50 Best The Devil's Rejects Quotes

Otis B. Driftwood: I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.

Otis B. Driftwood: I want you to pray to your god. I want you to pray that he comes and saves you. I want lightning to come and crash down upon my fucking head!
Roy: I will pray... Jesus...
Otis B. Driftwood: Louder!
Roy: Bless the bunnies, bless the little birds, bless the...
Otis B. Driftwood: I don't feel anything!
Roy: Bless the springtime morning...
Otis B. Driftwood: ooo aaah I feel it! Oh great god almighty I repent, I repent! Oh I feel the love of the god, god, god almighty! Oh the holy spirit is in my body.

Captain J.T. Spaulding: And you remember happy boy.
Charlie: Hey You still an asshole?
Otis B. Driftwood: [gives Charlie the finger] Fuck you!

Adam: Please, mister. This is insane.
Otis B. Driftwood: Boy, the next word that comes out of your mouth better be some brilliant fuckin' Mark Twain shit. 'Cause it's definitely getting chiseled on your tombstone.

Otis B. Driftwood: I think I can still smell your wife's pussy stink on my gun... hope it doesn't rust the barrel.

Sheriff: [stuttering] I'm, I'm walking the line on this brother. I'm... I'm walking line.
George: [sarcastically] Well, mother pin a rose on me, that is so great!
[serious tone]
George: I want these motherfuckers dead! Kill 'em!

Sheriff: What's going on, shit-heads?
Rondo: Sheriff...
[Wydell hands Rondo a piece of paper]
Sheriff: Here's a list of names I need you to run down for me.
[Rondo looks at the paper, and starts chuckling]
Rondo: That's some funny-ass names! Haha!
Sheriff: Yeah, look who's fuckin' talkin' "RONDO"...
[Rondo glares at Wydell]
Sheriff: Just let me know if anything connects.
Billy: ...I'm sure it will. Shit always floats our way, don't it..."Chief"?
Sheriff: Well, if you keep your mouth open wide enough maybe you'll catch it all... don't fuck this up assholes.
Rondo: Have fun scraping all them brains up off the road! Haha.

Baby: Just in case anyone's interested, I think I'm gonna be wanting some ice cream in about 10 miles.
Otis: [in a mocking tone] "I think I'm gonna be wanting some ice cream in about 10 miles."
Baby: Don't you fucking imitate me, it's fucking rude!
[mocking]
Baby: "I know what I know and I know I don't like that nut sack... "
Otis: Fuck you.
Baby: Fuck you!
Captain J.T. Spaulding: Two fucking seconds for the kid, is that gonna kill you?
Otis: Yes, it is going to kill me! I have calculated the time, and two seconds is the exact amount of time that is a hazard to my fucking health.
Baby: What the fuck is your problem? I'm in and out in two seconds!
Captain J.T. Spaulding: You know? I think I'm gonna get me some tutti fucking fruity.
Baby: Tutti fucking fruity, that sounds good!

Baby: [taunting Gloria] Shoot me! Shoot me right in the ass!

Charlie: [to Candy] You've got to hustle that pussy, baby. Find a new angle and you might attract a higher clientele.

Sheriff: Fuck Groucho!

Candy: What you lookin' at?
Otis B. Driftwood: I'm lookin' at you, mama.
Candy: Yeah, you see something you like?
Otis B. Driftwood: Maybe. I set my standards pretty low, so I'm never disappointed.
Candy: Oh, well I don't disappoint.

Adam: Where are you taking us?
Otis B. Driftwood: Well I guess it wouldn't do no harm to tell you none, let's see ah, we're going to go dig up some guns I buried out here a couple of years ago.
Roy: Then what?
Otis B. Driftwood: Well there ain't no what, that's the end of the road.
Roy: What?... your'e not gonna kill us are ya?
Otis B. Driftwood: Killing sounds so permanent.

