The Best Cable Quotes

Cable: Dubstep's for pussies!
Wade: You're so dark. Are you sure you're not from the DC universe?

Deadpool: I don't know how to thank you, but I do know how to hug you.
Cable: No.
Deadpool: [gets closer to Cable] Yes. Here we go. Bring it in.
[hugging Cable]
Deadpool: Come on. Pelvis to pelvis. Let's go tip to tip. There we go, the kids call this docking.
[hears a knife open]
Deadpool: Is there a knife in my dick?
Cable: There's a knife in your dick, yeah.

Cable: There's nothing I can't kill.
Deadpool: Well, as Scoutmaster Kevin used to say... "There's a first time for everything,son." Give me your best shot, One-Eyed Willy.
[cuts down one bullet then gets riddled by more bullets]
Deadpool: Those bullets were, like, super fast.

Cable: You remind me of my wife.
Wade: I'm sorry?
Cable: I said you remind me...
Wade: No, I'm sorry that you said that while making heavy eye contact and applying lip balm.

Deadpool: So, what exactly do you do in the future, anyway, huh? Some kind of soldier?
Cable: Yeah, something like that.
Deadpool: I was a soldier. Special Forces. I bet fifty years from now we'll be bestest buddies.
Cable: Fifty years from now you'll be very dead. Your entire generation will fuck this planet into a coma.
Deadpool: Boom!
[makes exploding sound]
Deadpool: Spoiler alert. Ha ha! Ah, planets.
Domino: [whispers to herself] Next time Uber.
Cable: Here's a spoiler alert. You're not a fucking hero. You're just an annoying clown dressed up as a sex toy.
Deadpool: Well, I got news for you, my heart is in the right place. Russell's not gonna kill anyone. Because of me, he's gonna know what real love is.
Cable: Because of you, I'll always know what a grown man with baby balls looks like.
Deadpool: I'm a grower, not a shower.
Domino: I should've finished college.

[after Deadpool realizes Cable traveled back in time to save him]
Deadpool: You time-sliding son of a bitch. You did this for me? Wait, you can't go back. You used the last of your fuel. What about your girl and your wife?
Cable: No, my family's safe. And I didn't do it for you. No, I'm gonna stick around for a while and make sure the world doesn't shit itself into oblivion.
Deadpool: No, you did it for me.
Cable: No, I didn't.
Deadpool: You did.
Cable: No, I didn't.
Deadpool: Pretty sure you did.
Cable: No, I'm positive I didn't.
Deadpool: Fine. Alright, let's flip a coin, okay? Heads, you did it for me. Tails, you did it for me.
[flips coin]
Deadpool: I'm not even gonna look because you did it for me.
Cable: Say it again.
Deadpool: You did it for me.
Cable: Jesus.

Deadpool: Cable, you get back to your family and you tell them Wade says hi. And promise me, promise me one thing: that you'll start judging people not by the color of the skin but by the content of their character.
Cable: Jesus...

Cable: Who are you?
Wade: I'm Batman.

Cable: I use a device to slide through time. The longer I travel, the harder it is to control. I got two charges: one to get me here, one to get me home.
Wade: [looks at the camera] Well... that's just lazy writing.

Cable: Relax, I'm retrieving something from my utility bag.
Weasel: It's a god-damn fanny pack and you know it, you sick son of a bitch! The difference is night and day.

Cable: You're not a fuckin' hero. You're just an annoying clown dressed up as a sex toy.

[from trailer]
Cable: I was born into war, bred into it. People think they understand pain, but they have no concept of it. What's the most pain you've ever felt? Maybe the kind that leaves you more machine than man.
Deadpool: [halts trailer] Wait, no, STOP! What in the actual ass? Dale! Why, why are the visual effects not done? It's a metal arm! It's not like we're trying to remove a mustache! Oh fuck it, I'll do it myself...