The Best The Sopranos, Season 4, Episode 4 Quotes

Johnny: I want you to sanction a hit on Ralph Cifaretto.
Carmine: What, are you fucking kidding me?
Johnny: He violated my wife's honor.
Carmine: Ralph slept with Ginny?
Johnny: He insulted her. He made a very insensitive joke about her body to some friends of ours.
Carmine: What did he say?
Johnny: [indignant] I have to repeat it? My word's not good enough?
Carmine: Not if you want him clipped over it.

- Dad, it's uncle sil!
- I gotta get that.
- Say hello to Janelle.
- I'll walk you out, bri.
- Hang it up, a.J.!
- Hey.
- What happened?

Johnny: Yeah?
Ralph: John, it's me
Johnny: And?
Ralph: And I'm calling to tell you how appalled I am. I just got back. I talked to Tony. I love Ginny, I would never say anything like that
Johnny: That's not what I heard
Ralph: From who John?
Johnny: I don't betray confidences, you denying you said it?
Ralph: Fuck yes, I'm denying I said it
Johnny: I don't believe you
Ralph: Just tell me who said this. I'll put a bullet in their fuckin eye
Johnny: You're a real weasel you know that?
Ralph: John please, look, last year when Tony and I had our "thing", that misunderstanding, you were "the voice of reason". You were the one that told me to apologize
Johnny: So, you're apologizing?
Ralph: If that's what it takes
Johnny: Why would you apologize? I thought you didn't say it?
Ralph: I didn't say it
Johnny: [Before hanging up] you know something Ralph? Not only are you a thief, you're a lying fuckin prick. I should've let Tony chop your head off a year ago

Junior: [During a sit down meeting over the speakerphone] Ralph insulted John's wife?
Johnny: That's correct
Junior: What did he do exactly?
Johnny: He made a very hurtful remark that's not worth repeating
Silvio: Let's point out too it's only been "alleged" on what he said
Johnny: He "allegedly" said what he said to a group of people: "friends of ours"
Junior: If you weren't there how do you know it's true?
Johnny: I'm not at liberty to say
Tony: With all due respect but this is bullshit somebody in my family is talking out of school and you don't have the liberty to who? I should be making the beef here
Junior: My nephew's right
Johnny: I want to average her honor, this is my right to do
Tony: Alright fine you bring in here who ever told you, if he collaborates with what you're saying I'll give you ralph on a platter
Johnny: Is nothing scared? What happened to this thing? If this was years ago would I even have to ask? We bend more rules than the Catholic Church
Tony: Let's just say for the of argument ralph said what he said is clipping him going to un-ring that bell?
Carmine: Nobody's getting clipped
Johnny: I want satisfaction
Silvio: Will you accept an apology?
Johnny: That ship that has sailed
Carmine: Your being unreasonable John
Johnny: Ralph's the only one who can handle the Esplanade? Put the other guy in
Carmine: There's millions of dollars are at stake
Johnny: Again with the money?
Carmine: Yeah, again with the money, it's settled name a price or the fuck over it
[John leaves]

- What's your fucking problem?
- Oh, I love the pine flooring.
- I know, it's so rustic.

Junior: A mole on her ass? What's the joke? I still don't get it
Tony: It's not a joke per se, it's... you had to be there
Junior: A real lack of standards your generation. In my day John would be right, a man would never be expected to stand for a remark like that
Tony: The fucked up thing is I don't even like Ralph, if he was drowning I'd throw him a cinder block, but not protect one of my own captains? Besides its too late now anyway, Carmine gave me the nod
Junior: [While watching Who Wants to Be a Millionaire] On Johnny? That was a slippery fuck huh? Him and those big fish lips of his? Look at this: The fifth question and the poor prick used all of his life lines
Tony: John goes, Carmine's going to put himself in a position of maximum deniability
Junior: So, you make it easy for everybody, take it out of the neighborhood
Tony: Like an accident?
Junior: [Listing the causes that can kill John] accident, stick up, he can choke on a chicken wing. The important thing: Johnny disappears
Tony: Johnny out, Carmine's going to put his son in there, fuckin brain-less the second, who knows? Maybe there's an upside of Johnny going. He goes to Boston a lot to visit his father. It could happen up there
Junior: You want my advice? You'll call Lou DiMaggio, the Atwell Avenue Boys.
Tony: What? Those sick old fucks in Rhode Island?
Junior: They may be old my little nephew but those dogs can still hunt
Tony: My old man used to talk about them, something to do with drugs
Junior: Heroin back in the fifties it was raining cash with that shit. DiMaggio and his crew never saw a dime. A guy they worked for Lenny Caputo, he didn't believe in it. For fifteen years everyone and their mother was getting rich dealing H. Everyone except these guys. Their eking a living doing hits, running swag, anyway low and behold, one day Lenny get pinched for heroin trafficking. Turns out, the cock sucker was making a fortune working with the mulligan and not only that his been selling out his own guys to the Feds so he can keep his ass out on the street. DiMaggio and another guy on his crew did eight years on a murder rap
Tony: So much for loyalty huh?
Junior: You go to Rhode Island whatever you do, don't mention drugs: coke, heroin not even Tylenol
Tony: So, what happened to this Lenny prick?
Junior: [Smiles] Lou 'DiMaggio, his real name's Galina. They started calling him Lou 'DiMaggio, after the cops found Lenny and his wife's with their heads bashed in by a baseball bat. Anyway that was Lou when he still had his health

