cassie: How what ends?
Kang: [to Cassie] All of it. I don't live in a straight line. And with time... it's hard not to skip to the end. So, if you want to stop what's coming, and trust me, you do, I am the only shot you have.
Cassie: What's coming?
Kang: Me. A lot of me. They exiled me, down here. They're afraid of me. But I'm the man who can get you home.

- He also said to go for your legs.
- Ahhh!
- Clint, can you get him off me?
- Buckled in?
Ant: Yeah. No, I'm good.
- I'm good, arrow guy. Let's go!

Brian: [referring to Jill and Wendy] I like the way they're put together.
Champ: I like fighting girls.
Jill: I like to cunt punt cowboys.
Wendy: You eat pussy?
Jill: You're gonna.

[last lines]
Scott: Hello? Ha-ha, very funny. Hank, quit screwing around. You told me yourself, not screw around.
[cut to Dr. Hank Pym, Hope van Dyne and Janet has all been disintegrated]
Scott: Hank? Hope? Janet? Guys... Guys? Be seriously, don't joke around! Bring me up, let's go! GUYS!

Kang: I want you to remember... you could've gone home. You could've seen your daughter again. But you thought you could win.
Scott: I don't have to win. We both just have to lose!

- I mean, honestly, how do you keep your food down?
- Shut up.
- Ooh. All right, you're up, little buddy.
- There's our stone.
Ant: All right.
- Flick me.

Callie: I'm sorry the night went sideways.
Grooberson: No. I-I- had a blast. Why don't we just pick it up tomorrow night, same time.
Callie: You really want more of this?
Grooberson: Are you kidding me? We had kung pao shrimp. We went to jail. I don't know how we're gonna top this. This is a home run.
Callie: Um, my life is a dumpster fire.
Grooberson: I love dumpster fires. You should see my apartment.

David: [the same Michael McDonald sampler DVD has been playing on all of the television screens for the last two years] If I have to hear "Yamo Be There" one more time, I'm going to "Yamo" burn this place to the ground.

Kang: You should've looked the other way.
Scott: Yeah, well, never been great at that.

Callie: Let's go. You were supposed to look after her this summer.
Grooberson: I was?
Callie: Not you. Him.
Trevor: This was her idea.
Phoebe: But what about our stuff? The Ecto-1?
Sheriff: Everything will remain nice and safe in our impound locker.
Phoebe: No! We need it.
Callie: Phoebe, let's go.
Phoebe: We caught a ghost tonight.
Deputy: Dirt farmer's family.
Phoebe: It's true. And there will be more.
Sheriff: Hey, kid. You're starting to sound like your lunatic grandfather.

Phoebe: [while Monica sings at Mike's Piano Bar the spotlight hits her and everyone can see through her shirt] Can you totally see through her shirt?
Mike: Like an X-Ray.
Mike: [referring to Monica] Bad day not to wear a bra

M.O.D.O.K.: [about Kang] He made me the ultimate weapon. A mechanized organism designed only for killing...
Scott: "M.O.D.O.K."?

Pete: You look like a cholo dressed up for Easter.

James: If we can do this, you know, go back in time... why don't we just find baby Thanos, you know, and...
[Pantomimes strangulation]
Hulk: Okay, first of all, that's horrible.
James: It's Thanos!
Hulk: And secondly, time doesn't work that way. Changing the past doesn't change the future.
Scott: We go back, we get the stones before Thanos gets them, Thanos doesn't have the stones! Problem solved!
Clint: Bingo.
Nebula: That's not how it works!
Clint: Well, that's what I heard.
Hulk: Who told you that?
James: Star Trek, Terminator, Timecop, Time After Time...
Scott: Quantum Leap?
James: A Wrinkle in Time, Somewhere in Time...
Scott: Hot Tub Time Machine?
James: Hot Tub Time Machine, Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, basically any movie that deals with time travel!
Scott: Die Hard? No, that's not one...
James: Look, this is known!
Hulk: I don't know why everyone believes that, but that isn't true. Think about it. If you go into the past, that past becomes your future, and your former present becomes the past, which can't now be changed by your new future!
Nebula: Exactly!
Scott: So, "Back to the Future"'s a bunch of bullshit?

