Top 50 Quotes From Silvio Dante

Paulie: The Skip seeing a psychiatrist, how does that sit with your ass?
Silvio: I usually do sit with my ass. Why don't you sit with yours?

Junior: [During a sit down meeting over the speakerphone] Ralph insulted John's wife?
Johnny: That's correct
Junior: What did he do exactly?
Johnny: He made a very hurtful remark that's not worth repeating
Silvio: Let's point out too it's only been "alleged" on what he said
Johnny: He "allegedly" said what he said to a group of people: "friends of ours"
Junior: If you weren't there how do you know it's true?
Johnny: I'm not at liberty to say
Tony: With all due respect but this is bullshit somebody in my family is talking out of school and you don't have the liberty to who? I should be making the beef here
Junior: My nephew's right
Johnny: I want to average her honor, this is my right to do
Tony: Alright fine you bring in here who ever told you, if he collaborates with what you're saying I'll give you ralph on a platter
Johnny: Is nothing scared? What happened to this thing? If this was years ago would I even have to ask? We bend more rules than the Catholic Church
Tony: Let's just say for the of argument ralph said what he said is clipping him going to un-ring that bell?
Carmine: Nobody's getting clipped
Johnny: I want satisfaction
Silvio: Will you accept an apology?
Johnny: That ship that has sailed
Carmine: Your being unreasonable John
Johnny: Ralph's the only one who can handle the Esplanade? Put the other guy in
Carmine: There's millions of dollars are at stake
Johnny: Again with the money?
Carmine: Yeah, again with the money, it's settled name a price or the fuck over it
[John leaves]

Paulie: [before a sit down requested by Paulie, referring to Ralph not arriving on time] I got here first? Cocksucker
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: sit down, relax, have a coffee, he'll be here
Paulie: I think I got ma situated
Silvio: the Brother Joe home?
Paulie: [referring to the odor] nah, fuck that, we went there, almost gagged. Nah, we're gonna go with Greene Grove, based on your recommendation, Tone
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: I never recommended it
Paulie: yeah, you did, when your ma there. By the way, did she have the Silver Bird package?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [uninterested] I don't know
Paulie: you know, Sil, it's the most expensive nursing home in the state
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: It's a retirement community
Paulie: the level of care they have, ma was crying
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: eight grand a month?
Paulie: who gives a fuck? You see a seeing eye dog over here? Cup full of pencils?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: I'm not trying to insult you, I'm just saying
Paulie: It'll be tough but I'll figure it out: worth every fucking penny, I'm the hero now
Paulie: [to Ralph when he arrives] you're late
Ralph: [before Paulie tries to lunge at him for the insult] well, tomorrow I can be on time, but you'll be stupid forever
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [to Paulie while holding him back] hey, sit down
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [to Ralph] sit the fuck down and shut up
Silvio: so, who wants to talk first?
Paulie: what's to fucking talk about? I'm owed that fifty g's
Ralph: [raises his voice] fucking alarm code? Fifty g's? Five tops, maybe? As a finder's fee?
Paulie: Freaking heist fell in your lap: you spend your days fucking those fat pigs in the outer office at the carpenters union
Ralph: three mill a year from construction this family sees
Silvio: alright, five is the negotiating platform, take it easy
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [referring to Ralph's crew] It's not five we all know that: these guys did the heavy lifting
Paulie: Little Paulie was good to go, fucking car never came. They left him waiting outside his house like an asshole in fucking eleven-degree weather
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [after thinking it over] Ralph, give him 12k
Paulie: I can't believe this
Ralph: why not? Last year you believed that flying saucers were over East Rutherford
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [to Ralph, irritated from his insults] I'm not gonna tell you again
Paulie: T, I'm asking you to reconsider this
Silvio: [replying for Tony] Paulie, you requested a sit down, he heard you out

Silvio: [Referring to killing protest leader, Professor Del Redclay] Maybe we should just whack this prick
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Who the fuck are you kidding? All you thought about was Blackjack
Silvio: What?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: You think this stay in the country was free don't you? Well, it wasn't. Fuckin Chief Smith wants Frankie Valli to come up there and play for a week, that's what this whole junket was about
Silvio: Frankie?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Yeah that's right. That's why he "butt holed" me God damn it. His bad over Frankie's manager so the chief wants me to call him directly as payback for him reaching out to Redclay, but you're making the call
Silvio: I haven't seen Frankie for years
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [Angrily] tough shit, you're making the fuckin call. You and this fuckin parade already
Silvio: I don't know what you're so hot about. They're discriminating all Italians as a group when they disallowed Columbus
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Oh, will you fuckin stop? "Group". What the fuck happened to Gary Cooper? That's what I'd like to know
Silvio: He died because he fought all those Sioux in all those westerns
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Oh fuck that. Gary Cooper: there was an American. The strong, silent type. He did what he had to do. He faced down the Miller gang when none of those other assholes in town would lift a finger to help him. Did he complain? Did he say "oh, I come from this poor Texas, Irish, illiterate background or whatever the fuck so leave me the fuck out of it because my people got fucked over."
Silvio: T, not for nothing, but you're getting confused here. The guy was in the movies
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: What the fuck difference does that make? Columbus was so long ago he might as well been in a fuckin movie. Images you set
Silvio: The point is: Gary Cooper, the real Gary Cooper or anybody named Cooper never suffered like the Italians. If they met a guy like him, they fucked everybody else. The Italians, the Polacks, and the blacks
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: If he was a Madigan around nowadays he'd be a member of some victim's group: the fundamentalist Christians, the abused cowboys, the gays, whatever the fuck
Christopher: He was gay, Gary Cooper?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [shouts, irritated] No! Are you listening to me?
Silvio: Hey, people are suffering
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Did you? Except maybe the Feds?
Silvio: My grandparents got spit on because they were from Calabria
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [Referring to the surname of the Chicago mobster] let me ask you a question? With all the good things you have in your life: did they come to you because you're Calabrese? I'll tell you the answer. The answer's no. you got a kid in Lackawanna College, you got a wife, who's a piece of ass, at least she was when you married her. You own one of the most profitable topless bars in all north Jersey, now did you get all that because your Italian? No you got it because your you, you're smart because you're whatever the fuck. Where the fuck is our self-esteem? That shit doesn't come from Columbus, The Godfather, or Chef fuckin Boyardee
Silvio: We've got to tiptoe around the Indians don't we? We can't call our teams the Braves, or the Tomahawks
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: You take it up with Frankie Valli when talk to him