- It's me!
- Hello?
- Why is the door unlocked?
- Gin?

- What?
- John, what's wrong?
- I can't listen to this bullshit.
- I'm trying to explain.
- Fuck you!
- John, please...
- Don't fucking "John" me!
- Hey, hey, we're trying to settle this.
- It's not about that.
- I'm sorry, carmine. I can't be in the same room with this man.

- I just got it back from the martinizing.
- They do a nice job over there.
- Say hi to dad for me. I put Allegra's graduation picture in a frame for him.
- Good.
- Love you.
- I love you too.
- Careful driving.

- Gin?
- Jesus, you scared the shit out of me!
- What are you doing?
- I thought you left.
- I forgot the sweater.
- What are you doing on the floor?
- I was getting the laundry together.

Tony: Twenty years I've been friends with John. Now he's gotta go.
Christopher: All over a stupid joke.
Ralph: [to Silvo, Christopher and Tony] I was fuckin' around for chrissakes! You never made a joke about Ginny Sack?
Tony: Of course not.
Silvio: No, never.
Christopher: Not like that.
Ralph: Yeah, well fuck him and his highfalutin bullshit. Who does he think he is, Sir Walter Raleigh?
Tony: That's enough of you and your stupid fucking remarks! Go back to Miami and play volleyball, or whatever the fuck it is you do down there, while we clean up your fucking mess! Maybe, even keep your ass alive.

Carmine: [on the phone] I took John to dinner last night. Ralph's got a big problem, kid.
Tony: I thought you squashed it.
Carmine: I did. Problem is, I don't know if John's hearing me.
Tony: So, what are you gonna do about it?
Carmine: Me? Nothing.
Tony: What does that mean?
Carmine: I didn't say nothing. We share the Esplanade, Tony. I don't want that apple cart upset.
Tony: Yeah, then somebody should do something about it.
Carmine: I appreciate your thoughts.
Tony: [after a long pause] You saying what I think you're saying?
Carmine: I didn't say nothing.
[pause]
Carmine: All right then, I'll talk to you.

Dr. Elliot Kupferberg: [during her therapy session, referring to her son] Jason's always been a well-adjusted young man
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: So, why now? Three years at Bard and suddenly, now as a senior, this epic drift, no focus, no drive, his actually talked about dropping out and joining the Forestry Service
Dr. Elliot Kupferberg: Well, some people thrive on solitude
Dr. Elliot Kupferberg: [when she doesn't respond] Senior year, there's something about the light at the end of the tunnel can be very frightening
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: [referring to his daughter] Saskia's a senior, is she going through any of this?
Dr. Elliot Kupferberg: Saskia has always been highly motivated. Where's Richard in all of this anyway?
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Jason barely speaks to him anymore
Dr. Elliot Kupferberg: Since when?
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: [referring to her own experience] Right after the rape
Dr. Elliot Kupferberg: Jason may be feeling guilty himself: his powerless to avenge you and resents his father for the same shortcomings

- Funny, huh?
- Funny? Funny?
- Whoa, whoa, John! What the fuck?
- What'd he do?
- He's a cunt! A sorry sack of shit!
- Come on, let me get you out of here.
- No, no. Please.
- Scumbag, let me buy you a drink.
- What the fuck?

- Tony.
- Tony!
- I'm sorry, Tony.
- What's the matter?
- I can't. The music.
- Meadow, turn it off!
- What?

- I want satisfaction.
- Will you accept an apology?
- That ship has sailed.
- You're being unreasonable, John.
- Ralph's the only one who can handle the esplanade?
- Put pontecorvo in there.
- There are millions at stake.
- Again with the money?
- Yeah, again with the money.
- It's settled, John. So either name a price or get the fuck over it.