Steve: Five years ago, we lost. All of us. We lost friends. We lost family. We lost a part of ourselves. Today, we have a chance to take it all back. You know your teams, you know your missions. Get the stones, get them back. One round trip each. No mistakes. No do-overs. Most of us are going somewhere we know, that doesn't mean we should know what to expect. Be careful. Look out for each other. This is the fight of our lives. And we're going to win. Whatever it takes. Good luck.
Rocket: He's pretty good at that.
Scott: Right?

Josh: You look like Pippi Longstocking.
Cher: Well you look like Forrest Gump. Who's Pippi Longstocking?
Josh: Someone Mel Gibson never played.

David: [to a shirtless Andy, who has an incredibly hairy chest] I love your sweater. Does that come in a V-neck?

Scott: It's been a pretty wild ride. One day you're fired from Baskin-Robbins, the next, you're beating a time-travelling space-king. We did beat him, right? I mean, yeah, that's what happened. He was getting out and he didn't get out. I think.
[slows down]
Scott: But he also said something bad was coming and that everyone would die if he didn't get out. Wait, so did I just kill everyone? Is everyone gonna die because of me? Oh my God. Oh my... what did I do? What... what did I do?
Scott: [resumes walking happily] You know what? It's probably fine. Like I said, life doesn't make any sense. So maybe stop asking so many questions, Scott. Stop overthinking it.

- See you on the other side, man.
Ant: Hang on! I'm coming!

Scott: Hold on, you gave her wings?
Dr. Hank Pym: And blasters.
Scott: Wings and blasters. So I take it you didn't have that tech available for me.
Dr. Hank Pym: No, I did.

Phoebe: Rita is a massage client.
Mike: Oh, why don't you introduce me?
Phoebe: Rita, this is my husband.
Mike: Why don't you tell her my name?
Phoebe: Ok, I will. This is... this is my husband, Crap Bag.
Rita: Crap Bag.
Mike: If you need an easy way to remember it just think of a bag of crap.

Phoebe: Is this safe?
Grooberson: No, history is safe, geometry is safe, science is nuclear and hydrogen bombs, science is injecting yourself with the plague and trying to find a cure in time.
Phoebe: Science is reckless.
Grooberson: Exactly, it's punk rock.

Kang: So... do we have a deal?
Scott: No, I don't think we do.
[Kang electrocutes Scott]
Kang: Let me make this easy for you. You will bring me what I need. Or, I will kill your daughter in front of you. Then, make you relive that moment. Over and over again in time, endlessly. Until you beg me to kill you. Do we understand?
[Kang forces Scott against the wall]
Kang: I'm a man who likes to be understood.

Cassie: I had a fun weekend, Daddy.
Scott: Me too, peanut. But just wait 'til next weekend. Once I'm out of here, you and I are gonna go paint this town red. We'll have so much ice cream, we'll never stop puking.
Maggie: [pantomiming retching, he "throws up" playing cards] You're getting good at that.
Paxton: How'd you do that?

Grooberson: [Showing them a video of The Ghostbusters going to battle Gozer] None of this rings a bell?
Phoebe: It happened 20 years before we were born.
Podcast: Well, I believe it.

Pete: [to Ben Stone] Marriage is like that show Everybody Loves Raymond, but its not funny. All the problems are the same, but
[pause]
Pete: you know instead of all the funny, pithy dialogue, everybody is really pissed off and tense.

Scott: I feel like I'm hugging Godzilla.

- He's gonna tear himself in half?
- You sure about this, Scott?
Ant: / do if all the time.
- I mean, once. In a lab.
- Then I passed out.
- I'm the boss, I'm the boss, I'm the boss.

Scott: Now, we're sure this is our shrunken building and not someone else's, right?