Silvio: [at Artie's restaurant] Where'd they get this bread? The bread museum?

Silvio: [talking privately, referring to Feech La Manna] He's an egomaniac, always was, always will be. Nothing's ever good enough, praise, money. Comes into this office and starts ordering people around?
Tony: his old, how do you think that feels?

Bobby: [after entering the room] Vito, he was found beat to death in a motel near Fort Lee, my cop up there told me. Plus the homicide detectives said he had a pool cue rammed up his ass
Christopher: [Jokingly] Lovers' quarrel, maybe
Tony: Look, we all know who did it
Christopher: Phil: fuckin balls on that prick, what'd I always say about him?
Carlo: [after entering the room and noticing the expression on everyone's face] I see you've heard the news, it must've been Phil right?
Silvio: [comparing him to the fictional reporter that appeared in the comic books] Jimmy Olsen over here
Carlo: I know I was out of line but still you kind of have to admire the guy. It's not all talk with him. I'm just saying he saved us all a lot of trouble right?
Tony: It can't have been an easy decision: killing a made guy. Naturally Phil won't brag about it because he can't. Phil's in a touch situation. His family, honor was stained. If I got to Vito first that result would've been the same
Patsy: I wish I borrowed money from Vito

Silvio: [to Patsy] I understand we have some business to discuss? The floor is yours
Patsy: [to Little Paulie] Go on, tell them
Little: I drove out to Youngstown to see uncle Paulie and he was hoping you can settle this shit with Ralph and those no-show carpenter jobs?
Ralph: Ok, for the record, I had my guy go over the books: we can maybe do two carpenter jobs, one no show, one no work
Patsy: two jobs? On a three hundred-million-dollar project?
Silvio: [to Ralph] Come on, what's the real number?
Ralph: [amused] What am I speaking in tongues here? Two, maybe I can do three?
Little: My uncle's looking for at least ten
Patsy: [to Little Paulie after slapping him on the chest] I'm talkin here
Patsy: [to everybody, referring to Paulie] The guy's in the can, you think you want to keep him happy maybe?
Silvio: [before pointing upwards, implying these orders came from Tony] alright, here it is, and this comes from... for the duration, you will give Paulie five carpenter jobs: two no-shows and three no work. One of the no-shows our friend in Youngstown keeps and one he gives to Chrissy here. The others, the no work jobs, that's for Paulie, how he wants to distribute them
Ralph: It is so decreed, now if there isn't anything else?
Silvio: There is something else. With Paulie in the can, there's a new acting capo of his crew: it's Chrissy, that's the way certain people want it, we trust there will be no ill will

Tony: Fucking weird. My cousin in the old man's seat.
Paulie: It's like "Sun-Tuh-Zoo" says: a good commander is benevolent and unconcerned with fame.
Tony: What?
Paulie: "Sun-Tuh-Zoo". The Chinese Prince Matchabelli. Tony turned me on to him.
Silvio: Tzu, Tzu! Sun Tzu, you fucking ass-kiss!

Carmine Lupertazzi Jr.: [In little Carmine's living room] As you all know, Phil asked me to arrange this meeting after the fire in the Wire Room
Phil: Correction, you asked me to attend and I agreed
Carmine Lupertazzi Jr.: Fair enough, I'm not going to call this a "sit-down" because of the negative implications, let's think of it as "a meeting of minds". So, for whatever reasons, certain incidents have expired lately, in addition to being dangerous, it could have an adverse impact on our businesses, that's bottom line.
Phil: I know Vito's bottom was "impacted" if that's what you're referring to
Tony: Call him what you will, but you're talking about one of my captains
Phil: Captain? "The Ship Lollipop" right?
Carmine Lupertazzi Jr.: Phil, please
Phil: Please my ass, the man was a fucking disgrace
Tony: Before he came out of the closet he worked for me and put a lot of paper in my pocket, yours too
Phil: Talk about earners? How about "Fat Dom" Gamiello?
Silvio: What about him?
Tony: So what fuck would I know about that?
Phil: As coincidence would have it, he was last seen in New Jersey
Tony: So was the Hindenburg, maybe you should look into that too
Carmine Lupertazzi Jr.: Tony, Phil, please we're going off point. Remember, I grew up in all of this and I just lost my friend Rusty and if there's one thing my father taught me was this: "a pint of blood is worth more than a gallon of milk". My business, all of our businesses... this fighting is costing money.
Tony: I'm willingly to move forward, let the past be bygone
Phil: Fine with me.
Carmine Lupertazzi Jr.: A Wise decision, on both your parts. I love to see a truce, wipe this day clean. The no-shows, The Wire Room, Vito, put it all behind us.
Carmine Lupertazzi Jr.: [to Phil] your brother Billy, whatever happened there.
Tony: [standing up] Alright then
Phil: "whatever happened there.?"
Carmine Lupertazzi Jr.: the shooting
Phil: [raising his voice] "whatever happened there.?"
Phil: [Stands up and points at Tony] I'll tell you what happened: this piece of shit's cousin put six bullets without any provocation, what so ever.
Tony: [to Carmine] Jesus Christ, why would you possibly bring that up?

