The Best Jack Champion Quotes

Spider: [as Kiri puts warpaint on him] I'm definitely faster when I'm blue.
Kiri: You skawng.
Spider: Seriously, and the animals respect me more. They don't think of me as human.
Kiri: Wait, you're human?
Spider: [sarcastically] Ha ha.

Quaritch: What's your name kid?
Spider: Spider, Socorro.
Quaritch: [after a long pause, leans down] Miles?
Spider: Nobody calls me that.
Quaritch: I'll be damned. I figured they sent you back to Earth.
Spider: Can't put babies in cryo, dip shit.

Spider: Okay, try this. "I See You".
Quaritch: Oe Naati Kamaeia.
Spider: Ngaati.
Quaritch: [Confused] That's what I just said, right?
Spider: Not Naati. Ngaati.
Quaritch: Ngaa. Ah, like comin' out your nose or something.

Lo'ak: [regarding how Grace's Avatar got pregnant] So who do you think knocked her up? Pretty sure it was Norm.
Spider: Totally.
Kiri: [shocked] You do not deserve to live.
Lo'ak: No, no, no. Think about it, right? I mean, he's the teacher's pet. He's out at the lab with her all the time.
Kiri: I would kill myself. I would drink acid.
Spider: [regarding the video log with Grace and Norm] Bro, you're right. He's, like, in every shot. Bro, look, look, he's giving her the looks.
Kiri: Hey.
Lo'ak: See, I'm thinking their two avatars were out in the woods all alone.
Kiri: Gross.
Spider: Guys. I mean, sometimes it's not so great to know who your father was.
[They both stare at him]
Spider: Whatever. Don't even remember him.
Lo'ak: [comfortingly] No, Spider.
Spider: Dude.
Kiri: [reassuringly] Spider... You are not him.

Quaritch: [to his Recom squad] All right, listen up. Jake Sully has gone underground, don't matter wherever he is we'll find him and his batshit crazy wife too. To do so, we go Na'vi. Full tilt all the way. That means we eat Na'vi, we ride Na'vi, think Na'vi,
[in Na'vi language]
Quaritch: And that starts with speaking the language.
Spider: [chuckling; in Na'vi language] You call that speaking na'vi? You sound like a three-year-old.
Quaritch: Alright, smart guy. You just went from being our monkey mascot to our official interpreter.

Quaritch: [to Spider] Get on the ship, find a seat and keep outta the way.
[as Spider mans a machine gun turrent]
Quaritch: Whoa, hold on there hotshot. You listen up. There's a tracker built into that mask, we hit the ground and you take off, I'll have you back here in two minutes, and I will give you a whole school ass-whippin'. Understood?
[Reaffirmingly]
Quaritch: Understood?
Spider: [non-serious tone] Yes, sir.

Dr. Garvin: [after the mother Tulkun is killed] the only way to reach the glands is from below, drill up through the heart palate into the brain. These are highly intelligent beings. Probably smarter than us.
Scoresby: Not smarter than me.
Dr. Garvin: That is setting the bar very low.
Scoresby: Hey, I'm the one with the harpoon.
Dr. Garvin: Yeah.
Spider: How do you know... that they're smarter than us?
Dr. Garvin: They have more neurons, more pathways. Not only are they smarter, they're deeply emotional. More spiritual.
[shows Spider a 3d scan of the tulkuns brain]
Dr. Garvin: This region here corresponds with our emotional centers, but proportionally it's much larger. They have music, philosophy, mathematics, complex language. Okay. Here we go.
Scoresby: [as a yellow liquid is extracted from the tulkuns brain] Show me the money.
Quaritch: So that's what this is all about?
Dr. Garvin: That's it. Amrita.
Scoresby: [after the amrita is extracted into a vial he takes it out] Bad luck for the big guys. This stuff just happens to stop human aging. Like.. stops it. Ounce for ounce, the single most valuable substance known to man. This little vile here is worth like 80 million.
[pretends to throw it]
Scoresby: Think fast!
Dr. Garvin: Please don't. It's never funny.
Scoresby: Amrita is what's paying for everything here on Pandora now. Even your research, ain't that right, Dr. G?
Dr. Garvin: It's why I drink.
Spider: That's all you take? y-You just waste the rest?
Scoresby: Drop the bags. Let's sink her.
Quaritch: No, leave the bags I want them to know it was us.
Scoresby: I charge extra for being used as bait.

[repeated line]
Spider: I don't know!

Spider: Hey.
Quaritch: Are you Scoresby?
Scoresby: Uh-huh. Are you the asshole who's commandeering my ship?
Quaritch: That would be me.