Phoebe: Oh my god. You're rich!
Mike: No, my parents are rich.
Phoebe: Well, so? They gotta die someday.

Tony: [to Steve, referring to his 2012 self] Mr. Rogers, I almost forgot, that suit did nothing for your ass.
Steve: No one asked you to look, Tony.
Tony: It's ridiculous.
Scott: I think you look great, Cap. As far as I'm concerned, that's America's ass.

[after Phoebe punches Mike's father]
Mike: [shocked] Did you just hit my dad?
Phoebe: [smiles] Yes. I'm sorry; I've never met a boyfriend's parents before.
Mike: But you have met humans before, right?

Phoebe: I found this in my living room.
[Mr. Grooberson picks up the ghost trap]
Grooberson: Whoa! Killer replica.
Phoebe: A replica of what?
Grooberson: A ghost trap.

Dr. Bill Foster: I was partners with Hank on a project called Goliath.
Dr. Hank Pym: Excuse me? You were my partner?
Dr. Bill Foster: The only thing more tiring than going big was putting up with Hank's bullshit.
Scott: Right... I don't know. How big did you get?
Dr. Bill Foster: My record? 21 feet.
Scott: Not bad.
Dr. Bill Foster: You?
Scott: I don't...
Dr. Bill Foster: No, really. I'm curious.
Scott: 65 feet. Yeah.
Dr. Bill Foster: Whoa! Huge.
Scott: 65.
Hope: If you two are finished comparing sizes... we need to figure a way to track down the lab.

Veb: [to Scott] Wow! Big hole. How many holes do you have? I'm sorry, is that a personal question? I don't have any holes
[Quaz reads Scott's mind]
Quaz: His name is Scott Lang
[continues to read Scott's mind]
Quaz: and he has seven holes.
[Veb gasps in surprise]
Scott: [pauses in disbelief] Yeah, yeah that is right.

Veronica: What's that?
Desmond: Did she try to draw herself?
Veronica: It's a chinese character.

Manny: [Mannie interrupts Mike and Phoebe kissing] I knew you'd be here.
Mike: Oh crap.
Phoebe: Who's this?
Mike: It's my friend, Mannie. I asked him to keep me away from you.
Monica: Hey, that's what I'm doing for Phoebe.
Manny: Well you're not doing a very good job.
Monica: Excuse me?
Manny: What's with the kissing?
Monica: Hey, at least I knew where my guy was.
Manny: Yeah. Thank God you were here to oversee all the kissing.
Monica: You didn't hear the speech.
Manny: I've heard the speech. If he knew it was going to be the last time he saw her...
Monica: Hey, it was very moving. You're just heartless.
Manny: You're weak.
Monica: You're... weird.
Manny: Your pants are undone.
Monica: Oh!
Manny: Where'd they go?
[Phoebe and Mike slipped away while they were busy arguing]
Monica: Dammit!
Manny: Well we blew it.

Andy: You know how when you grab a woman's breast... it feels like... a bag of sand.
David: What?

Cassie: Trying to help people isn't dumb.
Scott: Well... I screw it up just about every time.
Cassie: So maybe you just need someone watching your back. Like a partner.
Scott: Well, she's made it clear that's about the last thing she wants.
Cassie: Who?
Scott: Hope.
[seeing her look]
Scott: Wait, who did you think?
Cassie: Me.
Scott: You?
Cassie: Don't laugh. I'd be a great partner.
Scott: Aw, peanut. Aw. You would be awesome. And if I let you, I would be a terrible dad.

Phoebe: [doing a crossword puzzle] Hey, Mike - what's the capital of Peru?
Mike: Lima.
Phoebe: No, it starts with a V and ends in an X. And hopefully with a T-O in the middle.
Mike: You know, you're right. The capital of Peru is Vtox.

