Top 50 Quotes From Face/Off

Dietrich: [as the FBI raids Troy's hideout apartment] God damn. My place is getting FUCKED up.
Castor: Ha HA HA HA HA Ha!

Castor: [while holding a gun to the pilot's head] Fly bitch!

Castor: [cutting his face with glass shard] You are right, Sean. I misbehaved. I have to be punished. But remember... Every time when you look in the mirror, you'll see my face.

[Tito, Sean Archer's best friend was killed by Castor Troy]
Buzz: Listen, sir... we just want you to know...
Wanda: We're all really sorry about Tito.
Castor: [as Sean Archer] Yeah, well, shit happens.

Jamie: HOLD IT!
Castor: Good girl, Jamie. SHOOT HIM!
Sean: Honey, don't listen to him. He's not your father.
[Archer's original voice]
Sean: Hear my voice. I'M YOUR FATHER!
Castor: Use your eyes, Jamie and shoot him!
Sean: Don't shoot. Just don't...
Castor: This scumbag, this SCUMBAG shot your BROTHER Jamie. SHOOT HIM!
[Jamie shoots Archer in the shoulder]

Castor: [during an interview with a news reporter] Interception! Now our side's got the ball. Sorry!

Castor: [to agent Winters as she poses as a flight attendant] Y'know, I could eat a peach for hours.

Sean: [as Castor Troy] This is between us. Leave them out of it.
Castor: [as Sean Archer] No. You should have left them out of it. Your son was an accident. I wanted to kill you. But, you took it too personally. Why couldn't you just kill yourself or let it go?
Sean: [as Castor Troy] No father could.
Castor: [as Sean Archer] No brother could either.
Sasha: [coming in] Neither could a sister.

Sean: [over the phone with Victor] When we put this thing to bed, you can brand the fourth amendment on my butt.

Castor: [whispering into a choir's girl's ear] I never really enjoyed the Messiah, in fact, I think it's fucking boring. But your voice makes even hack like Handel seem like a genius.
[sings "Hallelujah" along with the choir, then grabs the girl's butt and orgasms]

Castor: [as Sean Archer] Sasha, baby, I'm Castor. That's Archer.
Sasha: And I'm bored. Put the fucking gun down!

Castor: [before he kills Victor] I AM Castor Troy!

Dr. Eve Archer: [after seeing him drive past their home without realizing it] Well, Sean, I knew it only a matter of time before you forgot where we lived.
Castor: Come on, gimme a break, every house on this block looks the same.

Castor: [giving a speech] Everybody, I want to thank you for enduring all these years that I was an insufferable bore.
Wanda: Sir, did you just have a surgical procedure?
[Castor's smile freezes. He is unsure what Wanda means]
Castor: What do you mean?
Wanda: Well, was the stick successfully removed from your ass?
[relieved, Castor bursts out laughing. The others join his laughter]

Sean: [holding onto Troy's neck, having him bent over] Die! Please God die!

Castor: [notices Eve's rear end as she walks to car] I hate to see you go, but I LOVE to watch you leave.

Castor: [after saving Archers daughter from help boyfriend raping her] Do you have protection?
Jamie: Protection? You mean like condoms?
Castor: [pulls out his switchblade] Protection. Next time, let Carl take his pants down, slip this in his thigh, twist it. So the wound won't close...
[gives her the knife]
Castor: Go on, get out of here.
[Jamie leaves]
Castor: I am the King!

Castor: Sean Archer here, who's calling?
Sean: Well if you're Sean Archer, I guess I'm Castor Troy.
[hangs up]
Castor: Ah, yes.

Walton: [to Sean posing as Troy] You are now the property of Erewhon Prison. A citizen of nowhere. The Geneva Convention is void here; Amnesty International doesn't know we exist. When I say your ass belongs to me, I mean exactly that.

Castor: [to Jamie] If you dress like Halloween, ghouls will try to get in your pants.

Castor: [Jamie shot Archer in the shoulder, now Troy has the gun on her] Clod! No daughter of mine would shoot so wide.
[to Archer]
Castor: DAD! *Put* the gun down! Put it down. Dad, put it down.
[to Jamie]
Castor: Now we're going to find out what's in Papa's bag, Peaches!
[licks Jamie's face]
Castor: Say good-bye to Papa.

Sean: [in their bedroom] The last time I saw you was in this room, we had a fight when I said I had to go away again I spent the night in Mike's old bed, the assignment was to enter a federal prison as Castor Troy, just fucking insane, a special ops surgeon gave me Caster's face and somehow Castor came out of his coma and killed everybody who knew about the mission not before transforming into me,
[breaks the glass in Michael's picture frame and removes the photo]
Sean: I know you don't believe a word I'm saying, well here's proof doctor your husband, me, my Sean's blood type O-negative Castor's AB

Dietrich: [to Sean posing as Troy] You look like you just fucked your mother.