Silvio: [to Bobby Baccalieri after he walks in] you're late
Tony: [Meeting privately with Bobby after business hours in the back of Satriale's Pork Store with Pussy, Paulie, and Silvio,present, referring to Bobby as the last member of Junior's crew that's still alive] Bobby Baccalieri: "the last man standing"
Bobby: I don't want to say nothing
Salvatore: You don't want to get yourself in trouble
Tony: A lot of funerals in your corner of the world huh Bobby? Don't look at the floor, look at me. I want you to talk to that bald cock sucker who calls himself "my brother's father." Tell him we're going to let him keep on earning: "subsistence level." He'll be able to pay his defense lawyers
Bobby: Alright, let me say for him: thank you
Tony: Now you're going to hear some "high end" shit and A, I hope you can understand it and B I hope you keep it between this room and Junior because if you don't I promise you they're going to find you in eight different dumpsters
Bobby: I inherited Junior. I don't think you got the reasons to talk to me this way. I always liked you
Tony: Bullshit, but we'll assume you do now. You tell my uncle he gets to keep five percent of his shy, the sports betting, same with the coke, the joint union is all his ok?
Tony: Now bobby listen, this is very important: he also gets to keep his "stripes", as far as the Feds are concerned they got the boss of this family in jail awaiting trial and if they hear different it creates confusion
Bobby: Got it
Tony: As far as the rest of Junior owns, it's all mine
Bobby: I'll get this to him Tony
Tony: That's it
Bobby: Unintentionally misquotes the words of Senator William L. Marcy. "To the victor, belongs the spoils"
Tony: Why don't you get the fuck out of here before I shove your quotations book up your fat fuckin ass?

Tony: So, what's up?
Feech: [referring to the executive card game] I came here to ask for my game back
Tony: It's my uncle's game now
Feech: Yeah, right, your uncle's. You also keep a lion share of the "rake" and I'm just asking If I can run it for you?
Tony: Why would I need that?
Feech: Eleven years I ran it, no fights: no raids. Not to mention I got it coming? Considering how it would've gone after you took the game down, and if I hadn't been such a prick about it?
Silvio: [referring to Tony] Or if his old man didn't have so many friends
Tony: [after thinking it over] I'll give you twenty percent but you gotta rent the house from me. I can throw some high rollers your way: friends of mine
Feech: [agrees and thanks him] Let me get outta here before I keep talking and fuck this up

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [when Christopher shows his wedding ring to them] is that what I think it is?
Christopher: you are now looking at a newly wedded man
Patsy: [smiles and raises his glass to him] holy shit!
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Kelli?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [after Christopher nods] what the fuck brought this on?
Christopher: [referring to Kelli is pregnant with his child] a "visit from the stork coming up"
Silvio: [jokingly] you ever heard of "pulling out?"
Patsy: [referring to the sex of the baby] know what you're having?
Christopher: boy, I hope. I'll tell you T, with the example you set, plus the wisdom I learned in AA, it's an inspiration: building blocks, home, family
Silvio: yeah, that's what it's all about kid

Ralph: [Before handing him an envelope with money as a gift to his daughter] there he is. John I'm sorry I missed Allegra's nursing school graduation: unforgivable. But I made it up to her
Johnny: [Smiles, before slapping the envelop out of his hand as a way of not accepting his gift and walking away] stick it in your ass
Tony: [Jokingly, suggesting Johnny has a resemblance to the cartoon monster from the breakfast cereal] hey, Count Chocula
Ralph: What the fuck john?
Johnny: [to Tony, referring to Ralphie] keep him away from me
Tony: John, what's going on?
Johnny: [Before walking away] I don't want to talk about it
Tony: [Referring to John's demeanor] what's this?
Ralph: I have no fuckin idea. But I've got better shit to do
Silvio: You saw how it was with them the other night. Something's going on
Tony: Also how is Carmine up my ass about this Freeland Heisen Avenue bullshit? Somebody's talking too much and it's costing me money

Albert: [on his disappearance] What's with Ralph? Fuckin Bermuda Triangle?
Silvio: This thing with his kid, his probably down in the bunker
Albert: I'll tell ya, if I didn't know better...
Silvio: [interrupts him] Are we off the record?
Albert: [nervously] Off the record? It's Tony
Albert: [when Silvio and Patsy don't respond] What? Am I wrong?
Silvio: [before leaving to use the bathroom] Honestly, I don't know, take a leak
Albert: This is bad my friend, I mean don't get me wrong, I wouldn't piss on this Ralph if he was fire but to whack a guy over a horse? How fucked up is that?
Patsy: If it happened to him, it could happen to any one of us
Albert: What's next? Get clipped for wearing the wrong shoes?
Patsy: What can you do? Tony's the boss: centuries of tradition here
Albert: Exactly my point, if Tony did do this, whack Ralph over a horse, that guy would be the first fuckin guy in line to pull the plug

