50 Best The Sopranos, Season 2, Episode 13 Quotes

Meadow: My friends don't judge me. And fuck them if they do, I'll cut them off.

- Brushed her teeth with this.
- Every night she'd drink me under the fucking table.
- I'd eat her out while I was down there.
- Hey, puss.
- She even really exist?
- Fucked up.

- Yeah, but I got an "a" rating. It's...
- Of course. Nobody's saying.
- Is that Artie?
- Hey, ton!
- Send him up!
- Go to sleep. You don't make any sense when you talk.
- Send him up!

- You look beautiful, carm.
- Come here.

Salvatore: We got any good tequila? You know that acupuncturist down in Puerto Rico? 26... Tell you, this broad, her ass was the second coming. Never wore panties. Brushed her teeth with this shit. Every night she'd drink me under the fucking table. And I'd eat her out when I was down there.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Hey, Puss. Did she even really exist?

- Oh, pussy.
- Oh.
- Come on in.

- You might as well just leave me here.
- Motherfucking fucking...
- I think you have food poisoning.
- Fucking dreams. Jesus Christ!
- Oh, it's all right. It's all right.
- Where is he?
- Who?
- Pussy.

Paulie: [Tony, Paulie and Silvio are about to execute Pussy,sadly] you were like a brother to me.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [teared up] to all of us.

[Mme] Where are you going?
- I don't know.
- What are you looking for?
- Somebody's looking for me.
- Who?
- I don't know.
- "Our true enemy has yet to reveal himself."

- What?
- So do you still like your coat?
- I love my coat.

- You guys need another picture of me for your wallets?
- Other hand.
- Tony soprano, weak in the knees.
- Can't stand the heat?
- I got food poisoning.
- You think this bothers me, you fuckhead?
- This way.

- What?
- Jesus Christ.
- I gotta sit down.
- I feel like I can't stand.
- Is that okay, Tony? That I sit?
- Get the weights.

- Fucking motherfucking wogs!
- Mom, what's going on?
- Your father is sick.
- Oh, my god, daddy! What happened?
- He went to an Indian restaurant.
- That is so racist!
- Who's letting those big ones?
- There better be coke left in that fridge is all I can say.

- You've never dealt with your anger.
- Look at the cost.
- You are the biggest threat to yourself.
- But that's what being human is.
- But some people are more self-destructive than others.
- You gonna make me eat something now?
- Maybe.
- If you keep this up.
- No.

- Sorry. Right.
- Philly, yeah.
- Thought you were your brother.
- I just bought a sable off him.
- I'm sorry I had to do that.
- Fuck this.
- They're never coming.

- Wondered about that chicken.
- Probably a fucking cocker spaniel.
- Stop it, Tony. Here, lie back.
- Well, you feel a little hot.
- Fucking goddess with the six arms.
- No wonder.
- Here.
- Sip. I said sip, Tony.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [referring to his mother] ... They won't have her back at Green Grove.
Barbara: Tony...
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: She was abusive to the staff!

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [At their kid's high school graduation] great to see your kid graduate huh?
David: Yeah, the youth, that's what's important. What we do are small potatoes
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: and Eric, state college, right?
David: [Referring to the fact they can't afford to send him to a private university] he got accepted to Georgetown, a little money "pinch"
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Listen, I heard you and Charlene split up
David: Christine. I'm getting the fuck out of here, I got a job on a ranch out west
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: What? Don't make me fuckin laugh
David: Hey, I lived in New Mexico until I was eleven remember? You ever try riding?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [after looking down at his weight] uh, no
David: The airlines are running specials non-stop into Nevada, fly right into Vegas, you should come hang out: new day
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Vegas huh? Alright Davey. Take care of yourself, drive safe

- It's fucking alive! It's alive!
- Oh, my god! Oh, my god!
- Tony, what did you do?
- It's for you.
- Oh, my god!
- Yeah. We're having a good week.
- Ah, ah, ah.

- Sadness.
- You go off on a racist rant about Indian food...
- Your "demented old bat" of a mother.
- What else has happened?
- Nothing.
- After two years treating you,
- I've learned things.
- And I pick up sorrow coming from you.

- You know, I could use that cup of coffee.
- Yeah, right.
- We don't need to see this.
- I promised gab I'd get
- 10 bags of garden mulch...
- Before I did anything today.
- See? And you're sitting there?
- Shame on you.
- How long's he taking?

