The Best Gary Quotes

Gary: This has been a terrific evening, and you are just great. And so, I'm wondering, how is it that someone like you doesn't have a boyfriend?
Shawn: Well, I haven't really been looking for a boyfriend, 'cause I've just been... going through a lot of changes.
Gary: Listen, anytime you wanna talk, I'm here to listen.
Shawn: [surprised] Thanks, that's... that's nice, Gary. I gotta have some food.
Gary: Hey, you got it. Waitress!
Cory: [Cory enters dressed as a woman] How you doin', honey?
Shawn: ...Cory?
Cory: I'm Cora, I'll be your waitress this evening.
Gary: You know, I come here a lot and I've never seen you before.
Cory: Quit hitting on me!
[laughs]
Cory: I'm just kidding! It's my first night. Besides, it looks like you're already taken, cutie!
[winks]
Shawn: [shakes his head] You're insane...
Cory: May I take your order, baby?
Gary: My usual. A double chili burger and one chocolate milkshake, with two straws.
Shawn: I'll have the same... and a steak.
[Cory and Gary looks at him]
Shawn: What?
Cory: [pinches Shawn's cheek] Well, aren't you the veracious little eater!
Gary: Gary:
[puts his arm around Shawn/Veronica]
Gary: So... are you having a good time?
Shawn: ...A little trouble breathing... you're crowding me a bit.
Gary: Oh, maybe you're just tense? How about I rub your shoulders?
[starts doing so]
Shawn: You know, I didn't ask you to do that.
Gary: Yeah, but doesn't it feel good?
Shawn: [shoves Gary away] You're not listening to me.
Gary: Whoa, you're a strong one!
Shawn: Yeah, I play a little field hockey...
Gary: I knew that, because the first thing I noticed was your legs...
[touches Shawn's leg, which makes Shawn yell and stand up]
Gary: What's the matter?
Shawn: You just don't listen! You're too busy planning your next move to hear us say no!

Gary: [to Shawn/Veronica] Hi there. I'm Gary.
Cory: Gary, this is Veronica. Veronica... Wasboyski.
Shawn: Hi!
Gary: You know, I've never seen you before. You're new in school?
Shawn: Yup, I'm just a whole new person!
Gary: Listen...
[stands beside Shawn/Veronica]
Gary: If you want, I'd be happy to, you know, take you to Chubby's and tell you what teachers to avoid, that kind of stuff... You know, unless your boyfriend already did that.
Cory: Oh no, Gary! This one is definately avaliable!

Cory: Where are you going?
Shawn: He touched me!
Cory: Where?
Shawn: On my knee! It's MY knee, what makes him think it's HIS knee?
Topanga: Maybe you sent him a signal?
Shawn: The only signal I sent him was stop!
Topanga: Sounds like he didn't listen.
Shawn: I'm not like that. I'm not! I never will be again.
Cory: Okay well here he comes.
Shawn: No, no no! I quit!
Cory: You can't, we have an article to finish!
Shawn: I should have worn a pants suit!
Gary: Look, uh, sorry I got a little... agressive. You know, nobody respects women more than me! You forgive me?
Cory: [speaking as the waitress he pretends to be] Ofcourse she forgives you! You two are just adorable together! Isn't he just delish?
Gary: [to Shawn/Veronica] Tell you what? How about I teach you how to play foosball?
Shawn: How about I teach you?
[goes ahead]
Gary: [laughs] Yeah right.
Cory: My hosery is bunching!

Shawn: [plays foosball] Nice block.
Gary: You liked that? Let me show you how I did it.
[moves to stand behind Shawn, running his hands along Shawn's arm down to his hands]
Gary: Now what you need to have...
[places his hands on Shawn's waist]
Gary: ... is a real light touch.
Shawn: Hey, hey!
[moves to face Gary]
Shawn: What is wrong with you?
Gary: I'm just showing you how to play the game!
Shawn: I know how to play the game.
Gary: Yeah, I can tell by the way you're dressed.
Shawn: I just wanted to look nice.
Gary: [puts his hands on Shawn/Veronica's shoulders] Well, you do.
Shawn: I said, don't touch me.
Gary: Okay, don't like to be touched.
Shawn: Did it ever occur to you that I might be a nice girl?
Gary: No, what I thought was that you'd be into guys! Well I guess you're not, I guess you prefer girls.
Shawn: As a matter of fact, I do.
Gary: ...what?
Shawn: I said, as a matter of fact...
[punches Gary in the face, making him fall to the ground]
Shawn: ... I do!
Gary: What was that for?
Shawn: For every girl I've ever known!
Cory: [to Gary] Uh, please pay at the register, honey. And tipping is not a city in China!
[drops check on Gary, then turns to Shawn, offering his arm]
Cory: Come on honey, we're out of here.