[Tony, Junior, Silvio and Mikey are playing golf]
Tony: Uncle Jun's into muff.
Corrado: What?
Tony: Oh, did I say "muff"? I meant "rough".
[sniffs]
Tony: What's that smell? Did you guys go to a sushi bar?
Corrado: [to Mikey] The fuck's he talkin' about?
Tony: I thought you were a baccalà man, Uncle Jun. What are you doin' eatin' sushi?
Corrado: You fuckin' run off at the mouth, you know that?
Tony: [sings] South of the border, down Mexico Way.
Corrado: Hey listen, my friend. At least I can deal with my own problems. Unlike some I know.
Tony: What's that supposed to mean?
Corrado: Take it however you want. Don't bullshit with me.
Silvio: Hey guys, guys. We're here to play golf or what? C'mon.
Tony: [sings] South of the border where the tuna fish play.

Paulie: [Referring to Beansie] Richie broke a chair over his head.
Tony: Are you shitting me?
Paulie: Then he smacked Beansie's head with the coffee pot and broke his cheekbone.
Tony: Prick, I talked to him yesterday, he's all "sweetness and lights." This "big brother" shit is getting old.
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Hey, how you've been?
Tony: Can't complain. You look good.
Paulie: Where are your friends going?
Johnny: Yeah, tell them to come back and join us.
Tony: No, they're leaving.
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: It's my first time here, the veal is excellent.
Tony: What are we making? Small talk now?
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Nice to see you.
Tony: Yeah, you too.
Silvio: Not a bad ass.
Salvatore: [to Tony, referring to Dr. Melfi's breasts] She had nice "pipes" for the lips, no disrespect.
Tony: What do I give a fuck? I hardly know her.
Silvio: [to Pussy] You would take the tits over the lips?
Salvatore: Trust me, my boy, there's two things I'm good at: pulling dents and spotting good blowjobs, and that sweetie has world class blowjob lips, am I right skipper? You ought to know.
Tony: What the fuck do I know? It was a long time ago. Alright, she was good.
Paulie: Good? Or great?
Tony: Why the fuck are you busting my balls? It was a long time ago.
Paulie: [to Tony] Hey, I remember every blowjob I ever got.
Paulie: [to Sil] How about you? You remember your first blowjob?
Silvio: Yeah, of course.
Paulie: [Jokingly] How long did it take for the guy to cum?

Elzbieta: Mr. Tony, Mr. Sil is here, Mrs Carmela said you should stay in bed
Tony: Have him come up
Silvio: [enters Tony's bedroom with Paulie, Walden and Bobby] I'm right here Tone, we came as soon as we heard
Paulie: Patsy went over to Chrissy's mom's house
Tony: Yeah, that's where Carmela is
Walden: Carlo's coming up
Bobby: How you doing Tone?
Tony: My knee got banged up, he says it's probably going to be ok. You know last thing I remember was pulling away from Phil
Bobby: Skid marks all over the plates, the cops told Carm
Paulie: [referring to Christopher] He had a heavy foot that kid, always, almost put me through a billboard one time
Benny: [as he walks in and shakes his hand] hey Tone, I'm so sorry. I still can't believe it
Tony: Thanks, I know you two were close
Benny: I was making my collections, Anthony Mafay called me, Jesus
Walden: It's Carlo I bet
Tony: [referring to Christopher] fuckin idiot didn't have a seat belt on, his chest filled up, suffocated on his own blood
Benny: Jesus
Paulie: Poor kid
Bobby: Jesus Christ
Tony: Seems like that's the cause of death
Walden: It's not Carlo, its AJ
Benny: [to Walden] Carlo's coming up?
Silvio: [to Walden, irritated] What's with you and Carlo's fuckin arrival?
Walden: I'm just saying
Tony: Their gonna do a full blood test on him: see if you know... if alcohol, drugs... you know
Silvio: It did occur to me, he didn't seem high, did he?
Tony: Are you kidding? I would've been furious. I would've fuckin strangled him
Walden: He'd been working the program very dedicated ever since he threw Little Paulie out that window
Silvio: Let's not go there
Benny: Even before that he was battling that shit
Bobby: He gave it his all
Silvio: Anyway, his gone now, our Chrissy... crazy fuckin maniac
Paulie: Thing to take to heart T, your here, you're alright. You could've been killed for fuck's sake
Tony: What're you gonna do?

A.J. Soprano: What's going on?
Carmela: You are just getting back?
A.J. Soprano: Matt's car wouldn't start
Carmela: Did you eat at least?
A.J. Soprano: Yeah
Meadow: Dad's not so good right now, they made us leave
Silvio: What's the latest?
Carmela: He came out of the coma for a minute, they took the breathing tube out
Silvio: That's good right? That means his breathing on his own
Carmela: They had to put the tubes back in
Vito: God damn Junior
A.J. Soprano: [Unintentionally speaking in the third person as a method of coping with his father having been shot] Anthony Soprano is not going to die. I don't know what everybody's talking about
Carmela: Nobody's saying his going to die
Carmela: [to Christopher, Paulie and Vito, referring to AJ and Meadow] could one of you take them home please?
Christopher: You can't live in this ICU Carmela, two nights straight is too much
Carmela: I'm ok, Mead spelled me last night
Meadow: I'm staying tonight too
Carmela: [to AJ] I want you to go back, people call the house. We need somebody there

