The Best The Sopranos, Season 3, Episode 1 Quotes

- Got some girl to take care of my mother.
- Yeah, where'd you find her?
- Agency.

- Even if you don't drag the laces.
- Shut the fuck up!
- Mission control, I'm disabling the line to the phone company.
- Phone line to the alarm is neutralized. Cut it.
- Hold your breath.
- I'm clipping the siren.
- Pick it, Wilson.
- Control, we 're working on entry.
- Estimate three to four minutes.

- You put your grief behind you?
- Let me hear you say it.
- I put the grief behind me.
- I'm gonna go get a coffee and a bun.
- You got a younger son too?
- You ought to bring him to the house.
- We can get something to eat, they can go in the pool.

- Hi!
- Hi.
- Hey, you.
- I love those.
- Yeah?
- Oh, my god.
- Where'd you get them?
- Near my house.
- Ay-ay-ay.

- How are things on bloomfield?
- The Cuban was at the casino.
- Big John's okay with a 60-40 split because we own the building.
- What the hell?
- What?
- The fuck? Is that pat parisi?
- Oh, shit!
- What should we do?

- Think somebody made us?
- I don't know.
- But we're finished for today, ladies and gentlemen.
- Ten years. Ten fucking years he said this thing would last! Motherfuck!
- You said that. What are you doing?
- I told you not to put this shit here!
- Fuck!
- Fuck!
- Never mind that. Save the pictures.

- Do you have contact of Princess bing?
- Roger, control.
- Unit 4, here comes the maid.
- Gray jetta.
- S.e. Team, the location's secure.
- You have 90 minutes.
- Control, we're headed into the sausage factory.

- He's drunk!
- I told John, "look..."
- Let's talk downstairs.
- Motherfucker.
- I don't understand this at all.
- Cocksucker.

- When did you have your last cocktail?
- 11:30 this morning.
- Jesus, Caitlin.

- Der bingle's leaving the bing too.
- Hey, watch it!
- This does not look good. Mrs. Bing bearing north on grand view Avenue.
- She's on boxwood road.
- She's heading toward the factory.
- Abort. Repeat, abort!
- S.E. Team, get the hell out of there.
- Abort, Andy. It's not a go.
- Repeat, we are not a go.

- Stasiu wosilius.
- I'll run that by anti-terrorism.
- Carmela's gone on Tuesday. Tennis.
- We need somebody on her and everybody that's got a key to the house.
- Daughter's at Columbia.
- Why risk it? She's 45 minutes away.
- Put somebody on her.
- Anyone breaks for home, we need to warn the team to get the hell out.

Tony: How's the new stock doing?
Gigi: Up three at the close of The Dow yesterday. Another two so far today
Tony: Beautiful
Gigi: Listen I think we may have a problem
Tony: Log off, that cookies shit makes me nervous
Gigi: I think we have a problem with our "friend" the twin
Tony: Yeah so?
Gigi: My Goomba Joey Flies, he hangs out at The Nest in Bloomfield. So our "friend's a fixture down there and Joey says lately his been into the booze "very heavy", his all fucked up. A couple times they had to help pick him off the floor. Patsy launches into this single malt diatribe about how people can still smile in your face and still be a villain. And that he knows how his brother died and whose responsible and all that there
Tony: He mention me by name?
Gigi: No, me neither
Tony: [to Paulie] you hearing this?
Paulie: How the fuck would know Patsy we clipped Spoons?
Tony: What? That "twin telepathy"?
Paulie: Somebody's putting ideas in this kid's head
Tony: [Sarcastically to Silvio] don't let us interfere with your golf game
Silvio: Maybe a cop trying to flip him, maybe getting him worked up over theories
Tony: He was talking weird the other day
Gigi: What should we do?
Tony: We brought him over from Junior's crew to keep an eye on him so that's we'll keep doing
Gigi: I mean make no mistake this guy must love you but it's got to be hard coming into work every day looking right into the eyes of the guy who ordered your brother whacked and even with a smile
Paulie: [Implying to kill him] we always have the option

- Is that the c-140 microphone?
- They took sound readings. That's new.
- They talk where the ac is loudest.
- That's where we're placing it.

