The Best Mike Barker Quotes

Hazmat: I got a tear in my suit! I've been exposed!
Principal: Don't touch me! No reason we both got to die!

Terry: I'm very particular about what I put in my body.
Greg: Yea, unless you're on a booze cruise in Mazatlan.

[last lines]
Stan: Coochie-coochie-boo!
[waits for response]
Stan: Did she smile when I said that?
Terry: No!
Stan: Will you ever remove the restraining order?
Terry: No!
Stan: She likes sugar in her coffee!

Guy: Hey J.C., we're out of sushi.
Jesus: Check again.
Guy: Thank you!

Terry: Oh Greg look, that's the public toilet where we fell in love.

Stan: [after Tank leaves Greg and Terry's house after he learns that Terry is gay] He's fine. He's probably just wondering how two guys can do it. He'll calm down when I explain it's like cramming together two puzzle pieces that don't quite fit.
Terry: Shut up, Stan! You've done enough.
[he and Greg walk away]
Stan: [to Francine] They're fine.
Francine: I can't believe you!
[walks away]
Stan: She's fine.

Terry: [yelling at Greg] Don't tell me you voted for He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!

Dr. Heisler: [pointing to x-ray] See? The second bullet passed through your neck and pushed the first bullet out. You should be completely ambulatory again.
Stanley: [distraught] What good is that to a man who has to spend the rest of his life in a chair?
[stabs Stan in the leg with a fork]
Stanley: Aaaaaah! Doc, your fork has magical powers!
Dr. Heisler: It's the bullet that saved you.
Stanley: This is great! We've gotta go back on tour and spread the word. Guns are good!
Hayley: What?
Stanley: Without guns I'd still be in a wheelchair. Guns heal the sick!

Peter: Terry, what is Greg's favorite appetizer?
Terry: Oh, that's easy. It's potato skins.
Greg: No. It's wasabi tuna in a raddicchio sauce.
Terry: Even I think that's gay.

Roger: [Throwing beads at Mardi Gras] Tremé! Etouffée! Beignet!
[Points to Greg and Terry]
Roger: You're gay!
Greg,199200: Hooray!