Phil: Highland project: your "slice" of no-shows, I spoke to the Union, we can't make five "work" no more, throwbacks. Not to mention, my end's way down
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: now more than ever, I got captains looking to me to "deliver" them the no-show jobs on the account of the medical insurance
Silvio: health care costs these days
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: bitch all you want about John, he understood that ours was a "mutually beneficial situation"
Phil: John's folding fuckin laundry in Danbury: it's on my shoulders to take care of the family, even though his boss just in "name", and I made a decision and with all due respect... it's final
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [to Sil] see, this is what I get?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [to Phil] I never should've let you "slide" on the vitamins
Phil: again, with the vitamins: you told me there were fifteen hundred cases of Centrum on that truck. When your nephew delivered it, there were cartons ripped open, pills all over the fuckin floor, anybody got "shorted"? It was "yours truly", but you know what?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [after Phil takes out money] alright, alright, put it back in your pocket but I gotta get some "relief" on this "situation"

Silvio: [referring to Phil's responsibility behind Vito's death] People are gonna expect a "response"
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: This is what I was taking about
Silvio: We "hit" one of Phil's guys?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [referring to the nickname of mob boss Joseph Bonanno] "Joe Bananas" went after Carlo Gambino, "made" guys got killed: the war went seven years. How many times I gotta say this? "When guys are on mattresses, they're not out earning"
Silvio: [referring to what they should do about their response] So... what?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [after thinking it over] All Phil cares about is fuckin money: his got a wireroom in Sheepshead Bay, right? Our guys have seen it?
Silvio: Yeah

Tony: [angered after hearing Johnny Sack admitted the existence of the mafia by betraying his oath as part of a plea deal, while in Tony's backyard] to think, I thought that piece of shit was my friend once, I hope he dies in there
Silvio: you know how this looks? I wish I was at the court steps to throw acid in his face, just to distance myself
Sal: [before walking up to them] excuse me Tony? I've been meaning to ask you, I was "wondering" about the Sacrimoni place?
Tony: what about it?
Sal: well, now that Mr. Sacrimoni is guilty, you think maybe I could take him off my route?
Tony: what the fuck did you just say Sal?
Sal: [nervously] I don't know
Silvio: fuckin lawnmower man just said John was guilty, T
Tony: he "plead" guilty, Sal, ok?
Sal: yeah, ok
Tony: with this government, no fuckin trial, maybe they stuck tasers on his balls, beat him mercilessly with a rubber hose? You ever think of that?
Sal: no, but of course it makes sense
Tony: don't besmirch the man, Sal
Sal: so, about the yard?
Silvio: [amused, to Tony, referring to Sal] do you believe this fuckin guy?
Tony: [after thinking it over] your done with that

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [Referring to Vito's proposal to Tony by rejoining the crime family and earn money by distributing narcotics in Atlantic City] Vito, Atlantic City, forget it
Silvio: Why the change up?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: I can't keep fighting Phil on this. Our businesses are all entwined. You've got to pick your battles. You want your no-show jobs? Vito's got to go
Silvio: It's the right move T
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: All those weeks in the hospital, surgeries, constant pain, and for what? Come out here and get shadowed with something like this?
Silvio: I'm sorry
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: If Vito wanted to pursue that lifestyle, he should've done so quietly
Silvio: He was, wasn't he? Anyone in particular you want to give this to?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Well, Carlo had the biggest problem with it, let him handle it. It's Vito's own fault, why couldn't he stay the fuck where he was?
Silvio: Don't beat yourself up about this

Tony: Where the fuck you been?
Silvio: [Before handing him a glass of liquor] I had some shit I had to take care of, your going to want a "snort"
Tony: Come on, I just finished my Bialy
Silvio: Take it. Burt Gervasi, his gone
Tony: What happened?
Silvio: I didn't want to overload you with AJ in the hospital
Tony: I don't want to hear that: go
Silvio: Burt let me know the other night his been playing both sides of the fence with New York
Tony: [Surprised] Burt?
Silvio: [as Tony notices a bandage on Sil's right hand] measures were taken. Burt wasn't speaking for just himself. The guys are getting squeezed hard to sway them to new management
Tony: And they thought you'd be part of it?
Silvio: And he got an answer. My hope is now Phil's got the message and talk this shit through
Tony: Talk?

[repeated line]
Silvio: [imitating Al Pacino] Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: What? It's 2006, there's pillow biters in the special services.
Silvio: [Referring to Vito] Let me ask you something: For the sake of argument let's say he shows up, are you going to kiss this guy on both cheeks?
[Tony remains silent]
Silvio: Take Paulie for example. You know perfectly well guys like him don't kick up their full percent to you. You look the other way, it's the price of doing business. By you cutting him some slack now that he's "out of the closet", it'll be just the excuse for guys to go off the reservation and start holding back some serious money.

Tony: [Tony enters the room and everybody becomes quiet] alright let's dispense with the five hundred pound elephant in the room, my kid tried to off himself we all fucking know, that's it? Nobody's got nothing to say?
Bobby: How's he doing?
Tony: They got him "under observation" whatever the fuck that means
[to himself]
Tony: stupid fuck, where did I lose this kid?
[to everybody]
Tony: what did I do wrong?
Silvio: Don't blame yourself
Bobby: A lot of pressure on kids today
Tony: It's enough for him to try to kill himself?
Bobby: It happens
Tony: [to Bobby] did it happen to your kids?
[to patsy]
Tony: or yours?
Patsy: They're all different my son Patrick I love him to death but he can be a moody prick sometimes
Silvio: When heather was fifteen she went through a rough patch
Patsy: Jason same thing, his got the hyperactivity to boot
Carlo: My son too, the older one James
Paulie: He tried to kill himself?
Carlo: No, I don't know he gets the blues
Silvio: The important thing is AJ is getting the help he needs, whatever it is I'm sure it's just a chemical imbalance
Paulie: If you ask me it's all these toxins the kids are exposed to, it fucks with their brains, between the Mercury in fish alone, it's a wonder why there's even more kids jumping off bridges

Silvio: Chrissie, I hear you're doing good with the gambling.
Christopher: You kidding me? With the money I made, I could go work at Denny's for the rest of my life.
Silvio: Yeah, like they would ever hire you.