Lilliana: [quizzing him on the questions for the citizenship test, while having a picnic] What is the most important right guaranteed to United States citizens?
Stasiu: Right to vote
Stasiu: [in Russian after taking them out of the picnic basket] What is this?
Lilliana: Special capers from Italy: Soprano kids don't like them. Who wrote the star-spangled Banner?
Stasiu: [uninterested] Martin Luther King
Lilliana: [chastising him] Stasiu...
Stasiu: I want to eat
Lilliana: [correcting his answer] Francis Scott Key
Stasiu: [in Russian] Fuck his whore of a mother
Lilliana: [after sighing] What holiday was celebrated for the first time by the American Colonies?
Stasiu: [intentionally responding with the incorrect answer] Martin Luther King
Lilliana: [irritated] Stasiu, that is the answer to number forty-nine, "Who was the Civil Rights leader?
Stasiu: What sandwiches did you bring?
Lilliana: I don't care
Lilliana: [in Russian] this hostility of yours, why do we even bother having our picnics together? Are you so bitter about driving a cab you have to ruin a beautiful day?
Stasiu: Back at home, I was an engineer with twenty employees and I run from the state to do atomist research... oh, and this bores you?
Lilliana: Don't take those steak knives out, put them with the capers, I'll take them home
Stasiu: [in Russian] They belong to Mrs. Soprano
Lilliana: [in Russian] They have so much stuff. Tomorrow I'm taking some champagne glasses

- Loud and clear. Leave the factory.
- Roger that.
- Wire's in, Bobby. I'm good to go.
- Control, we 're in motion.
- Touchdown.
- Dig, soprano! Come on!
- You wanna join the team?
- You think it's all for show and not for go? Dig in.
- You're out of there, George.
- Unit 3, we 're in.

- There was this weight lifter on the subway.
- He was eating chicken parts and spitting bones back in the container.
- And the whole car reeked.
- This blind man sitting next to him, you could tell he felt invaded.
- We all did.
- Everybody just stared straight ahead.
- New York.

- Creep forward.
- Give us some magnification.
- That baby's gonna blow.
- Tony got about six months left on that lining.
- A shame we can't warn him.
- During his trial we can inform him.
- Except that's at least a year from now.
- By that time, boom!
- Okay, now you see that lamp there?

Tony: [to the FBI agents sitting in a car in front of his house] Listen, I'll save you some gas. I'm just going down to the stationery store and I'll be right back. You don't gotta follow me like yesterday, all right?

Tony: What're you doing?
Patsy: [while adding the total with a calculator] Receipts from Sunday's game
Tony: You got a problem?
Patsy: [caught off guard by his question] What Tone?
Tony: I said you got a problem?
Patsy: [confused] With what Tone?
Tony: I don't know, I heard you got a fuckin problem? Like you don't like being here?
Patsy: I like being here
Tony: You sure?
Patsy: Yeah
Tony: You sure?
Patsy: Yeah
Tony: Don't say you're sure when you're not sure, you put your grief behind you? Let me hear you say it
Patsy: [adamantly] I put the grief behind me

- Why do you quarrel with him always?
- English is his first language...
- He waste our time with those trick questions. "Stop. Men at work."
- How do we know it doesn't mean,
- "stop all men who are working"?
- He shouldn't have taken a point.
- He thinks I'm a hack cabbie from Pakistan.
- Please, where are you going?
- I'm going back to work!

- Mrs. Celeste almost saw my board.
- What a retard rule: "No boards."
- They can't see how useful boards are.
- In the cafeteria, each person could just roll past the food...
- And make their decisions.
- Yeah.
- That food tastes like ass.
- Hit it!

- Don't you have a quiz today?
- Frosh week. What do they expect?
- I'll study now.
- I have a bio lab. I haven't read it.
- Still miss New Jersey?
- It's only, like, half an hour away.
- It's just this transition.
- It's a lot of work.
- New York is an experience that unalterably changes a person.
- It is really great.
- And all this freedom of college.

- Kitty's company sells antiques, so if you wanted a piece...
- No antiques. My house is traditional.
- I'm cutting into your lesson.
- Carmela, bye. Nice meeting you.
- Take care.

Tony: [during lunch, after noticing Patsy isn't eating] not hungry? Have some bragiole
Patsy: no, thanks, I got no appetite: today would've "our" birthday
Tony: [eventually realize who Patsy is referring to] "our" birthday? Oh, yeah..."Spoons"
Gigi: [to Patsy] hey, happy birthday: how old are you?
Patsy: fifty-one
Christopher: who was born first? You or "Spoons?"
Patsy: Philip was my kid brother... by eleven minutes
Tony: hey, it was a fuckin tragedy. What're you gonna do?
Gigi: it's the life we chose, am I right Pat?
Patsy: my brother was never a "heavy" guy with anybody. I mean he was a sweet gentle man
Furio: [before Patsy nods] your brother was your twin brother?
Tony: Philly, "friends" like us, called him "Spoons." Somebody "whacked" the kid couple months before you came home
Furio: so, your identical twins... or the other "kind?"
Patsy: identical
Tony: [before passing salad to him] have something to eat
Patsy: there's a twin "bond", unless you "experienced it", you can't "understand it"
Tony: [to Patsy] you're ok with onions, right?
Patsy: it might sound fuckin crazy to you?
Christopher: hey, nothing sounds "crazy" anymore the older I get
Gigi: well, it's over, right?
Christopher: don't it happen, that identical twins a lot of times, they'll die within a couple days of each other?
Patsy: [before everybody chastises him for talking about not wanting to live] that would've been ok with me, believe me... I miss him so much
Tony: [before everybody raises their drinks to toast his birthday] yeah, well that's natural but you're with us now so why don't you leave the morbid shit back to Junior's crew and have a happy birthday?

