30 Best Zoolander 2 Quotes

Hasidic: Hansel, meaningless sex always makes me feel better about myself.

Valentina: [from trailer] Someone's trying to kill the world's most beautiful people.
Justin: [getting hunted by snipers] Oh, fudge!

Wise: [to Latex BDSM] Hey... you are a basic bitch.

[from trailer]
Mugatu: TODD! Where's my goddamn latté?
[he gets a cup, then pours it over him]

Mugatu: Prison changed me. I'm a psycho!

Hansel: WHO AM I!

All: All is All.

Kiefer: [to Hansel] I lost my baby.

Katy: Who-oo-oo-ooohh am-mm-mm-mm I-ah-ah-aye?
Hansel: That was beautiful...

Hansel: Is it true you have sex for ten hours?
Sting: No comment.
[silently]
Sting: Fifteen...

Justin: You can't kill us all, we will protect the Chosen One!

Hansel: Neil Degrasse Tyson? You don't know who you are, either?

Don: [to Mugatu] You and SpongeBob were my biggest influence ever!

Derek: I've missed not knowing things with you.

Derek: I'm sorry, I can't understand a word that you're saying.

Billy: Think about it, man. This could be a sign!
Derek: What if it's a stop sign, Billy?

Mugatu: You really are amazingly stupid, aren't you?

Mugatu: Shut up, Valentino! Just shut up! Everyone shut up! There is no Fountain of Youth!
Tommy: What?
Mugatu: I mean, Adam and Eve and Steve? Are you serious? You actually believed that crap?
Alexander: What?
Mugatu: It's literally... it's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! I get it if Alexander Wang believes it, but the rest of you, come on!
Anna: Oh, please. Without me, you'd still be cutting patterns at Men's Wearhouse.
Mugatu: Oh, look, it's the White Witch from Narnia! Oh, no, I'm sorry, it's just Anna Wintour! I'll knock your teeth out.
Anna: I'll rip your goddamn tongue out.
Mugatu: Check out the new spring collection from Hilfiger, brought to you by white privilege.
Tommy: You couldn't make a down jacket to save your life!
Mugatu: Asshole.

Hansel: [from trailer] OLD?
Derek: [pronouncing the sign incorrectly] LAMÉ?

Valentina: Please accept my apologies.
Derek: None taken.

Hansel: My mom told me my dad was a beat cop.

Chazz: Members only. Members only. Epaulets are not a crime. Smart casual. Smart casual. Smart casual. Mr. Hammer is wrong!

Billy: Got your Netflix!
Derek: [Opening envelopes] Jack Ryan! and Jack Reacher! Tonight's going to be a total jack off!

Derek: We're back!

Mugatu: He's still so hot right now!

Sting: If you want to find the spirits in the material world you need to talk to the ghost in the machine.
Hansel: What? Who is this?
Sting: I have a message in a bottle for you, so don't go to the police.

Mugatu: Prison changed me! I'm bad to the core now!

Derek: I hope you're not apopleptic because they're going to take a lot of pictures.

Derek: Does being fat mean you're a terrible person? I'm really asking you, Hansel.

Alexanya: Do you ever have feeling, where you see young teenage girl with perfect skin, and you want to kill her? And take her skin, and put it on your skin? We've bottled that feeling.