The Best Fran Sinclair Quotes

Charlene: Ugh, Mom, I just don't see why I can't go to school today.
Fran: Because it's Saturday, dear.

Fran: Robbie, quit poking your sister.
Robbie: Not until she supports her hypothesis that truth is knowable.
Charlene: I wasn't talking about imperical evidence, buttface!
Fran: Cut it out or I won't let you go to school tomorrow! I mean it!
Robbie: Whoa, we'll be good, we'll be good.
Charlene: Yeah, promise.
Robbie: Promise.

Fran: I was just at the market talking to some of the other mothers, and they said their kids are suddenly doing badly in school, they're like, zombies.
[sees Robbie, Baby and Ethyl staring blankly at the TV]
Fran: Oh this has gone on far enough, if we're going to watch something, we're going to watch the news channel, Robbie, turn on channel 8.
Robbie: Huh? Oh.
[raises the remote above his head]
Robbie: Which one's 8?
Fran: What? Oh give me that!

Salesman: Cap'n Willy, the old salt. A collectable mug from the world famous Fernhill Mint. Now you'd probably expect to pay a lot for a hand crafted work of art like this, and you'd be right. It's absurdly expensive. But can you really afford to live without it?
Earl: No.
Salesman: Then call now. And please be patient as we check your credit. Only the select few can qualify for ownership of this limited edition master work.
Earl: [Oh phone] Hello.
Phone: Name?
Earl: Earl Sinclair...
[click]
Earl: Hello?