Top 30 Quotes From Georgia Engel

Mary: Georgette, I'll find you something to wear.
Georgette: Does it have to be white?
Sue: Let's see... Married in white, sailors' delight... no, that isn't it.

Georgette: And another thing, Ted: I don't want you to call me Baby anymore; I'm not a baby, I'm an adult!
Ted: OK, what do want me to call you? Let's see... there's cookie, lambkins, angel puss - if you don't like any of those, I'll have Murray come up with something else.

[first lines]
Joy: Say 'Nana'. Say 'Nana', Wilbur, 'Nana'.
Elka: It's official. Men of *all* ages ignore you.
Joy: Look, some of the other babies in Wilbur's play group have already started talking. Actually, I was getting a little embarrassed so I knocked a few months off his age.
Mamie: You lied about a baby's age?
Victoria: Ah, I wish my mother had done that for me. But, no... I'm a self-made thirty-something.

[last lines]
Joy: The police will be here soon.
Elka: We'll be home in time to watch 'Family Feud'.
Mamie: Steve Harvey is the best game show host!
Elka: The best.
Narrator: Really? Isn't that a little bit like saying Cloris Leachman was the best actress on 'The Mary Tyler Moore Show'?
Elka: We never saw that show.
Narrator: Well, America won't get a chance to see the Soul Man if we don't wrap things up here, so why don't we all just take a bow right now?

Elka: I'm sorry I said all those awful things about you.
Mamie: But you didn't.
Elka: Check your Facebook page.

Elka: [about Joy] Just copy everything she does.
Mamie: I don't think I could pull off that skirt.
Elka: Many have.

Mary: Do you have any preference about what you want to wear, Georgette?
Georgette: Well, I always dreamed of being married in something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. But what the hell, we're in a hurry

[first lines]
Victoria: [looking at a shirtless Sean holding a baby] Aaaaaaawww.
Joy: See, just like the calendar. Okay, Sean, put your shirt back on.
Victoria: Aaww.
Joy: Thanks for being such a good sport.
Victoria: Yeah, and for teaching us that other thing.
Sean: Baby CPR.
Victoria: Yes, that. Now if any baby faints when they hear that I'm dating Sir Emmet Lawson, I'll know how to revive them.
Sean: You're dating Emmet Lawson the movie star?
Victoria: How did you drag that out of me?

Andy: Uh, I am here to take you back to Scranton. Because I love you, and I want to be with you.
Irene: Where's the ring?
Andy: Hm?
Irene: Where's the ring, Lancelot?
Erin: Uh, would you guys mind if we talked privately for a second? Sorry, Glenn.
[Irene and Glenn leave]
Erin: Um, Andy... I am so happy to see you. But I'm not coming back with you.
Glenn: [whispering off screen] Why won't she go with him?
Irene: [whispering] I don't know. Maybe it's 'cause he's not that handsome.
Erin: Hey, don't listen.

Bob: There's a real lump in my throat.
Georgette: That's probably the cheese puffs.

Mamie: It's three o'clock; Steve Harvey's on.
Elka: Oh, nobody's funnier than Steve Harvey.
Boyce: Really? No-one?
Mamie: He's like the Original King of Comedy.
Boyce: Yeah. Yet, you know, there were other Kings of Comedy, y'know.
Elka: But he was the funny one.
Boyce: Oh, oh, the way Rue McClanahan was the funny one on 'The Golden Girls'.
Elka: I never saw that show.

[last lines]
Doctor: Oh, Mamie, you're always such a shameless flirt. May I be forward with you?
Mamie: Please.
Doctor: What are you doing Saturday night?
Mamie: I'm having dinner with a tall, handsome doctor.
Doctor: [disappointed] Oh.
Mamie: It's you!
Doctor: It's me?
Mamie: It's you.
[to the others over his shoulder as they hug]
Mamie: See, that's how it's done.

[first lines]
Joy: Hey, everybody. Our group birthday is coming up, and I know *exactly* who I want to be fixed up with. I met a man this year who touched me deeply.
Elka: That could be half of Cleveland.
Joy: It's our poetry professor, Robin York. He's so spiritual and sensitive.
Melanie: Well, I want that guy that we met at the PetSmart Charities adoption thing; his name is Rex. Or maybe his dog's name is Rex.
Victoria: Well, now that I'm engaged, of course I don't need an actual date, which is a good thing, considering the freaks you guys have set me up with. Manboobs, conjoined twins, human tail!
Joy: Oh, come on, that last guy was perfect except for the tail.
Victoria: Did you hear what you just said? No no, this time I just want a business date; I really want a part in the next Wes O'Rourke movie.
Joy: The indie film director? He went to school with my film professor; I can make that happen.
Victoria: Excellent.
Mamie: [knocks and enters] Knock, knock. Look what I brought.
Joy: Oooh, breakfast wine.
Mamie: It's GLOB wine, which stands for Gorgeous Ladies of Bowling... wine.
Melanie: Gorgeous Ladies of Bowling?
Mamie: That was our team. Nineteen sixty-two and sixty-three city champions.
Elka: We bought this wine and said we'd drink it together in fifty years.
Mamie: Only we lost track of the others.
Elka: That's what I want for my birthday: reunite the old gang.
Melanie: Well, I can do that. Who are they?
Mamie: [showing a GLOB poster] There's Elka and me. All we need to find is Diane, Angie and Peg.

