Top 50 Quotes From Jumanji

Sarah: Alan, please, last time I played this game, it ruined my life.
Alan: [laughs] It ruined your life? "In the jungle, you must wait 'til the dice read five or eight."
Sarah: I was a little girl, Alan. You disappeared, and a bunch of bats surrounded me and chased me down the street. I was afraid. I'm sorry, Alan. No one believed me. I was all alone.
Alan: So was I. For 26 years, Sarah.

Alan: Twenty-six years ago, you played a game with a little boy down the street. A game with drums.
Sarah: How do you know that?
Alan: I was that little boy, Sarah.
Sarah: [hushed] Alan...
[she falls over in a faint]
Peter: [to Alan] You killed her.

Sarah: Alan, you wrestled an alligator for me.
Alan: It was a crocodile. Alligators don't have that little fringe on their hind leg.
Sarah: My mistake.

Sarah: I thought I lost you again.
Alan: Thanks for sticking around this time.

Alan: [reads] "Beware of the ground for which you stand / The floor is quicker than the sand."
[suddenly sinks into quicksand]

Hunter: [to Alan] You miserable coward! Come back and face me like a man!
[Alan hurls a sword at Van Pelt, which halts him... briefly]
Hunter: Not good enough, Sonny Jim! I'm coming, ready or not...

[Alan and Sarah have finished the game; Sam re-enters the house]
Samuel: Forgot my speech notes.
Alan: [runs up to Sam and hugs him] I'm so glad you're back.
Samuel: I've only been gone five minutes.
Alan: [crying] It seems like a lot longer for me.
Samuel: Hey, I-I thought you told me you were never going to talk to me again.
Alan: Whatever I said, Dad, I'm sorry.
[they hug again]
Samuel: Oh, Alan, I was angry, OK? I'm sorry too, son.
[pulls Alan apart and looks down on him]
Samuel: Look, you don't have to go to Cliffside if you don't want to.
[notices Sarah, who stands up; whispering to Alan]
Samuel: Let's talk it over tomorrow. Man to man.
Alan: [whispering] How about father to son?
Samuel: Great.
[notices his speech notes]
Samuel: Hey, I gotta get going. I'm the guest of honour.
[walks towards the door; Alan turns to face him]
Alan: Dad?
[Sam opens the door and turns to face him]
Alan: Back in 196-- I mean, today in the factory, it wasn't Carl Bentley's fault. *I* put the shoe on the conveyor belt.
Samuel: [sighs and nods] I'm glad you told me, son. Thanks.
Alan: Bye, Dad.
Samuel: Goodbye.
[closes the door behind him as he leaves; Alan walks towards Sarah; his eyes widen in sudden realisation]
Alan: Holy smokes! Judy and Peter!
[turns to run]
Young: Alan!
[Alan stops]
Young: They're not there.
[shakes her head]
Young: It's 1969. They don't even exist yet.
[hands Alan the crocodile and monkey pieces; Alan looks down at them sadly]

Aunt: Peter, take this suitcase up to the attic, then we can all have ice cream.
[mumbles to herself]
Aunt: And bourbon.

Sarah: [Alan grabs her] Oh, get your hands off me!
Alan: The game is not over yet, Sarah!
Sarah: Well, it is for me! You are not in the jungle anymore. Stop this, you don't treat people like this!

[the rules of Jumanji]
Alan: [reads] Jumanji: a game for those who seek to find / a way to leave their world behind. You roll the dice to move your token, doubles gets another turn, the first player to reach the end wins.
Judy: [reads] Adventurers beware: do not begin unless you intend to finish. The exciting consequences of the game / will vanish only when a player has reached Jumanji and called out its name.

Alan: Oh, no. The game thinks I rolled.
Young: What do you mean "the game thinks"?

Judy: [about to continue the game] Ready?
Peter: Yeah.
Judy: Alan, ready?
Alan: There is no "ready."
[Judy roles the dice. Her game piece doesn't move]
Judy: I'll try it again.
[rolls the dice again. Nothing happens]
Judy: Alan, it's not working.
Alan: [inspects the game board] Oh, no. It's not your turn.
Judy: Yeah. I rolled first, and then Peter twice 'cause he got doubles, and now it's my turn again.
Alan: No, look. Two of those pieces are yours, right? Whose are the other pieces?
[spots his old game piece]
Alan: The elephant was mine. You're playing the game I started in 1969. I'm gonna have to play.
[Judy offers the dice to him]
Alan: It's not my turn.
Judy: Whose turn is it?
Alan: Sarah Whittle.

