The Best The Wire, Season 4, Episode 1 Quotes

Chris: Don't fret, boss. I got you covered. Quick and clean, I promise...

- What are you, a smart ass?
- Sorry. I didn't mean nothing.
- Don't I know you?
- I'm running for mayor.
- Tommy carcetti, first district.
- I'll come back through in about 20, councilman.
- Do me a favor and take it down the road.

- keep him in the hole in the hole down in the hole down in the hole keep him in the hole keep him in the...
- Down in the hole down in the hole keep him in the hole keep him in the...
- Down in the hole down in the hole

- In particular, I ain't all that kindly.
- So you're gonna take my check and run with my fucking campaign...
- Well, I do know who pays me.
- Yes, sir! Oh yes, sir, boss!
- Who are you gonna vote for?
- Royce? Tony gray?
- One of them brothers. [Sniggers]
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. [Laughs]

- They gone, marlo. Just say so.
- That what you think? Just do 'em all?
- Take their fucking corner too.
- What do I want with some off-brand hilltop corner?
- And why I need to be stacking bodies when there ain't no one trying to war with us?
- Just Lex.
- He did one of ours, so he got to fall.

- For his commitment to the city of Baltimore.
- Ed?
- Mr. Mayor, I want to thank you and your administration for making this next stage of redevelopment for Baltimore's harbor a reality.
- You talk about vision and commitment, mayor Clarence Royce.

- What you looking at?
- Fucking crazy.
- Like I'm really gonna give that motherfucker a ride to woodlawn. Shit.
- Help! Somebody help!
- What's up, patrice?

- The first thing to look at...
- Drink a lot. Think about water running.
- And that way, you know...
- How the fuck you know what water running be like?
- Water been off in your house since last year.
- Man, that's cold.
- Yeah, na'.
- Shit. I'm ready.

- See? We're right here.
- And a very good evening to you, officer colicchio.
- Fuck yourself with a 40, shitbreath.
- What the fuck was all that about?
- You can't bust every head, Tony.
- I can't?
- Bust every head, who are you gonna talk to when shit happens?

- Come on, pretty boy. Come on.
- You don't have to go home but you can't stay here. Come on. Let's go.
- That's home?
- Yeah. That's it.
- There we go, little trouper.
- 6:30 tomorrow morning. Don't make me drag you out of bed like you did yesterday.
- Mm-hm.

- I want you to write me out a check for $4,000, the maximum allowed by law, and because we don't trust you to mail that check, we're gonna send over some dpw workers to beat the check out of you.
- All finished? You need $30,000...
- In the next three hours.
- No bullshit, Tommy.
- You hit your number or die in this room.

[Laughs] I'm gonna go with this right here, man. How much I owe you?
- $669 plus tax.
- No, no. You just pay at the register.
- No, man, you go and handle that for me, man. And keep the rest for your time.
- This is $800.
- 80 what, man?
- You earned that buck like a motherfucker, man. Keep that shit.

- So this is me?
- This is you.

[Terri] You're letting it ring?
- You're not hanging up after a ring or two?
- I'm making the calls, Terri. Nobody's home.
[Terri] 30,000, Tommy.

Councilman Thomas 'Tommy' Carcetti: You really think they're gonna vote for the white guy?
Norman Wilson: Black folks been voting white for a long time. You come correct, we listen. It's y'all that don't never vote black.
Carcetti's: Shit, you got my vote, anyway.
[Norman chuckles]
Councilman Thomas 'Tommy' Carcetti: I don't have your vote, Norman?
[Norman just gives him a sly look and laughs]
Councilman Thomas 'Tommy' Carcetti: You're my deputy campaign manager and I don't have your vote?
Norman Wilson: Last white man I could vote for was Bobby Kennedy. And you ain't no Bobby K.
Councilman Thomas 'Tommy' Carcetti: I thought you just said...
Norman Wilson: I was speakin' in general about the kindly nature of black folks. In particular, I ain't all that kindly.
Councilman Thomas 'Tommy' Carcetti: So you're gonna take my fuckin' check, and run with my fuckin' campaign...
Norman Wilson: Well, I do know who pays me, yassuh! Oh, yassuh, boss!
Councilman Thomas 'Tommy' Carcetti: Who you gonna fuckin' vote for? Royce? Tony Gray?
Norman Wilson: One of them brothers.
[Norman and the driver crack up laughing; Carcetti smiles as he realizes they're just messing with him]
Councilman Thomas 'Tommy' Carcetti: Yeah, yeah, yeah...

- Yeah, I know he does.
- No. The hell with Norris.
- You're my real partner,
- Lester. My life partner.
- Don't tease, bitch.
- Look at that bow-legged motherfucker.
- I made him walk like that.

