Top 30 Quotes From Mrs. Margaret Drysdale

Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: My name is Tinkerbell! I can fly!

Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: You can't intimidate me this time. I've got Claude.
Daisy: You just think you been clawed.
Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: I was referring to this courageous and noble canine.
Daisy: Is that what it is? Looks somethin' like a dog.

Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: I should have listened to Mother. She warned me against marrying a common bank president.

Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: Jed, I've been trying to tell you something in a subtle manner and I'm getting nowhere with it. Very well, I'll show you how I feel.
[Mrs. Drysdale sits on Jed's lap]
Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: Now do you know what I've been talking about.
Jed: I do for a fact. Your plumb shuttin' off the blood to my leg.

Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: What's the use of trying to talk to you people? You're illiterate cretins!
Daisy: Was that good or bad?
Jethro: Hard to tell. It could go either way.

Milburn: You will be driving a horse by the name of Lightning. It can go as fast as Miss Jane's convertible.
Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: You're joking.
Milburn: My word of honor. She was driving and that horse stayed right behind her.

Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: Milburn, those dreadful
Mrs. Margaret Drysdale,86173: Hillbillies are at it again.

Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: Look what this lye soap has done to my hands!
Daisy: Yeah. They is nice and pink and rosy, ain't they?
Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: Raw! Raw! Raw!
Daisy: I don't blame you for cheerin'.

Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: Oh, Miss Hathaway, I'll need you today.
Milburn: What for? A bridesmaid?
Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: Of course not, Milburn. I'll need her as an interpreter. You see, Mademoiselle Denise speaks almost no English.
Milburn: Very few poodles do.

Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: When I drove by just now, that Pearl woman screeched at me.
Milburn: She was probably yodeling.
Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: Well, it frightened me so, I almost wrecked the car.
Milburn: She was definitely yodeling.

Daisy: Granny says she knows why your wife was so anxious to get us out of town.
Elly: She does?
Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: It's because she don't want me runnin' agin her for Beverly Hills Possum Queen.

Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: You've always been a thorn in my side.
Daisy: I can change that to a fist in your mouth!

Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: I'd feel much better if you could put your arm around me.
Jed: Mrs. Drysdale, I could put my arm around you and have half of it left over. You've got to stop worryin' 'bout bein' fat.

Granny: We sure would be proud to have y'all come and take Thanksgiving vittles with us.
Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: Sonny and I wouldn't think...
Milburn: ...of passing up an invitation like that. We'll be there.

Daisy: See you in a couple a weeks.
Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: Stay as long as you like.

Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: A thing like this could put Beverly Hills on the map.
Daisy: Look what it done for Sibley.

Milburn: Margaret, I've asked you not to barge in here while I'm working.
Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: Oh pish tosh. What's more important than our darling getting married?
Milburn: Sonny's getting married?
Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: Oh no no no no, dear. Claude is getting married.
[Claude is her poodle]

Jed: Say, you're lookin' a mite green around the gills. Come inside and have a mess of Granny's jowls and sorghum. That'll put you to feelin' bushy tailed.
Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: Mr. Clampett, I'm expecting very important company. Priscilla Ralph Alden Smith-Standish.
Jed: Well bring 'em along. We got plenty for the whole bunch.
Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: Priscilla Rolfe Alden Smith-Standish is only one woman and probably the world's greatest authority on colonial history, early American genealogical origins, and 17th and 18th century artifacts. And she is the esteemed president of the F. F. T. of A.
Jed: Well we sure would be proud to meet her.
Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: I shall call upon every resource to avert such a social catastrophe!
Jed: Well thank you very kindly.

Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: [Mr. Drysdale tries to drag Mrs. Drysdale back to the car by her fox stole] Let go, you beast!
Jethro: [Jethro thinks a fox is attacking her and grabs a shotgun] Step aside lady, I'll shoot it.
[Mrs. Drysdale turns and sees Jethro, screams and throws her hand up. The fox stole flies up in the air and Jethro blasts it]

Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: I'm warning you, stay away from Lance Bradford. He's my brother's only son. My blood flows in his veins!
Daisy: Well let go, or it'll flow down your chin.

Milburn: Ladybelle is a champion-bred harness racer. I didn't know they were going to make a house pet out of her.
Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: House pet?
Milburn: I understand Elly May let it sleep in her room.
Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: Well, for once that mansion had a well-bred occupant.

Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: If Claude turns into a delinquent and starts roaming the streets with unregistered breeds, it will be your fault!
Milburn: I don't care if he goes to the park and mugs pigeons!

Jed: Yonder comes Mrs. Drysdale and she's fetchin a present.
[Mrs. Drysdale arrives with a baby goat]
Jed: Good mornin' Mrs. Drysdale.
Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: Will you please take this animal and keep it here!
Jed: Well thank you very kindly.
Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: And will you please tell Elly May we have a pet ordinance!
Jed: Oh I'd rather not, she'll be wantin' one.

Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: Well, Mr. Tucker, I'm sure you will agree this is a delightful home and well worth $200,000.
Mr. Tucker: Well, of course that will be up to Mr. Boone.
Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: Where is he, by the way?
Mr. Tucker: He went next door.
Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: Oh no. Mr. Tucker, I'm going to give you the opportunity to be a big hero in the eyes of your client. Let's say $100,000.
Mr. Tucker: I'm sure Mr. Boone will be pleased to hear that.
Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: Why did he go next door?
Mr. Tucker: To investigate that odor.
Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: Oh dear! They would have to fertilize their orchids today. Let's say $50,000.
Mr. Tucker: Mr. Boone didn't think it was orchid fertilizer. He thought someone was cooking collard greens and fat back.
Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: $25,000 and I'll throw in all the furniture!
Mr. Tucker: But, Mrs. Drysdale...
Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: 10! Sign here.

Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: Daddy, it's so kind of you to let Milburn's bank handle your transactions.
Lowell: Well if I'm going to give someone the business, it might as well be Milburn.

Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: Listen, to get these peasants to move, I'd dance the Watusi with a keg of nitroglycerin.

Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: [Mrs. Drysdale is learning how to make lye soap] I've lost my coiffure, my mascara, and my manicure.
Daisy: Well best forget about 'em, honey. If they fell in that soap, they is dissolved by now.

Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: As a gift, why don't you give the Clampetts a nice long vacation in some tropical retreat, like Devil's Island.

Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: Do I have your permission to put everything in readiness for the arrival of Mrs. Smith-Standish?
Milburn: Oh you have indeed.
Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: Good. I'll have the Clampetts moved out immediately.
Milburn: Fine... What? Margaret, come back here!

Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: So help me, if those uncouth hillbillies become my social peers, life will cease to be worth living.