Top 20 Quotes From Mike

[It is Mike and Sulley's first day working on the Monsters, inc. Scare Floor]
Merv: Wazowski, good luck on your first day!
Mike: Thanks, Merv!
[Mike smiles as other monsters congratulate him as well]
Mike: Thanks, fellas!
[pauses at the line in front of the scare floor that he stepped over as a child at the start of the film]
Sulley: You coming, coach?
Mike: You better believe it.

[In the human world, Sulley is able to find Mike sitting sadly by the Pond]
Sulley: Psst Mike. Look, I'm sorry I messed up. Now let's get you outta here.
Mike: You were right. They weren't scared of me. I did everything right. I wanted it more than anyone. And I thought... I thought that if I wanted it enough I could show everybody that Mike Wazowski is something special. And I'm just... not.
[brushes his reflection away in the water]
Sulley: Look, Mike, I know how you feel.
Mike: [angrily] Don't do that! Please don't do that! You do not know how I feel!
Sulley: Mike, calm down.
Mike: Monsters like you have everything! You don't have to be good! You can mess up over and over again, and the whole world loves you!
Sulley: Mike!
Mike: You'll never know what it's like to fail, because you were born a Sullivan!
Sulley: Yeah I'm the Sullivan! I'm the Sullivan that flunked every test, the one who got kicked out of the program, the one who was so afraid to let everyone down that I cheated! And I lied!
Sulley: [sighs] Mike, I'll never know how you feel. But you're not the only failure here.

Don: Sherrie and I are engaged.
Mike: Who's Sherrie?
Squishy: [Embarrased] She's my Mom.
Don: Don't worry, Scott. I don't want you to think of me as your new dad. After all, we're fraternity brothers first.
Squishy: This is so weird.
Don: Just think of me as your big brother that's marrying your mother. Wait, hold on, we're brothers who share the same mom slash wife. That's worse.

Dean: [after kicking Sulley off the Program] And, Mr. Wazowski, what you lack is something that cannot be taught. You're not scary. You will not be continuing in the Scare Program.
Mike: Please, let me try the Simulator. I'll surprise you.
Dean: Surprise me? I doubt that very much.

[On the First Morning in the Oozma Kappa Fraternity home, Mike's lips press against Sulley's hand, and Sulley falls off the bunk after the alarm goes off]
Sulley: What happened?
Mike: Your grubby paw was in my bed!
Sulley: Were you kissing my hand?
Mike: [laughs] No! And what about you with all your shedding?
Sulley: I don't shed.
Mike: Really?
[punches the mattress of the top bunk and Sulley's hair falls everywhere]

Sulley: I act scary, Mike. But most of the time, I'm terrified.
Mike: How come you never told me that before?
Sulley: Because we weren't friends before.

Mike: My chances are just as good as yours
Sulley: You're not even in the same league with me.
Mike: Just wait, hotshot. I'm gonna scare circles around you this year.

[Mike hasn't had luck finding someone to join his team to compete in the Scare Games and get back into the Scaring Program]
Greek: This doesn't look good. We really need to move on, your team doesn't Qualify.
Sulley: Yes it does.
[Climbs onto of a nearby vehicle]
Sulley: The star player has just arrived.
Mike: [Surprised] No No No. Please, anybody but him.
Greek: [Losing her Patience] Look, we're shutting down sign ups, OK? Is he on your team or not?
[Mike, aware that he signed up at the Last Minute, knows he hasn't got much a choice, seeing that no-one else is interested in joining his team, and he's really determined to get into the Scare Games to prove Dean Hardscrabble that he and his team really are scary. Sulley points at him and winks]
Mike: Fine. Yes, he's on my team.
[the Crowd starts to cheer, with the Scare Games about to start]

Johnny: Enjoy the attention while it lasts, boys. After you lose, no one will remember you.
Mike: Maybe. But when you lose, no one will let you forget it.
Chet: Oh, boy. That is a good point.

[In the First Challenge of the Scare Games, Mike and Sulley arrive badly stung from the Glowing Purple Urchins at the finish line, just behind the RORs]
Chet: Way to blow it, Oozmas!
Mike: Hey, 2nd place ain't bad.
Greek: [Jaws Theta Chi arrive behind them, unharmed] 2nd place, Jaws Theta Chi!
Mike: *What*?
Johnny: Your whole team has to cross the finish line.
Greek: 3rd place, EEKs. 4th place, PNKs. 5th place, HSS. And in last place...
[the rest of Mike and Sulley's team arrive, even more badly stung from the urchins than they are]
Greek: ...Oozma Kappa!
Greek: [Removing Oozma Kappa's name from the Leaderboard] Oozma Kappa have been eliminated!
[Dean Hardscrabble approaches a surprised and upset Mike, smiling]
Dean: Don't look so surprised Mr. Wazowski. It would've taken a miracle for...
Greek: Attention everyone, we have an announcement. Jaws Theta Chi have been disqualified.
[Holds up a tin of Protective Gel that they've been using]
Greek: The use of illegal protective gel is cause for elimination.
Big: What?
[the referee removes the moisture from George Sanderson's leg, then stabs it with an Urchin, causing it to swell up like a balloon, with George screaming in pain]
Greek: [Removing Jaws Theta Chi from the Leaderboard and adding Oozma Kappa back on] Which means that Oozma Kappa's back in the games - it's a miracle!
Dean: Your luck will run out eventually.
[Walks away]
Mike: This is gonna be harder than I thought.