Darrell: Now, ya'll ain't planning on fuckin' these chickens are ya?
Charlie: What the fuck are you getting at? Do you fuck chickens?
Darrell: [chuckles] Well, I have thought about fuckin' some chickens before. If you want to have a good time and you need some pussy, you can cut that chicken's head off, stick your dick in that ass of that chicken, and that damn chicken'll go crazy on your ass and go "Caaaaah!".
Charlie: Are you saying... that I would cut off a chicken's head? Stick my dick in it? Fuck it... And go "Aah"? You accuse me of fucking a chicken, motherfucker?
Darrell: I'm not callin' you a chicken fucker but that boy over there looks sexually frustrated, and I don't approve of chicken fucking.
Clevon: [to Charlie] You hear what he called me, boss? I ain't no fuckin' chicken fucker!
Darrell: My mistake, my mistake.
Clevon: He called me a fuckin' chicken fucker!
Charlie: Go back and grab the fuckin' chickens, Clevon!
[to Darrell]
Charlie: Here. Here's five.
Darrell: Appreciate it, thank y'all.
Clevon: He's the chicken fucker!
Charlie: That's all right, put it back there. Next time, we go someplace else.
Clevon: We ain't never buyin' chickens from him again, boss!
Charlie: I know. I know.
Clevon: [to Darrell] You inbred! Inbred!

Captain J.T. Spaulding: You ain't goin' nowhere, Bitch!

Clevon: Did you hear what he called me, Boss? I ain't no chicken fucker!

Officer: You recognize the clown?
Sheriff: Yeah, his name is Spaulding. Captain 'fuckin' Spaulding.

Sheriff: Welcome to hell motherfuckers.

Sheriff: All right, Dobson. It's about time what we came here to do to what the good lord says in the good book as "a cleansing of the wicked".
Officer: Sir, you think we're gonna die here today?
Sheriff: Dyin's not an option. Now, you stick that back in that gray matter of yours and you make that stick. 'Cause any other thought is gonna get you cold slabed, toe taged, and mailed home to your mamma in a plastic bag. Are we crystal?
Officer: Crystal, Sir.
Sheriff: Gentlemen, let's do what God made us to do!

Baby: I bet all the girls wanna fuck you.
Roy: Would you say that again?
Baby: I bet all the girls wanna fuck you.
[mutual laughter]
Roy: Do you kiss your mama with that mouth?
Baby: Trust me, fella. That ain't the only thing I do with this mouth.

Captain J.T. Spaulding: I'm gonna have to be taking your car today. See I have some top secret clown business that supersedes any plans that you might have for this here vehicle.
[mutual laughter]
Susan: What's that about clown business?
[laughs nervously]
Captain J.T. Spaulding: [pause] Do I stutter, bitch?

Baby,19952: Tutti Fuckin Fruity!

Otis B. Driftwood: [to Wendy, mocking her that he killed her husband and Roy] We regret to inform you that the show "Banjo and Sullivan" will be cancelled tonight.

Baby: [in the motel room] So what do you wanna do?
[Gloria shakes head]
Wendy: Help!
[screams from a window in the bathroom]
Baby: I knew that fucking cunt would do something stupid! Shut up! Open the fucking door! Open the goddamn door!
Gloria: [pulls a gun on Baby] Hold it!
Wendy: [continues screaming after breaking the window] Somebody help me!
Baby: [back to motel room] What are you gonna do? Shoot me? What did I ever really do to you?
[holding a knife behind her back]
Gloria: I swear I'll do it! I'll kill you!
Baby: Why would you wanna kill me? I'm your only hope. My brother's fucking crazy, you've seen him.
Gloria: [Yells to Wendy from the room] Wendy it's all right! Come on out!
[Baby plunges the knife into Gloria's chest]
Gloria: [Gloria drops to her knees and pulls the knife out from her chest]
Baby: [pulls down jeans and shows her rear] Go ahead, shoot me. Shoot me right on the ass!
[Gloria pulls the trigger, but the gun is empty]
Baby: Stupid cunt. There ain't no bullets in this thing. It's all fucking mind power.

Mother: I keep thinking about old times. Like when you was a fucking baby.

Fanny: What? Are you calling me a whore?
Captain: I calls 'em like I sees 'em!

[to Mother Firefly]
Sheriff: You listen to me, and you listen good! I am gonna kill every member of your family! I'm gonna hunt them down like the animals they are, and I'm gonna skin em' alive! They are going to feel the pain and suffering of every last victim! They're gonna crawl on on their hands and knees, and they're gonna beg me for mercy! But all I'm gonna have for them is pain! Pain and death!

Sheriff: [walks into a room where the "rejects" are tied to the chairs] You know I got to thank you all... *sniffs*... for helping me understand what my heritage is. You see the Wydells, they always been vigilante justice. Now my grand-daddy, he rode with the likes of Tom Horn killin' scum like you for a livin'. We've always been devil slayers
[kicks Otis]
Sheriff: WAKE UP! See, I tried to walk the line but now I realize there is no line. Now we here, we are playin' on a level that most will never see. I know my brother George he didn't see it.
Captain J.T. Spaulding: Maybe he had a divine moment when his brains hit the floor.
Sheriff: Yeah well, maybe you will too.

