The Best The Office, Season 6, Episode 5 Quotes

Michael: Hey. Hi. Do you - would you have a snack in your purse? You're a mom. I just figured you might have...
Helene: Oh, yeah -
[hands Michael a snack]
Michael: Oh! Eww... apricot. Do you have any of the Very Berry or Ocean Splash or...
Helene: No.
Michael: Oh... okay. Were you saving it?
Helene: Oh, no, no, no. That's okay. I was just - I've had a very rough weekend.
Michael: I'm sorry.
[puts food in his mouth]
Michael: Ugh. Apricot. Made of real apes.

Michael: I know they wanted cash, but I give them cash every week. How much cash does a person need? I have taken it upon myself to do something a little more special. I have painted a portrait of the two of them from memory. And I have another one of them in the nude. But that one is for me.

Kevin: What an awesome party! The best wedding I've ever been to. I got six numbers. One more would have been a complete telephone number.

Jim: I bought those tickets the day I saw that YouTube video. I knew we needed a back-up plan. The boat was actually Plan C, the church was Plan B, and Plan A was marrying her a long, long time ago. Pretty much the day I met her.

Oscar: [Looking at Kevin fidgeting] What are you doing?
Kevin: I'm trying to decide if I have time to pee.
Oscar: How long does it take you to pee?
Kevin: The peeing is fast, Oscar. It's getting my tie back on.