The Best Mikey Quotes

Mikey: [to One-Eyed Willie] Hi Willie. Oh, I'm Mike Walsh. You've been expecting me, haven't you? Well I made it. I beat you. I got here in one piece... so far.
[lifts up Willie's patch]
Mikey: So... that's why they call you One-Eyed Willie... One-Eyed Willie.
[takes a breath from his breathalizer]
Mikey: We have a lot in common, you and me. One-Eyed Willie. You're the first Goonie.
[the rest of the Goonies show up]
Mikey: Yo. Hi guys. How's it going? This is Willie... One-Eyed Willie. Say hi, Willie. Those are my friends... the Goonies.
[pauses]
Mikey: How long have you guys been standing there?
Brandon: Long enough, Mikey. Long enough.

Richard: Hey I've got a great idea you guys! Slick shoes!
Mikey,101711: [together] Slick shoes? ARE YOU CRAZY?
Andy: DATA!
Francis: [Jake tries to push Francis over the log] DON'T PUSH JAKE!
Jake: I'm not pushing Francis now hurry up!
[Francis slips and falls on his crotch]
Mama: Francis sweetheart are you okay?
Francis: [High pitched voice] NOOOOOOO!

Mikey: Don't you realize? The next time you see sky, it'll be over another town. The next time you take a test, it'll be in some other school. Our parents, they want the best of stuff for us. But right now, they got to do what's right for them. Because it's their time. Their time! Up there! Down here, it's our time. It's our time down here. That's all over the second we ride up Troy's bucket.

[the Goonies are collecting coins from a wishing well]
Stef: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, stop, stop! You can't do this.
Data: Why?
Mikey: Why?
Stef: Because these are somebody else's wishes. They're somebody else's dreams.
Mouth: Yeah, but you know what? This one, this one right here. This was my dream, my wish. And it didn't come true. So I'm taking it back. I'm taking them all back.

Chunk: Look, how's that? How's that?
Mikey: Oh, you idiot! You glued it on upside down!
Brandon: You dork! If God made it like that, you'd all be pissing in your faces!
Chunk: Looks fine to me.

[last lines]
Mikey: [gives a kiss] Bye, Willy. Thanks.

Mikey: Goonies never say die!

Mikey: [to Andy after she hits a wrong note on the piano] It's OK, you're a Goonie and Goonies always make mistakes... just don't make any more.

Mama: Four waters. Is that all?
[Mikey, Chunk, Data and Mouth nodded]
Mouth: No! I want the veal scalopini.
Mikey: [whispers] Shut up Mouth.
Mouth: I want a good fettucini alfredo. I want a bottle of fettucine, a 1981.
[Mouth makes a kissing sound with his fingers]
Mama: [grabs Mouth by the chin] The only thing we serve is tongue.
[Mouth enters his tongue, she uses the pocket knife, three boys shocked and covers their mouths]
Mama: Do you boys like tongue?
[Mikey, Data and Chunk shook their heads, she laughs and puts his pocket knife away]
Mama: That's all?
Mouth: Yeah, yeah.
Mama: Sit down!
[Four boys are trying to sit down. But, Chunk falls off the chair]
Mouth: Are you all right, Chunk?

Mikey: [calls for a bathroom break] Okay, this is the little boys' room, and that cave over there is the little girls' room.
[Brandon heads to a different cave]
Mikey: Brand, where're you going?
Brandon: This is the *men's* room.

Data: Hey any of you guys ever hear of Detroit?
Mikey: No.
Mouth: Sointenly! Where Motown started. It's also got the highest murder rate in the country.
Data: Well, let me tell you what. That's where we're going when we lose the house tomorrow.
Mikey: You shut up about that stuff, it'll never happen. My dad will fix it.
Brandon: Yeah sure he will. If he gets his next 400 paychecks by tommorrow afternoon.
Mikey: That's wrong Brand! It won't happen.

[Data comes flying into the house knocking over everyone]
Chunk: [saves the statue of Michaelangelo's David] Hey! I bet you guys thought I was going to drop it huh? I know you would think that from good ol' Chunk.
[Chunk places the statue on the table, but it falls off]
Brandon: You idiot!
Mikey: Oh, my god!
[Mikey runs over to pick up the statue and hold the breathalizer in his mouth]
Chunk: [examines the statue] Look, look! It's not broken. It's perfect! Ha ha!
Mikey: [sees that the statue's penis has broken off] Oh, my GOD! That's my mom's most favorite piece!
[Mikey tries to put the penis back on]
Chunk: Oh, my god.
Mouth: You wouldn't be here if it wasn't.
Mikey: Shut up, Mouth!
Brandon: Shut up, Mouth.

Brandon: [Rosalita screaming in spanish] What's she saying Mouth? Translate.
Mouth: No pen. No write. No sign!
Mikey: No, Dad. Don't sign it!
[Rosalita runs over to Mrs Walsh and pulls out her hand and empties Mikey's marble bag]
Mikey: Dad! Dad! It's my marble bag. The Fratelis forgot to check it. I emptied out all of my marbles and put the jewels in. We don't have to leave the boon docks!
Irving: [ripping up the foreclosure document] They'll be no more signing today or ever again.
[cheering]

Chunk: Listen, okay? You guys'll never believe me. There was two cop cars, okay? And they were chasing this four-wheel deal, this real neat ORV, and there were bullets flying all over the place. It was the most amazing thing I ever saw!
Mikey: More amazing than the time Michael Jackson come over to your house to use the bathroom.
Brandon: More amazing than the time you saved those old people from that nursing home fire, right?
Mouth: Yeah, and I bet it was even more amazing than the time you ate your weight in Godfather's pizza, right?
Chunk: Okay, Brand. Michael Jackson didn't come over to my house to use the bathroom. But his sister did.

Andy: I can't tell... if it's an "A sharp" or if it's a "B flat"!
Mikey: Heh, if you hit the wrong note, we'll all "B flat!"

Mikey: What are you doing? It took him 376 lawn jobs to get that bike! That's his most favorite thing in the world!
Mouth: Now it's his most flattest thing in the world. Let's go!