The Best The Umbrella Academy, Season 3, Episode 1 Quotes

- What do you really want, Vanya?
- You have something I need, and I want it back.

- resolved to locate and adopt as many of the children as possible.
- Extraordinary.
- How much do you want for it?
- Surely you don't want to keep it.
[in Korean] How much do you want for him?
[in English] You lay one finger on my grandson, I slice you in half!
- Excellent! I like a spirited negotiator.

- -First off--
- -Here we go.
- -Time travel is complicated, people.
- -Yeah, we get it. Your job is so hard.
- Just… what?
- And secondly…
- I no longer have the briefcase.
- Five, where the hell is the briefcase?

- -Get him, Luther!
- -♪ Keep punching my card ♪
- -♪ Eight hours, for what? ♪
- -Luther, what are you doing?
- Protecting our honor, bro.
- Oh shit! We're really good at this!

[in Korean] Are you okay?
- Uh-huh.
- Your stomach! Somebody help!

- -♪ First ♪
- -♪ We got to turn it around ♪
- -♪ Second ♪
- -♪ And put your feet on the ground ♪
- -♪ Third ♪
- -♪ Now take ahold of your soul ♪
- -♪ Footloose ♪
- -[sound of crowd cheering]
- -♪ Footloose ♪
- -♪ Footloose ♪

- All right. Peace and love, peace and love.
- Here I come.
[Klaus groans] Damn it.
- Come at me, litter box!
- Hey! Listen,
- I have amazing hair, all right?
- This was era-appropriate!
- That's all you got?

Reginald: This isn't your home.
Allison: What are you talking about?
- This is the Umbrella Academy.
Reginald: Wrong again.
- This… is the Sparrow Academy.

- -Yeah, we did break into their house…
- -Our house.
- …bust up all their nice antiques and shit.
- Yeah. I don't think the crime-fighting… super nerds are gonna let that go.
- Let's just think of some place off the radar where we can lie low and not draw attention.
- What kind of a weird-ass place are we not gonna draw attention?

- It's just noise.
- No, Marcus.
- It's a message from God.
- Listen.
- I hear it.
- You mind your manners.

- He's making a deal with them.
- I'll handle it.

- -[indistinct chatter]
- -[baby crying]
Manager: Dumb mistake.
[boy] Mom, my hands are wet.

- -Yeah.
- -Would you pass the moo shu?
Klaus: I don't know.
- Doesn't it seem kind of rude that Dad unadopting us didn't change anything?
- -I'm offended.
- -Hold up.
- -[Five] I never said that, Klaus.
- -I'll be right back.
Klaus: How are we gonna know where it changed?

- You should go to the airport.
- And get back to your real life.
- I would if I could.
Allison: Thank you.
- You're a good sister.

- -You didn't have to do that!
- -Oh, I'm pretty sure I did!
- -He did.
- -[Marcus] Get back!
- -[Vanya] Luther, hey!
- -Back off! [grunts]
- Oh shit!
- Bad touch, Luther! Bad touch!
- Sorry.

- -[groans]
- -[glass shatters]
- -[Vanya whimpers]
- -[Alphonso coughs]
Marcus: It's over.
- Go.
- Don't come back.

- -Oh shit!
- -What do we do?
- Haul ass!
- Where's the briefcase?
- Shit, it's gone!
- Vanya, get out of there!

- -[Marcus] Stay down!
- -Luther!
- Vanya!
Sloane: You again.
- Luther, go! Get out!
Vanya: No!

- She saw me for who I really am.
- I'm not ready to give that up.
- I feel the same about Ray.
- We better not have left them just to die in some superhero turf war.
- You need to go home.
- Hug your daughter.

- or how you got past our security, but we're done here.
- You got 30 seconds to get out of our house.
- And if we don't?
- Then we'll have to settle this the old-fashioned way.
- Agreed.

- But I don't think you're better than me, Marcus.
- I ended the world twice.
- And you?
- You're just meat in spandex.
- And I bet you don't want the whole world watching when I prove that to you.

- Hey-oh!
- The skinny one is their weak link.
- Unless hiding behind couches shouting,
- "Where's my daddy?" is his superpower.
- Enough post-gaming.
- They disrespected us, Marcus.
- We need to be out there finding these freaks and taking 'em out.
- Oh, you mean like this?

- Go help the others. I'll handle this one.
- -Okay.
- -What are you, their mascot?
- More like their ringer.
- Ugh.
- Hey, gross, all right?
- The hell?

Luther: I've just never had my ass handed to me like that before. It's like
[holds hand up]
Luther: ... here you go; it's your ass.

- Ugh.
- Are they all perverts?

- Delores?
[whispers] Delores?

Stan: So…
- Do you got any food?
- Grace.
- Have you seen a briefcase?
Marcus: What are you doing?
- Worshiping.

- -You said no mushrooms.
- -[mocking] I speak English!
- So does my son.
- We speak American, asshole.
- You are an American asshole.
[store owner] Let go of me! Let go!
- Get outta my store! Get out of here!

- It's more of an existential problem, really, Ben.
- Awesome. Well, here's your next problem.
- You know, even though you're a total asshat now…
- …it's nice to see you again, really.
- Who's your daddy? I'm your daddy!
- Who's… your… daddy?

- And the best part of it is, she's gonna look after us, no questions asked.
- Never ever. Right?
- Come on.
- -I may have questions.
- -[Luther] Yeah, me too.
- This place is weird.

- What if Diego's right and the Sparrows attack?
- We fought the entire Commission.
- I mean, we can handle, what?
- Seven jerks in uniforms?
- They just caught us off guard.
- Yeah.

- -[Allison grunts]
- -♪ No more heroes any more ♪
- By the way,
- I heard a rumor you can't move.
- -Hit me.
- -What?
- -Come on. Hit me in the face.
- -Okay.
- Hit me!

- -[Luther] Condom? Put the knife away!
- -[Klaus] Can't exchange those for cash.
- Why do I have a hairnet?
Luther: Oh.
[sighs] All right.
- Ooh.
- What does this get us?

- -Seriously?
- -[Allison] Move, move, move, move!
- The briefcase!
- -What?
- -No time!
- -[Luther] I hate that he can do that!
- -[Allison] Go! Shut it!
Luther: Quick! Get in!
- Oh shit.

- -[grunts]
- -♪ In a nutshell, I suppose ♪
[woman in crowd] Love you, Marcus!
- -♪ Maybe all of the time ♪
- -[raven cawing]
- -♪ And now the cocaine scene ♪
- -[caws]

- I don't wanna fight you!
- Aww! Did you wanna be best friends?
- You know, for a blind person, you're not bad.
- Who says I'm blind, asshole?

[Umbrellas] Shit.
- Ben.
- Is that really you?
- And who are the weirdos on the balcony?
Reginald: They are the Sparrows.
- My children.

- -What? Since when?
- -Fine. Italian?
- -Absolutely not.
- -I could do Italian.
- -[Marcus] We done here?
- -[Luther groans] Nope.
[chuckles] I don't run from a fight.
- -Yeah, that's the wrong answer, dude.
- -Let him finish him off.
- Then let's end this.