Dr. Hank Pym: Last night we powered up the tunnel for the first time. It overloaded, and it shut down. But for a split second, the doorway to the Quantum Realm was opened.
Scott: And?
Hope: And five minutes later, you called. Talking about Mom.
Dr. Hank Pym: We think when you went down there, you may have entangled with her.
Scott: Hank, I would never do that. I respect you too much.
Dr. Hank Pym: *Quantum* entanglement, Scott.

Hope: We think she might have put some kind of a message in your head. Hopefully, a location. And opening the tunnel triggered it.
Scott: Your mom put a message in my head? Come on. That's insane.
Dr. Hank Pym: No, Scott. Insane is going to Germany without telling us and fighting the Avengers.

David: [David talking about his ex girlfriend] Yeah... she's adorable... fuckin' bitch.

Debbie: Well, what'd you do last Wednesday night when you said you went to see a band?
Pete: I went to the movies.
Debbie: With who?
Pete: By myself.
Debbie: What'd you see?
Pete: Spider-Man 3.
Debbie: Why do you want to go by yourself? Why didn't you ask me to go?
Pete: Because I needed to get away, you know. With work and you and the kids, sometimes I just need some time to myself.
Debbie: I need time for myself. I want time for myself, too.
[Debbie holds back tears]
Debbie: You're not the only one.
Pete: It's not that big of a deal.
Debbie: I like Spider-Man.
Pete: Okay, so let's see Spider-Man 3 next week.
Debbie: I don't want to go see it now.
Pete: Well...
Debbie: I don't want to have to ask you to ask me. I want you to just come up with it on your own.
Pete: What? I don't even know what to say. Uh, what do you want me to do?
Debbie: You just think because you don't yell that you're not mean, but this is mean.
Pete: I'm not being mean. I'm being honest. You're telling me I need to be honest. Just...
Debbie: No, you're not. You're lying.
Pete: I'm doing it because I need to keep my sanity a little bit.
Debbie: You know what? I don't want you at the house anymore. Okay?
Pete: Come on.

Dr. Hank Pym: Well, as a great writer once said, "There's always room to grow".
Scott: [realizing he's quoting from his book] You read my book?
Dr. Hank Pym: Every Goddamn Word!

Scott: You have to take me home. They could show up any second!
Hope: Relax. As far as your nanny cops know, you're still at home.
[he sees he's free of his ankle monitor]
Luis: [at Scott's house, he startled to see a giant ant on the couch] Whoa! Scotty?
Hope: He's programmed to replicate your daily routine. Nine hours in bed. Five hours in front of the TV. Two hours in the bathroom, whatever that's about.
Scott: That's totally inaccurate. And how do you know about my daily routine? Are you spying on me?
Hope: We keep tabs on all security threats, all right? And so far, the biggest one we've had is you.

- Uh, rach?
- Yeah?
- Never mind.
- Hey, you guys.
Phoebe: Hey.
Mike: Hey.
- I'll be right back.
- I gotta go to the bathroom.

Mike: [Looks at a list of people who are going to sing at the bar where he plays the piano] Up next we got Kenneth singing "I Touch Myself."
[Looks disgusted]
Mike: I'm not here to judge.

Homer: Doctor, you made me see my life of through Bart's neck.
Dr. Zander: Homer, you've made a lot of progress. I'm sure with a few years of biweekly sessions, I'm sure...
Homer: Uh, I lied about having health insurance.
Dr. Zander: And you're cured.

- Okay, anybody on our side hiding any shocking and fantastic abilities they'd like to disclose...
- I'm open to suggestions.
Ant: You wanna get to them...
- You gotta go through me.
- Uh-huh.

Scott: [a talking severed head] I know what you're thinking. I've lost weight. Thank you for noticing. But don't worry, I'm not going to let it go to my head. Sorry. I tend to process traumatic events with dad jokes.

Dr. Hank Pym: So I'm a terrible partner? Foster, he hasn't had one good idea in his unremarkable career.
Hope: But his idea about the diffractors could work, right?
Dr. Hank Pym: Fine, one decent idea. Except I eliminated the diffractors when I upgraded the suits.
Scott: So, if we had an old suit, we might be able to track down the lab?
Dr. Hank Pym: Yes, but we don't.
Scott: What if we did?
Hope: What do you mean?
Scott: I mean... life's funny.