Judy: [reads] "Don't be fooled, it isn't thunder / Staying put would be a blunder."
[Judy looks at Peter, confused. Peter feels a vibration and looks towards the bookcase. Alan and Sarah continue arguing until they feel the same vibration]
Alan: You hear that? Listen.
[walks towards the bookcase, where books start falling]
Alan: Run! IT'S A STAMPEDE!
[Judy, Peter, and Sarah run out of the library]
Alan: The game!
[grabs the game and runs screaming just as a stampede breaks through the bookcase]

Judy: [reads] "A tiny bite can make you itch / Make you sneeze, make you twitch."
[Mosquitoes appear]

Peter: [reads] "His fangs are sharp, he likes your taste / Your party better move post-haste."
Judy: I don't like the sound of that.
[a lion suddenly appears]

Peter: [in horror] Judy!
Judy: What?
Sarah: What happened?
Peter: I thought I could end the game myself. I was only ten spaces away.
Judy: [reads] "A law of Jumanji having been broken / You will slip back even more than your token."
Sarah: You tried to cheat?
Peter: No, I tried to drop the dice so they'd land on twelve.
Sarah: Oh, okay, honey. Well, that would be cheating.
Judy: [in terror] Peter, your hands! Look at your hands!
[Peter sees that he is growing monkey fur on his hands as a punishment]

Alan: Where's Sir Sav-A-Lot?
Carl: Monroe and Elm!
Alan: The Episcopal Church.
Carl: No, it's not a church anymore. Now it's a Speedy Burger. Or at least it was. I don't know what's left of it. People in this town are goin' loopy.

Alan: [stuck in quicksand] Stop giving me things that come apart!

Alan: So, when can you start?
Jim: Well, actually, Martha and I were thinking of taking a little skiing holiday in the Canadian Rockies.
Alan: No!
[all is silent for a brief second]
Alan: Sorry. We just...
Sarah: ...need you to get that marketing done on the new line, pronto.
Jim: No problem. No problem. You know, I can probably start next week.

Sarah: You might've told us there was a man in there with a rifle that hunts people.
Alan: [exasperatingly sarcastic] Well, I didn't know, okay? It's just the roll of the dice!
Judy: [sarcastically] Is he the reason you didn't wanna play?
Sarah: [scoffs] You didn't want to play either, Mr. We-Started-Something-26-Years-Ago-And-Now-We've-Gotta-Finish-It?

Peter: [reads] "Need a hand? Well, you just wait / We'll help you out... we each have eight."
[Spiders appear]

Alan: "In the jungle you must wait, until the dice read five or eight". In the jungle you must wait? What's that mean?
[Sarah and Alan both scream as they witness him being pulled into the game]
Alan: Sarah! Roll the dice, Sarah!

Alan: [in terror] "A hunter from the darkest wild / Makes you feel just like a child."
Sarah: What is it?
Alan: Van Pelt.

Judy: [about a noise she just heard] Did you hear anything a little while ago?
Peter: [shakes his head] Do you miss mom and dad?
Judy: No.
Peter: Liar. If you don't cut that out, they're gonna send you to a shrink.
Judy: Where do you think they're gonna send you if you don't start talking?

Alan: [a pelican has grabbed the game] WHY DIDN'T YOU GRAB THE GAME, PETER?
[chases after pelican]
Sarah: [to a dejected Peter] Just ignore him, honey, he's a Libra.
Sarah: [calls to Alan] WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
Alan: He'll head for water!

Sarah: You just saw three monkeys go by on a motorcycle, didn't you?
Judy: Yeah.
Sarah: Good girl. Come on.

Peter: [reads] "This will not be an easy mission / Monkeys slow the expedition."

