The Best CAPCOM 2 Quotes

Jack: [Swigert bumps his head on the ceiling of the crowded lunar module] Oww! Goddamn this piece of shit!
Fred: Hey! this piece of shit's going to get you home! That's 'cause that's the only thing we've got left, Jack.
Jack: Well, what are you saying, Fred?
Fred: Oh, I think you know what I'm saying...
Jack: Now wait a minute... all I did was stir those tanks...
Fred: What was that gauge reading before you hit the switch?
Jack: Hey, don't tell me how to fly the damned CM, all right? They brought me in here to do a job, they asked me to stir the damned tanks, and I stirred the tanks!
Fred: You didn't know what you were doing, do you?
Jim: Jack, quit kicking yourself in the ass.
Jack: This is NOT MY FAULT!
Jim: No one is saying it is. If I'm in the left-hand seat when the call comes up, *I* stir the tanks.
Jack: Yeah, well, tell *him* that.
Fred: I just asked you what the gauge was reading. AND YOU DON'T KNOW!
Jim: All right, we're not doing this, gentlemen. We are *not* going to do this. We're not going to go bouncing off the walls for ten minutes, 'cause we're just going to end up back here with the same problems! Try to figure out how to stay alive!
CAPCOM: Aquarius, this is Houston.
Jim: [shouting] ARE WE ON VOX?
Fred: No, we're not on VOX.
Jim: [Hits switch, calm tone] Yeah, Houston, this is Aquarius. Go ahead.

CAPCOM: 13, we just got another request from the Flight Surgeon for you to get some sleep. Don't like these readings down here.
Jim: [Tearing off his biomeds] Let's see how he likes this. I am sick and tired of the entire western world knowing how my kidneys are functioning!
Dr. Chuck: [after Lovell's heartrate flatlines] Flight, we just lost Lovell!
CAPCOM: 13, Houston. Jim, we just had a bottoming out on your biomeds.
Jim: I'm not wearing my biomeds.
CAPCOM: [after Gene Kranz shrugs it off] Ok, Jim. Copy that.
[Jack and Fred now tear away their own biomeds]
Dr. Chuck: [after all three crew members flatline] Flight, now I lost all three of them!
Gene: It's just a little medical mutiny, Doc. I'm sure the boys are still with us. Let's cut them a little slack, ok?