Sasha: [Her last words] Take care of our boy, love him so much, and don't let him grow up to be like us promise?
Sean: [Nods] Yeah

Pollux: [Not realizing that he is talking with Sean Archer with Troy's face] Not feeling very coordinated lately, are you?
Sean: [Trying to act like Troy] Listen, bro. I am soooo fried. If the psychos find out I'm this wacky we're both dead meat.
Pollux: Shock treatment? What's the matter, did they operate?
[Pollux touches Archer's face]
Sean: I was in a COMA! Jesus, you're still so frickin' paranoid! Aren't they giving you your medication in here?
Pollux: What *was* my medication?
Sean: [sighing in exasperation] Pollux, I hand-fed you those pills for years. Vivex! I haven't forgotten *that*.
Sean: [beat] It's just everything else. My reflexes, my synapses, it's all like a...
Sean: [beat] tab of bad Quantrax.
Sean: [beat] I don't even know why that fucking Yeti jumped me the other day.
Pollux: Dubov? You had a sex sandwich with his wife and his sister the night he was sent here.
Sean: Well, that explains why he was so upset. We're gonna blow up L.A., bro. Ain't that cool?
Pollux: Sure, rub my nose in it, why don't you. Ten million dollar design and those Militia nut jobs get to keep their cash.
Sean: It's so fucking unfair! That bomb you built does deserve an audience. I mean, it's a work of art, it belongs in the Louvre.
Pollux: Yes, it does. Oh well, I guess the L.A. Convention Center will just have to do.
Sean: [rejoices as Pollux just revealed the location of the bomb] Thank you.
Pollux: For what?
Sean: Oh, bro. You are so fuckin' pathetic.

Sasha: What's the next move?
Sean: This isn't your fight
Sasha: He killed my brother, I'm not going to let him kill you too
Sean: No matter what happens I promise Sean Archer's off your back for good

Pollux: [talking privately in an unmonitored interrogation room] Seeing that face on you makes me afraid my tiramisu might come back up.
Castor: Well, think about me. This nose. This hair. This ridiculous chin.

Fitch: So, once we kidnap "supercop", then what?
Sean: [smiles enigmatically, moving his finger across his face] Tiny... surgery.
[Dietrich looks at "Castor" confused]
Sean: l'd like to take his... his face... off. Yes. Now, if you'll excuse me, l have to use the little boy's wee-wee room.
[Sean stands and starts to walk away]
Dietrich: Cas...
[Sean turns back to Dietrich]
Dietrich: You wanna take his... face...
Sean: [smiles widely] Yes. His face... off. Eyes...
[Sean slightly pinches Dietrich's nose]
Sean: ...nose. Skin. lt's coming off.
[Sean walks away, leaving the others totally confused of his last words]
Dietrich: [mimicks Sean's gesture] The face... off.

Jamie: Dad, I'm sorry I shot you.

Castor: [arrogantly to Victor] When all else fails - fresh tactics!

Jamie: [sobbing as Eve hugs her] Please tell me what planet I'm on!

Castor: [Both have each other at gun point after a shoot out in an airplane hanger] Wow. We have something in common. We both know our guns.
Sean: What we don't have in common, is that I don't care if I live, and you do.
Castor: Sean, that hurts. You're not having any fun, are you, Sean? Why don't you join us? Try Terrorism-for-hire, we can blow shit up, it's more FUN!
Sean: Shut the fuck up!
Castor: You watch your FUCKIN' MOUTH! I'm about to unleash the biblical plague "Hell-A" deserves. But I'll give this SHITHOLE a break if my brother and I walk.
Sean: [Not believing what troy is saying] Bullshit.
Castor: Oh, no? Oh, you think I'm bluffing, oh yeah. Maybe I am. But then maybe I'm NOT! Besides, what are you gonna do with me locked up? You'll drive your wife and kid crazy. Oh by the way, how is your daughter, Janie? Your darling peach, is she ripe yet...
[Making barking noises and pulls the trigger on the gun and realizes that he is out of bullets, and falls to his knees]
Castor: Please don't shoot me, man. I'm scared, Sean.
[gets a knife]
Castor: Well, I think you better pull the trigger, because I don't give a FUCK!
[singing]
Castor: I'm ready, Ready for the big ride, BABY!

[walks into her room and sees Jamie in her underwear]
[to himself]
Castor: The plot thickens.
Jamie: [on the phone] Carl, I'll have to call you back.
[hangs up]
Jamie: You're not respecting my boundaries.
Castor: I'm coming in, Janie.
Jamie: Janie?
Castor: [seeing a pillow that says Jamie on it, he realizes his mistake] I don't think you heard me, JAMIE. You got something I crave.
[closes in on Jamie, reaches back and grabs her pack of cigarettes]
Jamie: [nervously] Danielle left those here.
Castor: I won't tell mom if you don't.
[puts a cigarette in his mouth and lights it]
Jamie: When did you start smoking?
Castor: You'll be seeing a lot of changes around here.
[blows smoke rings at Jamie]
Castor: Papa's got a brand new bag. OW!