Veronica: What are you taking pills for?
Desmond: You know, life.

Scott: I used to ask myself a lot of questions. Scott, you're an ex-con, how are you an Avenger? That doesn't make sense. But everywhere I go everyone tells me the same thing.
Café: Thank you, Spider-Man.

Josh: You want to practice parking?
Cher: What's the point? Everywhere you go has valet.

Scott: Hank Pym did say to never trust a Stark!
Tony: Who are you?
Scott: Come on, man.

Dr. Zander: Homer, to emphasize the seriousness of this situation, I'm going to turn my chair around backwards.
Homer: [screams]

- RHODES: Mayday, Mayday!
- Does anybody copy?
- We're on the lower level.
- It's flooding!
Ant: What? What?
- RHODES: We are drowning!
- Does anybody copy? Mayday!
Ant: Wait! I'm here!
- I'm here. Can you hear me?

Debbie: [to Ben and Pete at dinner] Hey, I have a really good idea. Why don't the two of you get into your time machine, go back in time and fuck each other.
Pete: Who needs a time machine?

Grooberson: [on the earthquakes] I've tried triangulating and I can't figure out where they're coming from.
Phoebe: Did you use three phones?
Grooberson: Yeah, I know how many sides are on a triangle.
Phoebe: I know, I just thought you were being obtuse.
[winks]
Grooberson: Was that a geometry joke?
Phoebe: Yes, hence the wink.
Grooberson: [laughs] That's bad... no, I like it.

Cassie: There! It's the microtreasure!
Scott: My trophy?
Cassie: It looks like treasure.
Scott: Oh, it is to me.
Cassie: I wanna take it to show and tell.
Scott: Oh, you can't do that. Can't. It never leaves the house. It's too important. This is the best birthday present you ever got me. I'm so touched you think I'm the 'World's Greatest Grandma.'"
Cassie: It was the only one they had.
Scott: Makes me wanna knit you a sweater.

Joey: [talking privately with a thick Italian accent] Last night I try to welcome you into my family; instead, you disrespect me. I cannot allow this.
Mike: Are you rehearsing for some really bad mafia movie?
Joey: [scowls] More back talk; and yes - I may be borrowing a few lines from my recent unsuccessful audition for "Family Honor 2: This Time It's Personal".
Mike: Joe, I have a lot to do today; what'd you want?
Joey: [exclaims] I want you to take this seriously! Phoebe is very, very important to me, Ok? And I want to make sure you are gonna take care of her.
Mike: [stands] Joe, I love Phoebe - she's the single most important thing in my life. I'd die before I let anything happen to her.
Joey: [smiles and pats on Mike's shoulder] That's what I wanted to hear - because she's family, OK? And now you're going to be family, and there's nothing in the whole world than family.
Mike: That must've been one lousy movie.
Joey: [offended] That was me!

Dr. Zander: Bart, I'm trying to get you to feel something for your father!
Bart: I feel something for him. Here it comes.
[he belches]
Dr. Zander: Why, you little...!
[strangling him]
Dr. Zander: Ooh, this is a tough neck. Oh, it's so strong. It's like an oak.
Homer: You see? You see how that boy pushes your buttons?
Dr. Zander: We'll talk when he's dead!

Dr. Zander: Wait a minute! You strangle your own son?
Homer: Yeah, strangling. I'ts not the only tool in my parenting arsenal, but it's the sharpest.

Barry: [as the food prepares to fire the drugged toothpicks] Make it rain.
[the food shoots the toothpicks at all the people in the store]
Darren: Ow! What the fuck? All right, who did it? Gary, did you just throw this fucking toothpick at me, man?

