20 Best Chris Keller Quotes

Sister: Do you like sex with men?
Chris: I like sex. Don't you?

Sister: So you went along with Beecher not in the name of the Aryan Brotherhood, but to see if he would love you no matter what.
Chris: At first I wanted unconditional surrender, then I wanted unconditional love. But Beecher don't love me.
Sister: And that's killing you inside.
Chris: Yeah.

[Keller is in Sister Pete's office having a session with her]
Sister: You and Schillinger were together at Lardner when you were how old?
Chris: 17.
Sister: He saved your life.
Chris: Mmmm-mmmm.
Sister: Did you have sex together?
Chris: Yeah.
Sister: Did he force himself on you?
Chris: Vern likes the power part of sex, so I let him think he did.
Sister: Do you enjoy sex with men?
Chris: I enjoy sex, don't you?

Chris: I'll see ya.
Tobias: When?
Chris: Back here... or in Heaven.
Tobias: You really think we're getting into Heaven?
Chris: Ah, you and me together? God doesn't have the balls to keep us out.

Chris: [as Keller is being sent off to another prison] Don't worry, we'll meet again. If not here then in Heaven.
Tobias: Do you think we'll really get in?
Chris: You and me together? God doesn't have the balls to keep us out.

Tobias: [flinching away from Keller] Don't.
Chris: You realize we've only kissed once? In all these months... once. All I've been thinking about is kissing you again.
[reaches out to touch Beecher again]
Tobias: [jerks away] Hey, I said don't!

[Said has proclaimed his loyalty to Adebisi. The Muslims and Homeboys are celebrating together]
Christopher: Wow. Said and Adebisi hand in hand.
Ryan: It's the end of the fucking universe.

Chris: [in handcuffs, Toby hugs him] Sorry I can't hug you back.

Tobias: Did you purposely fuck up my parole?
Chris: I can't imagine going through the rest of my life in here without you.

Tobias: You wouldn't understand, you kill for sport.
Chris: *I* don't understand? *I'm* not the one who's here by accident. I kill because I have to.

Chris: You saw my ex, Bonnie? When I met her, she was all alone, and very unhappy, so I knew it'd be easy to get her to fall in love with me. But what I didn't know, was after I broke her heart, would she still love me. See, I am a piece of shit. I am worthless. As bad as they come. And to have someone keep loving me, no matter how bad... You happy now? You got me to open up and spill my guts all over your table. Breakthrough.

[Keller is leaving to stand trial in Massachusetts for a murder he did not commit]
Chris: See ya.
Tobias: [scoffs] When?
Chris: Back here. Or in heaven.
Tobias: You really think we're going to get into heaven?
Chris: Aw, you and me together. God doesn't have the balls to keep us out.
[Keller is pulled away by the guards, zoom in on Beecher's sad face, Augustus begins narration]
Augustus: The worst stab wound is the one to the heart. Sure, most people survive it, but the heart is never quite the same.
[cut to Augustus, sitting in the dark]
Augustus: There's always a scar. Which is meant, I guess, to remind you that - even for a little while - someone made your heart beat faster. And that's a scar you can live with. Proudly. All the days of your life.
[blackout]

Lisa: What about homosexual activity? Does it happen?
Chris: Well that depends. By "homosexual activity" do you mean deep seated love by one man for another? Or guys fucking other guys in the ass?

Ryan: Neuter's a fag.
Augustus: What makes you say that?
Ryan: Look at the way he's grabbing Pecky?
Augustus: Their fighting.
Ryan: Yo all I'm saying is that its a lot of body contact man.
Augustus: That's the stupidest thing I ever heard of, a gay puppet.
Chris: One of the teletubbys is gay.
Augustus: What?
Chris: Yeah Falwell, the reverend somebody says twinky dink or whatever his name is, he's a butt pirate.
Augustus: That's nuts, listen you gotta have a, a cock to be gay.
Chris: Where does it say you gotta have a cock to be gay? All you need is a mouth so you can suck cock.

[after witnessing an argument between Browne, Supreme Allah and Adebisi]
Ryan: Ah. Trouble in Paradise.
Chris: Yeah, but not any good to us. You know what we have here, O'Reily? A fan-dan-go. And we need to do something about it soon.
Ryan: Hey, I don't like being in the minority, but what the fuck can *we* do? Even the fucking Muslims are kow-towing to Adebisi.
Chris: We could detonate a few well-placed depth charges.
[O'Reily realizes Keller's plan and grins]
Ryan: Whatever you need, K-Boy.
[they touch fists]

Warden: You wanted to see me.
Chris: I gotta get out of this place.
Warden: There's a reason you're in protective custody. We want you to live long enough to testify against Schillinger.
Chris: Yeah, Warden I stay in here I die of boredom.
Warden: You wanted magazines, I sent magazines.
Chris: How many times a day can a guy jerk off?
Warden: I don't know, depends on the guy.
Chris: I gotta go back to Em City. I ain't worried about Schillinger. I'll take care of myself. I want that fuck to see I'm not punking out.

Chris: Show me your tits.
Sister: Don't do that.
Chris: Sorry.

Chris: [hugging Toby, crying] Don't let go.

[all the gay inmates are being transferred out]
Officer: Let's go, ladies!
Christopher: [to Pancamo] More white guys leaving Em City.
#97P468: They may be white. But they ain't guys.
Christopher: Still. It's getting awfully dark around here.
#97P468: [noticing that they are surrounded by black inmates] True.

Chris: Toby, I died... and there's no white light. I was in hell.