Slim: B, let's roll.
- Hey, Lex, man, I'm gonna give you the truth because you need the truth.
- That boy marlo got the world by the ass and fruit, he work for Mario.
- So I'm saying, fuck that bitch.
- Pffff. And move on.
- That's just the way it is.
- Yeah.
- It's just the way it is, man.
[Man] Pandemic! Pandemic!

- All this trash. Rats everywhere.
- Houses vacant.
- We keep trying to get them to come and clean this up.
- I guess that's too much like right.
- Well, Royce won't let the city agencies take any of my constituent calls.
- But let me see what I can do.
- Come on, let me show you this down here.

- Think so?
- Shit. Makes me think about retirement and I only got nine years on.
- When do you break ground?
- Next march, if I have my permits.
- Which reminds me, on Tuesday I have to go to Delaware to see my contractor.
- No problem. Me and Lester, we'll cover for you on that. No problem at all.

Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland: The hell with Norris. You my real partner, Lester. My life partner.
Det. Lester Freamon: Don't tease, bitch.

- So you get out all right?
- Yeah. Hurt my ankle going round a corner but...
- But you got away, then?
[Man on radio] The lieutenant governor...
- I know, we're late...
- Ain't no thing. You did good here.
- Turn that bullshit off.

- full auto, no kickback, nail-throwing mayhem, man.
- Shit right here is tight.
- Fuckjust nailing up boards.
- We could kill a couple motherfuckers with this.
- You laughing. I've been schooled, dog.
- All right. All right.
- For real.

- Deez?
- Yeah, deez nuts.
- Fuck.
- Damn.
- Shit.
- Yo, yo. Come on.
- Yeah, come on.
- Get him, y'all!

[Terri] A lot can happen between now and election day.
- I've been ahead further than Royce is and lost.
- I can't win this.
- Tommy, where the fuck you going?
- I'm your ride home, man.
- The man can read a poll.

Felicia: God... damn.
Hardware: I see you got the Dewalt cordless. Your nailgun, Dewalt 410.
Felicia: Yeah. The trouble is, you leave it in a truck for a while, need to step up and use the bitch, the battery don't hold up, you know?
Hardware: Yeah, cordless'll do that. You might want to consider the powder-actuated tool. The Hilti DX 460 MX or the Simpson PTP. These two are my cadillacs. Everything else on this board is second best, sorry to say. Are you contracting, or just doing some work around the house?
Felicia: No, we work all over.
Hardware: Full time?
Felicia: No, we had about 5 jobs last month.
Hardware: At that rate, the cost of the powder-actuated guns justifies itself.
Felicia: You say power?
Hardware: Powder.
Felicia: Like gunpowder?
Hardware: Yeah. The DX 460 is fully automatic, with a .27 caliber charge. Wood, concrete, steel to steel... She'll throw a fastener into anything, and for my money, she handles recoil better than the Simpson or the P3500. Now, you understand what I mean by recoil ?
Felicia: Yeah, the kickback. I'm with you.
Hardware: That's right.
Felicia: .27 caliber, huh?
Hardware: Yeah, not large ballistically, but for driving nails, it's enough. Any more than that, you'd add to the recoil.
Felicia: Man, shit. I seen a tiny-ass .22 round-nose drop a nigger plenty of days, man. Motherfuckers get up in you like a pinball, rip your ass up. Big joints, though... Big joints, man, just break your bones, you say, "fuck it." I'm gonna go with this right here, man. How much do I owe you?
Hardware: Six-sixty-nine plus tax.
[Snoop counts out a stack of cash]
Hardware: No, no, you just pay at the register.
Felicia: Nah, man, you go ahead and handle that for me, man. And keep the rest for your time.
Hardware: This is $800.
Felicia: So what, man? You earned that buck like a motherfucker, man. Keep that shit.