David: You know how I know that you're gay?
Cal: How?
David: You like the movie "Maid in Manhattan".
Cal: You know how I know you're gay?
David: How?
Cal: I saw you make a spinach dip in a loaf of sourdough bread once.
David: You know how I know that you're gay?
Cal: How?
David: You have a rainbow bumpersticker on your car that says, "I love it when balls are in my face".
Cal: That's gay?
David: [loses his second "Mortal Kombat" match] Goddamn it!
Cal: I'm ripping your head off right now. It's off. And now I'm throwing it at your body.
[David's character explodes]
Cal: [shouts] Fuck you!
David: Aww...

Phoebe: It's not as bad as it looks. Really, I was just... I was saying goodbye to an old friend.
Mike: Your lipstick's on his mouth.
David: Oh, uh - we just happen to wear the same shade.

Jonah: We got pinkeye.
Ben: Were you giving butterfly kisses or something?
Jason: Ha ha ha, very funny That's not how you get pinkeye. You get it from poo particles making their way into your ocular cavities.
Jay: Um, I farted on Jason's pillow as a practical joke. He farted on Jonah's, thinking it was mine, and then eventually pinkeyed my pillow. I'm not proud any of this, but I think we're all forgiven each other. Um, but we can't go anywhere.
Pete: You can get pinkeye from farting in a pillow?
Jonah: Totally!
Pete: That's awesome!
Jonah: Jesus, Martin got it bad. What, did someone take a dump on your eye?
Martin: No. No pinkeye for me. I'm just really... high.

Scott: Um, I don't know who you are, but you've made a big mistake. I'm an Avenger. I've called the other Avengers...
Kang: Oh, you're an Avenger. Have I killed you before?
Scott: What?
Kang: They all blend together after a while. You're not the one with the hammer, are you?
Scott: That's Thor. We get confused a lot, similar body type.

Cassie: Don't just stand there! Let's bounce before the po-po come back!
Scott: Po-po? How do you even know that?

[first lines]
Mike: Thank you guys for having us over.
Phoebe: Yeah, this is fun, couples night.
Chandler: I don't know why we don't hang out with married couples more often.
Monica: Because every time we do, you make jokes about swinging and scare them away.
Chandler: You mean that Portuguese couple? Yeah, like you wouldn't have done it.

David: [to Phoebe] Um, Phoebe, um... I have uh... something I wanna to say...
Monica: [Eavesdropping over at the next table; To Chandler] Oh my God, he's gonna do it now. Please, I cannot watch this. Lets go.
Chandler: [to Monica] I think we have some time. Have you ever heard him talk? "Uh... Phoebe, um... I would be honored if uh..." Spit it out, David!
David: [to Phoebe] Um... Phoebe, um...
[Chandler smacks himself in the face out of pity]
David: You're an amazing woman, and the time we spent apart was... unbearable. Of course the sanitation strikes in Minsk didn't help.
Phoebe: [Nods in agreement] Sure, okay, yeah.
David: But um... well now that we're together again, I don't ever want to be apart, so to that end...
[pulls out a ring from his pocket]
Phoebe: [Seeing Mike walk into the restaurant] Oh my God, Mike!
David: It's David, actually.
Phoebe: No, Mike's here.
David: [Turns around] Oh, hey Mike!
Mike: Hey, David, Chandler, Monic - whoa
[upon seeing the unpleasantness of Monica's hair]
Monica: [Cries in anger] It's the humidity!
Mike: [to Phoebe] Hi, Phoebe.
Phoebe: [to Mike] What... are you doing here?
Mike: I have a question I need to ask you.
David: [to Mike] I have a question that I was going to ask her myself.
Mike: [to David] Yea, I understand, but before you do, she really needs to hear this.
David: [Sarcastically] Okay! Would you care for my seat as well?
Mike: Actually yeah, that'd be great.
David: Well that's fair you've had a long trip.

Grooberson: [after testing the trap and unleashing a ghost, which damages the cars] We should probably get out of here.
Phoebe: You're an adult.
Grooberson: Yeah, and liable.