30 Best Daran Norris Quotes

Cliff: [to Logan] My name is Cliff, and I'll be your, "If you cannot afford an attorney" attorney.

Johnny: I thought I could make the whole thing go away by paying the money.
Olivia: Only an idiot would trust a blackmailer to destroy the footage. Say it out loud. "I'm an idiot".
Brandt: Detective, can you tell your partner to stop verbally abusing my client?
Olivia: Tell your client to stop asking for it.

Odin: This blade was forged from the righteous energy within thee.
Ra: It possesses the power to destroy this evil force.
Rama: But be warned. This evil is not of the human world. It has magic beyond your understanding. Trust not what you see, but what you feel.

Johnny: You need me to take a cure for zombie-ism on live TV?
Ravi: This cure.
Johnny: Why me?
Major: You may be Seattle's most well-known zombie.
Johnny: I'm not even Seattle's most well-known zombie in a six-foot radius.

Keith: Is that what the kids call motor-boatin'?
Cliff: I have a healthy zest for life. So sue me.

Hayley: So, you're a despicable CIA fascist like my father.
Jack: No, dollface, I work for the Scarlet Alliance. It's more secret, more deadly, and everyone wears a turtleneck.
Klaus: Sounds like a disco I used to frequent in Berlin. I did lines with Falco in the men's room. Greedy, greedy Falco.

Johnny: Look, I was upset because Cassidy was stealing, but, we had a special bond. Truly. I'm not sure I'll ever get over losing her.
Destiny: [Walks up] I'm free now, Mr. Frost. Ready to hit the champagne room?
Johnny: [to Liv and Peyton] You'll have to excuse me. Destiny is calling.

Cowboy: Let's have a toast to me, and my reflection in your lovely eyes.

Johnny: Look, hookers, strippers, yeah but a dominatrix? I'm a married man Detective, I already give way too much of my money to a woman who abuses me.

Princess: I have more power and skill than all of you.
Gentleman: It seems her tongue bites as hard as her stick.
Princess: But even I cannot defeat the samurai on my own.
Gentleman: What's that?
Princess: The only way to defeat him is to join forces and attack him together, all at once.
I: A wize and powerful plan this would be...
Am: ...but who is the one to claim the bounty?
Princess: I am.
[the others object]

Johnny: Frankly, I resent being questioned every time a hooker or stripper or dominatrix gets killed in this town. Why don't you ever bug me when somebody murders a plumber?
Clive: You hang out with a lot of plumbers?

Stan: I can't believe you would choose being a jewel thief over the two most important things, being a spy and your son's love.
Jack: [pretending to be on the phone] Hello French Riviera can I buy a shato with my sons love?
Stan: Yes, yes, we've all heard the bit.

Spottswoode: Team, if the Derkaderkastanis have weapons of mass destruction, I'm afraid it could be 911 times a thousand.
Sarah: Jesus, you mean...?
Spottswoode: Yes. Nine hundred and eleven thousand.
Chris: Well forget all these assholes! We have work to do!
Spottswoode: Yes! Let's get Gary valmorphanized so we can use his acting!
Gary: My acting? My ACTING?
Gary: [rises from the steps] My acting just got a thousand people killed! Jesus, I've done it again!
Spottswoode: Pull yourself together, Gary! We need you now more than ever!
Gary: I'm through with this!
Spottswoode: Gary, you can't go! Without you the team is doomed! Remember, there is no "I" in "Team America".
Intelligence: [pause] Yes, there is.

Jack: Now son, breaking in to a safe is like making love to a woman.
Stan: So, we should just pound on it for like two minutes?

Cliff: [to Lamb, after seeing him with Madison] I'd vote for you.

Keith: [Keith walks into a hotel room and Cliff is handcuffed to the headboard of a bed] So, can I ask you a question?
Cliff: She said her name was Daphne...
Keith: Oh, no no. How did you call me?
Cliff: Acrobatically. I might have pulled a hamstring...

Aaron: Come on, Logan, let me help you. Let me call some guys down at the firm...
Logan: They gave me a lawyer.
Aaron: A real lawyer. Not some public servant with a mail-order diploma and a three hundred dollar suit.
Cliff: Two for five hundred, actually, but your point remains valid.