[the RORs are selling all kinds of media with the humiliating photo of Oozma Kappa from their party the previous night]
Mike: Hey, what do you think you're doing?
Johnny: Raising a little money for charity.
Mike: Yeah, well stop it!
Johnny: You want us to stop raising money for charity? That's not cool.
Chet: This guy hates charity
Mike: [angrily] We'd like you to stop making us look like fools.
Johnny: Hey, you're making yourself look like fools. Lets be honest, boys. You're never gonna be real scarers, cause real scarers look like us. But hey, if you really wanna work for a scaring company, they're always... hiring in the mail room.
[Johnny shows Mike and his team an advertisement in the Newspapers for the Monsters, Inc. Mailroom]

[Mike has received his Student ID Card, though it only shows the Top of his Head]
Mike: I can't believe it.
Mike: [Out Loud] I'm Officially a COLLEGE STUDENT!

Mike: Um, h... hello? Fellas?
[as he and Sulley walk down the basement into a candlelit are, where O.K fraternity surround it, wearing black cloaks]
Don: Do you pledge your souls to the Oozma Kappa brotherhood?
Mike: [Terri and Terry hit Mike with a cricket bat] OW!
Terry: Do you swear to keep secret.
Terri: All that you learn here?
Art: No matter how horrifying?
Sulley: [Squishy hits Sulley with cricket bat] Hey!
Squishy: Will take the scared oath of the...
[initiation interrupted by someone, turning on the lights]
Don: For crying out loud.
Ms. Squibbles: Sweetie! Turn the lights on when you're down here. You're going ruin your eyes.
Squishy: MOM, WE'RE DOING AN INITIATION!
Ms. Squibbles: Oh, scary! Well, carry on. Just pretend I'm not here
[turns off half the lights, and walk downstairs to the washing machine]
Squishy: This is my mom's house. Do you promise to look out for your brothers?
[Mrs. Squibbles turns on the laundry dial loudly]
Squishy: No matter what the peril?
[Laundry machine runs noisily]
Squishy: ... WILL YOU DEFEND OOZMA KAPPA? NO MATTER HOW DANGEROUS? NO MATTER HOW INSURMOUNTABLE THE ODDS MAY BE? FROM EVILS BOTH GREAT AND SMALL? IN THE FACE OF UNENDING PAIN AND... OH FORGET IT! You're in.

Sulley: [Introducing himself] James P. Sullivan.
Mike: Mike Wazowski.

Mike: I've been waiting for this my whole life! I'm gonna be a scarer!

[while trying to find someone to join his team for the Scare Games, Mike spots his Roommate Randy in the Crowd]
Randy: Excuse me. I'm running a little late.
Mike: Randy! Thank goodness, I need you on my team.
Randy: Sorry Mike. I'm already on a team.
[Randy walks out of the crowd, revealing a ROR Jacket that he received after Sulley was kicked out of their team, much to Mike's shock]
Randy: I'm finally in with the cool kids, Mike. Don't blow this for me.
Johnny: [Calling out] Hey Boggs, over here.
[Randy walks over to the Rest of the RORS]
Johnny: Do your thing.
[Randy turns invisible, leaving only his jacket visible]
Chet: Woah, where did he go?

Sulley: You're wasting your time. We need a new team.
Mike: We can't just 'get a new team'! I checked this morning, it's against the rules.

Mike: [Before the First Scare Games Challenge starts] Squishy. We're not gonna lose, because we have everything we need to win right here.
[points to his chest]
Squishy: [smiling] Heart.
Mike: No, me! I'm gonna win the race for us.

[Mike and Sulley are working in the mail room at Monsters Inc]
Yeti: Alright, newbies. Quit goofing around. I'll have you know that tampering with the mail is punishable by banishment.
Sulley: Yes Sir.
Mike: We're right on it Mr. Snowman.

[as Mike approaches his dorm, his roommate pops out]
Randy: Hey there, Im your roommate! Names Randy Boggs, Scaring major!
Mike: [laughs] Mike Wazowski, Scaring major.
Randy: I can tell were gonna be best chums, Mike. Take whatever bed you want, I wanted you to have first dibs.
[a monster student bumps into him, making him yelp and turn completely invisible, with only his glasses remaining visible]
Mike: [gasps] You just disappeared.
Randy: [turns visible again] Sorry. If I do that in scaring class, I'll be a joke.
Mike: No, its totally great, you gotta use it.
Randy: Really?
Mike: Yeah, but lose the glasses, they give it away.
[Randy removes his glasses, and his eyes start to squint]