The Best The Office, Season 5, Episode 26 Quotes

[trying to stall the game until Pam returns]
Dwight: How many people need to get hurt before we learn a valuable lesson? One? Two? Three? Four?
David: Dwight...
Dwight: No, no. Hear me out. Five? Six?
David: Dwight.
Dwight: Seven? Can I finish, please?
David: Okay.
Dwight: Eight?

Phyllis: Ow, my ankle!
Dwight: What happened?
Phyllis: I... twisted it.
Dwight: You weren't even moving!

David: Okay.
- Eight?
- Oh, Dwight, we're so close.
- Just buy us a few more minutes.
- Well, they just called me in for an update, so I'll call you right back.
- Okay. Okay, great.

Michael: [Hears everyone laughing] What's so funny?
Pam: You had to be there.
Michael: Oh, a geography joke.

Angela: Rolf, did you not hear me?
Rolf: I don't hear cheaters, tramps or women who break my friend's heart.

[Sighing] Well, that was a tough audience.
- Yeah, but we wrote it specifically for this audience.
- Believe me, I have seen a lot of tough audiences in my time, and that was one of them.
- Well, I'm glad we did it.
- Me, too.

Michael: I didn't find the perfect moment, because I think today was about just having today. And I think we are one of those couples with a long story when people ask how we found each other. I will see her every now and then, and maybe one year, she'll be with somebody, and the next year, I'll be with somebody and it's gonna take a long time. And then it's perfect. I'm in no rush.

Rolf: That's true!
- This reminds me of the hr convention last fall.
- Oh, yeah, with Bernie and efrem. That was hilarious.
- Really, really funny.
- Really funny.
- Listen, guys. One more point and we play corporate.

Pam: Tell them what happened last year.
Jim: I had this huge spider in my baseball mitt.
Pam: No, no, that guy who hit on me.
Jim: Oh, right. Some drunk guy hit on Pam last year. Said he was grabbing her for balance.
Pam: [Pointing to her breasts] Yeah, you don't grab *these* for balance.
Jim: [considering] Well...

Dwight: Normally, I don't condone leaving early, but I have an appointment with the horse doctor. How that horse became a doctor, I don't know. No, I'm kidding. He's just a regular doctor who shoots your horse in the head when its leg is broken.

[about her volleyball skills]
Pam: Maybe I played a little in junior high and in high school. Maybe a little in college. And went to volleyball camp most summers!

- What's so funny?
- You had to be there.
- Oh, yay, geography joke.
- Oh. Wow, okay. All right, let's all go home. Come on. See you all tamale.
Andy: Bye.
- See you later, Michael.

Jim: Hey, Dwight. Uh... Send in the subs.

Michael: Holly and I can never be just friends. I wrote down a list of bullet points why Holly and I should be together, and I'm going to find the perfect moment today and I'm going to tell her. Number one, "Holly, you and I are soup snakes." And the reason is because in terms of the soup, we like to... That doesn't make any sense. We're soul mates. Holly and I are soul mates.

David: [after Scranton scores a point] Nicely done. We're still gonna crush you though.
Charles: Yes we are!
Rolf: You suckers are going down! They're gonna wipe their asses with your serves... and *piss* all over your faces!

Dwight: Rolf is my best friend. We met a shoe store. I heard him asking for a shoe that could increase his speed and not leave any tracks.

- Normally, I don't condone leaving early, but I have an appointment with the horse doctor.
- How that horse became a doctor, I don't know.
- No, I'm kidding.
- He's just a regular doctor who shoots your horse in the head when its leg is broken.