Spartok: [narrating] Long ago he came to us in our time of need. His name was... Jack. Nothing would be the same.

[Deleted Scene]
Spottswoode: Team, this is all my fault. I was overzealous in Cairo. I let racism cloud my judgment. I was so sure the ultimate terrorist was Middle Eastern, but I didn't realize he was a goddamn Gook. I'll never be a racist again.

Gary: Jesus, this is a nice limo.
Spottswoode: Yes, it is. Now suck my cock.

Keith: It's as bad as she says? Lamb's going after the kid?
Cliff: Well, he was thinking very hard about it. Or he really had to pee. It's hard to tell with that man.

Keith: [Veronica is in jail] Please tell me you didn't help an accused murderer escape jail.
Veronica: Yo Pops, check it out. This girl ain't gonna be nobody's bitch. You better recognize.
Keith: [re: a fake tattoo] What's that on your arm?
Veronica: I've had some free time. And, no, I didn't help Josh escape - not intentionally. Turns out he's allergic to peanuts. His plan was to take advantage of my kindness.
Keith: That's gotta be the first time that's worked for anybody.
Veronica: [Cliff McCormack walks in] Clifford, something wrong?
Cliff: I've just remembered I need to return "Caged Heat" to the video store. You folks wanna hear the good news or the bad news first?
Keith: I'm gonna say the good news.
Cliff: Josh's cellmate and key witness to the Cookie Incident ate the evidence and, icing on the cake, blew a .21 on the breathalizer when they booked him. No way Lamb can get a conviction and he knows it.
Keith: That sounds like great news.
Cliff: But, he's gonna hold Veronica as long as he possibly can.
Keith: Can I get you anything, honey?
Veronica: Uh, couple cartons of smokes.
[Keith gives her a look]
Veronica: What, Dad, it's currency on the inside.
Keith: Any guess where I might find Josh?
Veronica: Mexico?
Keith: So you think he did it?
Veronica: I don't know. If he didn't, he sure panicked quickly.
Keith: That's what I thought too.
Cliff: Anyone wanna know what I think?
[silence]
Cliff: Fine, I'll keep it to myself. I'm just saying, my entire day is spent going through my clients' lives. This kid, he's on the up and up.
Keith: Okay, I've got an appointment with Dean O'Dell's old assistant. I can't just put his murder case on hold.
[gives Veronica a look]
Veronica: What?
Keith: Just, I thought this sight would be more traumatic for me, but...
[shrugs]

Spottswoode: Gary, if for some reason your cover is blown, and the terrorists take you prisoner, well, you'll probably want to take your own life. Here, you'd better have this.
[hands Gary a hammer]

X: Lulu... Sweet thing... I miss her. I hate the rain. It makes me all... sentimental.

X: Seems like Aku got himself a little problem... a problem that won't go away... a samurai problem. I wanted nothing to do with it but that funny scientist informed Aku of my emotions. They got Lulu... sweet thing. I have no choice. Damn feelings. I came out of retirement.

The: Is she a fast ship?
Captain: She's fast enough for you, Scots man. Whe're ya headed?
The: The great unknown.
Sailors: Ooooooooooh...
Captain: Arr, that's the real trick, isn't it? And it's gonna cost ya. Ten Thousand, in advance.
Brent: Like ten thousand? Dude, we could like almost buy our own ship for that. Dude, I know this guy...
Captain: Yeah... but who's gonna sail it, kid, you?
Brent: Well, like, yeah, I could. I worked on a boat before.

Gary: You can't be serious.
Spottswoode: Oh, I am serious. Look, this is my serious face.

Cliff: I heard your dad's out tracking down bail jumpers half the time and yet somehow all the cases that come in here still get handled. How is that?
Veronica: We're efficient.

Spottswoode: From what I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.N.C.E has gathered, it would be 9/11 times 100.
Gary: 9/11 times a hundred? Jesus, that's...
Spottswoode: Yes, 91,100.
Joe: Basically, all the worst parts of the bible.

Spartok: And that is the story of the brave warriors... the Three Hundred, plus One. But I believe that the One survived. A warrior that great could not be stopped so easily.