The Best Master Thespian Quotes

Master: Thank you for the lampshade.

Baudelaire: Farewell, remember me...
Master: What, aren't you coming?
Baudelaire: My crown has passed into thy hands. I shall darken the stage no more. The grave awaits! I shall live out my days in the old Actor's Home, gumming the occasional pudding.
Master: But...
Baudelaire: No, go!
Master: But!
Baudelaire: No, go!
[they mouth the same exchange once more, silently]

Baudelaire: Upstart!
Master: Pipsqueak!
Baudelaire: Amateur!
Master: Spear carrier!

Godfrey: [Master Thespian is unable to perform a single line] What are you, senile?
Master: Of course not, I haven't even seen Africa!

Baudelaire: I have killed my protégée... Howl... Howl... Howl! How 'll you ever forgive me?
Master: [gets up] No need to, I was merely acting.
Baudelaire: So was I! I fooled you, again!

Master: But how did they know I was here?
Baudelaire: Ring, ring!
Master: [picks up the receiver] Yes?
Baudelaire: Acting, again!