[looking at Wendy's mutilated body after it's run over by a truck]
Sheriff: Jesus Christ, what a fucking mess. There must be 100 yards of bloody asphalt and corpse chunks.

Sheriff: From delusion lead me to truth, from darkness lead me to light, from death lead me to eternal life. Hallelujah! Are you feeling it brother?

Captain J.T. Spaulding: [to Sheriff Wydell] If you're gonna start the killing, you best start it right here. Make sure I'm all the way dead, because I'll come back and make you my bitch!

Baby: I love famous people! They're even better than the real thing, ya know?

Baby: [after Charlie Altamont pulls out a gun] What the fuck is this shit?
Otis B. Driftwood: You bring us all the way out here and this prick pulls a gun on us? Nice fuckin' plan, daisy!
Captain J.T. Spaulding: Just do it! He's a crazy, pig-fuckin'...
Charlie: What you call me?
Captain J.T. Spaulding: Well if you'd give me a chance, I was gonna call you a crazy, pig-fuckin', dumbass, pussy piece of shit!

Marty: That goddamn fucking Elvis Presley
Sheriff: What did you say about the King?
Marty: I said he died three days before Grouch...
[Wydell grabs Walker]
Sheriff: Son, if you ever say another derogatory word about Elvis Aron Presley in my presence again, I will kick the living shit out of you!

Baby: God dammit look at that jacket.
Otis B. Driftwood: What?
Baby: On TV.
Otis B. Driftwood: What? Fuck the TV!
Baby: Fuck the TV? Fuck you!
Otis B. Driftwood: Hey fuck you! Will you just keep your head in the business at hand here!

Otis B. Driftwood: Hurry up and don't take too fucking long.
Baby: Fuck you!
Otis B. Driftwood: Fuck you!
Baby: Fuck you!

Billy: Is the shit on?
Rondo: The shit is on.

Charlie: Okay, everybody in the peanut gallery, Simon says hands up.
Candy: He said put your fuckin' hands up!

Otis B. Driftwood: You had to come all fuckin' big stick, walkin' tall, like a big fuckin' hero. Got yourself to blame, hero. Look at you now, hero, you're gonna fuckin' bleed to death!

Otis: Consider me fuckin' Willy fuckin' Wonka! This is my fucking chocolate factory! You got it? My factory!

Captain J.T. Spaulding: What's the matter, kid? Don't ya like clowns?
Jamie: [shakes his head, crying] No...
Captain J.T. Spaulding: Why? Don't we make ya laugh? Aren't we fuckin' funny? You best come up with an answer, cos I'm gonna come back here and check on you and your momma and if you ain't got a reason why you hate clowns, I'm gonna kill your whole fucking family.
Jamie: [continues crying] Please...
Captain J.T. Spaulding: All right, now get your fuckin' ass out the car. Go on. Yayayayayaya!
[Spaulding starts laughing]

Baby: Well Roy Sullivan, you gonna take me back to your room and play with me?
Roy: My wife's in that room.
Baby: Or is my brother going to have to shoot your fuckin' teeth outta your head?

Captain J.T. Spaulding: Where the hell you goin'? Damn it. Don't you NEVER turn your back on a fuckin' clown when he's talkin' to you!

Otis B. Driftwood: Are you staring at my sister and thinking bad thoughts?
Roy: No.
Otis B. Driftwood: Well why not? You a faggot?
Roy: No.
Otis B. Driftwood: Well what are you? I mean, you got this hot piece of ass shaking her shit right in front of you and your'e not getting any ideas? What do you call that?
Roy: I'm a married man.
Otis B. Driftwood: [Scoffs] A married fucking man? Hey, that's just great!
[Otis and Baby start clapping]
Otis B. Driftwood: Well, let's give 'em a big round of applause, folks, for the married man! Come on!

Adam: Please... Stop...
Otis B. Driftwood: Stop? Bitch, I have just started.

Otis: I know what I know and I know I don't like that nut sack.

Baby: Chinese, Japanese, Dirty knees, look at these!
[shows her breasts]

Otis B. Driftwood: Gimme some sugar, bitch. Make it sweet.

Otis B. Driftwood: There is no fuckin' ice cream in your fuckin' future.

Billy: When we get done with them, they're gonna think King Kong came down from Skull Mountain and raped them a new fucking asshole!