The Best Flo Flotsky Quotes

Flo: Y'know I finally saw that "Star Wars" movie they're all ravin' about. I dunno. In my day if they had a leading man it was Clark Gable. Today they got a little machine that goes "boop." I mean, frankly, I could have stayed home and looked at my upright vacuum cleaner.

Father: I need to talk to you, Ma.
Flo: Yeah, sure.
Father: I got a problem.
Flo: Oh, I love it. People come to priests with their problems, and look, a priest comes to his mother.

Flo: I still don't know much about you, except what I hear around, that your mother's an adultress and your father's an embezzler. You bimbo! You probably had more men than the entire Marine Corps! You've ruined my life!
[Strangles Corinne until Tim intercedes]
Tim: Ma! Ma!
Flo: [grunting and panting like an animal] You want my blessing? Is that what you came for? I'll give you my blessing. This is my blessing: May you never have a happy moment again for the rest of your life! And if you marry, may you know no such thing as peace and quiet! May you know only hardship and suffering and loss! And may you know until your dying day, whatever misfortunes happen are on your heads!
[storms into kitchen, slams door]
Corinne: [Horrified, clinging to Tim] I can't believe it!
Tim: Either can I. Actually, she took it better than I thought.