The Best The Office, Season 8, Episode 10 Quotes

Stanley: I want Christmas! Just give me plain baby-Jesus-lying-in-a-manger Christmas!

- Come down right away.
- I don't know, let me ask.
- Were you quilled?
- Yes, I was quilled.
- And what's its name? Hennefia.
- What? Uh...
- All right. Get her out of here, Dwight.

Dwight: I am always acting in self-defense. Sometimes in preemptive self-defense.

- That's my girlfriend that you're talking about.
- You and I are not together anymore.
- You need to get over it.
- Take your wish back.
- Too late.
- It's already been wished.
- And you promised it would come true. You wrote it in an e-mail!
- So which one are you, a murderer or a liar?

- That's no accident.
- Right. You're right. So maybe it was me who did it. By accident.
- What? I'll figure it out.
- Get to the bottom of it.
- Merry merry.
- Enough of this garbage.
- This is Christmas.

- He used my credit card numbers to send a $200 bouquet of flowers to my wife.
- From me.
- Boom!
Ryan: [Chattering] Look, it's Christmas, so you're allowed...
- Hello.

Andy: Meredith shut your drunk hole right now.

Robert: [Being embraced by Kevin] I feel like a kitten being cradled by a gorilla.
Kevin: Yeah.
Robert: It's been 10 days since I had sexual intercourse.
[Kevin starts to let go as Robert holds on tighter]
Andy: Well, you came to the right place!

- Plus it's fun, you know, cookies, smoked fish, alcohol, people acting stupid.
- You had me at "clookies." I can't wait to find out what they are.
- What should I wear?
- Oh, it's nice. It's real nice.
- People get dressed up.
- I will look so handsome for you, Darryl.

Erin: [to Robert tending bar] I would like another alcohol.

Andy: My ex is meeting my sex. Which is always scary, you know? And not just because you think they might talk about your penis. That's just part of it.

- I don't need a dreidel in my face. That's its own thing.
- And who's that black Santa for?
- I don't care.
- I know Santa ain't black.
- I could care less.
- I want Christmas.
- Just give me plain baby-Jesus-lying-in-a-manger
- Christmas.

Andy: Mistletoe is not an excuse for sexual assault.