Silvio: [hands him an envelope] Claude Rains, about fifteen hundred there, should tie you over
Benny: [in the driver's seat] Hey, Sil
Silvio: Hey, kid
Christopher: [before Sil shakes his head] You want something, fries?
Benny: [to Sil] Fuckin something this situation, huh?
Silvio: right
Christopher: I can't even get down to Milt's, "fence" some jewelry
Benny: Everybody with eyes in the back of their heads. Shit, I was Tony's driver
Christopher: It's amazing, you want me to be honest? The favoritism Tony still shows for our cousin, after what his done and I'm supposed to take a bullet for this skeeve?
Silvio: All your uncle's done for you? I need to get into specifics?

Christopher: Santa, we still haven't got one.
Paulie: You wanna do it?
Christopher: Me, what do I know about it? I don't have kids.
Silvio: You don't have to, Santa doesn't have any kids.
Paulie: Yeah, that's strange, that Mr. And Mrs. Claus didn't have kids of their own.
Silvio: Probably why they got into it in the first place.
Paulie: I used to think the elves were their kids.
Silvio: They were running a sweatshop over there.
Paulie: There was something on TV, the original elves were ugly, traveled with Santa to throw bad kids a beatin', and he gave the good ones toys.
Tony: The fuckin' Grinch. Maybe that's where they got the idea.
Silvio: And fuckin' Dr. Seuss ripped it off.

Tony: [after walking up to Christopher and Silvio, Who are talking privately] what's up?
Silvio: A little business
Tony: Like what?
Silvio: Why? You wanna hear this?
Silvio: [safter Tony nods] I was just saying how we have to give a bigger percentage to the union guys and the customs guys
Tony: You're shitting me, right? That's what you guys came up with?
Silvio: Everybody seems pleased with the: arrangement
Tony: God damn it, now I'm gonna have to go down there and go see every fuckin' body from the harbor master on down which is exactly what I was trying to avoid
Silvio: You wanted me to negotiate, that's what we'll do
Tony: Don't make me go down there. I'm tryin to free myself up and do a little global thinking
Christopher: [before Tony walks away] Right

Christopher: This is "Scarface", final scene, bazookas under each arm, "say hello to my little friend!"
Silvio: Always with the scenarios.

[Christopher has been shot; one of the two hitmen is still at large]
Joanne: When you find him, I want him to suffer. You hear me, Sil? I want that motherfucker in agony!
Silvio: Don't worry, we'll do the best we can.

Silvio: the fuck you doin? Lunch is ready
Paulie: I'm gonna watch my hands
Silvio: you just watched your hands
Paulie: and then I tied my shoes
Silvio: so what?
Paulie: I can't stand touching fuckin shoelaces: you ever go and tie your shoes, and notice the end of your laces are wet? For what? Why would they be wet?
Silvio: I got no fuckin idea
Hesh: you ever go to public bathrooms? And stand at the urials...
Hesh: [interrupts him, irritated, not wanting to hear and talk about un-sanitized bathrooms while they eat] oh come on, will ya?
Paulie: [to Hesh, referring to Silvio] his asking, I'm telling him and frankly, it's important. Even if the laces are dry and even if you don't touch the body of the shoe, bacteria and viruses migrate from the sole up
Christopher: you see this on TV?
Paulie: I gotta watch TV to figure out the world? Your average shithouse is a sewer. You look at lady's johns', you can eat maple walnut ice cream from the toilets: there's exceptions, but in men's? Piss all over the fuckin floor, urials jammed with cigarettes and mothball cakes, it does nothin to kill germs: even if you keep your shoes tied and you're not dragging your laces through urine...
Silvio: [interrupts him, annoyed] shut the fuck up

Christopher: [referring to Vito] he was fuckin' stalking you,
Silvio: That's the thing with the gays, still living the closet makes them devious
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [points to the television of Mickey Rooney in the movie Strike Up the Band] Speaking of crystal meth, look at this WYO
Silvio: say what you will about Richie Aprile, when he found out his son was gay, he did the right thing... he disowned him
Christopher: [before leaving] I got an AA meeting
Paulie: [sarcastically, referring to the birthname of Charles Lucky Luciano, sarcastically] Alcohol fuckin' Anonymous now too, Salvatore Lucania must be looking down on all of us with great pride
Silvio: There's gonna be a lot of popular sentiment to get rid of Vito, Phil alone
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Fuck Phil, you know what that's about? His got to polish his reputation as a tough prick, so he can make boss. Vito in Atlantic City, his out there, his not part of us, and we get you know a trinkle of cash coming in each month

