The Best Doctor Quotes

Doctor: She's lucky to be alive. She broke her arm, few ribs, punctured a lung, shattered her pelvis, compound fractures in both legs.
Dennis: Her breasts?
Doctor: Excuse me?
Dennis: What about her breasts?

Dennis: Where am I?
Doctor: You were shot in the head during an armed robbery. The bullet narrowly missed your brain stem and exited the back of your skull.
Dennis: Does-does my dick work?
Doctor: No. Your penis does not work.
Dennis: Kill me.