Judy: Peter hasn't spoken a word since it happened.
Mrs. Thomas: Oh. Oh, my. I'm so sorry. How terribly awful.
Judy: It's OK. We barely even knew our parents. They were always away. Skiing, gambling in Monte Carlo, on safari in darkest Africa. We didn't even know if they loved us. But when the Sheik's yacht went down, they managed to write us a really beautiful goodbye note that was found floating in a champagne bottle amongst the debris.
[Starts crying]
Judy: Excuse me.
[Judy leaves the room. Camera pans away to show that she is actually laughing at the lie she just told the Estate Agent]
Aunt: [to the Estate Agent] They were very devoted parents. Car crash in Canada.

Exterminator: Bats aren't what I worry about in this house anyway.
Judy: What would you worry about?
Exterminator: Well, personally, I wouldn't want to live in a house where someone was murdered.
Judy: Murdered?
Exterminator: Yep, little Alan Parrish. I'd say his father did it. There's 1,001 places he could've hid the body in this house - especially if he chopped it up first.

Gun: [Van Pelt enters his store] What can I do for you?
Hunter: I want a gross of these.
[hands an empty elephant gun shell to the gun store salesman]
Gun: You know, they stopped making these in 1903.
Hunter: Damn. I shall need a replacement weapon.
[sets his old rifle on the counter]
Hunter: Well, there's a waiting period, and you'll have to...
[sets down a bunch of papers for Van Pelt to sign]
Hunter: ... fill out these.
[Van Pelt sets some coins on the table]
Hunter: Or I could fill these out.
[gets Van Pelt his new rifle]
Hunter: Now, anyone asks, you didn't get this here.
[Van Pelt looks through the scope of his rifle with his finger on the trigger]
Hunter: You're not a postal worker, are you?
[Van Pelt looks at the salesman as if to say, "Excuse me?"]

Carl: [Alan jumps onto his cruiser] Get down of my car, please. And get up on the sidewalk.
Alan: What year is it?
Carl: It was brand new.
Alan: No. What *year* is it?
Judy: Uh, 1995, remember?
Alan: [in shock] '95?
Carl: You got some ID? Oh, let me guess, you probably left it in your other Tarzan outfit, right?
Alan: 26 years!
Carl: Are you from around here?
Alan: I was! But I've been in Jumanji.
Judy: Indonesia. He was in the Peace Corps.
Alan: [reads Carl's nametag] Bently.
[Carl walks over to Judy and Peter]
Alan: Carl Bently, the Soleman!
Carl: Is this man related to you?
Judy: Yes, sir. He's our uncle.
Carl: Does he always dress like that?
Judy: Well, yeah, he's a vegetarian.
[monkeys enter Carl's car]
Alan: Get out of there!
[makes monkey sounds]
Alan: Monkeys! Monkeys.
Carl: [points at his temple] Is he all right upstairs?
Judy: Uh, he suffered a head injury a few months ago.
[Alan continues to make monkey sounds to force the monkeys out of Carl's car, only for the monkeys to fire Carl's rifle and drive off]
Carl: Hey! Hey! What the... What? Don't you move!
[runs after his car]
Carl: Freeze! Hey!
Alan: "Don't move. Don't move."
[runs off]
Judy: Hey, wait a minute! Where are you going?
Alan: To find my parents!
Judy: [to Peter] Come on.
[Judy and Peter follow Alan]

Young: [reads] "At night they fly, you better run / These winged things are not much fun."
[Sarah and Alan look at each other in confusion until they hear bats echoing in the fireplace]
Young: What was that?
Alan: I - I don't know.
Young: [fearfully] Put it away, Alan!

Alan: Do you know what happened to this shoe factory?
Shoe: Yeah, it folded up, like everything else in this town. It's pretty cold out there. How about some coffee?
Alan: Why would they close Parrish Shoes?
Shoe: Well, when his kid ran away, Sam put everything he had to find him - his time, his money, everything. After a while, he stopped coming to work. He just quit caring. I don't think anybody loved his boy more than Sam did.

Sarah: [reads] 'They grow much faster than bamboo / Take care or they'll come after you'.
[Jungle plants start to grow]
Alan: Oh, great...
Sarah: [whimpers] Oh, God, tell me this isn't happening!
Alan: Oh, it is.
[Alan, Sarah, Peter, and Jud huddle close to each other in the middle of the room]
Alan: Stay away from the walls; don't touch anything. No quick movements.

[after a big vine has swiped Carl's car]
Carl: Fine! Take it!