- Oh, Jesus Christ.
- But mostly I talked up the scatino bust-out.
- Nothing federal that'll link you.
- They need serial numbers.
- I'm telling you. This disinformation shit is an effective technique!
- It's a frigging ace!

Salvatore: President Franklin is my best friend.

- Three hearts and a seven. Queen bets.
- Here.
- Make it a dime.

- I know. Tony's your best friend.
- President Franklin is my best friend, and he's in there.
- Look, some cooperators, when they get their new identity...
- They do pretty fucking good.
- One snitch became garbage commissioner...
- Of a good-sized city in Florida.

- You should come hang out. New day.
- Vegas, huh?
- All right, Davey.
- Take care of yourself. Drive safe.
- I'm so proud of you. My little baby.
- Sal knew it was today. I told him.
- He's so self-centered.

Tony: My mother, my fuckin God damn idiot of a mother, you'd think she was never married to Johnny Soprano
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Is there something else bothering you Anthony?
Tony: [referring to his mother] That's not enough? Fuckin demented old bat
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: You're so angry with your mother and the airline tickets and I'm not saying it's not serious but a year ago your mother colluded to have you killed yet you never say anything about that even when I try to illicit. If she tried to have you killed a year ago, believe me in your childhood, she's inflicted serious psychic injuries that are still there
Tony: [Jokingly, sobbingly, puts his shoes on her coffee table] poor me
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: And your father: the gangster, tough guy but did he ever protect you kids from this borderline mother? What the hell was going on there?
Tony: What is this? "Little snacks for thought" for me to take home?
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I haven't pushed you enough to confront these things, somewhere along the line I became frightened of you
Tony: Frightened?
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Maybe I should've seen that clearer in the beginning
Tony: [Eventually sings] maybe baby, "I'll have you..."
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Rage Anthony is a big loud flaming self distraction fraction from feelings that are even more frightening
Tony: What feelings might those be?
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Sadness, you go off on a racist rant about Indian food, your demented old bat of a mother. What else has happened?
Tony: Nothing
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: After two years treating you I've learned things and I pick up sorrow coming from you
Tony: [Intentionally changing the topic] I had a dream I fucked your brains out, right on that desk, you loved it
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Well, you threw that me like a rock. Sadness Anthony stay with that. Your mother tried to kill you and you gave her airline tickets
Tony: Fuck you
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Now you're really in trouble,
Tony: [Before getting up to leave] I'm going to beat this shit, you kidding me? And with that

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Oh F**k it's the chicken Vindaloo
[Carmela walks out of the bedroom]
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: F*****g m***********g Wogs!

- I gotta tell you, frank.
- I'd forget about any deli trays coming your way in the future.

- How much you paying for your call?
- I can sell you a thousand hours.
- See this card?
- Sells for twenty dollars.
- I'll give it to you for...
- Seven.

- When did they flip you?
- Tell me. Don't lie.
- Flip?
- Who? What?

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Why are you making me do this, you fat, fucking, miserable piece of shit?

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [while in Neil's office, referring to his mother and the airline tickets he bought through the Scatino bust out] I knew I was giving her a bad ticket: That "voice"
Neil: It's done: it's over, my advice now is to put it behind you. If this is all there is, these twenty-three tickets, they don't have "butt-kiss" and they know it
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: I know it's a small but don't you see? That's the fuckin point, one more minute, if I could've just stood there, saying "Yes ma, ok ma", I hear ya ma", one more fuckin minute I wouldn't be here in this spot. I beat a homicide and I fucked up. I "blew" an "easy one. I "blew" everything
Neil: Tony...
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [interrupts him] No, fuckin "Tony", we got federal charges, we got the FAA, before this is over, their gonna pin the Egypt Air "thing" on me and you fuckin know it
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [sighs, becoming nervous] Predicates up the ass, fuckin RICO case, thirty to life
Neil: Don't think about that now: you'll make bail. There's no "capital crimes", get on with life

[ Loud speaker] Ladies and gentlemen, soon we 7! Begin...
- General boarding of flight 129 with nonstop service to Tucson.
- We 'd like to board our first-class passengers...
- And those with young children and those requiring assistance.
- You can't understand a word they say.
- Aw, go on!
- Livia soprano?

- You'll give me that? Huh?
- Keep my eyes?
- You were like a brother to me.
- To all of us.
- Yeah.
- I'm starting to feel it now too.
- My inner ear balance is off.

