The Best House M.D., Season 8, Episode 9 Quotes

Dr. Robert Chase: People who are sick are not the only ones who need to be taken care of

Dr. Gregory House: With great power comes great micromanaging.

- And the nurses love you.
- You don't think I knew house was gonna tell you to ignore me and not do the ultrasound?
- This is an ultrasound machine.
- Which you're gonna use to do an ultrasound-guided biopsy.
- You've probably got a kit stashed here...

- Okay, he comes, he thinks he's waiting for practice.
- He'd want to get out of the wind, but somewhere he could see the kids arrive.
- There.
- Over here!

- If you want my money, I'll need to see a five year plan.
- Am I boring you?
- No, I just, those flowers are from last week.
- They should be dead by now.
- Excuse me?
- Sorry, I have to go.

Dr. Jessica Adams: Sex releases oxytocin. It's the neuromechanical basis for bonding.
Dr. Gregory House: And that's why men always marry their right hands.
Dr. Jessica Adams: It's different for girls.
Dr. Chi Park: No, it's not. I've tapped over thirty guys and never want to see most of them again.
[House looks up from microscope, and Adams looks at Park]
Dr. Chi Park: I live next door to a Jewish frat.

- Better to have shtupped andlost than never to have shtupped at all.
- We can't smoke in here.
- We also can't summon people into the clinic based on a lie motivated by a petty bet, and yet it happens.
- It's an imperfect world.

- There she is.
- Here I am.
- Your eye. What happened?
- It's nothing I can't handle.

Dr. James Wilson: Two people are happy and your natural impulse is to destroy it.
Dr. Gregory House: How do you know she's happy? She tell you?
Dr. James Wilson: No. Chirping birds flew out of her butt carrying a banner.

- Well?
- Disgustingly satisfying.
- He said it was okay.
- Is one of you Dr. House?
- You've seen Spartacus, right?
- I got an order here to deactivate and remove his ankle monitor.

- It's where we had our first date.
- Do you have a cleaning lady who might bring her own supplies?
- What's he saying?
- If it's not relevant to the case, I don't care, and neither should you.
- Please.
- This might be the last time I ever know what he's thinking.

- I know.
- I thought of you on mom's birthday.
- Is everything okay?
- Yeah, yeah. Fine. I just...
- Wanted to see how you were.
- I'm fine.

Dr. Jessica Adams: Thirty?
Dr. Chi Park: [shrugs] Everybody lies.
Dr. Jessica Adams: Higher or lower?

- He just opened his eyes a little while ago.
- His heartbeat's doing well and his body temperature stabilized.

- Don't worry. He's actually perfect for the drug trial.
- Oh. [Sighs] [Chuckles]
- Thank god.
- We can start as soon as next week.
- Andres! Oh, my god!
- Andres?

- How do you know she's happy? Did she tell you?
- No, chirping birds flew out of her butt carrying a banner.
- All right, I admit that my natural impulse is to doubt people's claims to happiness, but yours is to be a sucker for them.
- You tell me which one's worse.

- is if it works, then you think you can control me.
- If it fails, then you will actually have proven that you can control me.
- It's pretty genius.
- These are your training wheels.
- If you think you're up to this job, it's time to lose them.

- Second half of my plan might need work.
- V-fib. Two rounds at 360 without establishing a rhythm.
- Wait! Dr. Foreman!
- Clear.
- He's back.

Dr. Gregory House: Lots of people don't have sex. The only people who don't want sex are either sick, dead or lying.

- Be careful.
- Once we establish rhythm, any accidental movement could crash him back into v-fib.
- Clear.

- So do I wish mom had used a gun instead of a bottle?
- Yes.
- I didn't know.
- That's why I told you.
- Ventricular fibrillation.
- Give him 300 milligrams amiodarone.

- Isn't that the point of having a spare?
- I denied his request.
- After I'd already approved it, which you knew because
- I sent you a memo.
- Dr. Adams, taped under your chair is an index card.
- Would you read it, please?

- "There she is." "There she is."
- He's still in there.
- What did he say?
- He asked who you were.
- Don't get your hopes up.
- Have your boyfriend get me those samples.

- 'Cause no matter how much you wanted to believe in this chaste romance, you didn't buy it either.
- Where's that petition house's po sent over about him getting his ankle monitor off?
- On your desk.

- I don't know.
- He trained for a marathon once.
- Soccer practice.
- We took a cooking class.
- The soccer trophy you were telling me about, it's gone.
- Where was practice?
- It was close to here, on chesterfield.

- realizes he's got a sore throat...
- You can stop me whenever you like.
- Have chase start him on steroids.
- I already did.
- Then why are you telling me?
- Because I wanted you to hear it from me.