The Best Helene Beesly Quotes

Michael: More Tylenol?
Sexy: We've already had four. You're lucky to be alive. That bullet went through every major organ in your body. Your brain, your lungs, your heart, your back, your balls.
Michael: It'll take a lot more than a bullet to the brain, lungs, heart, back and balls to kill Michael Scarn.
Sexy: Let's just make sure that everything's... working properly.

[telling the office how Michael gave her her birthday necklace]
Helene: He put it around my neck while I was still asleep this morning. Nice way to wake up.
Michael: Yeah. The rest of the story has been censored due to inappropriocity.
Kevin: Because of sex?
Pam: Kevin!
Michael: Hey, please, Kevin. You're fired.