The Best The Sopranos, Season 5, Episode 10 Quotes

- This is the life, huh?
- I'm with you.
- Yeah, we were just saying that.

- I'll get back to the writing someday...
- But from a position of great wealth.
- Far as male modeling,
- I'd probably be a success...
- But I wouldn't want to be around those fucking people.
- I'm a soldier, Adriana.
- When you gonna understand that?

- What did you say?
- I'm here.
- And I try to care very much.
- Now, get to sleep.
- You gonna punch me?
- Jan? Can I talk to you?
- Sophia, go to sleep.

- I thought we were getting along better.
- So you polluted all the decent lawyers in
- New Jersey so they can't represent me?
- You couldn't play fair.
- I'm not the one that wanted it!
- Okay, so let's just pretend...
- That you weren't begging for it in millions of ways...
- Because I am worn out here.

- What, you picking out wedding cakes?
- Yeah.
- Hope you have better luck than I did.
- Why, you didn't like your cake?
- Your luck's been fucking great and listen to you cursing it out.
- Got something you wanna say?
- All right.
- So call me.

- It used to be you, didn't it?
- Stop making meatballs, Paulie.
- I'm just saying.
- Now you know what I went through.
- Okay, it's the same Gina had at her wedding.
- We should see how it looks on your face.
- Chrissy.

- You look good.
- Feelgood.
- So how we doing?
- Took care of mine last night.
- The Johnson brothers, we'll get tonight.
- Uncle pat was like Johnny mnemonic.
- Right, uncle pat?
- We're playing pinochle. Take a hand.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [Tony storms into Janice and Bobby's home after he saw a news report that showed Janice was arrested for fighting with a parent during a children's soccer game] Where is she?
Janice: It wasn't my fault.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: My name was all over the TV because of your bullshit!
Bobby: It's not simple, apparently that woman's kid was picking on Sophia.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [to Bobby and Janice] Why didn't they collar her then?
Janice: I am suing the township for "wrongful arrest."
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: No you're not! What you're going to do is, you're going to call my lawyer, plea it down, pay the fine and not turn this into one of your cause célèbres.
Janice: You'd take anybody's side but mine, that bitch is lucky I didn't kill her.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: we know that
Bobby: [Confused] What?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [To Janice] You and your temper
Janice: [to Tony] Get out!
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [to Bobby] This is the end of it.
Janice: [yelling louder] Get out!
Bobby: [Tony goes outside and Bobby follows him] I know this looks bad, but on the other hand, she called Sophia her daughter.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: I don't give a fuck., OK I do give a fuck. How many times do I have to tell you? Get control of your wife!

- Johnny should be out looking for the real killers...
- Instead of spending his time on that golf course.
- A whole fucking shipment of cheese coming in next month.
- The imported provolone.
- I guess we can kiss that goodbye too now, right?
- Motherfucker!

- But I didn't.
- What the fuck's he talking about?
- Ichabod crane?
- Nothing.
- Well, here's to the Johnson brothers...
- Whoever the fuck they were.
- Johnson brothers.
- Johnson brothers.

- All right, I gotta go.
- I thought we were gonna do a little hunting.
- You hear the turkeys this morning?
- No, I gotta take off.
- Uncle pat, take care of yourself.
- Be careful of the alligators down there.
- All right, tough guy.

- Right.
- We gonna throw them an engagement party?
- Well, if we can be civil.
- She's so young.
- Same age we were.
- It wasn't all bad.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: You know what they say: Revenge is like serving cold cuts.
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I think it's "Revenge is a dish best served cold."
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: What did I say?

- You make sure he gets the best.
- Thing is, ton, he's quitting the bing.
- And he told sil, "and I'd appreciate it if Tony don't come visit me."
- He don't wanna see you.
- I told him, watch his mouth.
- These things happen, t.
- That's why I don't like to talk politics.

- Hey, ton. What'd you do?
- Knock over a roadside stand?
- My uncle's farm.
- Less than a hundred miles from here.
- It's like a whole different world.
- The bullshit really falls away up there.

- You don't drink no more?
- Clean and sober 14 months.
- Yeah, your mother has that problem.
- Good for you.

Janice: You have every right to be mad at me... and I apologize, I know it's bad for the family, for business but I'm working on it
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Yeah, I know, Bobby told me. So, how's that going?
Janice: Anger management? It's the best thing that ever happened to me: it's such a relief to let go of all that shit. I never realized how much of an angry person I was and how it "fed" itself
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: So, they got you on tranquilizers?
Janice: No. Basically, it's taking responsibility for your anger and you learn to recognize your "feelings" and that their just "feelings", you don't have to "act" on "them"
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: That's just what people want so they can walk all over you
Janice: A lot of anger is "self-importance"
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [confused] Self-importance?
Janice: Problems with authority

- Right now?
- Hey, Tony.
- Yeah, yeah, take it easy.
- Take it easy. Take a walk.
- Get some air.
- Take it easy.
- Take a walk outside.
- Take it easy.
- All right, everybody.
- Take it easy. Take it easy.
- Come on.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Carlo was furious: these guys waited by the Hackensack River all fuckin night
Johnny: Fuckin Vespas never got in my hands
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: This is Port Newark, where the fuck was your longshoremen?
Johnny: Tightened security at the ports: Al-Qaeda
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [after Johnny gets into his Maserati] Carlo was told it was a go. If it didn't happen, how come nobody called?
Johnny: [before driving off] Lot of things didn't happen that seemed like it they happened. Your cousin didn't whack Joey: the Vespas never got in my hands

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [on Janice's calm discipline after Anger Management classes] Mahatma Gandhi over here. Nice.