Tony: [Referring to trying to determine if Jack Massarone is an FBI informant] I couldn't tell shit, what the fuck am I? A mind reader?
Christopher: So, what's the next step here Tone?
Silvio: [after Tony gives him a stern look] what?
Tony: [Referring to Jack Massarone] He said I look like I lost some weight
Christopher: Tony B wants to pick up some scratch, he can do this Massarone thing, if it goes
Tony: [to Christopher] The fuck is wrong with you? The man is trying to go straight, don't you give a fuck about your cousin?
Christopher: I'm sorry T, your right. That was a great party the other night
Tony: [Angered that Tony B doesn't want to rejoin the crime family and opting to pursue a legitimate lifestyle] fuck him, the guy's useless to me
Christopher: [to Silvio after Tony leaves] was that a yes on Massarone?
Silvio: Tony's got his own process

Christopher: J.T., I want to introduce you to Carmine Lupertazzi: my co-executive producer on the project.
Carmine Lupertazzi Jr.: [To J.T] I heard the tidbits of what Chrissy's got in mind, the genre, and so forth. I've got to warn you, I'm very hands on and I learned that the hard way.
Carmine Lupertazzi Jr.: [to everyone in the room] I want to welcome all of you to the first meeting of possible investors on this project. Some of you know I've had nine pictures under my sub species: four in The South Beach Strumpet series alone, each with thirty thousand plus DVDs in print. That being said I usually find it helpful at this stage to include to my prospective partners and get your inputs, or "notes" as we call them.
Christopher: J.T., you're on.
J.T. Dolan: Well, we've been working on a new kind of slasher film, it takes in the world of... you know...
Christopher: [Interrupts him] It"s about a wise guy with a big mouth, and bigger dreams.
J.T. Dolan: Anyway, they call him "The Butcher".
Silvio: No, they don't.
Christopher: Why the fuck not?
Silvio: Need I remind you of a certain "Butcher" out of AC?
Christopher: Right, not "butcher", go on J.T.
J.T. Dolan: Right, so his kind of outshining his boss so the guy has him clipped, but he's still alive when they cut him up.
Vito: [Jokingly before everyone laughs] Oh, he's going to feel that the next day.
J.T. Dolan: Right, so at the dump his body reassembles itself all except for a hand that got crushed. So he ties a cleaver onto the stump and he goes out to get revenge on everyone especially the boss which is a pretty solid role. Right now its call "Pork Store Killer", but I'm thinking just "Cleaver".
Larry: I'm confused, you said he's dead.
Vito: How is he "evening" up on everybody? He's a ghost?
Carmine Lupertazzi Jr.: [Clarifying the main character in the movie to everyone] as I understood it: a zombie of sorts. Great title by the way.
Patsy: But if they jointed him, he's not going to end up all in the same dump.
Silvio: And how is that a slasher film?
Christopher: What're you talking about?
Silvio: A slasher: Couple kids naked in the lake, a certified manic on the loose, not a ghost.
J.T. Dolan: Actually the manic is almost always a supernatural force: Freddy, Jason, Michael Myers from Halloween...
Silvio: Get the fuck out...
Carmine Lupertazzi Jr.: Easy Sil, he's making a point.
Silvio: Michael Myers is an escape mental patient. Jason and Freddy, different kind of movie.
Christopher: That's the kind we're doing here. Saw, The Ring, they made millions, and that's not even including The Godfather angle which we got here.
Benny: What if they disposed him at stops that happened to be along the same route? Then he would all end up all in the same dump.
Vito: But he's a ghost? I don't know.
Christopher: Ghostbusters, another fuckin' money machine!

Silvio: My daughter got off on this feminist rant. She told me it's demeaning for a girl to be working at the Bing. The fact that these girls make $1500 a week has no bearing with my principessa.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Sil, break it down for 'em. What two businesses have been recession-proof since time immemorial?
Silvio: Certain aspects of show business and our thing.

Tony: Twenty years I've been friends with John. Now he's gotta go.
Christopher: All over a stupid joke.
Ralph: [to Silvo, Christopher and Tony] I was fuckin' around for chrissakes! You never made a joke about Ginny Sack?
Tony: Of course not.
Silvio: No, never.
Christopher: Not like that.
Ralph: Yeah, well fuck him and his highfalutin bullshit. Who does he think he is, Sir Walter Raleigh?
Tony: That's enough of you and your stupid fucking remarks! Go back to Miami and play volleyball, or whatever the fuck it is you do down there, while we clean up your fucking mess! Maybe, even keep your ass alive.

Tony: [Tony chastises his assembled captains who aren't making enough money for the crime family] This thing is a "pyramid" since time immemorial, shit goes downhill, money goes up: it's that simple. I should not have to be coming here "hat in my hand", reminding you of your duty to that man.
Tony: [pointing at Raymond] and I don't want to hear about the fuckin economy either! I don't want to hear it. Sil, break it down for them. What two businesses have traditionally been recession proof since time immemorial?
Silvio: Certain aspects of show business... and our thing.
Tony: Now that's it. That's all I've gotta say. Frankly, I'm depressed and ashamed.

Silvio: I'd stop to eat but I don't want to get to the hospital after Tony.
Adriana: Not hungry.
Silvio: They'll keep him a few days, maybe, observation, do some tests, who knows? He's a strong kid, Chrissy, tough, and very resilient.

