The Best The Office, Season 8, Episode 14 Quotes

Dwight: Powerpoints are the peacock of the business world, all show no meat.

Creed: [deleted scene] Florida is 13th in education, 13th in tourism, 13th in cleanliness. It is the worst state in the union.

Andy: Dwight, I have exciting news for you.
Dwight: What?
Andy: I think you're going to like it.
Dwight: You can't tantalize me.
Andy: Oooh, maybe I can. I got an email... from corporate... that told me that...
Dwight: Okay.
[looks at watch and leaves]
Andy: That... you got a promotion!
[Dwight turns back]
Andy: Right? I mean that's not the kind of thing you wanna read quietly at your desk.
Dwight: If you make me head of sales one more time, I swear.
Andy: No, this is legit. You will be assembling a team to go to Tallahassee for three weeks to develop and launch a chain of Sabre stores.
Dwight: Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes, yes, yes, hi-yes! Yeah yeah yeah yeah!

Ryan: Hey, will you put this coat on my chair? I just realized I'm not gonna need it down there.
Kelly: Yes, I will take your coat and I will keep it with me, and I will sleep with it, because it smells like you.
Ryan: No, no, no, no,, just put it on my chair.

Darryl: Val knit me a beanie, but I can't tell if it's a "we're just friends" beanie or a "I'm hot, you're hot, lets get it poppin'" beanie. So, I'm gonna up the ante... give her a clearly romantic gift, and we'll get to the meaning of the beanie.

- Brownie, Pam?
- Thank you.
- Oh, my gosh. It's really good.
- I wouldn't know.
- I'm watching my weight.
- Say, guys, you know what's an even more useful treat is cash. So...
- Nope. It's over. No. Okay.
- We wanted to say thank you...

- Good. Doesn't sound pushy.
- You're just stating a fact.
- Absolutely. Works for me.
- Okay. Sending.
- Well done. And we managed to kill the entire morning.
- We really did.
- He responded, "I.O.L."

Dwight: The Schrutes have a word for when everything in a man's life comes together perfectly. Perfectenschlag. Right now, I am in it. I finally get a chance to prove myself to corporate. I am assembling a competent team. I am likely a father. I am so deep inside of perfectenschlag right now. And, just to be clear, there is a second definition, "perfect pork anus", which I don't mean.

Pam: Oh, Angela, those brownies have walnuts in them, and I think Kevin's allergic to walnuts. You're allergic to walnuts, right, Kevin?
Kevin: Extremely, but I'm gonna fight through it.

- Ryan. No!
- Erin. [Bleeping]
- And Jim.
- You got to be [bleep]
- Kidding me. Okay.
- Okay.
- Florida group, welcome to the team.

Ryan: You have two young dynamic people in this office who know trends, who know youth. That's myself and Kelly Kapoor. You need one of us there.
Andy: Or both?
Ryan: Not both. Just one... me. Or if not me, Kelly.

Dwight: Andy just gave me a chain with three weak links. Have you ever tried to use a chain with three weak links. I have, and now I no longer own an arctic wolf.

Dwight: [about Tallahassee trip] Oh, I'm sorry Stanley. I can't share any more details with you. You see, Andy rejected you.
Meredith: Wait, Kathy gets to go? Why does she even still work here? Pam is back.
Oscar: It just feels like a slap in the face.
Dwight: I can understand your pain and your rage, but you know what? Andy is an honorable man, let us not question his choices. I'm sure he had his reasons.
Oscar: We're not questioning his reasons. I just want to know what they are.
Dwight: I know, you and me both, brother. It seemed kind of random to me, but he was pretty clear. On who he thought truly deserved this boondoggle of a lifetime.
Kevin: Well, he nailed it. Because I do deserve a vacation. Sometimes Batman's got to take off his cape.

Angela: My baby is not a monster.

- She said her name was Brandon, I think.
- Your mom's name is Brandon?
- Yeah, Darryl. My mom's name is Brandon.
- I guess I figured out where I stand.
- This is a love beanie.
- Okay, Florida team, let's reconvene.