30 Best Ryan O'Reily Quotes

Nikolai: You know what I miss more than anything about being free? Taking a bath. I hate showers. To sit and soak in a hot tub with bubbles everywhere...
[says 'amazing' in Russian]
Ryan: I bet you even had a rubber ducky, huh Nikolai?
Nikolai: Rubber ducky?
Ryan: Yeah.
Nikolai: What is rubber ducky?
Augustus: A product of capitalist imperialism.

Ryan: "Lights out" means "Shut the fuck up".

Ryan: I'd rather fuck Miss Sally.
Tobias: I wouldn't mind a four-way work Neuter and Pecky.

[Suzanne Fitzgerald has started a music program in Oz]
Suzanne: Why don't you ask some of your friends to sign up?
Ryan: Sure thing.
[cut to a scene of Ryan slamming Busmalis into a wall]
Agamemnon: All right, I'll do it!

Jonathan: [word has spread about Beecher's broken bones] They broke his arms and his legs!
Jaz: What is he gonna do when he gets an itch?
[Bikers laugh]
Chucky: He looked like a fuckin' pretzel!
Robert: Beecher was in love
Agamemnon: Love hurts!
Kareem: [angry tone] Schillinger did this!
Ryan: Fucking Schillinjur did this man!
Kenny: [looking at Beecher's pod] I want this pod. Gotta better view.

Cyril: I hurt that man.
Ryan: Nah, he'll be fine.
Cyril: No. I hurt him bad. Why, Ryan? Why'd you make me hurt him?
Ryan: Just get ready to go to bed, please, Cyril. Come on.
Cyril: Tell me. Why'd I have to hurt him?
Ryan: Would you just shut up, please, and get ready for bed? I'm tired.
Cyril: No, you answer me now. Why'd you make me think of Dad? And Mom? Why?
Ryan: To survive. Don't you fucking get it yet? To survive in this fucking hellhole! You want the goddamn truth? Khan is brain-damaged.
Cyril: No.
Cyril: Yeah. I saw it when he went down. His eyes went all vacant and shit.
Cyril: You mean I made him just like me?
Ryan: No.
[leans in closer, whispers]
Ryan: Worse.

[O'Reily is delivering food to Solitary just as Robson arrives]
Ryan: Hey, what's up, half-dick!

Augustus: [In Em City] Oz.
Tim: [In his office] Oz.
Tobias: [In the infirmary] Oz.
Vern: [In his Gen. Pop. cell] Oz.
Sister: [In the Gen. Pop. section] Oz.
Ryan: [In the guard booth of Em City] Oz.
Warden: [in front of fellow officers] Oz.
Miguel: [In Solitary] Oz.

[Wangler got knocked out quick, during the Oz boxing tournament]
Ryan: Hey, Bricks! Nice one, man! You're like Tyson all right, Cecily Tyson!

[Said has proclaimed his loyalty to Adebisi. The Muslims and Homeboys are celebrating together]
Christopher: Wow. Said and Adebisi hand in hand.
Ryan: It's the end of the fucking universe.

Cyril: Dad's coming to visit?
Ryan: Well, not visit, exactly.
[cut to Seamus being escorted into Oz]
Correction: Welcome to Oz!
Seamus: Fuck you!

Ryan: McManus, you gotta see that I love her, man.
Tim: Love? What the fuck do you know about love?
Ryan: Well, what do you know, huh? What do any of us?
Tim: I know it's not a reason to commit murder.
Ryan: Yeah, well then, maybe you've never really been in love.

[Bukowski has been whining to O'Reily since arriving in Em City]
Ryan: Tell you what. Maybe I can get you a tampon to stop your pussy from bleeding.

Ryan: [O'Reilly sees James Robson dressed as a woman] Hey, Robson. Hey, what shade of lipstick is that, huh? Is it dick suck red?
Chucky: [as Robson gives O'Reily a nasty look] Yeah, I heard you've been working in "receiving and discharge".
James: FUCK YOU, Pancamo!
Chucky: Tell you what, prag. I'll use my *bad hand* to beat you. Even things up a little.
[Cutler attacks Pancamo]

Ryan: [bringing Martin Montgomery a piece of cake] Hey, Marty, my boy. How about another piece of cake?
Martin: Sure, thanks. O'Reily, right?
Ryan: That's right
Martin: How come you're offering me extra cake? I've been here almost three years, and you never even farted in my direction.
Ryan: Well, you're right. We're not friends. Everybody knows we're not friends. Which is why I can offer you an exciting money-making opportunity.
Martin: Which is what?
Ryan: I want you to go to the warden and tell him you saw Henry Stanton murder Patrick Keenan.
Martin: But I didn't
Ryan: Marty, there's a lot more cake where that came from.
[indicating the money he's just placed by Martin's tray]

William: [after refusing to steal any more sedative drugs for O'Reily] I've figured out what you've been doing with the chloral-hydrate.
Ryan: Oh yeah?
William: You've been spiking the fighter's spritzers so they'll be drugged in the ring.
Ryan: That's crazy talk.
William: I've made an appointment with the warden to tell him. My soul is in jeopardy, so is yours. By doing this, I'm gonna save you.
Ryan: Not if I save you first.