Tony: [after entering his office] "Hey", yourself, what the fuck John?
Johnny: I got nothing to say
Tony: You got nothing to say?
Tony: [Referring to Donny K. after John assaulted him] the fuckin kid is in intensive care
Johnny: I thought he worked for Ralph?
Tony: And Ralph works for me, so I ask you again, what the fuck?
Johnny: Let's suffice that I know and Carmine knows that "boppy" cocksucker is holding out on us: Fernandez Paving, Ralph's contracting company. My guy went over the receipts for the water proofing at the Esplanade, this fuckin Ralph is more creative than Spielberg. His off almost four grand, third time in a row now. We agreed no looting the job site
Tony: First of all, that hasn't been established, second of all, this is how you handle it?
Johnny: Consider it a "message."
Tony: His in Miami, they got phones down there the last time I checked
Johnny: His got a bad history Tony, cute cocksucker could wind up dead
Tony: What're you saying here?
Johnny: His a two-faced fuckin prick
Tony: I thought Ralph was your friend?
Johnny: Right, that's rich, did you hear what my "friend" said about my wife? Made a crack about Ginny's weight, something about her having a ninety pound mole on her ass?
Tony: Well, that's deplorable. Who told you this?
Johnny: What's important is that it was said
Tony: If he did say it, I didn't hear it because he knows better to make a remark like that when I'm around
Johnny: She's fighting a weight problem since the kids were born: Weight Watchers, Richard Simmons, fasting, she works very fuckin hard
Tony: You telling me how hard it is?
Johnny: It's different for women, body image, and self-esteem. I'll you though, I never had a problem with Ginny's weight: to me she's beautiful. "Rubenesque." That woman is my life. To think she's being mocked
Tony: Alright John I'm not going to sit here and deny that Ralph could be a fuckin asshole and that was a horrible thing to say. Well even if it was said, you can't be serious about him winding up you know...
Johnny: She's the mother of my children
Tony: I know she is John. I know she is. At least hear Ralph out? How long we go back? All of us?
Johnny: The kid last night: he was laughing
Tony: About this?
Johnny: I don't know

- They got plenty of money to smoke crack and gamble and all that shit.
- You ought to know.
- Oh, I see. That's what this is, huh?
- You're working with minorities now to get back at me for being mean to Noel.
- God, listen to you.
- Believe it or not, the world doesn't revolve around you.

- John?
- What would you say to a piece of Ralph's company?
- John? Just think about it at least.

- What the hell is wrong with you?
- When you ignore me, Tony...
- When you trivialize things important to me, like our financial security...
- It makes me feel unloved.
- That's your problem there, because you equate love with money!
- No, you equate love with money!

- We could do this ourselves, ninja style.
- Father?
- We're here to see Lou DiMaggio.
- Oh, come in.

- He...
- He'll be coming up through here next few days.
- He stays at the Boston harbor hotel.
- The guy on the left.
- It's my birthday too.
- We're having cake later.
- Carvel.

- Come on, let's...
- Let's go to the bookstore.
- You probably need a sweatshirt or something.
- Oh.
- Hey, take it easy!

- Okay. You watch me, you do the same.
- Everybody, come on.
- Everybody, come on.
- That's it.
- God, I'm such a spaz.
- No, no, you're good. Come.
- Meadow.
- Come on.

- I wanted you to be proud of me.
- I am proud of you.
- I love you.
- Welcome to the del Rey hotel, ma'am.
- Can I get your bags?
- Oh, thanks.
- Okay, go on into the lobby,
- I'll meet you inside.

- Coke, heroin, not even Tylenol.
- So, what happened to this Lenny prick?
- Lou DiMaggio, his real name's galina.
- They called him DiMaggio after the cops found Lenny and his wife...
- With their heads bashed in by a baseball bat.
- Anyway, that was Lou while he still had his health.

- Just me, I work there alone, growing olives.
- My hands in the dirt, the hot sun.
- I was never so happy in my life as when I work at that place.
- Sometimes I get the smell of olives...
- In a restaurant, in the store maybe.
- It makes me very sad.

- We can't afford it, John.
- A roomful of guys making fun of my wife...
- And you're not gonna let me deal with this?
- Not that way.
- My answer's gotta be no.
- I wanna sit down, then, with Ralph, the fucking thief.
- Get this Fernandez paving bullshit dealt with.

- It's just been sticking in my craw.
- So this kid gonna be okay?
- I don't know. He's still unconscious.
- My fucking temper.
- Is he married, children, anything?
- Lives with his mother.
- I'll send her something nice.