[Carver and Colicchio pull up to Bodie's corner and get out of the car]
Sgt. Ellis Carver: Where's the love, Bodie? Where is the muthafuckin' love?
[to Colicchio]
Sgt. Ellis Carver: I go back so far with this kid, I was chasin' him through juvy.
[to Bodie]
Sgt. Ellis Carver: But does any of that matter when we roll up here? I get so much as a wave, a nod, a smile? Nothin'?
[Bodie hawks and spits, but says nothing]
Sgt. Ellis Carver: How 'bout just "hello"?
Preston: Hello.
Sgt. Ellis Carver: See? That wasn't so hard, was it?
[he turns to Lex, who is sweeping the sidewalk and trying hard not to be noticed]
Sgt. Ellis Carver: Lex, my man, how's your day goin'? Not to criticize or anything, but I think you missed a spot there.
[he turns to Little Kevin and Reesy]
Sgt. Ellis Carver: Little Kevin, how's it hangin'? Reesy, you look like someone just shot your dog. You all right, man? You okay?
[he turns back to Bodie]
Sgt. Ellis Carver: Reesy still messin' up the count?
Little: [to Reesy] You hear what he said?
Sgt. Ellis Carver: Yo, dawg, you send him up to Lamelle next month, I'll make sure Ms. Davis puts him in remedial math, and we'll have done some good here today.
[Bodie chuckles]
Reesy: [chuckling] He's fuckin' got me.
[McNulty pulls up in his squad car and gets out]
Off. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Everything good?
Sgt. Ellis Carver: Yeah, just words.
Off. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: [to Bodie] Mr. Entrapment. How you doin'?
[Bodie sighs and rolls his eyes]
Off. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: Don't look like that, I'm still dining out on that story.
[to Carver]
Off. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: You know how he beat the wiretap a year ago? Claimed entrapment when he was clockin' in Bunny Colvin's Hamsterdam. Shit you not. Smart kiddo. I loved it.
[to Bodie]
Off. James 'Jimmy' McNulty: When I roll back in an hour, this corner's bone-dry. Your people are done for the day.
[he gets back in his car and drives away]
Sgt. Ellis Carver: Okay, so let's try this again: I say, "Have a good evening, Mr. Broadus."
Preston: And a good evening to you, Sergeant Carver.
Sgt. Ellis Carver: See?
[he taps his forehead, and he and Colicchio walk back to their car]
Preston: [sarcastically] And a very good evening to you, Officer Colicchio.
Off. Anthony Colicchio: [viciously] Fuck yourself with a forty, shitbreath.
[to Carver]
Off. Anthony Colicchio: The fuck was all that about?
Sgt. Ellis Carver: Can't bust every head, Tony.
Off. Anthony Colicchio: [chuckling] I can't?
Sgt. Ellis Carver: Bust every head, who you gonna talk to when the shit happens?

- Hold up, Tony.
- Look, man. We gotta talk. I feel bad about the way things have turned out but if you're elected then I'll do whatever I can to help you.
- And if I get in, I'm gonna need your help.
- I mean, it's not personal, Tony.
- Fuck you, Tommy.

- Nah, I'm good. I got to go.
- All right.
- Hey, Randy. That pigeon wasn't a homer.
- Homers got metal things around their leg.
- That way you can tell them from the other birds.
- How you know that?
- Nemo let me clean out his Coop sometimes.
- So... he was schooling me.

- She won't show me till it's all broke down but, yeah, I deserve a bump, don't I?
- Four more weeks, Jen.
- Quality time with the wife and kids.
- That's what, four minutes?
- More like six.
- Six.
- Shit, I could have got laid.

- Say hey to beadie and the ankle-biters.
- Dinner?
- Located in high-rise structures, as well as residences are detailed alongside...
- Thanks, santy.
- This horseshit? You serious?
- Back to school for the kids.

- We're low on quicklime, man.
[Second man] Doesn't matter.
- We got vacants on both sides.
- He'll stink is all.
- Chris, please.
- Don't fret, boss. I got you covered.
- Quick and clean, I promise.
- Chris.

[Woman] Woo! Oh, my goodness.
- So what are you watching, then?
- Anything on the tube?
- No fucking way.
- They got enough power in the line-up.
- What they need is pitching.

[Man] Thank you, sir.
- Just one moment, ma'am.
- You seen hoskins?
- Lieutenant went upstairs already.
- Step through, please.

Det. Thomas 'Herc' Hauk: [after Council President Nareese Campbell walks by] Council President's hot as balls!
Security: I'd fuck you to fuck her.
Det. Thomas 'Herc' Hauk: You don't think that means your a fag or nothin.
Security: It's just an expression.

- I see you changed clothes.
- He had to. He was stinking.
- Randy, that was the stupidest thing you ever thought of.
- But it was kind of funny.
- You know what I'm saying?
- You want something before he bounce? I'm buying.
- One for every soldier that stood tall.
- I was down there.
- Yeah, fuck you, Duke.

- Madam president.
- Council president's hot as balls.
- I'd fuck you to fuck her, man.
- Yeah?
- You'd fuck a guy for a chance to fuck a hot broad?
- You don't think that makes you a fagot?
- It's just an expression, man.

Off. Michael Santangelo: [to speaker of Western District's briefing on counter-terrorism] No disrespect to your appendix, but if them terrorists do fuck up the Western, could anybody even tell?
[All the other officers laugh]

- Been on this detail how long?
- Eight months.
- Eight months with Clarence Royce.
- So let me ask, are you ready to take a bullet for the mayor of Baltimore?