- Meadow, are you sleeping?
- Yes.
- I want to talk to you.
- God, am I so not going to miss this.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: In a few weeks, we're gonna be opening up the books, again. I'm gonna propose you for membership. Congratulations.
Christopher: I earned it, too. Got no spleen, Gene.

- Anyhoo...
- Fucking ragheads!
- I don't think so, Tony.
- Those spices kill microbial agents.
- Very smart.
- That fucking Artie bucco then!
- Meadow's graduation is tomorrow.
- Ah.

- I gotta hear this shit all the fucking time!
- What are you doing?
- You're not gonna live with her.
- There's two tickets.
- Stay with aunt Gemma in Tucson.
- Take aunt Quinn, the other miserabile.
- That's all you get from me.
- My sister quintina won't fly.
- Throw her out on the fucking tarmac!

- What's the matter with you?
- It's this fucking swell.
- I'm sick.
- You don't see me all fucked up.
- Don't yell at me!
- I'll fucking yell at you!
- We got any good Tequila?

- All my enemies are smoked.
- Oh, oh, oh!
- Oh, oh, oh!
- Hey, patsy!
- What the fuck?
- Don't bring that in here.
- Wait outside in the car.
- What did I say? In the car.

- I find you immensely attractive.
- Thought I repulsed you.
- You make an effort to repulse me.
- But you like that.
- You just said you find me attractive.
- You're the one that's fucked up.
- Anthony, Anthony.
- What are we gonna do with you?

- Before this is over, they'll pin that
- Egypt air thing on me and you know it!
- We got predicates up the ass.
- The fucking rico case.
- Thirty to life.
- Don't think about that now, Anthony.
- You'll make bail.
- There's no capital crimes.
- Get on with life.

- Oh.
- You look beautiful.
- What the fuck?
- That's right. Get an education.
- That's what I always said.
- Excuse us. Carmela sees you, she's gonna cut you a new asshole.
- I'm leaving.

- Fuck of a way for it all to end, huh?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- These guys, on either side of me?
- They're asleep.
- Don't say that.
- It's not fucking funny.
- I want to see you flopping around down there!

- Take a seat, puss.
- Should we test the anchor?
- See how she holds?
- Later.
- Yeah, right.
- Why you making me do this, you fat fucking miserable piece of shit?
- What, Tony?

Skip: [meeting privately, referring to meeting with Tony] how'd it go?
Skip: [after Pussy hands him an audiotape of the wiretap his been recording] was Sundeep there?
Salvatore: yeah
Salvatore: [before handing him a white envelope full of money] my whole cut
Skip: [handing him a small amount of money from the same envelope] here
Skip: [when Pussy rolls his eyes and shakes his head after looking at the small amount of cash] what's the matter?
Salvatore: what's the matter?
Skip: [irritated] I know, Tony's your best friend
Salvatore: President Franklin is my best friend, and his in there
Skip: look, some cooperators, when they finally get their new identity, they do pretty fuckin good. Some snitch I worked with became garbage commissioner of a good size city in Florida

- Sadness, Anthony, stay with that.
- Mommy tried to kill you and you gave her airline tickets.
- Fuck you.
- Now you're really in trouble.
- I'm gonna beat this shit, you kidding me?
- And with that...
- Anthony?

- Rides nice.
- Let's go down below, check out the mahogany.
- Come on.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [Tony is having a fever dream where Pussy is a fish on ice at a food market] How much you weigh?
Salvatore: Eight pounds.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Lost a lot of weight!
Salvatore: Swimmin'! The best exercise. Works every muscle group.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Get the fuck outta here! You never exercised once in your life!
Salvatore: Anyway, $4 a pound.
[pause]
Salvatore: You know I've been working with the government, right, Ton'?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Don't say it.
Salvatore: C'mon, Ton'. Sooner or later, you gotta face facts.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: I don't want to hear it.
Salvatore: Well you're *gonna* hear it.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [dejectedly] Fuck.
Salvatore: You passed me over for promotion, Ton'. You knew.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: How much shit you give 'em?
Salvatore: A lot.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Jesus, Puss.
[pause]
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Fuck of a way for it all to end, huh?
Salvatore: Yeah.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Yeah.
Salvatore: [referring to the fish lying next to him] These guys, on either side of me... they're asleep.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Don't say that! Not fuckin' funny!
[angrily turns over the table and knocks all the fish to the ground]