The Best Ozark, Season 1, Episode 5 Quotes

Buddy: Don't swim past that red buoy. Boats come out of nowhere, they'll sweep you up in their wake. Take a month to fish out all your tender little bits and pieces. Not that I'd miss you, but if you cost me the last good month of boating in my life, I promise I'll piss on your grave every last day until I die.
Charlotte: Yeah, well, what makes you think they'd find enough to bury me before you drop dead?

- I'm not fucking playing.
- I know you're not.
- And I know you got this rage inside of you that you gotta... put somewhere.
- Just put it right here instead.
- You're a fucking psycho, you know that?
- Hey. Fuck. Fuck!
- Hey, hey, hey. Calm down.
- Calm down. Look at me. Look at me!

- Yeah!
- Whoo!
- Whoo!

- Unfortunately, I don't think that my employer would allow it.
- You haven't heard my terms yet.
- Business is business.
- Yeah.
- Good talking to you.
- You too, sir.

- Uh, bathroom's down the hall, to the left.
- Thanks.

- He asked me if I loved his dad.
- Oh, yeah?
- What did you say?
- That I didn't.
- -Was that the truth?
- -Yes.
- Okay.

Buddy: [teaching Noah to shoot] Now that's what I love about watermelon. They
[cocks rifle]
Buddy: approximate the water content of a human body.
[shoots the watermelon]
Buddy: Not that I advocate that, but...
[chuckles]

- -Me?
- -Yeah.
- Just through the holiday weekend.
- I gotta work at the Blue Cat.
- Well, it'll be fucking slammed here.
- I'll make it worth your while, cash-wise, I promise.
- You got any questions, just give me a call. Okay?
- You'll be fine.

- I have no idea.
- Well... keep the change.
- Hope to see you around.
- All right, we're good to go.
- Party cove, here we come!
- Yeah, I'm over here!

Martin: Well, obviously, I didn't kill anyone.
Ruth: I know. If you're a killer, then I'm fucking Snow White. And I don't see any dwarfs around.

- Competition's good for you.
- It builds character.
- Well, we all know why you're here.
- What was that you said?
- It's okay. Tell me.
- Bobby Dean turns up dead, and now you're in charge?
- Don't deny it.
- We all know who your daddy is.

- Hmm.
- Well, my wife's talking to her dead lover's son.
- Thanks. What about your...
- -Fuck of the week?
- -Yeah.
- Yeah, well, company's better out here.
- Thanks.

- My dealings with Bobby Dean were amicable.
- I offered him an above-market price for a failing business.
- Well, this place has a history of chewing up men who come in here thinking they're smarter than us.
- Far more formidable men than you.
- I expect to see that bill of sale on my desk first thing tomorrow.

- Take a month to fish out all your tender little bits and pieces.
- Not that I'd miss you... but if you cost me the last good month of boating in my life,
- I promise I'll piss on your grave every last day until I die.
- Yeah, well, what makes you think they'd find enough to bury me before you drop dead?

- What were you running from?
- You moved here, right?
- What did you do?
- Now, hold it still.
- You let the barrel slip
- 'cause you weren't staring through the shot.
- You gotta keep aiming at the target even after the smoke clears.

- Okay. Just...
- --You're drunk.
- Fuck.
- And?

- Mm-hmm.
- Every one we've found so far has been up in the hills.
- Way above the waterline.
- --We must be due one hell of a storm.
- It'll start before sunset.
- Guess we won't have to water the crop.

- Mason!
- Ash is here to help with the boat.
- I'll be in in a second.

- --♪ Everything will be just fine ♪
- -

- Anyone else got shit to say about my daddy?
- Hmm?
- Then get back to work.
- We got a shit-ton of money to make this weekend.

- It was an expression.
- Was it?
- Let me... Let me make this very clear.
- It's better for all of us if we can just call this an overdose.
- Understood.
- You have a good day.

- You tell anybody about this,
- I'll fucking kill you.
- You really need to work on your pillow talk.

- Hey, no lap dance for you.
- Yeah... free money.
- That was good. Huh.

- -♪ Thy power throughout ♪
- -Ash is here to help with the boat.
- Be there in a sec.
- As long as we distribute on the water... the cops can't touch us.
- They've been trying to tame this place 200 years, and when they couldn't, they figured they'd try and flood us out.

- Um, I don't know.
- But I would like to use the bathroom.
- Um, yeah. There's a really nice one up the road I want to show you.
- There something wrong with yours?
- -No, it's just... guys.
- -Yeah.
- It's fine.
- Just, uh... Just don't mind the mess.

Jacob: Man cannot tame what God wishes to be wild.

- Why'd he drive all the way down from Chicago?
- Because he suspects.
- Okay, what does he suspect?
- And I'll need some specifics, Wendy.
- He doesn't believe his father committed suicide.
- And he's talking to the police.

- I'm not a fucking fag.
- Okay.
- You know,
- I don't want to have to fight you.
- Hey.
- Stop, stop. Stop! Stop!

- I thought you weren't interested in fishing with me anymore.
- Well, you planning on paying me for my time?
- Of course.
- Money's money.
- All right. Well... just give me a call, then.

- Oh, is my money-laundering mother really playing morality police here?
- Okay. But... you have to cover yourself up.
- Okay.
- -If I text you, you text me back.
- -Yes.
- -And you be careful.
- -Always careful.
- -You be careful. Be very, very careful.
- -Okay, goodbye.

- You know, to feel helpful.
- Mm.
- And not just during the summer.
- And not just people who own boats.
- Let us help you.
- I mean, we just want to pay for it.
- But... but your congregation should build it.
- Let them learn what they're capable of.

- I have a family.
- Maybe he was trying to protect me.
- So you expect me to believe that my father... loved you so much that he...
- -took his own life when you left?
- -I'm just telling you what I know.
- Did you love him?