The Best Bill Quotes

Chris: [Michael is at his improv class. He recently had all his "guns" taken away by Chris] Freeze.
Michael: I'm in.
Chris: Do you want to go over the rules one more time?
Michael: No, no, no, no.
[He taps MaryBeth and kneels next to Bill]
Michael: I'm looking in my wallet for some money so you can tell me my fortune.
Bill: [Bill continues with Michael's set-up, miming a crystal ball] I promise it's worth it. Ooh, I can see you walking out of here and you're thrilled with your reading.
Michael: What are you-
[He pauses, and then whispers in Bill's ear. Bill raises his hands in the air]
Chris: Michael, what did you tell him?
Michael: Nothing.
Chris: Then why are his hands up? Bill?
Bill: He told me he couldn't show it to me, but he has a gun.