- Sobriety's hard enough work without having to get mocked for it.
- Oh, Jesus Christ. Why don't you have a fucking drink?
- Because you're driving everybody crazy with this shit.
- The fucking higher power yammering and the sweets...
- And the key lime pie and the... Jesus.
- Order a fucking bull shot, will you? Do me a favor.

- But I feel so much better now.
- About everything.
- It's like this great sadness is beginning to lift.
- Sadness?
- Yeah.
- Well, I'm happy for you.
- Thank you.
- I am.

- Fine.
- You were pretty upset when you left...
- And I wanted to call.
- I began to rue what happened, and I was probably a little...
- I'm going back with my husband.
- Oh, well, that's good.
- Well, all the best.

Christopher: [to both of them] What's up?
Tony: hey there, cous
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Guess who called me this morning?
Christopher: How'd you find me?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: What, you're not gonna guess?
Christopher: Ok, who?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [beginning to talk in code, referring to Uncle Pat Blundetto] Our friend with the orchard
Christopher: No shit, is he ok?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Yeah, sold the place, moving to Florida
Christopher: He should: his getting into his "honor years"
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [implying to the dead body Christopher buried in the area] You still got your can of peaches up there, I just had the car serviced: watch what you say
Christopher: I gotta move that shit, again?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: that development is going up there. Now, obviously, it wouldn't be good for you or our friend if somebody opened the can of fruit
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [referring to Tony Blundetto] so, you and your cousin here are gonna go up there and take care of it
Christopher: [to both of them] I'll do it
Tony: [to Christopher] I'm worried about the old guy
Christopher: [to Tony B] I told you, I'll do it
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: The thing is my old man's got a few jaws up there also, it could make problems for my uncle
Tony: [to Christopher] It's gonna be a lot of work which with Louise around, it could only be done at night
Christopher: That's true
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [referring to digging up the remains and disposing them somewhere else] This thing's gotta be done in two weeks, the latest, bulldozers are coming

- Beautiful.
- Foryou.
- This is mail from three fucking weeks ago.
- The girl didn't even show up today.
- Call the service and get somebody new.
- Two classes, she's telling people how to run their life.
- Don't let it stop you from taking your kids to the rink.

- But I went away for a long time.
- Stood up for this family.
- And you, or anybody, can think what they like...
- But I feel I had a little coming to me.
- Hey, absolutely.
- I was telling Benny the other day.
- He was complaining.
- And what I said about Tony before?
- You know I love him like a brother.
- I love him too.

Sophia: [referring to Janice fighting with another soccer mom during Sophia's game] I'm so embarrassed, I don't wanna see any of my friends again
Janice: well, when you're a parent, you'll see, you'll defend your children like a lion with her cubs
Sophia: you're not my 'parent'
Janice: what did you say? I'm here and I try to care very much. Now get to sleep
Sophia: your gonna punch me?

- Your dad was a sweetheart...
- Even when he had emphysema.
- My house, it was dog-eat-dog.
- Well, be that as it may, the past and all...
- If you don't go to these anger classes they have or whatever...
- This with us ain't gonna work out.

News: [during a news broadcast] In Essex County this afternoon, an incident in sports rage among soccer moms led to the arrest of a Verona woman with ties to the mafia. Our Gillian Glessner was on the scene, what about it Gillian, do you think that other mother should go into the soccer mom protection program?
Gillian: Maybe she should Carl, it started here at Summit Avenue Park during a nine- and ten-year-old girl club soccer match: an altercation between soccer moms that sent one mother to the hospital and one to jail. Parents taping the match captured the melee. Charges are still pending but we do know that the woman shown here being taken into custody is Janice Baccalieri, sister of reputed New Jersey mob boss, Anthony Soprano. I guess you call it a mafia related hit?
News: [after chuckling] We spoke with psychologist Bela Kakuk
Bela: It's a growing problem in our society, psychologists are finding that certain individuals are particularly prone to rage. Almost any frustration, inconvenience, or perceived inconsideration will set them off

- The Hudson valley.
- That legend of sleepy hollow cartoon.
- Scared the piss out of me as a kid.
- Would you mind watching your shoe?
- Oh, sure.
- It's a $50,000 vehicle.
- I don't want it scuffed up.

- Listen...
- Thanks for doing this.
- You didn't have to.
- Fuck that. You're my little cousin.

- I should talk to him.
- It's a shame, because he used to be the funnest guy.
- When was that?
- He's got the world by the balls and acts like everything's a big imposition.
- Being at the top, he's isolated himself.
- Yeah, it's just him and his money.

- Hello.
- Who is this guy, anyway?
- My first.
- Czechoslovakian guy.
- This is the second time I'm moving him.

- Who picked up...
- Our motherfucking, cocksucking vespas?
- In two seconds...
- This is going up your ass.
- It was the guys from New York.
- Phil leotardo and them.