30 Best The Mindy Project Quotes

Mindy: First of all, I am not overweight; I fluctuate between chubby and curvy.

Mindy: Okay, okay, look, look. I will take you on as a patient, but you just need to look me in the eye and promise me that you will have health insurance by the time she delivers.
Max: But I can't promise it. I don't know if it's true.
Mindy: It doesn't have to be true I just need to hear it. I do this with guys all the time.

Mindy: I don't want him to see my naked body and then decide he doesn't like me.
Danny: Guys don't care about this stuff as much as girls think they do.
Mindy: That's a bunch of crap. You all say that then go out and date ass models.

Danny: Hey babe?
Mindy: Hey sugar, what's shakin'?

Josh: You sound really pretty. Like you've lost weight.
Mindy: Okay... do not flatter me, or insult me - whatever it is you're doing. Good-bye.

Danny: Was he a man?
Mindy: What do you mean? Yeah, of course he was a man.
Danny: No, I mean like, was he a man?
Mindy: Danny, don't just repeat it and expect me to understand what you're saying.
Danny: Was this the kind of guy who if you heard glass breaking in the middle of the night is he gonna jump out of bed, say "stay here," and look through the house naked with a baseball bat, or is he gonna hide under the covers with you?
Mindy: I don't know, that's a good question.
Danny: Is this the kind of guy who's gonna get grossed out when you give birth or is he gonna dry your forehead and tell you you look beautiful while all that disgusting stuff's coming out of you?
Mindy: I... I couldn't glean that from this one date we had.
Danny: Is this the kind of guy who's not afraid to get in a fight at a Springsteen show because someone really disrespects him? He'll just put it out and he'll take him down right there, right now?
Mindy: Okay, you're just talking about yourself.

Cliff: I'll handle your divorce.
Danny: Why would you do that for me?
Cliff: You have something I want...
Danny: What? Mindy?
Cliff: No something that has had even more men on top of her!

Mindy: Maybe I won't get married, you know? Maybe I'll do one of those "Eat, Pray, Love" things. Ugh, no, I don't want to pray. Forget it, I'll just die alone.

Mindy: God forbid you give away the ending to Downton Abbey!
Danny: What the hell is this show and why does everybody keep talking about it?
Doctor: Shh!
Danny: Why can't I talk?

Mindy: [on phone] Max? I am on a date right now. Do you know how difficult it is for a chubby 31-year-old woman to go on a legit date with a guy who majored in economics at Duke?
Dennis: I never told you those things.
Mindy: I looked it up online, okay? Relax!

Danny: And may I say you look great!
Mindy: Sorry, Danny, I didn't have time to get dolled up for you because I was kind of busy freeing myself from wrongful imprisonment!
Danny: Wrongful? My Godm do you think they'll ever catch the real drunk girl who fell into the pool?

Gwen: Well your life is not a romantic comedy. Right now it seems more like a sad documentary about a criminally insane spinster.
Mindy: It kind of sounds like I'd win an Oscar though.

Morgan: I was born in Rockwood hospital; they took me out Little Caesar style... through the guts.

Danny: So who's the guy?
Mindy: He was perfect, Danny! He was handsome. He had a job. He was exactly seven inches taller than me, which you know is very important to me.

Mindy: I will not work in Staten Island. I will not take a boat to work, like I'm in the Viet Cong.

Mindy: It's my favorite kind of cake: gigantic.

Mindy: And when that hot, mean doll pointed out that even she had a boyfriend, I just started to cry. This is not where I should be.

Mindy: Well, this is kind of a crazy idea, but maybe you could move in with me?
Cliff: Yeah, oh! Move in with you, here! Wow, really?
Mindy: Yeah, things are going so well between us, you know, we're already sharing a toothbrush...
Cliff: We are?
Mindy: No.

Graham: You know sushi restaurants are raping our oceans.
Danny: Oh, is that how your mermaid got pregnant?
Graham: No, it was consensual sex with a sea captain.

Mindy: I guess it's not hilarious when you get arrested for assault at a Bruce Springstein concert.
Danny: First of all it's a Springstein show not a Bruce Springstein concert. You sound ignorant. Second of all, you don't show up at a Springstein show wearing a John Cougar Mellencamp tee shirt unless you want to get punched in the face.

Tamra: Come on, Tamra. If you can date Harvey Weinstein, you can do this.

Mindy: I don't think they thought I would ever go, so they invited me to be polite. But no, I did go. And after four vodka sodas, I realized I had something to say.

Danny: You know I used to think that sex addiction was made up by male celebrities, but now I think it's real.
Jeremy: That's not cool. Yes, yeah I love sex. I do it a lot. I do it well, but I'm not addicted to it. I'm addicted to attention.
Mindy: That is so interesting.

Danny: You look nice.
Mindy: Go to hell!

Mindy: I've been eating for two my whole life and now I've act got an excuse.

Danny: ...the best gifts in life are free.
Mindy: Sure. If you're like a poor mouse in a Christmas special or something.

Graham: Oh, it's bear claw! Yeah! How did you find me?
Mindy: I went to all the loser-iest places I could find Every tattoo parlor, every comic book store, every marijuana dispensary All to find you. Anyway, I wanted to know if the offer still stands to take me out.
Mindy: That ship has sailed.
Mindy: Okay.
Graham: I'm just kidding. I literally have nothing to do.

Danny: That's not a good date outfit.
Mindy: What are you talking about? It's glamorous and it's awesome.
Danny: Girls may like that stuff, but guys don't.
Mindy: Um, I think I know what guys like.
Danny: Maybe. Is your date with Elton John on New Year's Eve?
Mindy: That's not funny. That is insensitive to gay men... and to me.

Danny: Daniel Castellano. I'm the man who's going to take a person out of you. I don't take that responsibility lightly, okay?

Graham: Did you see that? That's how good I am at sex.