The Best Miguel Alvarez Quotes

Miguel: I'm so tired. I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of the walls. The lies. The fear. The death. I'm so tired.

Miguel: Hey, will you shut the fuck up? I'm trying to masturbate!

Officer: Raoul Hernandez, Miguel Alvarez.
Miguel: El Cid, it's an honor, man.
Raoul: You Latino?
Miguel: Si.
Raoul: They lied to you. You too fucking white to be a Latino. Get the fuck outta my face.

[in his will, Cutler left everything to Miguel Alvarez]
Vern: I'm gonna suggest this now, Alvarez. Or I'll find a way to make it happen later. You sign over all of Cutler's stuff to his widow.
Miguel: I already thought about that.
James: Don't think, spic! DO!
Miguel: You know, maybe I should just sign all his assets over to *you*, Roby. Seeing as how you already gave him *yo' ass*.
[Miguel walks away]
James: Cunt!

Enrique: Miguel, Miguel! Where you been?
Miguel: I was kissing the warden's ass.
Enrique: That's funny.
Miguel: Not as funny as you think. You know he wants me to rat on you. He says if I don't give him any inside info on drugs and shit, I'm gonna be put in Solitary again. So, I've been thinking, you know, maybe I could be like a double agent, right? I just give him the information you want him to have, you know?
Enrique: That's a brilliant idea.
Miguel: Think so?
Enrique: Except for the fact that there ain't no information I want Glynn to have.
Miguel: Misinformation.
Enrique: You tell him stuff that turns out not to be true, how long's he gonna trust you? No, my friend. If I were you, and I'm glad I'm not, I'd prepare for the inevitable - spending the next fifty years all by your lonesome.

Augustus: [In Em City] Oz.
Tim: [In his office] Oz.
Tobias: [In the infirmary] Oz.
Vern: [In his Gen. Pop. cell] Oz.
Sister: [In the Gen. Pop. section] Oz.
Ryan: [In the guard booth of Em City] Oz.
Warden: [in front of fellow officers] Oz.
Miguel: [In Solitary] Oz.

[In Oz's boxing tournament, Alvarez got beaten by a gay opponent]
Kenny: Yo, Alvarez! Nice fight!
Miguel: Shut the fuck up!
Kenny: What you gonna do, motherfucker? Hit me with your purse?

[Penders and Alvarez are training seeing eye dogs]
Alicia: Okay, you see the steaks?
Greg: We gonna teach the dogs how to cook?
Alicia: No, we're going to teach them restraint. I'm going to put them on the floor, and you're going to stop them from eating it.
Miguel: All right.
Greg: You gotta be kidding me.
Alicia: What?
Greg: I haven't seen a steak in six years. Now, you're gonna throw it on the floor so a DOG won't eat it?