The Best SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 11, Episode 18 Quotes

Squidward: [to the beached Pearl] Pearl! Are you all right?
Pearl: Oh, Squidward! I'm so sorry I didn't listen to you!
Squidward: It's okay! Let's just get you out of here!
[He tries to pull on her legs, but she's too heavy. He's sent flying backwards. He tries pulling on her legs again but this time he ends up tearing his own arms off]
Squidward: Okay! Okay, just hold on a second!
[He darts off]
Pearl: Hold on? What are you...?
[His arms having grown back like nothing happened, Squidward puts the bicycle pump into Pearl's blowhole and pumps as fast as he can. Pearl inflates so much that she starts to float into the air. Squidward yanks the bicycle pump away from her blowhole. Pearl deflates quickly, and lands straight onto the back of Squidward's bike]

Trash: [like Pac-Man] Trash, trash, trash, trash...

Pearl: Oh, thanks for the ride, Dylan!
Dylan: No prob.
[Squidward hauls himself up through the papier mache head of Pearl, out of the tunnel she dug]
Squidward: She's gone! Krabs is gonna kill me!
[Babbling in a blind panic, he starts off for his bike... but he mustn't be too reckless. Carefully he checks and checks again whether his helmet is secure, his bike wheels are flat-proof, and his elbow pads are in place. Then he races after Pearl and Dylan]

Squidward: That is one morbid teen.

Squidward: The surface, eh? That SpongeBob-free shift will be mine.
[He begins to pedal up the cliff, and goes a few hundred yards before he stops to catch his breath. His legs start to buckle. He slides back down, but hits the brakes before the bike touches the bottom. He groans and sweats as he continues pedaling up that vertical stretch of road with incredible willpower]
Squidward: SpongeBob... shift... mine!

Pearl: Oh, thanks for watching the house tonight, Squidward. I'll be back late, so don't wait up for-
[Squidward catches Pearl on the back of her dress with a fishing line]
Pearl: - ME!
[Squidward tries to reel her in]
Squidward: [straining] Your dad said we have to stay in tonight... Nggggh! But that doesn't we can't have... Dnnnngh... fun!
[Pearl flops about on the ground like a beached fish. Squidward drags her back home]