- Unit 1, baby bing headed your way.
- Copy, control.
- Unit 2, you got bada bing headed your way.
- Excuse me. Unit 3,
- Mrs. Bing also in motion.

- When's this puppy going in?
- Tomorrow.

- Hey.
- Where is everybody?
- What're you doing?
- Receipts from Sunday's game.

- Hold your position.
- Okay.
- Stand up straight.
- Okay.
- Here you go.
- See? Low to high.
- All right, I can't do this with you.
- Okay.
- Sorry.

- Racket back, carmela! Come on!
- Fuck.
- No, that's good.
- Shouldn't that housekeeper be out?
- Take a look.
- Ow!
- Okay, guys, collect.
- Ade, let me work with you here.
- Carm, you collect.

- Excuse me?
- You scared me.
- Sorry. Is the west essex language school around here?
- There.
- Is it coed?
- What?
- You wouldn't happen to be Polish?
- Yes.
- That's... my grandmother is Polish.

- Lilliana's making her a leg of lamb to take.
- In lodz, I had Grant from the state to do an autonomous research.
- Why don't you use it?
- I'll take the bike.
- Jesus, already. No, you go ahead.
- Stas said he could smell the mildew down here. Right, stas?
- We've gotta let the place dry out.

- Kitty got this dot-com job in San Diego, so we're moving.
- I didn't even know you were married.
- Yeah.
- But you're in luck.
- Birgit is taking over.
- How wonderful.
- I never even played once.
- That's why you're here.
- Carm, I was wondering about letters of recommendation...

- What class you ditching?
- Assembly.
- Excellent Jersey.
- Yeah.
- Wait. You went out for jv ball?
- Yeah.
- Mr. Quadriplegic, remind me not to visit you in the hospital.
- That is a cool shirt.
- Yeah.
- What position?
- Douche bag.

Silvio: the fuck you doin? Lunch is ready
Paulie: I'm gonna watch my hands
Silvio: you just watched your hands
Paulie: and then I tied my shoes
Silvio: so what?
Paulie: I can't stand touching fuckin shoelaces: you ever go and tie your shoes, and notice the end of your laces are wet? For what? Why would they be wet?
Silvio: I got no fuckin idea
Hesh: you ever go to public bathrooms? And stand at the urials...
Hesh: [interrupts him, irritated, not wanting to hear and talk about un-sanitized bathrooms while they eat] oh come on, will ya?
Paulie: [to Hesh, referring to Silvio] his asking, I'm telling him and frankly, it's important. Even if the laces are dry and even if you don't touch the body of the shoe, bacteria and viruses migrate from the sole up
Christopher: you see this on TV?
Paulie: I gotta watch TV to figure out the world? Your average shithouse is a sewer. You look at lady's johns', you can eat maple walnut ice cream from the toilets: there's exceptions, but in men's? Piss all over the fuckin floor, urials jammed with cigarettes and mothball cakes, it does nothin to kill germs: even if you keep your shoes tied and you're not dragging your laces through urine...
Silvio: [interrupts him, annoyed] shut the fuck up

- Do we have to impact this family's privacy?
- First we determine where to best place the wire.
- Then the listening device will be fabricated and we install it.
- See that they limit both entrances to the basement.
- It's not a better homes and gardens tour.
- Happy hunting.

- But it's gotta be hard coming in to work...
- Looking in the eyes of the guy who had your brother whacked.
- And even having to smile.
- We always have the option.
- Mrs. Bing in motion.
- We got the housekeeper then it's all yours.

Tony: [to Gigi, referring to his user name on his laptop computer] Log off, that cookies shit makes me nervous.

- Okay, fellas and gals, our big day.
- As I speak I have baby bing, on time.
- Handing off to you, George.
- I'm on baby bing's carpool vehicle.
- Furio giunta Cadillac returning.
- Went past me about five minutes ago.
- Der bingle's up early.
- He's in the cadoo.
- Copied. I got the handoff.
- Roger that.