[Ted and Georgette have just been informed that David is a genius]
Ted: Say, let me ask you a theoretical question.
Doctor: Of course.
Ted: Let's assume that... someone... has a kid with an incredible IQ. And that... someone... wasn't great in the fifth grade. Do you think that would cause any problems between the two?
Doctor: No problems at all, Mr. Baxter. As long as the parent is a reasonably secure, mature, well-adjusted adult.
Georgette: Boy, are we in trouble.

Sue: [Commenting on Ted's and Georgette's matching tuxedos] Ted, you two look adorable!
Ted: You hear that, Georgette?
Georgette: I don't care what anybody says. I think we look like the top of a gay wedding cake.

Ted: Say, doc?
Dr. Carter: Yeah?
Ted: I didn't want to ask with everybody around. Something's been bothering me. It's kind of personal. How... how does it affect you if you have a heart attack about... you know... uh...
Dr. Carter: Sex?
[Chuckles]
Dr. Carter: Ted, you can have it as often as you did before your heart attack.
Georgette: I thought you said he was going to be better.

Georgette: But you two belong together. I won't say you're like peas in a pod, because I hate peas, Rhoda. And I won't say you're like sisters, because you're more than sisters. I'll just say Rhoda, I'll just say, that you, Rhoda and Mary, are a lot like Pittsburgh.

[Ted has gone out to the balcony to watch the moon]
Mary: Wow, he really has changed!
Georgette: I know! And, Mary, I've had it with him! I mean, I'm not ready for this. The Ted I married was loud, vain and egotistical; that I could handle. Then he has a little heart attack and turns into St. Francis of Assisi!

Georgette: Isn't it wonderful, Mary? Only in America could a man who never graduated from school own one!

Irene: My husband was my best friend. He passed away.
Erin: My best friend was my boss, Andy. We dated for a while, but since then, he rejected me, and we're not really friends.
Irene: Someone rejected you? With that body and those bazongas? Forget him.

Rhoda: Ok, Georgette, how are Mary and I a lot like Pittsburgh?
Georgette: Pittsburgh, Rhoda, is the place where the Allegheny river and the Monongahela river meet to form the mighty Ohio river. Now separately the Monongahela and the Allegheny river are two little skinny rivers. But when they meet in Pittsburgh, well... well, Rhoda, all I can say is, you two love each other, you need each other.

Elka: There's your professor, Joy.
Joy: So deep and sophisticated. It's like the Leonard Cohen song: he wants to touch my perfect body with his mind.
Mamie: I'd like to touch his perfect body with my hand.
[Elka stares at her]
Mamie: This may not be my first drink.

Rhoda: Ok, you be my best friend. Ok?
Georgette: Oh, I don't think so Rhoda. I don't think I could handle a big responsibility like that. First I'd have to start with someone easier and then after I got some experience then maybe I could be your best friend. But right now I think I'm a little green for you Rhoda.

[first lines]
Melanie: Morning, ladies. What's up?
Mamie: Elka's teaching me how to flirt. Right now we're in a happening night spot, and I'm dressed very provocatively.
Elka: Excuse me, is this seat taken?
Mamie: Have we started, or are you really asking?
Elka: You see what I'm up against?
Victoria: Good morning, ladies.
Melanie: Where's Oscar?
Victoria: Unpacking.
Mamie: Oscar? Who's he?
Victoria: She. My daughter. After I had Emmy and Tony, I was determined to have an Oscar no matter what.
Melanie: Oscar's been studying journalism in London for the last two years; now she works for NPR.
Victoria: And she's here to do a story on me.
Melanie: Actually, it's a story about *us*, moving from LA to Cleveland.
Victoria: It's about second acts in life, and how I moved here and reinvented myself.
Melanie: *We* reinvented ourselves!
Victoria: I hope that's not the selfish tone you're going to take in the interview.

Georgette: Goodbye Mary and don't worry about your plants. I'll come and water them and talk to them every day. But I won't tell them where you are. I'll make something up.

Georgette: If you really wanted to marry me, you wouldn't talk about it, you'd do it.
Ted: Oh, I'd do it right now if I could.
Georgette: We can, Ted. We've had the blood test. We have the license and it's still valid. We can call and get a minister over here. We can call our friends and tell them to come over here. What else do we need? So what do you say, buster, you still wanna get married?

Georgette: I really miss Phyllis. Of course, I never knew her very well. Maybe that helps.

Georgette: Why do people always send flowers when someone passes on?
Sue: What would you suggest, dear - fruit?

Mary: [eating dinner] This is delicious, Georgette. I love it.
Georgette: Thank you, Mary.
Ted: [stuffing his face] I love it, too, Georgette. And I love you. Will you marry me?
Mary: Ted, you just proposed through a mouthful of creamed onions!

Ted: [Ted's a mess, having het his father for the first time in 40 years, so he and Georgette go to Mary's] My own father, Mary. All he did was talk about his laundromat. Mary; Ted Baxter's father owns a laundromat.
Mary: Ted, there is nothing wrong with owning a laundromat.
Georgette: Of course not, and besides, nobody'll know, unless he calls it; 'Ted Baxter's Father's Laundromat'.