Ryan: [when asked by Busmalis, Rebadow and Hill how to choose a winner in the coming boxing match] Hey, I'm a man of logic; I'm a man of planning. I consider every detail; I factor in every possibility. Then I flip a coin.

Ryan: [to Robson] Beecher bit off the tip of your dick. How'd you like to lose the rest?

Ryan: So where'd they put you?
Cyril: Uh, with them.
[points to Schillinger and the Aryans, who smile and laugh]
Vern: Don't worry. We gave him the *royal* welcome.
[Aryans continue to laugh]

[after witnessing an argument between Browne, Supreme Allah and Adebisi]
Ryan: Ah. Trouble in Paradise.
Chris: Yeah, but not any good to us. You know what we have here, O'Reily? A fan-dan-go. And we need to do something about it soon.
Ryan: Hey, I don't like being in the minority, but what the fuck can *we* do? Even the fucking Muslims are kow-towing to Adebisi.
Chris: We could detonate a few well-placed depth charges.
[O'Reily realizes Keller's plan and grins]
Ryan: Whatever you need, K-Boy.
[they touch fists]

[after Keenan described, a little too happily, the details of his raping Dr. Nathan]
Ryan: Ya know how I said I never actually kill anybody myself? Well, in your case, I'm gonna make an *exception*!
[bashes his head in with a barbell]

Seamus: My life has been nothing but shit since the day I was born, and I didn't have no brother to lean on like you did. I've been alone my whole fucking life, and soon... you will be, too.
Ryan: I'll never tell anyone the truth about what happened with Carolyn. That's between you and me. But, Dad... You better pray to Jesus Christ almighty himself that I never get out of this place, because when I do... I will kill you.

Ryan: Neuter's a fag.
Augustus: What makes you say that?
Ryan: Look at the way he's grabbing Pecky?
Augustus: Their fighting.
Ryan: Yo all I'm saying is that its a lot of body contact man.
Augustus: That's the stupidest thing I ever heard of, a gay puppet.
Chris: One of the teletubbys is gay.
Augustus: What?
Chris: Yeah Falwell, the reverend somebody says twinky dink or whatever his name is, he's a butt pirate.
Augustus: That's nuts, listen you gotta have a, a cock to be gay.
Chris: Where does it say you gotta have a cock to be gay? All you need is a mouth so you can suck cock.

[repeated line]
Ryan: Fucking Cyril!

[O'Reily has just offered to arrange for Adebisi to meet a woman sitting on death row]
Simon: O'Reily, if she sucks my cock, I'll suck yours.
Ryan: That's an appetizing thought. Pass.

[Connelly, an IRA Terrorist, refuses O'Reily's friendly overtures]
Ryan: You're starting to piss me off. You best starting treating Oz like Northern Ireland. In here we eat, sleep, drink, work, piss and shit with our own kind!
#01C972: Oh, and you think 'cause your name's O'Reily that you're one of *my* kind.

Ryan: Hey, Khan. I just thought you should know, Wangler's been talking shit about you and Said. I think it's time you taught that heathen homeboy a little lesson.

Jonathan: I say we institute a 'no swearing' rule.
Raoul: Man, Fuck you!
Augustus: Suck my dick.
Kenny: Asswipe.
Ryan: Cocksucker.
Chucky: Stupid cunt.
Jaz: ...Putz!

James: [James Robson has been implanted a black man's gums, he does not know, except for the Irish and the Homeboys] Just soup!
Arnold: You sure you dont want no chitlins and gravy go with that
[Ryan O'Reily and Poet laugh uncontrollably]
James: What?
Ryan: Shall we?
[Ryan and the Homeboys bang the pots to get everyone's attention]
Ryan: Everyone listen up! Robson here went to the dentist and got himself a nice pair of dirty ghetto gums!
[all the inmates laugh, Said smiles, the Aryans look embarrassed and humiliated]
James: Thanks Vern!
Vernon: I didn't say a fuckin' word! Shut up, you goddamn nigger just give him some soup!
Arnold: Whoa! You gonna take that G? Man calling your brother a nigger and all...
[menacing Poet]
Arnold: Hey, hey! Don't get stupid! Don't want me to Sammy Sosa that jaw with this here spoon!

Ryan: What do you call it when a son kills his father?
Jahfree: Patricide.
Ryan: Yeah, patricide. I like the sound of that.