The Best The Office, Season 7, Episode 2 Quotes

Phyllis: I'm glad Michael's getting help. He has a lot of issues and he's stupid.

Ryan: Psychiatrists tend to be more crazy than their patients. Therapists are whores. Psychiatry is a narcissism machine. I learned more from Dr Suess than Dr Freud. Earth. You don't have to be crazy to live here, but it helps. I don't know, just use the best one.

Pam: The first lesson of watching World Poker Tour at 2 A.M.: You play the opponent, not the cards.

Kelly: [in the "confessional"] Disposable cameras are fun, but it seems a little wasteful. You never get to see your pictures.

- Prove it.
- What... no. We're gonna head outside.
- Just give it a whirl. I just wanna see how it works.
- No, no, no, l_ butlwiteh you hus.
- If this works out, I think we're looking real good.
- I promise you, that door locks.

Dwight: Now that I own the building, I'm looking for new sources of revenue. And a daycare center... Ha ha ha
[laughing maniacally]
Dwight: Well I guess it's not an evil idea. It's just a regular idea. But there is no good laugh for a regular idea.

Michael: Toby, can I really tell you anything?
Toby: Of course.
Michael: Well, the other night, I was sitting at the table eating my penis - I mean peas. That was weird. Ah, that's weird. I think it all stems from the fact that I was... I was probed. By an alien life force. An A.L.F. ALF. You know I might've actually been probed by ALF. You might think he's a puppet. You never see the lower half, but there's a lower half.

Dwight: Boycott the Steamtown mall! Everyone, you heard me. Cancel all your business with the Steamtown mall!
Phyllis: The mall itself, or the stores in the mall?
Dwight: All of it! The mall, the stores, the kiosks.
Ryan: America's one big mall!

Jim: That's a really good idea Kelly.
Kelly: What did I say?
Kelly: [in the "confessional"] I talk a lot, so I learn to tune myself out.

Dwight: I am a beet farmer, i- good sir. I happen to have been working a very long day that day, when I came to your fine esta- you are s- I'm gonna m- okay. Listen. You can't treat thank you good morning sir!

Michael: We're gonna leave the blinds open, so everybody can see what a big failure you are.

Pam: Say it. Say that I'm lying or say I have the job. Make a definitive statement, Gabe.
Gabe: Statements of such a nature, while they have their place, are overused in a competitive business environment.
Pam: Great. Well, let me know if you need a new chair or anything that an office administrator can handle
Gabe: Will do.