The Best Rick and Morty, Season 1, Episode 7 Quotes

Jerry: I'm intervening.
Beth: Intervening in puberty? You'll turn him into Ralph Fiennes in Red Dragon!

- J” runnin' wild, runnin' hot, burnin' inside j” j” with the youth in the blood and the age and the heat and the fire in your pants, open wide j” j” you're gonna run from the damn cold, but you can't run from your youth j”

Morty: I'd rather breathe poison than live another day with you!
[He can breathe fine]
Morty: My life has been a lie! God is dead! The government is lame! Thanksgiving is about killing Indians! Jesus' birthday wasn't on Christmas, they moved the date, it was a pagan holiday!

Summer: Grandpa Rick, where are we going?
Rick: Well obviously Summer it appears the lower tier of this society is being manipulated through sex and advanced technology by a hidden ruling class. Sound familiar?
Summer: Ticketmaster.
Rick: Oh, there we go Summer.

Ma: Marc? Jacobs? These are names of the penis.

Jerry: And it was born on America soil which entities it to...
Beth: [Interrupting] Jerry majoring in Civics was your mistake, don't punish us for it.

Rick: I'm trying to repair the portal gun with sex doll parts and I have to do it one-handed!

Rick: Great, now I have to take over a whole planet because of your stupid boobs!

Rick: Still think it's a good idea to go through holes without a wiener?

Beth: [Morty Junior's book is called "My Terrible Father"] It's a thankless task, Morty. You did the best you could.
Morty: ...I hope he's eating enough.

- You know, like, what if you passed away or died or something?
- I wouldn't even have anything to remember all the cool stuff we did, you know?
- Okay. 60 [burps] for the resonator, and my grandson wants the sex robot.

- Wubba-iubba-dub-dubs!
- This [burps] this world [burps]
- Still got a...
- It's still got a chance!
- Yeah! Ha ha!
- See you -see you guys next week!
- See everybody next week.

Rick: Great, now I have to take over a whole planet because of your stupid boobs.

Rick: Where's the sex robot, Morty?
Morty: [points to a floating metal sphere] That IS Gwendolyn! I, I mean, the robot! She started beeping, transformed, and tried to fly away!
Rick: Strange, that's usually the man's job. You know what I'm talking about, Morty? Wubba-lubba-dub-dub! Morty! That's my catchphrase, remember? Remember, remember how I, how I cemented that catchphrase?