The Best Steve Whitmire Quotes

Robbie: [Earl decides to fight Gary] Dad, are you sure about this? You saw Gary's sock.
Earl: Bring on his socks, bring on his shorts, bring on the whole hamper!

Earl: Maybe we went a little overboard with the poison.
Charlene: A little? Your stupid spray killed all plant life!
Earl: Hey, what are you complaining about? You never liked salads anyway.
Robbie: You've destroyed the global food chain! No plants means no food at all!
Earl: Nonsense! There's a wide variety of commercial snack foods which have virtually no natural ingredients.
Fran: Earl, we can't live on Ho-Ho's!
Baby: I can!

Robbie: Dad, you're going to coat the entire continent with poison? Isn't there some safer alternative?
Earl: Like what?
Charlene: Well, trim back the vines as much as we can, live with a little discomfort, and hope that nature eventually restores the balance.
Earl: That's inconvenient and time consuming, my idea is exciting and high tech.
Robbie: Yeah but have you tested this stuff to make sure it's safe?

Robbie: I want to go on record, I'm pretty sure killing Dad is wrong.

Robbie: What could possibly happen?
Kyle: Earthquake!
Gus: Flood!
Sid: Plagues!
Robbie: This isn't the Dark Ages, this is 60 million B.C. Now why don't we try not howling for once? Nothing's going to happen.
[the moon disappears]

Robbie: [watching a holiday themed paint commercial on TV] Using Refrigerator Day to sell paint kind of cheapens the holiday, doesn't it?
Charlene: Oh who's to say? That's one of those big confusing moral issues.

Robbie: [looking at old pictures] Is this me?
Grandma: Yeah, that's you on your Grandpa Louie's back, hitting him on the head with a pot.

Fran: Robbie, show your father your report card.
[goes to answer phone]
Earl: Hit me with it.
Fran: [on phone] Charlene? What?
Earl: [reading report card] F, F, F, F, F, M... M? What's an M?
Robbie: Well, halfway through grading me, the teacher forgot the alphabet.
Fran: Earl! It's Charlene, she needs a ride home.
[hangs up]
Fran: She can't remember where we live!
Earl: That doesn't prove a thing, she never was the brightest kid.
Fran: Earl, you've got to put smarter shows on the air! Everyone's gotten TOO dumb!

Woodrow: [Baby realizes that He has to save his family] No no no, stay, stay, uh... um... I got milkshakes... pixie sticks...
[Baby leaves]
Woodrow: Raw cookie dough!

Robbie: That's what I was about to tel you, Warner gave all the songs to Perry Llewellyn, he ripped us off.
Sonny: You mean he ripped *us* off. Oh Pop, you were right, you can't get a fair shake from the Lizard. I'm never leaving the swamp again.
Howlin': Hush up, I want to hear this.
TV: Order your copy of Swamp Music today, due to excessive demand, estimated delivery is 6-8 weeks.
Howlin': That guy's making a fortune with our music.
Sonny: Yeah, we got shafted!
Howlin': I know that, but you're missing the big picture. If he can get famous doing *that* to our music, just think what we could do by giving folks the real thing.
Sonny: But you *can't* trust the Lizard, Pop.
Howlin': Oh hush up about the Lizard. I spent my life moaning about what the Lizard done to me, and now I'm starting to hear the same things coming out of your mouth, and I don't like it.
Sonny: But how're we gonna release our music? The Lizard will never give us a break.
Howlin': Then we make our own breaks. There's no reason we can't cut our own records, and release them ourselves, a mammal owned record company!

Robbie: We could get the fridge back.
Charlene: [sarcastically] Oh right, Rob, let's just go to the store and swipe it, I'll take my extra large purse.

Robbie: Charlene, I'm gonna bite your head off!
Charlene: Ooh, he's not a carnivore, he's a cannibal!
[laughs]

Earl: You ever come here again I'll feed you to my family!
Roy: Yeah? Then I won't!
Earl: Good!
Roy: Fine!
Earl: Fine!
Roy: Good!
Robbie: [reading from the book of dinosaurs] Only by howling do we defeat the dark spirit which will turn dinosaur... against dinosaur... oh!

Robbie: Mom, it used to be that old dinosaurs couldn't hunt for food, now we have supermarkets, it used to be that old dinosaurs slowed down the pack, now we live in houses. So isn't throwing Grandma off a cliff just a waste of a perfectly good old lady?

Blarney: [singing with kids named Jeff and Tim] Okay here we go. I am Blarney I love you. E-I-E-I-O. And if you're nice you'll love me, too. E-I-E-I-O.
Robbie: Well, it does seem to have quiet him down a little.
Blarney: [still singing] With a love love here, and a love love there, here a love there a love, everywhere a love love.
Fran: It's interesting, he strikes a chord with children. Something about Blarney inlooses the purest feelings of warmth and affection.
Baby: [with a baby bottle on his slingshot] EAT GLASS, BLARNEY!
Blarney: [Launches the bottle at the TV] AAAAAHHHH!
Baby: [TV blows up and Fran and Robbie were shocked in surprise] DIE SUM, DIE!
Robbie: [as Baby cackles] Well, I gotta say, I'm with him.
Fran: That does it! I am fed up with your bad behavior, you are going to your room!
Baby: NO, I WANT PRESENTS!
Fran: You are going to your room, there will be no more presents.
Earl: It's present time!

Earl: You stay away from my son you pea pusher.
Robbie: Dad, so what if they eat a few peas? They're proud of who they are. You know, I have a dream that someday a dinosaur will be judged, not by the contents of his lunchbox, but the quality of his character.

Baby: You got spit up?
Earl: Yep.
Baby: You got spit up too?
Robbie: Yeah.
Baby: Did you bring me a present?