Silvio: [after Bobby tells Paulie Sil wants to see him in the back office in the Bada Bing strip club] Have a seat
Paulie: What's up?
Silvio: [referring to telling Corky Caporale to hire the assassins from Italy] Phil Leotardo: The call's been made to the zips coming from Naples, you contact the guy to contact the guys
Bobby: Phil's at his Comare's every Friday night
Paulie: [referring to Tony, to Sil] T know about this?
Silvio: [surprised his question] What?
Bobby: What kind of question is that?
Paulie: [to Bobby] Watch your fat fuckin mouth!
Silvio: [to Bobby and Paulie as they stand up to physically confront each other] Whoa, whoa, whoa
Silvio: What're you concerned about?
Paulie: [referring to the war between the Gallo and Columbo crime families] I lived through the seventies by the skin of my nuts when the Colombo's were going at it: There ain't a bigger cocksucker than Phil Leotardo. I just wanna make sure somebody knows there could be a line to Cozzarelli's a mile long
Silvio: [irritated] Duly noted, so there's no problem, then?

Tony: [referring to attacking Phil's crime family] We gotta hit first
Tony: [referring to agent Harris giving him information on Phil Leotardo] This hooked up tells me all the information I got that this cocksucker already has a target on my back
Silvio: It's a big move
Tony: [asking Bobby for his opinion] So?
Bobby: When he stuck you with the tab on Vito Jr., I said let it go. Obviously, truth is, a fuck like Phil, appeasement don't work

Salvatore: Hey, Sil.
Silvio: What?
Salvatore: What? I've been gone a long time. Let me hear it.
Silvio: [imitates Al Pacino from The Godfather] Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in

Christopher: Wait a minute. What's if Vesuvio's bugged, and the fuckin' Feds told Johnny?
Silvio: Conspiracy theories now?
Christopher: Why not? Create a little dysentery among the ranks.
Tony: First of all, the place is swept once a week. Second of all, what the Feds want is a lot more interesting shit that's being talked about in there besides Ginny Sack's fat ass.

Ariel: See, I sweated blood into this place and he owes me. And, uh, I intend to get what's mine. So please, don't embarrass yourself any further. Just leave.
Paulie: I'm not embarrassed.
[to Silvio]
Paulie: You embarrassed?
Silvio: [shakes head]
Paulie: [slams Ariel's head against the front desk] Listen to me, you weirdo fuck! You give Shlomo whatever the fuck he wants and you forget this 50% shit. You got nothin' comin' to ya. Nothin'! You understand me? Nothin'!
Ariel: Fuck you!
Silvio: Bupkis. Say "bupkis", Paulie.
Paulie: What?
Silvio: That's how they say "nothin'".
Paulie: [grabs desk bell] Fuck that. This is how I say nothin'.
[bangs the bell against Ariel's head repeatedly]
Paulie: How's that for nothin'?
[continues banging]

Silvio: [losing at poker as Matt Bevilaqua tries to sweep up the crumbs under his chair] What the fuck are YOU doing?
Tony: Sil, take it easy.
Silvio: I'm losing my balls over heeeere! This fuckin' moron's playing Hazel? Get the fuck outta here!
Matt: I was just trying to sweep the cheese away from...
Silvio: Why? Why NOW? Leave it there!
Matt: I don't know, I was just...
Silvio: What?
[to Tony]
Silvio: Where do you get these fuckin' idiots, huh? Where do you get 'em? He's sweeping the cheese, I'm trying ta...
[to Matt, shouting]
Silvio: Leave the fuckin' cheese there! All right? I love fuckin' cheese at my feet! I stick motherfuckin' provolone in my socks at night, so they smell like your sister's crotch in the morning! All right? So leave the fuckin' cocksuckin' cheese WHERE IT IS!
[Scoops the rest of the food from his plate onto the floor]
Silvio: Here, here, here! Go ahead. Have a good time!
[Sits back down to make a bet]
Silvio: 800.
Dr. Ira Freid: Call.
Silvio: [to Dr. Fried] And why don't you go fix a fuckin' dick or whatever the fuck it is you do.

Ralph: [referring to the amount of money he robbed from a safe] nice haul, crackin that strong box, almost a 100k
Paulie: where's my half? Fuckin week now
Ralph: well, let's see, after you kick upstairs, you'll net...
Paulie: [interrupts him] what're you, my accountant?
Ralph: I'm better at numbers than nine tenths of your accountants
Paulie: kind of in our ears in the respect department, aren't you?
Ralph: fuck you talkin about?
Silvio: [referring to Jackie Jr., then Christopher and Furio] your future step son, robbed your card game, he pissed on your leg, killed your dealer, shot at two made guys
Paulie: [points to Paulie and Silvio] A, you're talking shit that's none of your business and B, I'm gonna give that little fuck a beating he'll never forget, as soon as we locate him
Silvio: his in the housing project in fuckin Boonton
Ralph: [ignores Sil, to Paulie] so, this fifty, g's, you think you deserve it?
Paulie: deserve? It's my territory

Construction: [Tony and Silvio are looking for Vito after he's been outed as a homosexual. Tony calls Vito's cellphone. A construction worker picks the phone up off the side of the road] Hello?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [on phone] Vito?
Silvio: You got him?
Construction: [on phone] Who?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [on phone] Put Vito on the phone, asshole.
Construction: [on phone] Fuck you, motherfucker.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [on phone] What, are you sucking his dick?
Construction: [on phone] Bet I'd kick your ass, you fucking faggot.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [on phone, yelling] Yeah that's right, telephone tough guy! Put Vito on the phone!
Construction: [on phone] There ain't no Vito, man. I found the phone on the side of the road!
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [on phone] What?
Construction: [on phone] Hang on a second!
[the construction worker tosses Vito's phone under a steam roller]
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [on phone] Where'd you find the phone? Hello? Hello? Oh you motherfucker!
Silvio: What happened?