The Best Kenny Fisher Quotes

Kenny: Those shoes!
Denise: What?
Kenny: Do they serve an orthopedic function?

Yearbook: Kenny Fisher, sign my yearbook.
Kenny: No, thanks. No time.
Yearbook: Come on. Where's your school spirit? Go, Hot Dogs!
DJ: Bitch, get a life!

[Kenny's homeboys see him display his 'love kit']
Ritchie: Aw damn, man. Our boy's a fag, yo.
DJ: Yo, who's a fag?
Kenny: Yo, both of y'all. That is a "Fragrance of Love" scented candle, bitch. Damn!

Kenny: I better double bag it. I don't know where that girl been.

Kenny: Yo, I'm just pausin' while those two hos over there scratch it out over who gets to knock the boots with me!
[clicks feet together]
Kenny: Ya know what I'm saying? Yeah!
Ritchie: What two ho's?
DJ: I don't see no ho's yo.
[Kenny and his homeboys start shoving each other around]
Kenny: Yo, what, you callin' me a liar.
DJ: Hey, yo why you shovin' cracker?
Ritchie: Yo, you better recognize, fool.
[they stop shoving]
Kenny: Why y'all gotta waste my flava? Damn!

Kenny: Yo, I gotta have sex tonight! I mean peep this - They say here ninety-two percent of the honeys at UCLA are sexually active. Ninety-two of the women in Los Angeles at UCLA walking around going, "Class... or sex? What shall I do?" Ninety-two percent, yo! Hey, you know what that means?
Ritchie: What?
Kenny: It means I gots a ninety-two percent chance of embarrassing myself. I roll up on that shorty be like, "What's up yo?" she be like, "You don't know 20 different ways to make me call you Big Poppa" cuz I don't yo.

Kenny: Let's go, boys. Time is honey.

[Kenny walks up to a stoned girl]
Kenny: Hey, whatsup?
[no reply]
Kenny: Damn, it is noisy in here. Wanna go talk outside? Should be quieter out there.
Stephanie,: Okay.
[Kenny sees that the girl's eyes are blank]
Kenny: Do you, uh... what a drink?
Stephanie,: Okay.
Kenny: Uh... how 'bout I poison it?
Stephanie,: Okay.
[Kenny sees that she's totally stoned]
Kenny: Hey, whaddya say we, uh... go upstairs and...
[another girl enters]
Candy,: Stephanie! There you are!
[to Kenny]
Candy,: Thank God you found her! She just took three thingies of herbal ecstasy and wondered off! She's so out of it, anything could have happened and she probably wouldn't even know it! God, I was so worried somebody was... well you know, taking advantage of her or something. Here, help me get her on her feet.
[Kenny helps the friend help the stoned girl stand up and the two girls walk off]
Candy,: Come on honey, I'm gonna take you to the car.
Stephanie,: Okay.

Kenny: [after he spilled water on his pants] Damn, she's gonna think I got that premature evacuation!

Kenny: 'Sup, ladies? Yo Jana, wanna dance?
Jana: I'm allergic.
Kenny: You're allergic to dancing?
Jana: Yeah.

Kenny: You got... you *have* no idea what you're talking about. You don't even know me any more.

Kenny: [to Denise Fleming] Woman, this is all *your* fault. Come bargin' in here like a friggin' moose.
[makes strange "moose" noises]