The Best Various Quotes

Announcer: On the outer reaches of our galaxy spins the planet Estrogena, where evolved an advanced race of women: Planet ofthe Enormous Hooters!
Queen: Bring the deformed one to me!
Courtier: Queen Zarma, your Exalted Fullness. We have brought the prisoner.
Courtier: Look! Her breasts are so small, they look like melons!
[both courtiers and the Queen laugh out loud]
Prisoner: Oh, please don't belittle me.
[more laughter]
Queen: Ah, you are a disgrace to our planet. I hereby banish you to the planet Earth, where your undersized breasts will go unnoticed, and you may live the rest of your life in anonymity. Take her to the spaceshipette, she disgusts me!
Prisoner: No, no! Please reconsider!
Announcer: Tune in next week for Planet of the... Enormous Hooters!

Stuart: Michael, denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

Bill: You wanna swap wives?
Jerry: I'm not married, Bill.
Bill: Do you have anything you wanna swap?
Jerry: Well, not really.
Bill: Do you know, maybe you shouldn't mention that I just brought up wife swapping, you know.
Jerry: There's no need to, Bill, because it has nothing to do with the fact that America has lost its competitive edge. And, and, I just wanna know, are you gonna bring up the fact that here we are live from New York, and it's Saturday night.
Bill: No, I won't bring it up if you don't.
Saunders: I'll bring it up.
Bill: Saunders!
Saunders: Live from New York, it's Saturday night.

Kyle S.: And you know what?
Stuart: What?
Kyle S.: Chicken Butt.

[repeated line]
Stuart: ...because I'm good enough, smart enough, and - doggone it - people like me!