The Best The Office, Season 3, Episode 10 Quotes

Dwight: It appears we're one bathrobe short.
Michael: Take it from Toby.

Michael: Bros before hos. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They have got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you are nothing but great to your ho, and you told her that she was the only ho for you, and that she was better than all the other hos in the world. And then... Then suddenly she's not your ho no mo'!

Jim: What do we have here?
Dwight: What does it look like?
Jim: Dead goose.
Dwight: And circle gets the square.

- I really liked your karaoke idea.
- Oh, cool, yeah.
- That could really be fun.
- Youguysdoarafib? Thank you.
- Yeah, we do a raffle.
- Hey, kev. Hey.

Michael: [Carol exits office after breaking up with Michael] I'd like everybody's attention. Christmas is canceled.
Stanley: You can't cancel a holiday.
Michael: Keep it up, Stanley, and you'll lose New Year's.
Stanley: What does that mean?
Michael: [voice starting to break] Jim, take New Year's away from Stanley.

Jim: You just had a rebound.
Michael: I had a rebound.
Jim: Yeah. Which, don't get me wrong, can be a really fun distraction. But, when it's over, you're left thinking about the girl you really like, the one that broke your heart.

Dwight: Monkey, this is possum. Do you copy?
Angela: Copy, possum. What's your 20?

Dwight: Pam and Karen, I am ordering you to cease and desist all party planning immediately.
Pam: You can't do that.
Dwight: As ranking number three in this office, I am order...
Andy: [grunts] I'm number three.
Dwight: You're number four.
Andy: Yeah, but I'm number three.
Dwight: Uh, no.
[to Pam]
Dwight: You must turn over to me all Christmas decorations and party paraphernalia immediately. They will be returned to you on January 4th.
Jim: Okay, I think I can help here.
Dwight: Okay, good. They...
Jim: As ranking number two, I am starting a committee to determine the validity of the two committees, and I am the sole member of the committee. The committee will act on this now.
Dwight: Okay, this is stupid.
Jim: Could you please keep it down? I'm in session.
[long pause]
Jim: I have determined that this committee is valid.
Dwight: What? No! No! Wait! Wait, wait, wait.
[thinks about it]
Dwight: Permission to join the Validity Committee.
Jim: Permission denied.
Dwight: Damn it.

- Did Michael give you permission to do this?
- Start the party.
- Also, I would like to inform you that, as a special treat, my party will be starting early.
- In fact, itwill be starting right now.
- Yeah. Our party is also starting now.

- Have a bucket there for the blood, and the innards, and the feathers.
- Oh, no, this is different.
- The CIA thing, that was a prank on Dwight.
- This is more like a...
- Okay. It's pretty much the same thing.

Carol: [shows Michael a framed photograph of her two kids, herself and a man on a ski trip. Michael had photoshopped his face in place of Carol's ex-husband's face] What is this?
Michael: [laughing] That is my Christmas card. It's a picture of you and me and your kids on a ski trip, having a blast. "Ski-eason's Greetings."
Carol: No. See, we never went on a ski trip.
Michael: [holding back laughs] I know. I know.
Carol: I went on a ski trip two years ago with my kids and my ex-husband.
Michael: Right. Yes, but what you didn't realize at the time was that I was with you, in a sense, I was in your heart...
Carol: [interrupts him] Michael...
Michael: ...and next to your kids. What?
Carol: This is so weird.
Michael: I don't understand.
Jim: [to the camera] It's a bold move to photoshop yourself into a picture with your girlfriend and her kids on a ski trip with their real father. But then again, Michael's a bold guy. Is "bold" the right word?

Michael: [rides into office on very old and very used 10-speed bike and stops at Pam's desk] Hey! I would like a nice slice of Christmas Pam. Side of candy Pams. And perhaps some Pam chops... with mint.
Pam: Can I help you, Michael?
Michael: I'm looking for the Toy Drive box.
Pam: It's behind you.
Michael: [turns around to see Toy Drive pile full of brand-new, unopened toys. Leans his old bike against wall] Okay. Well, I need to put this bike in there. I hope it will fit, with all these little knickknacks.
Jim: Wow. What kind of bike is that?
Michael: Um. I don't know. Average kind.
Kevin: That tires look pretty worn.
Michael: Well, that is probably from the test drive.
Jim: But the paint is chipping. Is that your old bike, Michael?
Michael: No.

- down in their headquarters at Langley for training and an ice cream social with the other agents.
- We should get him a bus ticket to make his trip easier.
[Typing] Oh, no, that would be great. We should try.
- It costs $75.
- Well, maybe the CIA could send a helicopter.

Karen: Does anyone ever stand up to Angela? Or...
Pam: I think one of her cats did once. She came in with scratches all over her face.

- of the mess you left when you went away it's not fair to deny me of the cross I bear that you gave to me you, you, you, you, you, you, you oughta know!
- Nice. Way to go, kev!
- Good work! Yeah!

Michael: Jim, Dwight, Ryan, come on, we're going to Asian Hooters.

Michael: You walk out that door and it is over.
Carol: I know.
[walks out door]

Dwight: It is my job to be there for Michael. How can I be there for Michael if I am here for Michael?

Angela: [Dunder Mifflin party planning committee meets in conference room to discuss holiday party festivities for the office] Phyllis, I need you to pick up green streamers at lunch.
Phyllis: I thought you said green was whorish.
Angela: No. Orange is whorish.
[Camera pulls back to show Phyllis wearing an orange blouse]
Karen: So, I had a couple ideas to make the Stamford branch feel more at home. Each year, we have a Christmas raffle...
Angela: It would never work here.
Karen: Okay. Um, another idea was karaoke.
Angela: No.
Karen: A Christmas drinking game?
Meredith: Yes!
Angela: God help you.
Karen: What?
Angela: These are all terrible ideas. And none of them are on the theme of a Nutcracker Christmas. I think you should leave.
Karen: [laughs nervously, unsure what to do] You're kidding.
Angela: You tried this out, and it's clearly not for you. It's time to go. Come on. Please? Thank you.
[Karen looks to Pam for help, but Pam awkardly looks down at some papers, leaving Karen to fend for herself. Angela rises and shows Karen to the door. Karen leaves the meeting]

- It will also have Angela.
- So double-fudge, Angela.
- Double-fudge,
- Angela.
- Brownies. Cupcakes.
- Don't push it.

- I really don't think I should be doing this stuff anymore, though.
- No, just because of the promotion.
- Oh, yeah.
- Just feels a little bit like...
- No, I get it. Of course. Okay.

Angela: Hey! Excuse me! Waitress lady! Hey! Where do you think you're going with that?
Nikki: I thought I could have it.
Angela: No, you can't have it. I don't walk into your house and steal your Hello Kitty backpack.

- You touched my heart, you touched my soul...
- This is an old adage.
- But they say that when you find true love, you know within the first 24 hours.
- With Carole,
- I knew within the first 24 minutes of the second day I met her.

- Michael...
- Yes.
- I'm sorry.
- No... Carole?
- You walk out that door and it is over.
- I know.

- It's a dead animal in our office. You can't...
- I'm sorry.
- Please. Please.
- Clean it in your car.
- I would like it off my desk.
- Oh, Pam, take a chill pill.