- I talked to my guy, we're calling it off.
- I'm already out here though.
- Like, right there.
- We'll work something out, then.
- Don't worry about it.
- I want half.
- All right, whatever.
- Getting out?
- No.

- Ralph cifaretto's crew.
- Anyway, I go over to her house one night...
- She's dressed like a fucking cat, like from that show.
- Eye makeup, claws, the whole bit.
- You okay?
- Pardon me a minute, huh?

- Still awake?
- I'm just reading.
- Bought you something.
- What's this for?
- No reason.
- I don't know if I believe that.

Christopher: Wait a minute. What's if Vesuvio's bugged, and the fuckin' Feds told Johnny?
Silvio: Conspiracy theories now?
Christopher: Why not? Create a little dysentery among the ranks.
Tony: First of all, the place is swept once a week. Second of all, what the Feds want is a lot more interesting shit that's being talked about in there besides Ginny Sack's fat ass.

Tony: You wanted to see me?
Johnny: You can tell Ralph I've decided to accept his apology
Tony: That kid you pissed on, Donnie K: his got fuckin nerve damage on his left side
Johnny: I'm sorry Tony
Tony: I bet you are
Johnny: I'll expect to hear from Ralph
Tony: Why the big reversal all of a sudden?
Johnny: No more weight remarks Tony. Their hurtful and their destructive
Tony: Oh I agree

- Conspiracy theories now?
- Why not?
- Create a little dysentery among the ranks?
- First of all, the place is swept once a week.
- Second of all, there's a lot more interesting shit...
- Being talked about in there besides Ginny sack's fat ass.
- Sil, the liquor inspector's here.

- Just do as you're told.
- I'll deal with the fallout.
- Who was that, hon?
- Nobody. A plumber for the store.
- What's that you're making?
- Fruit salad. You want some?
- Low-fat whipped cream.
- No. You enjoy it, sweetie.

- Half up front.
- So...
- We'll call you then?
- Pop, father's here.
- Would you like some cake?
- Actually, we got a long ride back.

- I appreciate your thoughts.
- You saying what I think you're saying?
- I didn't say nothing.
- All right, then. I'll talk to you.
- Twenty years I been friends with John.
- Now he's gotta go.
- All over a stupid joke.

- Jen, you cannot blame yourself for what happened to you.
- Turns out this guy was probably another parent or, more likely, a repairman.
- But if he had dragged me out of my car and beaten me up...
- Would I be saying, "gee, I shouldn't have tried to park my car?"
- Anyway, enough about him.
- Let's get back to you.

- I bet you are.
- I'll expect to hear from Ralph, then.
- Why the big reversal all of a sudden?
- No more weight remarks, Tony.
- They're hurtful, and they're destructive.
- Oh, I agree.

- See? I knew you could pull it off.
- You look like a model.
- Listen to him now.

- Yeah, well, fuck him and his highfalutin bullshit.
- Who does he think he is, sir Walter Raleigh?
- That's enough of you and your stupid fucking remarks!
- Go back to Miami and play volleyball, whatever the fuck you do down there...
- While we clean up your fucking mess!
- Maybe even keep your ass alive.

- But clip him?
- Is it all just about money?
- I'll crack him good.
- I'll ask for 200 grand.
- Two hundred grand for insulting my wife. What's next?
- He gets to fuck her for a million?
- He wants to fuck her?
- I'm making a point! I'm talking about my wife's honor here. My honor!

- He's back from California.
- Tony, this is beautiful.
- What size is this?
- I don't know, small.
- I don't know if this'll fit.
- Try it on.

Brian: the tax purposes the annuity is fine but if I'm hearing you right, liquidity is the real concern?
Carmela: [after looking at Tony and he nods] "occasionally" we need "ready access" to our money
Brian: honestly guys, I'd recommend a life insurance trust that coupled with the growth-oriented allocation of your assets... including an assortment of other investment "vehicles"
Tony: [jokingly] like what? Classic cars?
Brian: no, like stocks, bonds
Carmela: I think his "pulling your leg"
Brian: [amused] I gotta remember that one. So, great, we'll open an account, get the paperwork started and...
Tony: [interrupts him] look, no offense, I know we're family, let me think about it: run it by my accountant
Carmela: Ginsberg? He's a CPA, not an investment advisor
Tony: well, whatever, he knows about this stuff
Brian: you know what Carm? Talk to your accountant, two heads huh?

- And I thought maybe you could help me out.
- Got a meeting in the city later.
- Rahimah, this is my dad.
- How you doing?
- Hello.
- Want a doughnut?
- No, thanks.
- Well, I'll see you later, Meadow?
- Okay, rahimah.