Sarah: I have spent over 2,000 hours in therapy convincing myself that that doesn't exist. See, what happened to you was so awful I made up that whole thing.
Alan: Sarah, it was awful. It was awful. It was awful, it really was. But it was real. Real.
Sarah: No, no, no, it wasn't real, Alan. Your father murdered you and he chopped you up into little pieces.
Alan: Sarah, come on! My dad did that? My father could barely hug me, let alone cut me into little pieces.

Sarah: [after Alan got chased by Van Pelt] What is the deal with you and this guy?
Alan: He's a hunter. He kills things, that's what he does. And right now, he wants to hunt me and kill me, okay?
Sarah: Why you?
Alan: Why me? I don't know. Everything about me he finds offensive. You'd think it'd be a waste of his time. Maybe he needs something for his wall, you know, a Parrish - something to go between penguin and partridge.
Sarah: Well, have you ever thought about just sitting down and talking about your differences?
Alan: What, are you crazy? The man has a gun!
Sarah: Don't ever call me crazy, Alan! EVER! Because everyone in this town has called me crazy ever since I told the cops you were sucked into a board game.

[Alan is about to play a turn on the game, and he suddenly cracks up a joke]
Alan: Okay, it's my turn. I got it! "Colonel Mustard in the Library with a wrench."
[chuckles]
Alan: "Clue."

Alan: Sarah and I would like to get out of the floor, so it's your turn, Peter.

Sarah: [reads] "Every month at the quarter moon / There'll be a monsoon in your lagoon."
[Thunderclouds appear and open up]
Sarah: Well, a little rain never hurt anybody.
Alan: Yeah, but a lot can kill you!

Alan: What, are you crying? You don't cry, all right? You keep your chin up. Come on, keep your chin up. Crying never helped anybody do anything, okay? You have a problem, you face it like a man.
[Peter continues to cry and Alan realizes what he just said]
Alan: Hey, hey, I'm sorry, okay? Twenty-six years buried in the deepest darkest jungle, and I still became my father.

Alan: [warning Judy and Peter] You think that mosquitos, monkeys, and lions are bad? That is just the beginning. I've seen things you've only seen in your nightmares. Things you can't even imagine. Things you can't even see. There are things that hunt you in the night. Then something screams. Then you hear them eating, and you hope to God that you're not dessert. Afraid? You don't even know what afraid is. You would not last five minutes without me.

Alan: Play the game, Sarah.
Sarah: [whispering] Oh, no, no, no.
Alan: All right. Just give me the dice, and you can go home. You don't have to play.
Sarah: Oh, thank you.
[Sarah gives Alan the dice but moves his hand making Sarah roll as Alan laughs; Sarah loses it]
Sarah: Oh, my god! How could you do that?
Alan: It's the law of the jungle, Sarah. You'll get used to it.
Sarah: And I think of all the energy, I spent visualizing you as a radiant spirit.

Gun: [to Van Pelt, who is purchasing a new gun] You're not a postal worker, are you?

Sarah: Do you know what it was like to have witnessed Alan Parrish's murder? Do you think anyone showed up at my 14th birthday party?

Alan: Listen, Carl. I know it doesn't mean much after twenty-six years. But I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Carl: Sorry for what?
Alan: It's me, Alan.

[1869, Benjamin and Caleb are burying a chest]
Benjamin: What if someone digs it up?
Caleb: [dramatically] May God have mercy on his soul.

Hunter: [leveling his gun at Alan] End of the line, Sonny Jim. Game's up. Start running.
Alan: [as Sarah runs into the room] No...
Hunter: Aren't you afraid?
Alan: I'm terrified. But my father says you should always face what you're afraid of.
Hunter: [chuckles] Good lad. You're finally acting like a man.
[aims his gun at Alan]
Hunter: Any last words?
Alan: [Alan looks down and notices his game piece moving to the end of the board, after which the word "Jumanji" appears, reads it quietly] Jumanji.
Hunter: Eh?
Alan: [slightly louder] Jumanji.
[Van Pelt cocks his gun]
Sarah: [runs to shield Alan] NO, ALAN! NO!

Judy: What happened to you? You shave with a piece of glass?
Alan: What happened to you? The Clampetts have a yard sale? What do you want? I never shaved before.

Judy: [reads] "There is a lesson you will learn / Sometimes you must go back a turn."