The Best How I Met Your Mother, Season 4, Episode 8 Quotes

Barney: What does the button do?
Sven: Press it! Press the button for glory!

Barney: The world absolutely needs Woooo girls. If there were no Woo girls, there would be no Girls Gone Wild, no bachelorette parties, no Las Vegas poolside bars. All the things that you hold dearest, Lily, would be gone.
Lily: Those are not the things...
Barney: The souvenir shot glass industry would collapse. So would the body glitter industry... and the stretch Hummer limo industry. Tiny cowboy hats would only be worn by tiny cowboys. And when "Brown Eyed Girl" would come up on the jukebox, all you would hear would be silence... and "Brown Eyed Girl". But who would woo? Would you? Would you... woo?

- You got something you want to tell me? Oh, damn it.
- I told Heather to put everything back on your desk the way it was.
- Bilson told me he wanted to give the job to Ted. So what happened?
- Okay, fine.
- Will radiate the strength and stability that is Goliath national bank.
- Thank you, gentlemen.

- No. No. For two reasons.
- One, pigeons are smarter than you think. They hold grudges.
- And, two, this is our last conference call, Mr. Stinson.
- There are repercussions to screwing over a friend.
- Like what? Like this.
- Hey.

Marshall: This is awesome! Drinking at work.
Barney: We're basically mad men.
Marshall: We are. We're such Mad Men.
Barney: I'm gonna go smack a secretary on the ass.
Marshall: That's totally what they would do on that show.
Barney: What show?

Lily: We saw you woo.
Robin: Saw who woo?
Lily: Saw you woo.
Robin: I didn't woo!
Lily: You did too!
Robin: That's not true!
Lily: Your nose just grew.

- that is Goliath national bank.
- Thank you, gentlemen.
- Older Ted: I left there feeling pretty good about my chances.
- Later that night, we ran into Barney.
- Hey, Barney!
- Give me the good news.
- You didn't get it. What?
- The board decided to go with sven.

Barney: I know. We are Swedish. We are so cool with our baguettes and our Eiffel Tower
Marshall: Dude, Sweden is not France, you know that, right?
Barney: Oh, it's France!

- I love Marshall, but he's always talk-blocking me.
- So come out with me and Jillian then.
- Okay, but I don't want to stay out too late because...
- Remember that thing last month after I went to the place?
- Well, you-know-who said it's fine, but she gave me some stuff.
- You still got that yeast infection, huh?

Lily: Hey, I can woo.
Robin: That's not true.
Lily: I could too.
Robin: It's just not you.

- It's because that is as good as life gets for them. They're really sad people.
- And when they hang out with someone who's got it all figured out, someone like you, it burns them out. It takes away their woo.
- You're just saying that so I don't feel like an old married lady.
- Look at those girls, Lily.
- Look at them and listen to what their woos are really saying.

- Oh, my god, you guys. Last night, we raised $10,000 for my charity to help combat childhood illiteracy. It's a really seflousissue.
- Someone just earned herself an ass-first ride down the dance floor spank canyon!