The Best Chris Farley Quotes

Leo: I guess you heard, I did it. I'm ready to do my time. Get me a beer!

Dale: Maybe Leo did kill Laura Palmer, but... but we still haven't figured out who shot me.
Leo: I did! Jeez, you saw me!

Ned: This is a friggin' circus!

Audrey: Agent Cooper.
Dale: Audrey. Did you dig up any new leads at the perfume counter?
Audrey: I quit that job as soon as I found out that Leo did it.
Leo: That's right. I'm the one.
Dale: [walking over to Leo] I'm talking to Audrey.
Leo: I got pictures, see?
[pulls his wallet out of his pocket]
Leo: Here's me, about to kill her. Here's me killing her. Here's me wrapping her in plastic.

Todd: No problem, just having a heart attack.
[pounds his chest]
Todd: ... Almost over! Done, done.
Bob: Very good. Very nice recovery, now how, how many heart attacks is that for you Todd?
Todd: That makes a bakers dozen for me.
Carl: Jeez, I've on- I've only had six.
Bob: Well, something to shoot for Carl.