Dietrich: [intentionally instigating a confrontation] Hey Sean, how's your dead son?

[Troy and Archer see each other for the first time with each other's faces]
Castor: [grins] OOOEEEE, you're good lookin'! You're hot!
[cocks his head]
Castor: It's like looking in a mirror, only not.
Sean: Troy?
Castor: Now that is between us. OK?
Sean: But you were, were, uh...
Castor: In a coma? Nothing like having your face cut off to disturb your sleep! Read the newspaper lately?
[shows him a newspaper article headlined "Deadly Inferno at Walsh Institute"]
Sean: You killed them?
Castor: Yeah well, beats paying the bill, huh? I mean, come on, uh, if a face lift costs five grand...
[shows Archer's wedding ring on his hand]
Castor: ... SEE ANYTHING YOU LIKE?
[Cut to a shot of Miller, Dr. Walsh, and Tito, all bound and gagged, being doused with gasoline]
Sean: [feeling a lump forming in his throat] Tito!
[In flashback, a hand drops a lit cigarette in a puddle of gasoline that quickly spreads towards the captives]
Castor: I torched all the evidence that proves you're you, okay? So, wow! Looks like you're going to be in here for THE NEXT HUNDRED YEARS! Now, I have got to go. I've got a government job to abuse and a lonely wife to fuck! Whoops did I just say that? I'm sorry... make love to! God, I miss that face!
Sean: [throws his hands around Castor's neck and tries to strangle him] DIIIIIIE! DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!

Castor: [knowing Eve is not being honest with him] Lies, deceit, mixed messages... this is turning into a real marriage.

Loomis: [after the FBI raided hideout apartment] Sir why are you so upset? It's just Pollux Troy.
[Troy blow's Loomis' head off]

Castor: [during the shootout at the apartment] I don't know what I hate wearing worse: your face or your body. I mean I enjoy *boning* your wife, but let's face it, we both like it better the other way, yes? So why don't we trade back.
Sean: You can't give back what you've taken from me.
Castor: OK, then... plan B, why don't we just kill each other?

Wanda: You turned your beeper off.
Castor: Yes, well... my son's birthday.
Wanda: Well, here's some poetic justice, sir... Castor Troy's dead.
Buzz: He got killed trying to escape from Erewhon.
Castor: Where's his body? I want to see his body.
Wanda: It hasn't been recovered yet.
Castor: IT HASN'T BEEN *RECOVERED YET*? *Get the LAPD on this!*
Wanda: Even if he is alive, Castor isn't stupid enough to come back to the city.
Castor: You must... you must trust me. He's already here.

[a faceless Castor Troy confronts Dr. Walsh after waking from a coma in his clinic]
Dr. Malcolm Walsh: What the hell is this?
Castor: Doctor Walsh! I'm just enjoying some of your greatest hits here. I hope you don't mind: I partook of a few of your groovy painkillers. Oh, bravo. Bra-fucking-vo. Oh God, this is excellent. Bravo!
Dr. Malcolm Walsh: What do you want?
Castor: Take one goddamn guess!

Castor: [talking privately in an unmonitored interrogation room] You're not the only one in the family with the brains.
Pollux: No, although now I am the only one with the looks.
Castor: Touché.

Castor: [Reading Eve's diary] "Date night fizzled again we hadn't made love in two months", what a loser

Castor: [during a stand off against Sean] Sasha, what the *fuck*... are you doing here?

Castor: [during a stand off between him Sean, Sasha and Troy's bodyguards] Wheee. What a predicament.

Sean: I've said and done some things that made your life hard, I know
Sasha: How would you? when you left you never looked back
Sean: I just know,
[Adam walks in]
Sean: Sasha I'm not the same person you remember and for what it's worth I'm sorry,
[getting dressed]
Sean: nice looking clothes
Sasha: Yeah, of course their yours
Sean: [Adam walks in] nice looking kid too
Sasha: Yeah, of course, his yours too

Castor: Isn't this religious, ah yes. The eternal battle between good and evil, saint and sinners... but you're still not having any FUN!

Dietrich: [referring to Sean posing as Troy] No more drugs for that man.

Castor: [to agent Winters as she poses as a flight attendant] If I were to send you flowers where would I... no, let me rephrase that. If I were to let you suck my tongue, would you be grateful?

Sean: [to Eve] I was thinking the other day, I remember I once took a date out for surf and turf, not knowing she was a vegetarian, so she ate bread and broke her tooth on a rice seed, we drove around all night, looking for an all night dentist, and he was so drunk he fixed the wrong tooth, when I finally brought her home, even though it must've hurt like hell, you kissed me

Sean: [as he walks out of his office] Any word from the LAPD intelligence? If there IS such a thing?
Loomis: Not yet, sir.
Sean: Of course not, because we're a covert anti-terrorist team that is so secret, that when we snap our fingers NOTHING HAPPENS!